Author's Notes: Hey everyone! Just thought I'd add onto this little series. ^^ Visit my web site at Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers! Though I wish I did...v.v

Rated: Um, PG for Naga's boobs.

A Bold Attempt to Control Everything – Part 2

*Notes – in the end of this fic, signal the cast talking in Japanese, but the text being in English.*

Me: Hello everyone! I'm back, with great news. I've still got that strange and mysterious power over the universe! Isn't that great?

*A huge sold-out stadium full of people appear cheering*

Me: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hm, what should I do first? I know! There's nothing like having fun with one of your favorite animes. I think I'll have more fun with the Slayers!

*Lina suddenly appears*

Lina: Nani?!

Me: Hello Lina!

Lina: Eh? Nani-yo?

Me: Speak English.

Lina: What the heck? What's going on? Where am I? *Suddenly sees me* WHA!!! Oh God, not you again!

Me: Bwahaha, yes, it is I, the great master of the universe!

Lina: Cephied help me!

Me: That could be arranged.

*Suddenly, English-speaking Xellos, Martina, Zangulus, Amelia, Zelgadiss, Gourry, Naga, Sylphiel, Luna, and Cephied appear.*

Lina: *Screams like a banshee at the sight of Luna and digs a hole to the center of the Earth, where she cements herself in using medieval cementing techniques.*

Everyone: o0;

Me: Hello everyone! Welcome to my world!

Gourry: Where are we?

Me: Why, in Minnesota of course!

Zelgadiss: Where?

Naga: OHOHOHOHOH!!! Feel that cold winter air! *Screams down to Lina * HEY LINA, MY BOOBS ARE STILL BIGGER THAN YOURS!!! NYA NYA!!!

Everyone: o0;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Me: It's actually Spring here.

Amelia: It is? Where are all the flowers and green trees?

Me: Dead.

Amelia: Ack! Such a dismal world this is!

Me: Hey, I didn't pick the climate here! I can't help it if it's still 40 degrees here when it's May!

Amelia: Injustice! I, Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune, will truimph over the cold and dismal Mother Nature with the catapult of justice! The gigantic cheese wheel of justice! I shall smite Mother Nature down with the mighty fist of justice, the mighty mascot of justice, the mighty hammer of justice, the mighty magazine of justice...

Me: *Who has been thinking the whole time * Hey wait a minute! I control the universe! *Shuts Amelia up and turns Minnesota into the Bahamas* Ahhhhhhhhh, much better.

Sylphiel: Oh my...

*Luna and Cephied just sit there looking important*

Luna: ...

Cephied: ...

Me: Blah, this is boring. Let's have some fun, shall we?

Zangulus: (Whispering to Xellos) Where did she get her powers from?

Xellos: That is a secret!

Zangulus: No it isn't! You don't even know her!

Xellos: ...So...?

Me: Ok, now for some action. Let's see...

*Suddenly human Zelgadiss is in swim trunks on a surfboard in the middle of the ocean.*

Zelgadiss: My...cure...MY CURE!!! OH CEPHIED, IT'S MY CURE, IT'S MY...uh- oh...

*Suddenly notices the band of 50 sharks circling him. *

Zelgadiss: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Amelia: (Gesturing wildly, still being shut up by Me) Mph mph mph mph mphmphmph! (Translation – Don't worry my love, I will save you!)

*Suddenly Amelia has the sudden major urge to fish, and goes off to a nearby lake. *

Me: Hehe...

Lina: Why you...Darkness beyond twilight...

Me: Ahem, let's not.

*Lina is suddenly in the middle of Siberia, wearing nothing but a loin cloth. *

Lina: (Screams so loud that it can be heard over in Minnehamas (Minnesota and Bahamas combined)

Luna: ...Hmph...

Cephied: ...

Me: Aw, you two are no fun.

*Suddenly Cephied dissapears, then reappears in a hula-outfit with a little ukalele. Cephied starts to play (rather badly) a hula song while swishing its, er, tail around. *

Luna: I'm afraid I can't let you abuse Cephied like that.

Sylphiel: I must agree.

