Yeshua was very dizzy.
He had no clue how he had gotten so disoriented, but he had done so much as to wander all the way from Nazareth to the Jordan without so much as understanding why he was doing so, without even the ability to question why he was so disoriented to be wandering off.
Regardless, he found himself amongst a sizeable crowd, all taking turns being immersed into the cool waters of the Jordan. Considering how far he had walked, and the uncomfortable heat he felt, he thought it to be a good idea. Never did it once occur to Yeshua that it was a baptism, as he had barely the coherence to understand his own travels at the moment, let alone the behavior of other people.
The man named Yochanan seemed all too accepting of the new arrival. Yeshua felt himself guided into the water and pressed under very gently.
His mind, in retaliation of the lack of oxygen, spun in circles, and when he resurfaced, his fever spiked, and hallucinations came.
Yeshua saw light and whiteness and fire, like a dove from the skies, descending rapidly. The crowd saw his enraptured look to the skies, his obvious enlightenment at the Truth, and Yochanan spoke aloud: "THIS IS THE SON OF GOD! HE SEES THE TRUTH! HE MUST BE LOVED AS THE LORD GOD FINDS THIS CHILD HOLY IN HIS EYES!"
The hallucination of the Dove drifted, and Yeshua followed it. The crowd was in awe and amazement at this, and cleared a path for the child that was clearly filled with fever. Sorry, the "Holy Spirit".
This hallucination of dove spirits led Yeshua through the Wilderness of Judea, into the dry deserts, a place that no soul bothered to follow to, believing him to be on the path to enlightenment. Many would see this as a Spirit Walk, others a period of 40 days in which "Jesus" chose to "fast".
In truth, the poor man was delirious with fever, following an illusory production of high fever, without a hope in Hell of returning alive.
As he walked, he saw wings and animals with pointy teeth, angels and fur, sand and rocks, and more sand. Yeshua slept on the sand at night, sometimes the wild beasts would take pity in the night and sleep near him so he would have some body heat, but apart from that, he was utterly alone with his delusions, with no food and no water.
At least, until a dark character arrived from the shadows of his hallucinations.
Yeshua dare not open his eyes, because everything was spinning when he felt another pair of arms, something substantial, something REAL pick him up from the sand, cradling him, carrying him through the desert. A solid hand brushed against his forehead, a sound of disapproval reached his ears, and he was laid on a blanket as that something solid felt for a pulse, then placed something cool over his forehead.
Eyes opened hesitantly, the brightness painful but the vision welcome, glistening blue eyes and ringlets of golden hair, surely an actual real-life angel...at least, until he saw the wings, charred and leathered from heat. It looked very painful, and Yeshua wanted to ask why he had been put through such pain, but the air was filled with words before he could speak.
"So...if you're the 'Son of God'...I think your voice should be able to turn even the stones around here to bread..."
Yeshua looked up pitifully at him, giving a half shrug. The creature responded by fumbling around in his bag for something, even a crumb, but turned up nothing. Sad eyes met his, and a shuddering sigh met his ears, and he wanted to say anything to make it right.
"Man doesn't live on bread alone...that's what the Scriptures said...that they live on every word that comes from the mouth of God."
The creature made a face of absolute dejection. It gathered him up in strong arms, and sobbed. Yeshua wrapped arms around the poor thing, after all, he hadn't meant to make it worse. In those arms, he fell asleep.
When he awoke, he was wrapped in the blanket, and the Creature had carried him to the Holy Lands. It took him a minute to realize this, because they were on top of a temple. It was most likely the only place they would not be seen by the Holy City's residents. The creature spoke once more, startling him with the flintiness of his voice, marred by the tears It was shedding.
"If you're considered the 'Son of God'..." it choked, "...You should jump."
Yeshua let out a strangled cry, looking desperately at the creature, who in that moment looked ready to jump Itself. "...IF you were the REAL Son of God...then like the Scriptures, the angels would catch you, prevent you from coming to harm..."
In silence, Yeshua watched the Creature cry even more, looking down at the people below with contempt and fear. A single, strong hand snaked around Yeshua's, holding it tighter than it had ever been held, begging that he not go back to the world, that he leave it now. "...But I thought the Scriptures say that we're not to test God..."
Eyes glanced sideways at him, still full of tears, offering a wry smile as if to say, 'Too late'.
When Yeshua next awoke, he was feeling much better, at least cooler than he had felt before. The two were high up on a mountain, and it seemed that the Creature had found something at least edible. It brought a small stone cup to his lips, tilting it just a bit. "It's tea. Please, you need to drink it." It spoke, and he complied, disagreeing with the taste but swallowing all the same since he was in such need of nourishment.
Yeshua let out a squeak as the Creature picked him up, and he was set in the Creature's lap to look out upon the landscape, Its arms wrapped snugly around Yeshua as all the different parts of the surrounding lands were pointed out to him.
The Creature finally spoke again after a long silence, Its voice timid, halted, subdued. "I-I could give you anything you wanted...if-if only you would bow down and...give me worship."
For a moment Yeshua was still, silent, slightly confused by the statement. Then he saw the Creature look down to Its lap, noticing the bulge in the fabric, and understood. He crept forward, as if whispering a secret... "Get behind me...It's been written to worship your Lord, and to Him alone should you render worship..."
That night, he could have sworn that he had been in Heaven.
Yeshua was frightened when he awoke alone, a small ministry gathered around him to offer him food and support, having found him in the mountains. They offered to guide him back to civilization, which he was about to decline, until he noticed the blanket that was wrapped around him.
Giving them a cheerful grin, he accepted, pulling the blanket tighter around him. This 'Son of God' thing wasn't as bad as he originally made it out to be.
(when I originally wrote this, there was heap-loads just...off about it. I used the wrong names and actually misspelled scriptures. So I had to edit it. I hope you enjoyed the edited version.)