Title: Two Tears in a Bucket
Word Count: 3,765
Summary: Bella is surprised to discover that the very thing she needs most can only
be found in the exact place she was using to hide from it.
Her best friend Gaymett only adds to the fun!
Morrison's "People Are Strange" rings from my cell phone. I know instantly from the ring tone who it is. Emmett would be pissed if he knew the tone I chose for him. But what song would better fit my 200+ pound best friend who more often came across like Tyler Perry's Madea instead of the linebacker he so closely resembled?
"He-ey!" his voice screeches. "Bellsy Nicole Swan!"
"Emmett, you know my middle name is Marie."
"Yea, but I like the way Nicole sounds better. What you doin?"
"Lesson plans…exactly what you should be doing."
"Honey, mine been done."
"Well, aren't you just Mr. Efficient?" I say, more sarcastic than I planned.
"And it's Saturday night. You know I can't stay home on Saturday night. I will not be oppressed."
A smile crosses my lips as I picture Emmett all dressed and ready for a night on the town, just waiting for me to commit.
"Girl, you need to get your drink on."
"Oh is that right?" I answer coyly; egging him on as I shut down my laptop.
"Bellsy, you know I'm right." I can picture his dark eyebrows pitched high on his forehead and it causes me to smile again.
"Now Emmett, why would I want to go to a bar full of men who look like Johnny Depp, when they aren't the least bit interested in me?"
"You don't know that. Straight men hang there, too. Anyway, you do know Mr. Depp plays for my team, right?"
Emmett thinks every hot guy in Hollywood plays for his team.
"No he doesn't." I begin to argue, but the more I think about it, the more uncertain I become. "Well, as long as he switch hits, I am good to go."
"Girl, you so craaazy!" Emmett laughs. "That means you're coming right?"
"Oh, I don't know Em." I tease. "Mrs. Cope had lots of comments about the last set of lesson plans I turned in."
"Fuck that dried up bitch." Emmett says.
"As much as I think she needs it, no thank you." I reply.
"You know your plans are fine." He begs. "Come out with me!"
"Easy for you to say, Mr. Principal's Favorite. I work my ass off and never get the first measly compliment."
Then I mouth the words as my friend says them.
"Two tears in a bucket...mother fuck it!"
That is Emmett's answer to everything.
This is how Saturday nights had been for Emmett and I ever since he'd been hired as a Special Ed teacher at my school three years ago. He'd call, I'd play hard to get before giving in. Then we'd hit an array of gay bars and drag clubs, he'd hook up and I'd sit in the parking lot for an hour after the club closed waiting for him to come back around to the front of the building.
In the beginning, I didn't even realize what kind of bars he was taking me to. I'd lived a pretty sheltered life in a small town and, although I should have, I had no idea Emmett was gay. Well, not for sure anyway. Not until he came into my classroom one morning after we'd each had one too many margaritas the night before. He asked if I had any Midol. "Cuz I got cramps." I wasn't sure at that point if he was actually male or female, but I knew he was unique. Then came the night at a club when I went back to the car for my purse and I accidentally walked in on him and another guy in the backseat. That's when I knew for sure. Emmett was one hundred percent male and a hundred percent gay.
Most weekends I actually enjoyed hanging at the clubs with Big E. I mean it was completely safe and nobody really bothered me like they did in the meat market of the straight bars. I could just relax and enjoy the music if I wanted. Or if I was in the mood to dance, there were always tons of willing participants to join me on the floor. But sometimes it was overwhelmingly depressing how nobody ever seemed interested in me at all romantically; male nor female. Not that I was interested in women, but it would have been nice to feel desirable nonetheless.
I decide I am too way tired to dress up this time. Instead I opt for my favorite comfy jeans, a white tank with a lightweight blue v-neck sweatshirt over it and my white sneakers. I pull my hair up into a ponytail and think of what Emmett will most likely have to say about how I look.
Two knocks followed by the door squeaking open lets me know Emmett is here. I can see him through my mirror. He's wearing tight button fly jeans, a long sleeved pink v-neck that accentuates every curve of his well-sculpted chest, a lavender scarf and pastel colored loafers-no lie. And as soon as I walk into the room, he has something to say.
"Well if it isn't Martha fucking Stewart. Where's Bellsy, I'm ready to go."
"I take it you don't like what I'm wearing?" I smiled.
