"Love Sucks"


By: Emo Fox

Gaz was in a piss poor mood.

Dib knew it the moment she came in the door(more like barged right through it), slamming it shut so hard it quivered on its hinges. He cringed, scooting towards the edge of the couch, trying to remain unnoticed – but the moment he moved, her honey gold eyes had glared him still.

"Dib" She snarled his name, her fists clenched around the paper handles of the bags she was carrying, "You're drinking with me."

Dib swallowed thickly, "Uh," He flicked his gaze to the stairs and back, wondering if he could make it to his room, "Is-Isn't that a bad idea when you're in such a bad mood?" He tentatively spoke, shifting his gaze back on his sister.

Gaz stomped into the living room and threw down the bags on the table; the sound of shuffling glass ringing in the quiet, "I don't care." She took a seat on the opposite side of the table, rifling through the bags as she picked out the bottles and set them in a haphazard arrangement before them, "Go get cups."

He let out a sigh, slowly getting up off the couch as he shuffled into the kitchen.

Damn it.

Dib hated when she got in this mood. It had become almost a habit for them to be drinking almost twice a week and Dib didn't have the stamina for it. In the day he had to hunt down Zim, and he couldn't do that very well with a hangover now could he?

He grabbed a few short glasses as well as some shot glasses as he made his way back to his sister, a permanent frown on his lips as he kneeled down on the other side of the table, "What happened this time?" He murmured, replacing the glasses in front of them as Gaz began to pour.

She opened a single eye to glare at her brother before they squinted shut again, finishing pouring all the cups before she responded, "Tak."


It was always about Tak.

Dib nervously fingered a shot glass, staring at the clear liquid with disinterest, "Can't you guys work it out?" He mumbled.

Gaz clenched her jaw tight, forcing down the words she wanted to scream at her brother; having promised herself she would vent through drinking rather than beating the shit out of him. He should praise her consideration. "No," She snapped, "Let's play a game."

He hated Gaz's drinking games almost more than he hated drinking.

"…can't we just talk about it?"


Dib sighed, hanging his head, "Fine. What game?"

Gaz shrugged, "You pick."

Dib nibbled his lip nervously; knowing protesting wasn't an option at this point, so he began to rifle through his knowledge of games. "How about," He paused, mulling things over a moment, "Truth or drink?"

She frowned just slightly, twirling the full cup between her fingers before she finally agreed, "Fine."

Well, at least this way he could get a few details out of her; maybe talk her down from the edge before they drank themselves into a coma.

"Okay," Dib said easily, "You first, or me?"



The game didn't go entirely as planned.

It had been about an hour since they started and Dib was no closer to getting any information from his sister; she always took the easy way out by taking a shot before she offered him any truths.

In turn, she had been conniving enough to make all the questions she asked him be about Zim – and not in the platonic category, so Dib found himself drinking more often than not, catching up with his sister's drunkenness pretty quickly.

It didn't take long for their brains to be too saturated to form proper thought; Gaz sprawled on the table, empty glasses strewn in front of her; the Vodka bottle near empty as it lay on its side, spilling what was left onto the carpeted floor.

Their dad would surely be upset that the living room smelled of alcohol again, but Dib couldn't find the cognition to reach and set the bottle back upright.

Dib leaned heavily back into the couch, an empty glass propped on his knee as he stared at his sister's purple head, "Nn, Gaz~" His tone flitted up happily for no real reason, trying to blink back his want to just lay down and sleep, "You can't…we need to clean…and…" He trailed, trying to grasp thought but it was so damn difficult. His brain just felt so heavy, and his mouth was so dry—and jeez, Gaz's hair was really a vibrant purple wasn't it? "You have weird hair Gaz. It's weird."

"Shut up." She slurred, her face still pressed into the table, "You're stupid."

"No, no," He pressed, slamming his glass on the table by accident, "Oops, I mean—" He leaned forward heavily, reaching out to grab a batch of her hair, twining it roughly between his fingers, "How'd it get so purple?"

