I own no part of SON
Peace and love
"Ugh two finals down, one to go."
I rubbed my fingers against my forehead and released a deep sigh. Familiar hands started rubbing my shoulders as I let my head loll to the side.
"Which one do you have left?"
Her voice was still rough with sleep from the nap I had interrupted her from.
"Advanced writing and it's going to be a pain in the ass. I've barely studied and it is in the morning really early."
Long arms reached around me and hugged me from behind as she kissed my cheek. I pulled her down on the couch so I could face her and looked deep in her eyes. I could see her love for me radiating through her gaze and I almost felt the same but her eyes were the wrong color. Her eyes were always the wrong color.
When I looked at her sometimes all I could see was the past, our lives before growing up and it was hard to get past it.
"I'm sure you'll do well, you always do. Then we can get started on summer vacation."
Jill's grey eyes danced with mischief and I grinned back with enthusiasm. I really did care for her. I kissed her sweetly and smiled when she sighed into the kiss. My phone buzzed from the table by the couch and one glance at the name made me smile.
"Hold on baby lemme take this call. Hello, Kyla?"
A squeal from the other end confirmed the presence of the younger Davies sister.
"Spencer! Oh my goodness it is so good to hear your voice, but totally not in a creepy way! Ah I have news too…"
My heart stopped in my chest because I knew that any news she had for me was about Ashley.
"Kyla, is she ok? She's not like…" I wanted to say dead, "hurt is she?"
I hadn't seen Ashley since graduation night but I had heard what she had done with her life. Apparently she had nothing to stay for so she joined the Army. Ash got shipped out about a year ago. I have several unopened letters from her stashed in folder behind my microwave; Jill didn't know about them.
"No, no, no…Spence, she's ok. Ash will be on leave in two weeks! She's coming home!"
A deep feeling of relief swept through my body and once again I was amazed at how I still reacted to her after almost three years.
"Wow Ky that's amazing! Is she coming here to New York or back to L.A?"
By now Jillian had caught on to the conversation topic and was bouncing off the walls with excitement.
"MAKE HER COME HERE! MAKE HER COME HERE! AHHHHHH!"
Jill's yells disappeared down the tiny hall of my apartment and I rolled my eyes at her childish behavior. If I was honest with myself I was having the same reaction internally.
"She'll come to New York. Spencer I'm worried about how all of this will go."
"Why? Because I haven't answered, let alone read, her dozens of letters? Or because I'm dating her best friend slash ex-girlfriend? Or because I sent back everything she ever gave me?"
The desperation in my voice was clear.
"All of the above."
She sounded so worried that it made my excitement of seeing Ashley dissipate. Maybe Ashley didn't want to see me and maybe she hated my guts. We broke up over three years ago but she might hold a grudge. Plus I was dating her best friend and Jill hadn't told her about us yet.
"Kyla, let's not worry about all of that. Honestly I'm just excited to see her again. I've missed her, she was my best friend."
"I'm sure she's anxious to see you too."
The use of 'anxious' instead of 'excited' did not go unnoticed by me. We gossiped for ten more minutes or so and Kyla gave me the details of Ashley's arrival before we said goodbye and hung up.
"So, uh how do you feel about Ashley coming back?"
Jillian was perched at the kitchen counter and as confident as she looked her voice quavered slightly at the mention of Ash's name.
"I guess I'm excited. I haven't seen her since high school."
I always knew that Jill was scared of the day Ashley came back. Jill thought I would leave her for my former girlfriend.
"Yeah, yeah I'm excited too. Kind of nervous though. Spence, do you think she'll be mad about us?"
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration and squinted out the window.
"I honestly have no idea. We've been dating six months so it's not like we hooked up right after Ashley and I broke up. I imagine she'll be surprised but maybe she'll be happy for us too. There's no way she still has feelings for me."
Now I had outright lied to Jillian. The consistent stream of letters from the Middle East told me that Ashley did in fact still have some feelings for me.
"Hmm well I'm having some feelings for you right now…"
Her beautiful eyes narrowed and a glint I knew all too well appeared before she pounced at me from across the couch. I dove to the floor and scrambled to my feet.
"HA! Missed me."
I grinned mischievously and darted down the hall. This was a familiar game of chase and it always ended with her tackling me onto my bed. Tonight was no different and I let Jill catch me at the foot of my bed.
She kissed me deeply and I tried to shake the images of Ashley out of my head. I blamed my thoughts on Ashley's homecoming the next night but once again I was lying.
