Because when I have writer's block, I can still type out some lurid smut. Not sure how that works. Perhaps I will die and be reincarnated as Jiraiya someday.
Anyway, consider this an alternate timeline where Naru kept going back on her declaration of love, and lacks her plot armor. But rest assured, she's not going to be bashed in this fic. Oh, and Shinobu is legal.
Falling For the First Time
By Andrew J. Talon and Anonguy
Disclaimer: I own neither Love Hina nor Ranma 1/2, and I'm not writing this for profit.
The day had started fairly normally for Keitaro Urashima. He had gotten up and gone to work around the Hinata Sou per his duty as manager, mopping the floors and checking the structural details. The old place had been through a lot but thanks to Keitaro's growing skill at repairs, it was holding together better than ever. He was especially proud of the repair work he'd done on one wall in particular. He'd been punched through it ten consecutive times, and yet each time he'd managed to repair it back to its former glory.
He sat back and appreciated it. Heck, if I don't get into Toudai again, maybe I can become a contractor, he thought. He shook his head. Come on, don't be so down. You'll get in this year for sure.
After all, he'd been working even harder with Naru and Mutsumi. He was finally getting it, really getting it!
Repair skills are just more useful, well… Skills, he thought to himself, leaning back with a sigh.
Keitaro looked up and smiled as he saw Shinobu walking up the hallway. He stood up and stretched. "Ergh… Morning Shinobu-chan! What's up?"
"It's breakfast time, sempai," she said with a smile. "Oh! You're done with the wall?" She asked. Keitaro nodded.
"Yeah… How does it look?" He asked.
"Oh, it looks very nice," Shinobu complimented him with slightly red cheeks. Keitaro didn't notice her eyes weren't on the wall, given he was busy packing his tools away. Keitaro in nothing but jeans and tight, white T-shirt was a very pleasant image to the young girl's blossoming libido, an image she ogled without enough shame to stop.
"Thanks Shinobu-chan," Keitaro said with a smile, turning back to her. Shinobu averted her eyes quickly. "Hey, are you all right? You're very red-faced…"
"Ah! I-I'm fine!" Shinobu quickly said. "Just, you know, breakfast."
"Ah, okay, let me just put this away," Keitaro said, reaching for his tool box. He paused and pulled his shirt up, sniffing it. "Maybe a bath too," he added.
Shinobu's face burned bright red, her hormones surging wildly through her body. Oh, she could deny and deny her attraction all she liked, do little things, even defer a little to Naru-sempai, but this-this was like torture! Sure, she'd seen him nude before but she hadn't seen him nude knowing him for him. How kind, how pleasant, how brave…! How filled out after hard labor!
It was something all of the other tenants were noticing too, though they reacted in different ways.
"Ah, Shinobu-chan, are you all right?" Keitaro asked. Shinobu swooned as her thoughts became increasingly erotic, and she stumbled when she heard him call.
"Are you all right?" Keitaro repeated. He stepped forward to check if she was all right, but as fate would have it, he tripped over his toolbox and was sent crashing into the high schooler. They fell to the floor, Keitaro on top.
"Er, sorry Shinobu-chan, really sorry-!" Keitaro started.
"Oh, it-it's all right-!" Shinobu tried. She was used to it and well on her way to enjoying it thanks to puberty.
"Er, well, I can just get off-" Keitaro said, but Shinobu's arms went around his neck.
"Y-You can lift me up," Shinobu said.
"Ah, you just have to let me up," Keitaro said. His own cheeks turned red as Shinobu pushed herself up against him.
"We could g-get up together," Shinobu suggested, with her eyes studiously away. She rested her chin on his shoulder, and she felt him stiffen. A little smile came over her face.
Keitaro took hold of Shinobu's shoulders, and tried to push her away. However, his clumsy hands went across her chest in the process.
"Auu!" Shinobu gasped, and pushed her chest up. Keitaro's eyes went wide.
"Sh-Shinobu, let go!"
This was the scene Naru Narusegawa came across. Keitaro's "study buddy" had come up merely to check on Keitaro. Not out of any real concern for him, of course, but to know why he was late when Shinobu had already gone up to check on him. She was certainly not bothered by the idea of her study buddy and Shinobu alone together, when Keitaro was no doubt hard at work on repairs in nothing more than a tight, white T-shirt and jeans… She lost her train of thought when she saw Keitaro on top of Shinobu. A Shinobu wriggling underneath him, as his hands were on her chest. Her train of thought went into high gear, and her eyes began to glow as red as the imaginary coals fueling her mental processes.
"Kei… Tar… O!" Naru seethed. An aura of pure rage flared into existence around her, whipping the wind into a frenzy as her eyes burned with demonic fire. Lightning crackled around her upswept hair and Keitaro felt true terror grip his heart and squeeze.
Or perhaps that was Shinobu's grip on his chest, which was becoming somewhat painful.
