A/N: This was written with lots of love and tears. Please enjoy.
A dull throbbing ache is the first thing that he feels as he cracks open his heavy lids to see black and grey shadowed shapes. Images come
rushing back to him is bright flashes and blinding colour. Rachael... Gunshots and blood. His blood...Within seconds, he has shot up to try sitting,
the action instinctual, a reflex. A reflex that is natural, protect. Protect. Protect her. Always. Priority. But a sharp shooting pain runs through his
chest and shoulder, and he immediately lays back. His right hand is resting on his stomach, another slim hand entangled in his. The arm lays limp
across his torso, and her hand tightens its grip on his slightly with his sudden movement.
Rachael. He can barely turn his head, but it is just enough to see her curled in exhausted sleep on the chair next to his bed. Taking in his
surroundings, he notices his left arm is immobilized, and his chest tight and sore. But still he thinks only of Rachael. Her beautifully soft skin and
rich brown eyes... Her gentle touch, her bright smile...
He loves her. He always will. Even if it means that he will have to leave her. Nothing can ever change how he feels about her. He will not
stay. He can not. Again he drinks in the shadow of her peaceful figure. Nothing can change the fact that...he can loose her.
"what are you afraid of?" he whispers to himself. "loving her? not being there?" But he'll never be there if he leaves. He can't protect her,
the Bodyguard knows this, intimately. He has turned the thought over and over in his mind. "Afraid of ...What are you afraid of?" The bodyguard
wishes that she wasn't sleeping there, keeping watch over him, like a guardian angel.
He wishes that she'd just disappear. But he knows that it will never be true, no matter how hard he tries. Never will The Bodyguard be able to
put her from his mind. Never will he be able to forget what it felt like to be there. Never will he feel the fear course through his veins like death as
he felt it that moment. Never again will he feel as he feels every moment that he holds her in his arms.
Nothing can replace her in his memory. Nothing can ever compare.
He is afraid of being there, yet he always will be.
I dedicate this solely to Kevin Costner who is wonderful in every way. Thank You for everything.