Alright guys, here it is. The last chapter. There might possibly be an epilogue, just to say more about what happened with the parents. I have a sequel brewing in my head, but will most likely not go with it. It all depends. I'm really contemplating a Harry Potter fanfic. I really love Blasie/Hermione and Draco/Hermione.
I really wanted to put more Eli drama in this, but honestly. What did you guys think of it? Did you absolutely hate it, or did you really like it? Any suggestions or anything is always welcomed. And, now that I'm done with this story, I will finally have time to work on my other Fitz/Clare story. Which I will probably be re-doing.
Therefore, I would like to thank the following people for reviews: Yuuki Sakurai, RomFicGurl, RachRox12, CoolNerdGirl, Degrassi-lover-13.1997, krazykitten13, EclareDegrassi, anneryn7, ramen-is-my-drug, Cintiaaa-14, SuperDegrassifan1, KrumLove, GrizzlyBearLoveesYou, LikeWow5556, autredufantome, gleekster98, Brook3 XD, BlurredHorizon, Ranibow2Malfoy, jayhogartismyangel, ghettobabe510, and last but not least, BlueRose326.
You guys have all been great, and if any of you have Flare stories, I most likely read them. Any who, please drop a review and I will be greatly appreciated. This has been fun, and hopefully I ahven't wasted your time. Thank you so much guys!
My mom and dad stopped going to church three months ago when my mom found her apartment. I think they have both given up on God, but so haven't I.
I was dressed in my Sunday best. My mom still thinks I go to Church, when in all honesty, I haven't been since the three of us went. No, I'm going to visit Eli Goldsworthy. Someone who I haven't seen in three months.
I sighed and smoothed out the invisible wrinkles on my pastel blue skirt. I was tense and shaking from the nerves. I really wanted to run back into Mark's arm right now, wishing he'd tell me everything's going to be alright. But in truth, it's not. I have no idea what was going through my head when I called up the Juvenile Hall asking for a meeting with Eli. I had no idea what state of mind Eli was in. Whether he was still on the verge of a major (as if what he did was not major) breakdown and hold me hostage. Or if Eli was light hearted and wanted forgiveness, and I, being the good and forgiving Christian I am, will forgive him.
I heaved open the heavy iron doors of the facility and proceeded in. The place did not give off any welcoming gestures other than a 'please sign in' sign. The gray floor tiles had a slight shine to them, but were as dull as the rest of the building. No color on the walls, I noticed, as I walked up to the front desk.
Behind the tall desk and a sliding glass window, a burly cop reclined in the computer chair, sitting on hot coffee. Either he did not notice me, or rather, he did not care, I had to cough to grab his attention. And, even then he only spared me a glance as he pushed the sign in sheet towards me. God forbid he tear his eyes away from the small, portable television atop the desk.
I sent the officer an irritated look but signed the paper with my name and who I was going to visit. The officer leaned forward and pressed a small red button next to the television. The door to the right of me buzzed and the officer sat back in his chair.
"Take the hallway to the right and all the way down. The inmate will be waiting for you in the cafeteria. Please take no weapons, paraphernalia, or bags into the cafeteria. You will be asked to check all purses and bags before entry." The officer said in a very monotone voice, much like he has stated these words a million times before. He probably has.
I sent him a small smile which he did not return and followed his directions to the cafeteria. The whole minute walk down the hall had caused many problems with my body. First off, my hands were sweating so much, I think they made trails along the floor. Second, I'm pretty sure anyone in this dark, dull facility could hear my heart beat. Last, but not least, I think I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. There was no way I could breath, think, and walk at the same time. Screw multitasking, it was killing me to do one simple thing right now.
A window, much like the first I visited, was to the left of the double doors leading to the cafeteria. I walked past those double doors and to the window, pulling my purse up for the person to see.
An elderly woman sat behind the window, her hand feverously scribbling on some documents. She quickly shot me a soft smile and held up one finger to show she's just be a moment. My heart warmed at the sight of a welcoming person at the facility.
The woman looked at me and in a soft, but kind voice she spoke, "Hello dear. Are you here to check in a bag?"
I nodded and lifted my purse. She took it, scribbled something down on a clipboard, then grabbed an orange ticket. She ripped it in half and gave me one side. "This is so you get the right bag when you leave. You have one hour to visit."
I nodded and thanked the lady. She buzzed me in and I took a deep breath before entering the heavy cafeteria doors.
The sight before me nearly brought tears to my eyes. I did not see Eli right away, but other inmates with their families was heartbreaking. As I seen Eli with his back to me at a round table in the far corner, beneath the window, I took a chance to glance around at the others. Some looked as though they've lived here their whole lives. Others, sadly, looked as though one day had broken them into their lifeless, cold forms.
I mentally prepared myself for the image I was to see of Eli. I knew he would look beaten, broken, and possibly heartless, but the images were nothing compared to the real thing. He could hear my footsteps as I approached and he stood up and looked eye to eye with me.