In the moment before Naru's powerful fist struck Keitaro's face, he found himself thinking just one thing.
Please, not through the wall… Not through the wall-
… Damnit… Which was the last thought Keitaro had for a while in his rapid ascension towards low Earth orbit.
Naru huffed and brushed her hands clean. She glanced over at Shinobu, and snorted. "Well… That should teach that pervert to lay his hands on you." She paused for a moment. "Are you all right, Shinobu?"
Shinobu very, very slowly nodded as she rose. "I'm… Fine, Naru-sempai," she got out stiffly. "Thank you," she added, in a rather icy tone. Oblivious, Naru nodded and turned around.
"Well, come on, breakfast is getting cold!" She said.
"Yes, it is," Shinobu said flatly. Naru felt a chill go up her spine, and looked over her shoulder instinctively. Shinobu gave her an innocent smile, and Naru smiled back. They shared this smile for a rather long time, before Naru broke it off with a cough and headed down the hall. Shinobu followed, her gaze focused at a point between Naru's shoulder blades as though she could compel her sweater to burst into flames.
When he gets back, both girls thought. When he gets back…
Xian Pu of Joketsuzoku, though normally she went by just Shampoo, checked her gear for the third time, before throwing her very large pack over her shoulders. She took a deep breath and nodded to herself, before turning and heading out of her house. She entered the village center, where most of the denizens had turned up to say goodbye. Shampoo's grandmother Cologne sat perched on a log. She rested on her staff and gave her beloved granddaughter a warm smile. Shampoo returned it and the feelings behind it.
"(Goodbye Grandmother,)" Shampoo said. "(When I have my revenge, I will return to you, champion again!)"
"(May the ancestors watch over you on your journey, Shampoo,)" Cologne replied. She chuckled. "(And perhaps on your journey, you might find me a good grandson-in-law, hm?)"
Shampoo smiled. "(If I find a warrior stronger than me, you can be sure I will bring him back, Grandmother.)"
Cologne nodded. "(Go on then. Good luck!)" Her expression softened. "(I love you.)"
"(I love you too, Grandmother,)" Shampoo returned with a smile. She turned walked towards the village gates, soon passing through them with a nod and smile to the Amazons standing watch. She took five long, determined steps, before she stopped at the sound of a distant sonic boom. She frowned and squinted at something in the sky, far off in the distance coming in below and to the left of the rising sun.
What is that? It seemed to be rapidly growing in size.
Could it be a bird? No, it was the wrong shape…
A missile? Who would fire a missile at the Joketsuzoku? It was a death sentence, something the government in Beijing had learned through painful experience.
And what was that sound?
Shampoo had no time to cry out in surprise, pain or shock before the object slammed into her. There was no time to react, only time to process the fact she'd just been hit by something that felt human, and slammed by said human object right back into her village and into a small crater.
Then everything went black.
Keitaro recovered pretty quickly from his beatings, probably far better than any normal human could, but even he had to take a break for a moment after a punch like that.
Ergh… Think I saw the space shuttle… Naru's definitely improved her punch, Keitaro thought. His senses, one by one, provided a jigsaw puzzle of input that his brain slowly pieced together, and the resulting image was one that confused him, and filled with him dread.
For one thing, he was definitely not in Kanagawa Prefecture anymore. Not unless there was a village of tall, buxom women warriors he hadn't heard about. On the other hand, given his luck, if there was one within Kanagawa he'd have probably been hit there at least once.
For another, he had lost his glasses, shirt and shoes, though his pants were still on. Thank God for small favors.
Finally, he was apparently atop one of the aforementioned tall, buxom women warriors. And she appeared to be dead.
Keitaro's brain put this all together, and came to the conclusion that he was one hundred percent screwed. But, as this was a familiar state for him to be in, he reacted on instinct.
"Oh God-Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, please don't kill me, are you all right? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Keitaro cried, jumping up off the girl and holding his hands up disarmingly. The village of women collectively blinked.
The "dead" girl below groaned, and slowly opened her eyes. She blinked as well, and stared at him. Keitaro breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled down at her.
"Oh thank God, you're okay, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
Shampoo came back to consciousness slowly, and with a groan she opened her eyes. A dark figure blocked the sun, but it still took a moment for her to eyes to adjust. She froze when she beheld the man above her, offering her his hand with a smile.
He was not as muscular as the male warriors of her village but he was well built, speaking of a lot of hard work. His skin was unblemished save for some dust, obviously kicked up by his landing. His eyes were a deep brown, and were warm and genuinely kind, and his face spoke to gentleness. His hair was blown in the wind, and with the sun shining behind him he resembled a god.
He defeated me. He flew through the air and beat me… She smiled. This delay of her revenge was not an unpleasant one.