"Ow!" Gaz hissed, trying to yank herself free from her brother's clumsy fingers, "Get off—" She grabbed at the closest bottle, chucking it easily at Dib's big head.

Dib didn't have time to dodge; the heavy bottle cracking the side of his head – knocking his glasses askew as he yipped in pain, "Damn it—Fuck—" He nursed the side of his head, feeling blood well up just above his eyebrow, "What's your problem?" He nearly whined, standing up awkwardly on his shaky legs as he kicked out at the table – causing the precarious bottles and glasses to go tumbling to the floor.

Gaz propped herself back on her hands, glaring up at her brother – ignoring the mess he made around her, "Don't touch me."

Dib frowned, rubbing at his wound, though the pain was nothing more than a dull throb, the alcohol strumming through his veins providing a nice numbing agent, "Whatever." He murmured, trailing from the living room, intent on getting to the kitchen to bandage his head.

The blow seemed to knock him sober; at least enough to shove the happy-ish mood right out of him.

She stared off after him, frowning as she rubbed at her eyes, trying to get rid of the itchy feeling; hating how high her emotions had been running lately. Maybe drinking wasn't such a good idea. "It's not that bad." She yelled after him, "Wuss."

He started wetting a cloth in the sink before he pressed the dish towel to his temple, "I don't get what your problem is," He called back to her, "I didn't even want to drink. It was all your idea." Dib mumbled, "Then you threw a bottle at me. Why are you always so mean Gaz? Huh?"

Gaz rolled her eyes, forcing herself up, using the entertainment center for support, "Why are you so stupid?" She snapped back to him, glaring off towards the front door.

"I'm not stupid." Dib said, turning his bright eyes on his sister who was staring intently elsewhere.

An awkward silence began to settle; the permeating stench of alcohol wafted thickly in the space between them.

Dib set the bloodied towel on the sink, trying to figure out why he was in the kitchen, having forgotten exactly what he had been doing in the few minutes of quiet. "Gaz?" He called, starting back to the living room, though lost his balance half-way – stumbling into the wall he braced himself on it, feeling his stomach starting to churn, "You never," He swallowed down the bile that tried to rush up his throat, "You never told me what happened."

Gaz leaned up heavily against the TV, her eyes staring sightlessly at the empty space under the door. "It's none of your business." She said after a moment, though the usual bite was absent from her tone.

Dib's brows furrowed as he tried to keep a grasp on the situation, "It is." He said gently, "I want…to know." He drawled, leaning up against the wall.

Gaz's figure remained rigidly transfixed in front of the entertainment center, just staring at nothing; debating with herself whether to release the tension of her thoughts by telling Dib her problems or keep them bottled up and dismiss this possible brother-sister moment.

It only took a minute of deliberation for Gaz to come up with a response, "It's just—"

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

The pounding on the door caught both of them off-guard.

"Who—" Dib started, a prickle of fear had raced up his spine with the notion it could be their father coming home early.

Gaz seemed to be thinking the same thing as she stumbled for the couch, trying to grab at it as another anchor before she'd make it to her room—intent on blaming the entire alcohol-adventure on Dib, as she always did, if Professor Membrane was actually home early.

"Gaz." That accented voice caused Gaz to stop in her tracks; her knees instantly going weak and it took everything she had to hold onto the couch and not tumble in a heap on the floor.

Dib struggled with trying to recognize the voice, "Who is it?" He called easily, though he didn't make a move towards the front door.

"Open up." Tak called, ignoring Dib's question entirely, "I need to…talk to you." She said slowly, jiggling the door handle for emphasis.

Gaz's fingers dug into the cushions, her back to the door. She wanted to yell and scream at Tak to go away, but a small part of her was scared the alien might heed her words and never come back.


Gaz lowered her head, her violet hair shielding her face as she chided herself for her own dependant thoughts.

