The tears of heart ache…
Tears begin to flood my face like a cup left under a running faucet well after the water has reached the rim, my heart leaping to my throat,
My throat contracting around the emotions that threatens to leap up & out of my lips, my stomach rumbling, wrestling, knotting. My hands quiver as I reach up to blot the tiny teardrops, leaving footprints down my cheeks. The path that awaits me suddenly seems like pilgrimage, one foot, next foot, step, step,
I see u.
(I see her.)
You ask how I am.
I reply that I'm fine
(Even though my heart has just crept up into my mouth & is jumping up & down on my tongue like an Olympic diver waiting to hit the water.)
I want to say that I miss you, let you know that every moment I'm awake I think of you. I want you to know that I miss your arms, your smile, and your lips. I want you to know that (I'm incomplete) my body hurts, my soul bleeds. I ask how you are (hoping against all hope that you'll tell me what I want to hear). You reply, (your answers not including that u miss me, and that you miss my arms, my lips, and my touch). My eye attempt to strip u down to your soul (searching for what I once knew so well). They get lost, (but find their way back to reality when they graze over the (ever fading) hickey, just above the collar of the shirt she bought u). My heart leaps off the end of my tongue, wanting you to see the way you've hurt me wanting you to hurt the same way.
It falls to the ground.
(She calls you.)
You hastily say good-bye,
(As u trot over to her)
My vulnerable, fallen heart.
(Not even pausing long enough to scrape it off the bottom of your shoe, like a discarded piece of gum.)
She wraps her arms around your neck, brings her lips to yours… (Your ears still turn red.) People pass, as if I don't even exist. (I want to cry, scream, and shout.) I want someone to find my heart, bring it back, and piece it together. I turn away, hoping that one day it won't hurt (as much) and hoping that I will again be able to call u and have u come over to me, to be able to buy u shirts that match your eyes, (and leave the telltale hickey just above the collar) and will still be able to make your ears turn red from the friction of our lips.
I walk away, knowing my heart will not follow. (Exhale)