AN: Sorry it took so long to get this out. There was a lot of organizing and ideas that had to be sorted out before I could post this. This starts before the whole incident and works its way up to it and to my excellent Beta Nails233 and to my partner in crime Spunkransom101.
Summary: "Ever had a fantasy about a Father figure? Possibly your own? I have and still do. Ten years older than me and still sexy. Fell in love. Legal? No. Amazing? Yes. Now its time to pull it together and make him fall in love back. Collaborated with SpunkRansom101. ExB Mature.
Simple. That was never a word I would use to associate with my life. I'm not saying that my life was or is hard. I'm just saying it has never been exactly simple or easy. There has always been these small things that make it complicated.
I can't really complain about it though because I've got it good compared to some teenagers. I mean with all the pregnancies, the STD'S, the drug and alcohol and drug addictions my problems seem like a walk in the park. But I'm kind of getting off the subject here so I guess I should start you off at the beginning of my story...
I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida with my crazy, wild, alcoholic mother, Renee, and her husband/ toy boy/ minor league baseball player, Phil. My dad died when I was just a baby and the only thing I knew about him was that I looked and acted like him... a little too much apparently.
My mother spent her days lying around the house drinking, crying, shouting, screaming at me, hitting me, or even throwing things at me. She never quite got over my dad's death and seeing as I was the closest thing she had to him I took the brunt of her hurt and frustration.
I also think that the fact that Phil was always away traveling, leaving my mother had to stay behind and look after me caused some of the resentment, which she directed towards me.
I spent the first eight years of my life tiptoeing around her. I did all the housework, the cleaning, the cooking, everything. I learnt to not only look after myself, but to look after her. I was always afraid that one day she was just going to stop breathing in her sleep or that she would choke on her own bile after passing out and I would lose her.
She may have hurt me and broke me. She may have made me withdrawn and irrationally scared of people, but at the end of the day she was still my mother and I loved her. She was all I had.
When I was nine my mother disappeared. Just got up and left me behind. I sat in our dingy apartment for three days waiting for her to come back, but she never did. My school informed the state of my absence and I found myself in a foster home the next day.
I hated it.
I got picked on for being quiet and strange. Even at such a young age I had a love for literature. It was there I learned not to trust anyone. Everyone was just out to get what they wanted and they would use anyone they could to do it. It reminded me of a line from a book I had read once. It went:
Nobody cares about anyone in this world; we all just use each other in one way or another. To feel good. To feel bad. To feel nothing at all. The lucky one's are real good at it. The rest of us just take what we can get.
I didn't use people though I used my books. They told me of a life full of colors and of people who fought against fate to get the one thing everyone wants, the thing that I had thought I had but it had always eluded me.
When I was ten Tanya, my caretaker, found a couple that were looking to adopt a child. Tanya thought I would be perfect for them. She did my hair in pigtails and I wore a light blue dress that itched. I can still remember the day I first saw Carlisle and Esme sitting in the office.
I had been so scared to meet them. Even if they wanted me now they would end up leaving me in the end. It was how everyone was. But the more I looked at them the more I saw something. The way they laughed around each other, the way they were happy and playful. I watched them in awe. They had what I wanted. What I longed for. They mesmerized me.
It wasn't long before I found myself living in their three-story mansion. I'm not saying that by just having a family and living in a nice house all my problems magically went away. Everyone knows that it doesn't work like that. I spent the first few months on edge, waiting for the other boot to drop and for them to get angry with me and hit me. I sometimes woke up screaming in the night thinking that they were dead or had left me. The amount of nights that I spent in their bed was too many to count.
It was through all this that I eventually learnt to trust them. That I realized that not everyone has a secret agenda and are waiting to jump out at you when you least expect it. It was at that point that they introduced me to Edward.
Edward Anthony Cullen.
He was named after Esme's father who died the year Edward was born.
The day I met him was the day my life turned around on its axis. I remember every single detail of the day we met.
I had been upstairs in my room reading on my window seat when I saw his car pull up. I remember how nervous I was to meet the son that Esme talked so fondly about. It was clear that they both adored him. The first time I saw him I was standing behind Esme's leg peering at him from around her.
Even at the age of ten I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Nevertheless, he still scared me. I stayed hidden behind Esme until Carlisle came out of his office and then I went back into my room. My heart was hammering and I felt so giddy and happy. I don't know how long I sat in my room just thinking about him before I heard the soft notes of the baby grand downstairs.