Who cared if Tak shipped off and never returned?

She didn't need her…

She could do just fine without her.

Gaz clenched her fists, "Go away!"

Dib glanced to his sister, then towards the door, unsure what he should do with himself.

The handle jiggled more firmly than before until finally the silver knob had given way, landing with a dull 'thud' on the carpet as Tak easily pushed open the door. Her false eyes flicked to Dib in a quick calculating movement before she stalked the few feet towards Gaz, grabbing her up from behind, "Gaz—"

Gaz whirled around in that instant, slapping Tak firmly across the face; the shock of the blow disabled the hologram projector, revealing Tak for what she truly was as she towered just a few inches over the human, "Don't touch me—I don't want—"

Tak easily restrained Gaz, holding her wrists firm as she pressed her up against the couch, "Stop." She hissed, her curled antennae drawing back as she leaned in, nudging Gaz's face aside as she nipped firmly at the girl's throat – eliciting a sharp gasp, "If it's an apology you want…" Tak murmured against her jugular, teeth whispering across her neck, "I apologize."

Gaz shuddered at the feel of those bruising teeth against her flesh; her amber eyes fluttered closed as she moaned, "It's not…" She tried to tug her hands free but Tak held her still, "It's not good enough." She managed out; not nearly sober enough for such strong words.

Tak tangled their legs, forcing Gaz to bow against the back of the couch, arching into her, "Then what?" She said in mild irritation, drawing her lips back across Gaz's jaw before she let them ghost over the girl's mouth.

Gaz's eyes opened just enough to survey the alien's expression, staring sightlessly up into those narrowed purple eyes, "Make it up to me." She said in a low, demanding tone.

Tak smirked just slightly, her ridged tongue roamed across Gaz's lips, tasting the burn of alcohol that mixed with the girl's natural flavor—

"A-Ahem." Dib coughed awkwardly into his hand, having been struck dumbfounded at the entire turn of events. That was his sister for god sake's and…and an alien, and, just, ew. He grimaced.

Tak glanced over her shoulder, a frown tugging her lips, not dissuaded from her captive in the least as she flicked her uncaring gaze over to Dib, "Get out."

"Hey—This is my house—" Dib said in protest, gesturing towards the stairs, "Why don't you two go somewhere else?"

"Get out Dib!" Gaz yelled, shooting him a venomous glare.

Dib winced, feeling dejected.

Didn't Gaz want to forget about Tak? Did she forget that he just tried to help her through her pain?

How ungrateful.

Though, the hostility oozing from both females were enough to have him moving towards the door, stepping out of the home without so much as a glance over his shoulder.


He tucked his hands into his pockets as he marched down the sidewalk.

Gaz was just so dumb. Tak would do what she did before, she always did. Then she'd come home a mess, end up drunk, and either pass out under the coffee table or get fucked by Tak even though she had been preaching how much she hated her and would never be touched by her again.

Dib rolled his eyes, feeling the buzz on his brain beginning to fade; replaced by a throbbing ache he was having trouble ignoring.

It wasn't fair.

Why did he end up getting kicked out?

Dib had continued down the street a block or two away from his house, wandering aimlessly into the night; vaguely aware he had forgotten his shoes, though the rough texture of the pavement wasn't really a bother.

Where was he going?

He hesitated on the corner of the street, looking down every which way but finding nothing but dark homes and vacant alleys.

Dib let out a sigh as he stared off in the direction of Zim's house. Should he…? Then again, it wasn't like he had any other friends to go to – not that Zim was a friend, but maybe he could at least crash there until his sister was done doing whatever with Tak.

Well, it was worth a shot anyway.

Worse come to worse he could always just sneak in and sleep in the Voot's hanger.

Decision made, Dib followed the road the next block down to Zim's base. Upon reaching the strangely colored house he swallowed down his apprehension and stepped past the fence and up the path to the bright green door.

Luckily the gnomes were inactive—not that Dib had actually remembered the gnomes at all.