*Both start to power up attacks. *

Me: Ok, then I'll abuse you two also!

Luna and Sylphiel: *Turn pale*

*Suddenly, Luna and Sylphiel turn into two Backstreet Boys and start dancing and singing around the island.*

Zelgadiss: (Screaming) HEY!!! HELLO?!? I'M STILL HERE!!! LITTLE HELP?!?!

Lina: (Continues screaming from Siberia)

Xellos: (Laughs)

Me: Hm, who do I have left to torture?

*Xellos, Gourry, Naga, Martina, and Zangulus get very scared and start to inch away.*

Me: Not so fast!

*Naga suddenly looses her boobs, Martina turns into a duck, and Xellos turns into Barney and tries to hug and love everyone.*

Martina: Quack, quack, quack...


Xellos: Aw, don't be sad little girl, I'll make it all better. I know! Let's sing the love song! *Sings* Everybody needs a hug, from a person to a bug, everybody needs a hug. Everybody needs a kiss, whether sad or in bliss, everybody needs a kiss. Everybody needs some love, be it here or from above, everybody needs some love. Loooooooooove, love, love, love, happy flowers, happy people, happy children, happy home, looooooooooove! After all, love makes the world go 'round!

Martina: o0; Quack?!

Gourry: *Just sits there in shock*

Naga: THAT'S NOT HELPING!!! *Pounds Xellos on the head with a boulder* I WANT BY BOOBIES BACK!!!

Xellos: *From under the boulder* Love, love, love, lovelovelove, love, love, lovelovelove, makes the world go 'round. Your boulder can't hurt me, no matter what you do, I'll pick a bunch of flowers and I'll give them to you...

*Naga crushes Xellos with a Dragon Slave.*

Zangulus: Oh boy, my wife is a duck, that annoying chick lost her rack, and Cephied the...hula. I know just the thing to get me out of this nightmare. Come Gourry, let us spar!

Gourry: NOW?!?!

Zangulus: *Attacks Gourry*

Me: Not so fast!

*Gourry is suddenly turned into Lina and Zangulus' hands fall off.*

Gourry: (In Lina's voice) OH GOD, I'M A GIRL!!!

Zangulus: MY HANDS!!! MY HANDS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SPAR AGAIN!!! *Starts to cry like a baby*

Xellos: *Appearing from under the rubble.* Aw, it sounds like someone needs a hug. *Hugs Zangulus*

Gourry: Oh Cephied, I'm flat, I've got red hair, I've the uncontrollable urge to kill someone, I'M LINA!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

*Suddenly, from Siberia...*


Gourry: *Gulp*

Zelgadiss: Hello? Anybody? Help? Please?

Cephied: *Singing in its dragon voice* And if you wanna Tijuana, then you can just a-waggle away, I wanna go to the Bahamas and sit on the beach all the day, I really wanna...*Continues to do the hula*

Luna and Slyphiel: *Singing* 'Cause it ain't no lie, baby, bye, bye, bye, BYE BYE!!! *Luna and Sylphiel continue to dance like maniacs around the island*

Lina: HEY!!! I'M COLD HERE!!!

Amelia: *Hums as she continues to fish despite the now two-story pile of fish that she has sitting next to her.*

Martina: Quack, quack, quack, quack...*Pitter-patters around the island*

Xellos: (By now has stopped hugging Zangulus) Today is a perfect day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, ah, could life be any better? *Breaks into song* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me to? I love you, you love me, let's all dance and be happy, with a great big shout and we'll dance around the world...

Zangulus: My hands...*cries more*

Naga: My boobs...*cries more*

Gourry: My manhood...*cries more*

Me: Aw, alright, everything back to normal!

*Suddenly everything is back to normal in frigid Minnesota, with Japanese- speaking Slayers and Cephied*

Me: Thanks for coming by you guys, I had fun!

Lina: What the heck just happened?

Zelgadiss: Where are we?

Luna: I don't know


Me: Er, bye now!

*Sends the cast, including the screaming Lina, back to Slayers land.*

Me: Ah, that was fun. Now to become queen of the world and move to Jamaca...

The End?

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