Without even noticing it I found myself drawn downstairs by it. I stood in the living room staring at Edward's back as he played. His head was bent and he seemed to be concentrating really hard. I moved closer and noticed that his eyes were closed. Somehow I ended up sitting on the piano bench next to him and watching his fingers dance around the keys.
I was mesmerized by how quickly they moved up and down. They did not falter once in their journey to the big finish. He finished the song and looked over at me and grinned, "Hello Bella." He murmured and that was it. I was a goner. I never really had a chance when it came to Edward. He was an irrevocable part of my life from those words until now.
"Bella." I was jolted out of my thoughts by Alice hissing at me. I glanced over at her. We were currently in our history class and Mr. Whitlock was talking about the American Civil War. The day I first met Alice was when I was sixteen. She was the kind, bubbly girl who introduced me to everyone and made sure I got to the right classes. I think that really brought us together was our obsession with older men who were so far out of out reach - a fact that refused to hinder Alice in her quest to seduce our teacher. Alice shoved a note over to me and I looked down at it.
Don't you think the shirt Mr. Whitlock is wearing brings out the color of his eyes?
If I wasn't as obsessed with Edward as she was over Mr. Whitlock I would have scoffed and rolled my eyes. I looked up at him and looked him over. He was wearing a pair of expensive looking jeans and a light blue shirt the same color of his eyes. I shrugged andwrote back to Alice.
Yeah it does.
I pushed it back over to her and looked straight ahead trying to actually concentrate. I was just hoping that Alice had taken notes for this class otherwise I would have to ask Jessica and she would just want to come over to my house to ogle Edward and that was my job.
Alice shoved the note back to me.
YEAH IT DOES? Honey, if this was Edward you would be drooling like a fourteen-year-old boy watching porn for the first time.
I rolled my eyes at that. It was a sure exaggeration. I would not be drooling. Okay - maybe mentally.
I WOULD NOT! What do you want me to say anyway? That the ice blue of his shirt makes his eyes look like the sky on a warm day?
I shoved the note on her desk defiantly. She read and grinned before scribbling down on it.
"Miss Swan?" My head shot to the front where Mr. Whitlock was looking at me expectantly. Fuck, he'd obviously asked a question. "Um…Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue." I said desperately trying to figure out what the question was. I looked hopelessly at the board, but I doubted it was anything from there.
He rolled his eyes, "Miss Swan do you even know what the question was?" I blushed ten shades of red as people snickered around me. Even Mr. Whitlock looked slightly amused.
"The Battle of Gettysburg was fought on July 1-3 in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania." Alice said calmly saving my ass from more potential embarrassment.
Mr. Whitlock looked over at her and straightened up, "Um...Thank you Miss Brandon." He looked at her for a second longer before going back to the front of the class. I mouthed a thank you to Alice and she just grinned and winked.
Sometimes I wished I had the ability to do five things at once like Alice. I swear the girl could the first female president and not bat an eyelash at all the things going on around her.
Just then the bell rang signaling the end of the class and I collected my books and stood up falling in line with Alice.
"Want to skip the rest of the day and head down to Port Angeles for a bit of retail therapy?" Alice asked as we pushed through the crowds to our lockers.
I rolled my eyes, "Alice, unlike you I actually have to work to keep my A- average. I'll fall behind if I skip." She shoved her books into her locker and checked herself out in the mirror stuck to her locker door.
"Bella, I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't going to come over tonight with all our assignments and help you. Plus you need to buy a new pair of shoes and a bag at least."
She slammed her locker closed and shoved some lip-gloss into a bag she had just pulled out.
She gave me her big eyes and pouted. "Please Bella, I'll let you ramble on about how hot and gorgeous and all around fabulous Edward is." I chewed my lip contemplating her offer.
"I don't know Alice..." I murmured uncertainly. She made her lip wobble and tears come to her eyes - a trick she uses when she wants something, it's irresistible, "But…Bella, you never come shopping with me."
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Fine, but I get to gush like a ten year old girl who has just seen Justin Bieber shirtless about Edward."
She grinned and stuck her hand out. "Done. Why don't we have a comparing competition? Your guy against mine." I grinned and took her hand, "But Ali, I don't want you to dump Mr. Whitlock when you find out just how irresistible Edward is."
She snorted, "Keep dreaming sister. Keep dreaming."
AN: And there you have it! The first chapter. Review and tell me how I did.
You can find me on Twitter as GeekLover99