"Oh, it's fine if your ass is home makin' cookies. But for going clubbing... Hells to the NO!"
"Then I guess cookies it is, because I am too damn tired to dress for a bunch of people I'll be invisible to."
His whole tone changes. "Now, don't be like that. You know I love you."
I do my best Vanna impersonation with my hands. "And my clothes?"
"Well, people will notice you tonight." He says with a smile and continues to grumble as we walk out the door. "They gonna ask who the kitschy white girl is and wonder when Marie Osmond's coming to take your lost ass home."
By the time we get to Love Bites the newest gay bar in town, Emmett is completely over my outfit. Of course that could have something to do with the entire quart of Colt 45 he has consumed during the 15 minute ride from the liquor store. Somehow I was able to talk him out of buying the bottle of Boone's Farm. Thank God! After weeks of scrubbing, I'd finally managed to remove the stains from my interior after the last time I let him get it.
I follow Emmett to the door, stopping to pay the cover on my way in and notice that Emmett has already disappeared from my side. That's when I see him and I know I'll be flying solo for the rest of the night. James. The one guy Emmett can never resist. They had tried more than once to make a go of it, but every time were reminded that they mix about as well as oil and water. I can only assume the sex must be pretty damn good, whatever that means, because they keep going right back to one another again and again.
I sit alone at the bar waiting forever for the bartender to notice me. He is a Native American looking guy. A little too built for my taste. I figure I don't want anything steroids have been messing with. Finally he comes over and, figuring there is no telling how long it will take for me to get another drink, I order a Long Island Iced Tea. The drink goes down a little too easily, the after effects of a rough week with students. So I order another before wandering closer to the dance floor and finding a high top table with only one stool. Perfect.
Emmett and James are bouncing around on the dance floor, Emmett holding his ring finger up and smiling, as he does his best Beyonce' moves to "All the Single Ladies". James sings along, running his hands up and down Emmett's sides. Watching them, I realize that they aren't all that different from me. All Emmett wants is for someone to see him as special; above and beyond everyone else. He masks it with meaningless sex, but what he really wants is love. And for him, Mr. Right might just look a lot like James.
"Emmett, I see you brought a snack!" James booms as he comes from behind me, pretending to nibble on my neck. He always teases me about being snack-size. "How's Bells tonight?"
Emmett picks up my empty glass. "She's in need of another drink!" He says as he walks toward the bar.
As soon as Emmett is out of earshot James asks "So, what do you think the chances are Emmett and I can get back together for good this time?"
"Getting back together is pretty much a sure thing. Staying together? Now that's another story."
"But this time is different Bella. I'm ready to be monogamous."
Monogamous? I had no idea that was an issue for Emmett. With the amount of sex I'd accidentally witnessed him engaged in alone, I always assumed he was the one who enjoyed being a slut. But now I realize he'd only been acting out in rebellion because he actually wanted more from the man he loved.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I even find a person I'm interested in? Why do I only hang out in places where I will never meet a nice hetero guy? Why do I spend all my free time in places like this?
Emmett drops my drink off and James drags him out to the floor when a remix of Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" comes on.
That's when I notice someone in the line at the bathrooms watching me. Wide dark eyes with long dark lashes. Full pouty lips and the clearest complexion I've ever seen. Shiny black hair...pulled back loosely at the nape of a long slender neck, a few loose dangling strands framing the face. The most beautiful face I have ever seen.
Before I know it the stranger is walking straight toward me. My heart's beating, my palms are sweating and I wonder what happened to all the saliva that had been in my mouth just moments before. I take a long swig of my drink and when I set it down I am no longer sitting alone.
"Hi." It's a deep voice with a little gruffness to it; almost sounds hoarse but so damn much better. It's the kind of voice that makes you think of just one thing. Sex. It has to be the liquor taking effect, right?
"Mind if I pull up a chair?"
"Free country." I say, mentally slapping the shit out of myself for sharing my table and for sounding so indifferent about it. Because I really want this stranger at my table. Badly.
"I'm Emily." She says.
"Bella." I answer, unable to think of any other thing to say; my throat so dry it wouldn't matter anyway.
"That's a beautiful name. Bella. It even translates to beautiful, doesn't it?"
"Um, yea." I say, feeling more awkward than ever; my heart beating so hard I can feel it in my throat.