More silence. One of the warrior women said something to another, in a language Keitaro vaguely recognized as Chinese but couldn't understand. Another warrior spoke. Soon, the entire village seemed alive with conversation, and Keitaro felt more and more uncomfortable as the girl continued to stare.
Keitaro jerked his head and stared as a tiny, withered old woman hopped over to the girl he'd just landed on. The girl looked at the old crone, and said something in Chinese. The old woman looked from the girl to Keitaro, and then to the trajectory he fell from. Mulling it over, she nodded. The girl nodded back, and got to her feet.
"Uh… I um… You're okay, right?" Keitaro asked.
The girl smiled at him, and cupped his face with her hands. Keitaro's eyes widened.
"Wo ai ni," she said in a sweet voice, and kissed him deeply. The village broke into loud cheers.
"Mmph?" Was Keitaro's intelligent response against the girl's soft, full lips. She broke the kiss, and then hugged his arm tightly with a happy sigh.
"H-Huh? Hey! Wh-What's going on here?" He desperately asked as the cheering and applause continued. The withered old crone smiled up at him.
"Welcome, outsider. I am Cologne, the leader of this village. What is your name?" Cologne asked in perfect Japanese.
"Keitaro Urashima?" Keitaro said, uncertainly.
"Well then Keitaro Urashima, allow me to offer you my congratulations," Cologne said.
"Congratulations? On what?"
"On defeating my great granddaughter, of course!" Cologne answered.
"But-But-But-No-I didn't mean to-That wasn't me I didn't-!"
"A knock out blow is a knock out blow," the ancient woman continued. "You have crushed Shampoo, and as per Amazon Law, you must take your spoils."
"Sp-Spoils?" Keitaro asked, as Shampoo nuzzled his shoulder.
"Yes! She is now to be your wife!" Cologne said.
"Airen," Shampoo purred, as she kissed his neck. Keitaro pulled away, but couldn't escape her incredibly strong grip.
"L-Look, I-I don't know your customs and stuff, but please, hear me out, I-I can't have a wife! I'm sure you're very nice but I-I just can't have a wife right now!" Keitaro shivered as Shampoo began to nibble on his ear. "Pl-Please stop that…"
"Ah? Well, the law is the law," Cologne said.
"Can I appeal that law?" Keitaro asked, becoming a bit frantic as Shampoo's hands began to wander his bare chest.
"It's a 3000 year old law, I'm afraid greater men have tried and failed," Cologne said.
"Is there anything I can do?" Keitaro begged.
"Hmm...If a better man defeats you and Shampoo likes it, she'll marry him instead," Cologne said.
"MY CHANCE!" Keitaro looked up and saw a glasses-wearing young man in black robes standing on a carved log that was one of several erected around the village center. He slammed a grappling hook into the top, and jumped to dramatically swing down upon Keitaro.
Shampoo let go of Keitaro, jump kicked the swinging Amazon man (which sent him flying into the distance in a very familiar way), and then hugged his arm once more in virtually no time at all. Keitaro blinked, and his head bowed as an overwhelming sense of despair began to fill him.
"Shampoo, however, must like it," Cologne said. Keitaro sniffled, but managed to compose himself. He'd been through worse setbacks, he really had, and this was just another. Even though he couldn't think of any at the moment, he was sure there HAD to be one.
"Okay… Okay… Um…" He took deep breaths, and slowly nodded. "Okay… Ah… Could you possibly help me get back to Japan?"
"But of course! We were on our way there anyway," Cologne said. "Shampoo has another honor debt to fulfill."
"Ah… What kind of honor debt?" Keitaro asked.
"She was defeated by another outsider, but the circumstances are markedly different. She was defeated by an outsider girl named Ranma, and thus she must take revenge," Cologne said.
"Yes. Shampoo must find this girl and kill her," Cologne said.
"But-But she can't kill her! Sh-She'll go to jail! We'll go to jail!" Keitaro protested.
"...You don't seem to understand what's going on here," Cologne said, in a patient voice. "Amazon Law dictates that Shampoo must pursue Ranma to the ends of the Earth and kill her."
"It's due to her honor, I understand that! But if she kills her in Japan then she'll go to jail! And so will I!" Keitaro said desperately.
"It is, as in your case, nonnegotiable," Cologne said. The old woman rubbed her chin, and then looked sideways at Keitaro. "But if you want to avoid murder…" She smiled, which brought Keitaro no comfort at all. "...She'd most certainly be delayed if she had to tend to a child."
Shampoo hugged him tightly and sighed happily.
Keitaro buried his face in his hands.
"But first, I will not have my great-granddaughter leave with her new husband without a proper send off! Tonight, we celebrate!" Cologne cried, and the village broke out into cheers. Keitaro sat down on the ground, face still buried in his hands. His wife dutifully followed, still holding him tightly.
Her wedding night was worth the extra delay. She'd make sure of it.
I really hate FF dot net's editing. Here we go, Chapter 1 back to normal.