Okay so the title pretty much says it all. I'll think of a better one later. I, okay I can't exactly explain what was going through my head when I making this. I think it was two or something in the morning, I was high off of sugar and Dr. Pepper and whatever I had, I found a really funny comic strip someone did of One Piece but I couldn't read it because it was in kanji and all but I got the general idea of it. This popped into my head so I just went with it. I actually wrote this a while ago but never posted it. Yeah, I pretty much changed a lot of things in here. I gender-bent a few people, well at least one another if I continue writing. I messed with the story plot and pretty much did what the title says. Messed up One Piece. If you don't like it go ahead and tell me. I will say this now FLAME ME IF YOU DARE! I will accept them on this piece. But only this one because this one probably deserves it. I really have no clue what was going through my head with this one, I really don't. If you do like it though and what me to continue or have anything you might want to add, just tell me. I will listen an that is the end of my ridiculously long note.


One Piece: Just Completely Messed Up

Chapter 1: I guess you can call it that

"It was kinda heavy when I pulled it up, wonder what's in it?"

"Ooh, I bet it's some really good alcohol! Tossed in the waves of the sea it has got to be good!"

"But why was it floating out in the middle of the ocean?"

The three men stared at the barrel before them. "Who cares, let's crack this baby open!" one said.

"Maybe we should tell Oyaji we found it first and… you aren't listening are you Thatch."

"Alcohol~ 3 Alcohol~ 3"

A man with short messy blond hair kneeled in front of the barrel to open it up and see what was in it and like his friend ignored the other man's words. It couldn't hurt to see what was in it. He was about to touch it when the barrel started to sway back and forth.

"AAAAHHH! IT MOVED IT MOVED!" the one who had first been cheering about the alcohol said stepping back from the still swaying barrel.

"I can see that." The one in front of it said calmly not backing away.

"BARRELS DON'T JUST START MOVING!" the one said to his friend.

The barrel finally stopped moving and the man in front of it was about to open it again when a figure broke out of it.

"AAAH~! THAT WAS A GREAT NAP! I got so dizzy, I thought I was going to barf!" the figure that came out was a small girl. Her hands were raised over her heads suggesting she had broken the barrel lid when she was stretching. Messy black hair covered with a straw hat crowned her face and under her left eye was a small scar. She wore a red vest that revealed part of a well sized chest.

The man in front of the barrel and the one who had said that they should show 'Oyaji' stared at the barrel dumbfounded. The one called Thatch began to cheer.

"It's a girl and she's so cute~3" he said looking at the girl in the barrel. The sounds of their crew could be heard outside the room that they were in.

"Hello there~!" the girl said to the man in front of her. She had one had on the barrel and the other in the air as a hello gesture. The man lifted his hand slightly and muttered a small hi.

"Marco what the hell do you think you're doing so close!" Thatch said pointing a finger at the man as he stood up. The small girl looked up at him with her same large grin.

"Let's get you out of there." Marco said to the girl. He wrapped his arms around her waist and easily lifted the girl up showing that she was wearing a pair of daisy duke style shorts. The girl looked up at him still smiling as he lifted her up and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt as she felt her balance tip a bit. "She's so tiny…"

"Don't touch her like that Marco! OI LISTEN TO ME!" Thatch said continuing his rant at the man as he picked up the small girl who was shorter than him by a lot.

"Your head looks like a pineapple." The small girl said pointing at his head. Marco would usually be angry at the comment but stopped from yelling at the girl when he noticed burns covering her arms and legs.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Thatch continued and Marco put the girl on her feet that had sandals on them. The girl swayed a bit obviously from the pain of the burns.

"Uh, I think there are more important things to ask… still ignoring me." The other man in the room said looking at the younger ones in front of him.

"Ignore Thatch," the man called Marco said with a sigh looking at the still smiling girl. "Who are you and what were you doing in the barrel?"

Before the small girl had a chance to answer, the one called Thatch butted in. He pushed Marco's face to the side and winked at the girl. Marco was obviously pissed about the interruption.

"Ignore the serious man. My name's Thatch and what is yours my little cutie? 3" he asked the girl.

"Hello!" the small girl said happily smiling up at him, "my name is Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy."

"A cute name for a cute girl." Thatch said happily as Luffy continued to smile.

"Okay, so we know who you are, but why were you in that barrel?" the man who had been ignored the whole time came up and looked at the very small girl. Luffy looked up at the tall man and greeted him as well.

"We can figure that out later." Marco said pointing at the girl's burns. "Let's see if we can get her looked at."

"Weren't you the one who asked her first?" Thatch said. Marco just looked at him before turning his attention back towards the girl who was looking at her own injuries.

"Can you walk?" Marco asked. The girl was almost a foot shorter than him.

"No problem." Luffy said happily taking a step. Pain filled her body and she fell. Marco caught her as she fell towards him which made Thatch freak out once again. "Oops."

"I guess that's a no." Marco said with a small chuckle. He was about to pick up the girl but Thatch interrupted. Before Marco knew it, Luffy was being carried by Thatch bridal style. Luffy was laughing at the sudden action and had her hands on his shoulder.

"Ne, is this a pirate ship?" the girl asked the man as they walked towards the door.

"Yeah, is that bad?" Marco asked the small girl. She was so tiny in the man's arms and Thatch was probably enjoying that a little too much.

"Anything is better than the marines." The girl said happily leaning back so that she could look at the man.

Jozu opened the door and they walked out into the sunlight. Some of the crew had gathered around the door and were surprised to see Thatch carry out the small girl. They stared at Luffy who waved and smiled back.

"Where did she come from?" a large man asked as the three men brought Luffy to the main part of the ship.

"Out of a barrel." Marco said casually stopping and calling for the doctor to take a look at her. Thatch put Luffy down so that the man could treat the burns she had but sat next her and kept her entertained.

"Who are you and why were you in a barrel." The man who Luffy had heard was called Oyaji asked her. Luffy looked up at him and smiled.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy and going over that will be boring~." She whined. "OW OW THAT HURTS!" the doctor had poured medicine onto the open wounds and scared the small girl who wasn't expecting it. Ace came over and looked at the girl. He had only been with the crew for a year but he didn't know of any other Ds other than Teach.

"Still answer." The man said looking at the girl who was greeting his sons very happily. She didn't look like much but the doctor seemed to have been concerned about the wounds she had.

"Fine~." The whine was defiantly evident, "The marines attacked and destroyed my island, I escaped and they came after me. A whirlpool sucked me and the ship they had chased me with in so I hid in the barrel and I guess I fell asleep. I'm hungry~!"

Marco sweat dropped. The girl had given the simplest version that could have been thought possible. She wasn't hiding anything; the girl just really didn't like saying things that already happened. She thanked the doctor and looked at her now bandaged legs.

"But why did they destroy your island and go after you?" Ace asked as the girl jumped to her feet.

"No clue and I don't really care." The girl said bluntly but still smiling her go happy grin.

Thought of every single crew member: this girl is a complete and utter idiot.


Like I said before, this is pretty much crack. Flame me if you like but I had a lot of fun doing this.