Her brow furrows just a little making me want to smooth it for her. "Maybe I shouldn't have invited myself over. I can leave, if you want?" She offers as she collects her drink and her phone from the table.
"No." I almost shout before I even realize I was going to say anything.
She stops, standing in front of her chair but not going anywhere; staring at me with those soulful eyes.
Emmett's mantra runs through my mind. "Two tears in a bucket..."
"Please. Stay. I'd like you to stay." I say, even though I know what she is. Even though I have a pretty good idea of why she came over.
Realizing I am staring and certain it must be the liquor, I try to look away quickly. But I notice the corner of her mouth curl up into a smile that instantly puts butterflies in my stomach and I smile back without even thinking about it. She is wearing a white eyelet corset laced up the front with a pink ribbon. It is the kind of thing I would never be able to fill out, although she has no problem. Her jeans sit low on her waist allowing a peek at her hipbones. On her feet she wears suede fringed sandals and her toe nails are painted pink, the exact shade of the ribbon holding her top together. It is the first time I've ever noticed another woman's toes before, let alone her breasts.
We talk about our lives and families. I tell her about Emmett and she talks of her friends back home, sharing that she is new to the area. I tell her about the students in my class and I learn that she is a probation officer. We joke about how I get the kids first and already know exactly which ones she will see someday.
And when we discuss relationships and she realizes all of mine have been with men, her smooth warm hand covers mine. That is when I know I never want her to let go.
And each time she smiles something inside me melts. Something I didn't even know had become so cold. And it leaves me with a kind of comfortable warmth I've never known before.
While I am with Emily everything changes. All the lights...gone. The people on the dance floor...gone. The bars, the DJ, the guy at the door...gone. It is me. And there's Emily. And nobody else fucking matters.
Madonna's "Crazy For You" begins to play and my eyes dart toward the dance floor. It has always been one of my favorite songs and I can't think of another thing I want more than to hold Emily close as we move to those lyrics. Almost as if she is able to read my thoughts, she stands, her hand still on mine, and she walks me to the center of the floor. I am unsure what to do but Emily guides me with a smile.
"There's no rule." she whispers. "Put your hands where ever you feel comfortable."
I put one on her shoulder and wrap the other around her neck, dying to move even closer...but still apprehensive. What if I do it wrong? What if it totally freaks me out? What if it really is the liquor and I suddenly sober up?
Emily places her hands on my hips and her cheek presses against mine. She smells good; clean and kind of flowery. I feel her breathing against my skin and I'm suddenly covered in goose flesh. I try rubbing my thumb along the baby hairs at the nape of her neck and it feels really nice. The way she responds to my touch, moving into it and making little humming sounds cause my breaths to become even more audible.
A firm touch on my shoulder interrupts us and Emmett's voice is in my ear. "You okay Bellsy?" he asks.
"Uh huh." I say, my eyes still closed.
"Exactly how many drinks you had?" he asks. And for the first time ever, I want Emmett to go away.
"Intruding." I sing...much the way he'd done to me many times in the past.
And then it is just me and her again. Emily.
I breathe deeply, enjoying her sent; sighing as my hand explores the softness and curves of her back. I want to see her face, her expression. And when I turn she is right there; her lips maybe an inch from mine. I stare at them too long, like a Hitchcock movie. And she is very still, her eyes studying mine...encouraging. I shorten the distance lip to lip, slowly, until finally we touch. Warm. Sweet. Soft. I need moist. I go for moist. And her lips part just slightly, allowing me a taste of all she has to offer. Unable to breath…unable to think, I smile and I can't stop smiling. And then I realize she smiles too beneath my lips and I feel her words breathy on my mouth. "That was very nice."
And all I can offer in return is "Mmmm hmmmm."
The song ends and we remain there, our bodies close together...her lips still pressed to mine in the middle of a silent dance floor until she giggles. "C'mon. We better get back to our table, although I could stay like this forever."
I smile. Her words intoxicate me, though I'm sure the iced tea contributed too. But I am certain now that my behavior...my feelings... are far more than just a drunken stupor.
I run my fingers over Emily's gentle skin and give in to the urge I have to kiss her again. She returns my kiss; this time longer...harder...more urgent. Yet, with her there is still a gentleness that makes me feel completely safe.
Emmett returns, awkward over the interruption. "Bellsy, James wants me to go look at his CD collection."