He stood quietly in front of the door a long moment, debating with himself whether or not if he should make his presence known to Zim.

However, before he could decide one way or the other the front door had rudely slammed open and revealed a none-too-pleased looking alien in its wake, "Isn't it past your sleep cycle human?" Zim groused, eyeing Dib warily as he took in his odd choice of clothing(wearing pajamas to your greatest enemy's base? How foolish!), as well as his lack of shoes.

Dib shrugged, "I got kicked out."

Zim's brow creased just slightly before he tilted his chin up in an arrogant way, trying to gain inches he didn't have, "What does that have to do with Zim?"

"Can I," Dib flushed, "Stay here? Just for a little bit, until Tak leaves—"

"Tak?" Zim nearly howled, completely missing anything else Dib had said—him and his selective hearing.

Dib rolled his eyes, "Tak is at my house with Gaz," He paused, drawing his eyes away from the Irken, "I'd rather not talk about it. Can I just stay here?"

Zim was quiet a moment, digesting the information as he continued to block the doorway, "I don't know." He murmured carelessly, waving his hand, "Maybe if you...beg, Zim will consider." He grinned, his antennae flicking up in anticipation.

Dib clenched his jaw, "Please Zim, can I stay here?"

The Irken didn't look impressed, "You have to do better than that pig-smelly, or you can go frolic with the homeless." He made a 'shooing' motion with his hand before he crossed his arms back again.

He hesitated, fighting with his pride before he finally allowed himself to sink down on his knees.

…could this night get any worse?

Dib lowered his head, "Please Zim, master of all humans, can I stay here?"

Zim's lips parted in a toothy grin, looking beyond pleased as he reached forward, linking a clawed digit under Dib's chin as he forced the human's head up, "I suppose." He said loftily, staring down with those endless ruby eyes before he broke Dib's gaze and gestured towards the couch, "Just don't touch anything."

Dib got up off his knees as he trailed after Zim, absently shutting the door behind himself as he made his way to the couch.

Zim took a seat at the far end, picking up the remote as he started to flick through the channels – apparently no longer interested in Dib.

Dib sank into the cushions, letting his eyes slip shut, a contented sigh bubbling up from his throat, "Where's Gir?" He asked despite himself, unable to get over just how inviting Zim's couch was—it definitely wasn't made from any normal Earth material.

"At the fuel station or something." Zim offered, not having a clear answer because he never really paid attention to what Gir said.

Dib shifted his weight, lying out on the couch, his lanky figure stretching the entire length of sofa; his legs propped up behind Zim's back, "Zim?"

Zim moved forward slightly due to Dib's dominance of the couch, shooting the dirt-muncher a pointed look though it went unnoticed as Dib's eyes weren't open, "What is it now?" He snapped before he turned his attention back to the TV.

"Don't fall in love." He said sleepily, feeling the pull of unconsciousness right in his grasp. "It sucks."

Zim laughed openly as if Dib had told the best joke in the world, "HA!" He quipped, "No one is worthy enough to be Zim's love-pig," He said easily, "Besides. Invaders need nothing and no one, especially not icky lurve."

"Good." Dib said easily, nuzzling into the arm of the sofa, "I don't need any of that either."

Zim glanced to the human a moment, glad they had come to a mutual understanding on such a horrid subject.

After all, love would just pose a huge problem for their ambitions. Zim needed to rule the world, and Dib needed to continue to defend it – to makes things more interesting.

"Sleep Dib-thing," Zim said, flicking his gaze back to the channels he was currently surfing, "Tomorrow I want you out of here by time your sun rises."

Dib frowned, "Can't it be noon?"



Zim frowned, "Fine. NOON, then I want your smelly head gone from here."

Dib smiled, "Deal."



…I don't even know.

I really wanted to do some Tak/Gaz romance, but I could never think of a proper premise. It's not much of anything, just sort of whatever, but I hope it was still enjoyable.