X X X X X X X X X X X
Jill's hand was warm in mine as we walked towards Kyla's apartment. The younger Davies sister lived only five blocks from me and it was a warm night so a walk seemed the perfect way to stall seeing Ashley.
My girlfriend whistled as she walked and she even had a slight bounce in her step tonight. She must really be excited about seeing Ashley. I knew the two of them had been corresponding since Ash got shipped overseas.
Before I knew it we were standing in front of Ky's door and Jill gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before buzzing the apartment. I counted in my head to calm myself down. There were twenty-one seconds from the time Jill buzzed to the time Glen opened the door.
"Hey baby sis! Jillian always a pleasure."
He gave a goofy bow to try and relieve the tension but it only made me force out a nervous chuckle. I kissed his cheek and glanced nervously over his shoulder. Where was she?
"Hi Glen. How's everything going?"
My voice sounded hollow in my head and my palms had started to sweat. Damnit, I felt like an idiot already!
"She's on the back balcony guys."
Glen smiled softly before patting my head and dragging Jillian off somewhere. I knew what he was doing; he was giving me time to reunite with Ashley without Jill there.
Thirty two steps to the back porch, three seconds to open the sliding glass door, and a heartbeat for Ashley to notice me.
She looked exactly the same but different too. Her hair was the same color but a little shorter and it still had an unruly curl to it. She seemed taller almost and definitely more in shape, holy shit she was in shape.
The wild look she used to have in her eyes was gone and replaced with something I had never seen in her eyes before. She had hope shining through those chocolate orbs. But her smile was the same; all nose crinkling and bright. It stopped me in my tracks, made my breath catch in my throat.
My legs wouldn't move me closer to her and I watched impatiently while she excused herself from her current conversation to greet me. Ashley moved slowly but with a definite purpose and no one dared stop her from reaching me.
I noticed her studying me and not just my face. She studied every inch of me and my body tingled wherever her piercing eyes landed. Three years had changed us both into people we never knew we'd be.
All of a sudden my hand was cupping her face. When had I become so bold? Her eyes closed at the contact and I relished the feeling of her skin once again under my hands.
I dropped my arms to my sides and once again found myself staring into her deep gaze. Had she always been this captivating?
"You look good."
It was a phrase that could have been said sleazy but it was the simplest of compliments coming out of her mouth.
"Thanks," it came out in a rushed breath, "you too Ashley."
Ashley smiled again, my heart sped up, and she stared at me with an intensity I had never seen her possess.
"Spencer there's so much I want to say to you, so much I need you to understand…"
Before I even had a chance to speak my current tackled my ex-girlfriend from behind, sending them sprawling across the crowded porch. When did all of these people get here? Had they been standing here the whole time?
I walked quietly inside and sat down on the couch where I patiently awaited the rest of my alone time with Ashley. Three hours passed, my girlfriend passed out, and Ashley was finally standing alone on the back balcony. Her eyes followed me as I walked from the couch to where she seemed to be waiting for me. The smile I received made me feel like I was the source of all her happiness.
"I've been dying to finish talking to you all night."
Her bluntness caught me off guard and all I could do was nod in response.
"Spence, it's just I've thought about you every day since graduation. I know it sound bizarre…"
"No, no it doesn't Ashley."
She smiled in appreciation but then ran a frustrated hand through her hair. It seemed the adolescent Ashley was making an appearance. It made me smile.
But all of a sudden she faced me and gave me a quirked eyebrow. It made me weak in the knees.
"So you and Jill huh?"
Enter panic mode.
"Well yeah but Ashley I swear it never happened…it took years before…we just started…"
"Spencer, take a breath," her hand came to rest on my shoulder, "its ok. She's smitten with you."
Another nervous smile and I became very aware of her hand still touching me.
"Yeah I like her a lot too."
She took several steps away from me and I cursed myself for missing her touch.
"I go back soon."
The statement hung in the air, teasing me to approach.
Great Spencer, real responsive.
"Spencer the thing is," she took a deep breath and then was instantly standing in my space, "I miss you. I tried to stop thinking about you but I can't Spence. Tell me you feel the same? I need a reason to come back. Spencer I was a stupid kid. I-I never should have ch-"
And then I was kissing her. Slow and deep and filled with emotions I refused to acknowledge. I was eighteen again and lost in being with her. I broke away but not before kissing her cheek.
Before she could say anything else to me I basically ran away from her. I stumbled inside, gathered Jill, and walked back to my apartment. But before I rushed out of the door I chanced a glance over my shoulder.
Ashley's steady gaze met mine and it sent a jolt through my body.
I hated reunion parties.
Sorry this took so long. I'll try harder to get these out quicker. Thanks for everything!