That's the code words we created long ago for whenever he planned to spend the night with someone. I can't contain the grin that works its way onto my face. Excitement rushes through me. The rest of the evening is now completely mine to do with as I please!
"But I can tell him it'll have to wait, if you want." Emmett adds.
"Don't be silly, Hun. You go. Have fun." I say.
He leans close. His whisper has an edge of urgency. "What you doin', girl?"
I look into my friend's eyes hoping he can see right into my soul. "I have no idea, Em. And it feels amazing."
He examines me for a moment. "Okay then, as long as you're sure."
I look at Emily and I can feel my face flush.
"I knew that outfit was gonna do something tonight." I hear him grumble as he and James walk away. "Didn't know it was gonna turn her lesbo."
Mortified, I am soothed by a soft chuckle from Emily. "He sounds like a good friend."
"Bella, I don't want to come off pushy or anything. If I am, just tell me to slow down."
Slowing down is the furthest thing from my mind. I shake my head "no", nervously chewing my lip as I gaze into her large almond shaped eyes.
"My apartment's just a few blocks away. If it's not too forward, you're welcome to come by for a night cap...or some coffee?"
My whole body reacts as I whisper "okay".
I follow Emily the three blocks to her apartment. My mind floods with excitement, apprehension, and desire. I can't help but wonder if I'll still feel comfortable with Emily once we are outside of that club. Out in the world where an alternate lifestyle is no longer the norm.
She meets me at the door to my car and takes my hand and holds it until we sit together on her living room sofa. "Now Bella, we can sit and talk if that is all you want to do." She tells me and then she leans closer. "Or, if there is anything you may want to try...experiment...you may." She purrs, feathering gentle kisses across the base of my neck.
All apprehension gone, I stammer "I have no idea...how to..."
"Shhh." I hear just before her lips meet mine. Emily parts hers just a little and we kiss sweetly until her hand lightly brushes the area just beneath the fly of my jeans. My breath catches, bringing with it an intensity of want and need I wasn't ready for. I kiss her more deeply now. Hungry. Starving. All for her.
I watch, almost as if it's not really mine, as my hand slowly descends from her shoulder until it traces over her perfect bosom. My eyes are glued to the top of her corset where tan meets pale, in an overflowing attempt to escape.
Her hands fumble with buttons as my fingers work at detangling strings. Just as her beautiful flesh is released to me the most tender touch sweeps across my clit. It causes an almost inaudible moan to escape my lips. But Emily notices. She continues there, rubbing and caressing; smiling as my back arches and my breaths quicken. I trace my tongue along her nipple, circling her areola. Her fingers tangle in my hair, pressing my mouth to her chest and I am overwhelmed with pride to be able to please her.
Emily moves onto her knees, moving closer to me. Her entire hand cups me, fondles me. Somehow, my shirts have disappeared and her face is against my chest, kissing and licking as she makes love to me with her hand. Her fingers inside me, her thumb toying with my clit; I move with her, riding her to my own fulfillment. She tells me to relax...don't think...just feel. And I do it, because it's so fucking incredible. She knows exactly what feels good and, of course, she would.
"Would you like to cum, Bella?" She whispers, her words throwing me so close to the edge I scarcely think there's time for an answer. And then she lowers until I can no longer see her face. But I can feel her. Kisses on my tummy…breaths on my thigh…her fuuuuucking tongue on my clit.
"Oooooh God." I hear as my body convulses with wave after wave of pleasure. And she just keeps going; licking and sucking and nibbling. Until I finally beg her for mercy, which she immediately provides by placing her head on my chest and holding me tight. I take Emily's face in my hands and kiss her deeply, suddenly realizing it is me I taste on her lips. The sweetness makes me wonder how Emily might taste and whether or not I would be capable of pleasing her.
"You can stay, you know." She says. "For the night...if you like."
As much as I want to, I decide it's best to go home. "I need to get home...the cat. But, is it okay if we just lie here a little longer?"
"As long as you like. Forever sounds pretty good at the moment." She says.
We spend hours on that couch, sharing gentle kisses and holding one another. Her hands stroke my hair, rub my back. She says I did really, really well for my first time. She asks if she can call me. She'd like to make me dinner.
She wants to see me again!
And for the first time ever, in my entire life, I feel completely and truly...home.