Here was the boy I had once trusted with my life, standing before me with eyes so dull and gray, no life or color dancing within them. Eli's pale skin was pasty with a yellow tint, like dirt and grime attracted to him like a magnet. His once beautiful straight, black hair was now greasy and short. It was buzzed off and this person before me looked nothing like the Eli I once knew. The Eli I once loved.
Somehow, I had felt myself in his arms. The itchy orange jumpsuit he wore irrated my watery eyes as I held tighter onto him. It had been far too long that I had not been in his arms. It was comforting and slightly scary.
As Eli pulled away from our embrace, I managed to catch a shine in his eyes, one that had not been there before.
"Clare." Eli whispered. His voice sent chills down my spine. Shouldn't I be scared? Not thrilled by this boy's voice, or the new sparkle twinkling in his eyes. No, I don't think I was scared.
It's not as if we could strike up a conversation about how each other has been as we sat down at the round table across from each other. What was I to say? 'Hey Eli, how have you been? I've been good, lost my virginity to the guy you almost killed and now I have some questions about my feelings towards you?' Great way to start, Clare.
Thankfully, Eli spoke up first. He rested his hands on the table, folded together. "I know I shouldn't have sent that letter, Clare. I'm so sorry if it bothered you and...Fitz." Eli said, his voice dropping to a hissed whisper at Mark's name.
I sighed and folded my hands in my lap. "Yeah, it got him asking some questions. But I figured, we were friends once, maybe I can learn to forgive you."
"I haven't forgotten about you Clare. I love you, but I want to see you happy. Does he make you happy?" Eli's eyes narrowed as he questioned me, and I knew it was just the beginning. He waited a moment before speaking again, "Does he call you 'Blue Eyes' like I did? Does his kiss drive you mad like mine did? Does he respect your morals as I did?"
Eli's last question really hit home for me. "Yes, Eli, as a matter of fact he does respect me. That boy would have walked to the end of the earth for me. He does whatever I want and won't force me to do anything. It was all your fault Eli, you are the reason that you're here. Not Mark's not my fault." I hissed. My hands curling into tight fists beneath the table. So, maybe I just answered my own question. I really don't have any feelings for Eli. I'm not even sure I can forgive him.
"Does he even know your here? He probably doesn't even trust you? I know you let him read that letter." Eli somehow, was scooted closer to me than original. There was about a foot between us, and it was sending a very uneasy feeling to the pit of my stomach.
"I'm not even sure why I came here, Eli." I stated. And it was true, I had no idea why I came, but apparently he did.
"You came here, Clare, because you wanted to know if the man you once loved will be happy for you. I'm not happy for you, Clare. I wish he were dead." Eli said, his eyes becoming very dark with his last statement.
My heartbeat quickened at his words. I was starting to think it was a huge mistake coming here, and I knew I was right. I loved Mark, and not even the psychopathic Eli would change that.
I stood up from my spot at the table and began to walk away. In my head, I counted to three then spun back around. Eli was watching me, half interested and curious, but hidden behind a glare.
"I really just want to thank you. If you hadn't started all this in the first place, I would be stuck with yu. I wouldn't be with Mark. And you want to know something Eli? I love him. And I'm pretty sure I never loved you." Without a second glance, I turned around and made my way to the doors. I was buzzed through and did the same thing i had when I first arrived, although I was feeling much better about the world.
I was free of that horrible place after what seemed like eternity and made my way to Mark's. I know I've told and showed him before that I love him, but now it seems that I am certain. Nothing between Eli and I have changed. Neither has anything changed between Eli and Mark. But everything has changed between Mark and I. I was head over heels in love with him; I wanted to shout it to the world because now, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Somewhere between leaving the Hall and being lost in my thoughts I had landed on Mark's stoop. Before I knocked on the door, I had to make sure I looked alright. I pulled my compact mirror out of my purse and assured myself I looked wonderful. Somewhere along the last half hour, my self-confidence has sky rocketed. Which is always a plus.
I knocked on Mark's door and waited, then before long, the door swung open, revealing a shirtless and very sad looking Mark.
The smile fell from my face at the sight of him. Was this because of our fight?
Before i knew what was happening, Mark was holding me in his arms. I sighed with content and returned his gesture. I tilted my head so my lips were right by his ear then whispered, "Mark, what is it?"
His grip on me tightened at the sound of my voice and I knew this was something greater that what I had thought.
Mark pulled back and gazed into my eyes. "Clare, I love you." I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off, a finger was placed over my lips. "Just please listen to me because I had this all planned out. i was waiting for you to come over and dump my sorry ass so I figured I should say something."
I giggled at his rambling, then quickly shut up by the sight of his playful glare.
"Clare, you mean the world to me. And if I'm not doing something right then please, let me know. Your the first girl I've ever wanted to be with and if I screwed that up I might as well go dig my grave." Mark sighed deeply and ran a hand over his face. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sporting heavy bags under his eyes. "I don't ever want to be without you. I really do love you Clare. So please, will you not dump me and be with me forever?" Mark then grabbed both of my hands and held them in his. He kissed my knuckles and gave me the cutest puppy dog face I'd ever seen.
Everything I had planned to say to him had ran away from my mind. The only thing that swam around in my mind was, "Yes."