November 19, 2011-Hey there, people! Just a quick note before this gets started. I know this was published in 2010, but looking back at it now, I'm really not happy with how it reads. I've uploaded a revamped chapter 2,and I'll be editing this version soon enough! I was originally going to keep this as a oneshot, but one morning (i.e. today) I went "Hey, I've got a new chapter hidden on my computer, I might as well edit it and post it!" So yes, I plan to make this an actual story with actual chapters and actual characters. Yay.
Now that I have a plot defined, I have pairings defined! Aren't you happy?
Pairings will be: Minato/Kushina, Naruto/Hinata, Naruto/Sakura, and maybe Naruto/Sasuke. None of this will be taken seriously.
NARUTO! GET YOUR SORRY ASS UP-TTEBANE!
Naruto gasped, jumping out of his bed and brandishing a kunai against whoever had punched him on the head. He quickly scanned his surroundings, before realizing that he was in front of the kyuubi cage where he had resealed the fox. "Well, this can't be good…" he muttered, gripping his kunai tightly."
Did you really have to hit him?
A true ninja must always be alert!
"Oy! Who's there?"
"Ah, hey Naruto!" A vaguely familiar voice said cheerfully. "Over here!"
He jumped back, facing his attackers, only to discover…his mom and dad. Drinking tea. In front of a giant demon fox.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEH? Mom? Dad? What the hell are you guys doing here! I thought you both faded away or something-ttebayo! You said I could only talk to you once!"
Minato smiled. "I said I could only do the seal once. I can come out here whenever I want."
Naruto frowned, closing his eyes and scratching his head. "Then what about mom?"
"She…why are you here anyway, Kushina?" Minato frowned, turning towards Kushina, who looked as if she was silently fuming.
"What do you think?" She demanded. "At first I'm all hoity-toity and happy about moving on to the afterlife (Jiraiya-sama says hi, by the way) and then I learn that he" she pointed a finger dramatically at Naruto, "had someone confess to him. So I get all excited about grankids-"
"WHAT?" Naruto squawked.
"Shut up! Anyway, I'm all excited, and then I come down here and figure out you HAVEN'T EVEN RESPONDED YET. What the hell do you have to say for yourself, young man?"
"You came down for that?" Minato voiced, sounding incredulous. "Believe me, I'm all for having a bunch of boys running around the house, but-"
"WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BOYS, EH? YOU SEXIST PIG!" Kushina roared, throwing her cup of tea at Minato's head, who immediately dived under the table to avoid being splashed. "No, no!" Minato cried, dodging yet another spray of tea. " I didn't mean it like that! All I'm saying is that-"
"Wait…"Naruto muttered. "What confession?" He immediately knew that he'd said the wrong thing as soon as his mother turned her glare onto him. "Na-ru-TOOOOO! You absolute idiot! How could you not TELL, she even said SHE LOVED YOU! I should-"
"Wait…Hinata-chan?" Naruto said incredulously. "I thought she mean as…as friends or something!"
"She...she said she loved you, Naruto! I think its pretty obvious what she meant." Minato pointed out, crawling out from under the table and once again looking incredulous. He seemed to be doing that a lot these days.
"Yeah, but...I love ramen. That doesn't mean that I want to marry it." Naruto scratched his head again. Though think of all the free ramen I could get...actually, maybe-
"Naruto! Concentrate!" Kushina demanded. "You are going to have to do something about this!"
"Hey, hey, hey." Minato chimed in nervously. "He's got a lot going on right now, maybeeee...er...uh, I mean, uh, though I guess now is good as ever." He immediately backtracked, seeing the glare Kushina was giving him.
"So, Naruto?" Her mother smiled at him, sending chills up his spine. "What do you plan to do about this?"
Funny. He hadn't remembered his mom being so threatening last time she'd seen him.
"Um...talk to her? Get her a gift?"
"That's an idea, I guess." Kushina muttered, cooling off a bit.
"Er...what should I get her?"
"Flowers." Kushina suggested.
"Exploding tags?" Ventured Minato, earning another glare from Kushina.
"CHOCOLATES" the kyuubi chimed in from its cage, resulting in Naruto, Minato and Kushina all jumping before lapsing into a few seconds of stunned silence.
Naruto was the first to recover. "Did you…did you just give me advice?"
The kyuubi sniffed. "CONTRARY TO POPULAR OPINION, I AM NOT JUST A DESTRUCTIVE FOX SPIRIT."
"You…you never gave me love advice!" Kushina shouted, pointing a finger accusingly at the kyuubi.
"You asked the kyuubi for love advice?" Minato asked incredulously.
"Hey! You weren't responding to my womanly wiles!"
For Naruto, this was not exactly how he wanted to find out how he was born. "Alright, I'll, uh, go talk to her." He laughed nervously. "So its fine, completely fine, I can take care of it!" Hopefully, his mother wouldn't realize the hysteria in his voice. He noticed his father nodding sympathetically at him.
"Hmph." Kushina pouted. "Fine. But I'll be back!" she warned, cracking her knuckles even as she faded away.
Naruto woke up almost immediately, gasping. He resolved to buy some chocolates for Hinata as soon as possible.
Yeah, Kushina is way to violent, but I think its funnier this way, neh?
Anyways, if you go ahead and drop a review, I'd greatly appreciate it!
November 19,2011-So yeah! I will get this rewritten and redone as soon as possible! Thanks to everyone who patiently waited for this!