Note: Thank you all for your patience. I know its taking some time for them to get back together, but its the tension and the time that will make it all worth while when it happens. I promise, you'll love it. As always, delicious reviews are welcome

Title: Shattered

Author: Crimson Coin

Rating: M for language and sexual situations

Pairing: Sawyer/Juliet

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or Lost. I make no profit on this story. My ideas are my own.

Summary: Post-Incident. Juliet detonated the bomb in order to save her friends, to save the man she loved. What if the detonation worked and sent everyone back to pivotal points in their lives? Sawyer and Juliet find themselves shattered, broken in the aftermath and without memories of the island. Will they find each other and remember the powerful love that once held them together, or will they wander lost to each other forever?

Note: I have received numerous requests to try my hand at a high rated story, and many reviews from Hydra of people wanting more heat. That is where this story comes in. It is rated M because there will be sex scenes, however, the scenes will not dominate the story. If I'm writing a sex scene, it's not just for smut sake. Just thought I'd give everyone a heads up. As always, I love reviews so send them my way.

Juliet walked down the corridor to her apartment. Expertly dodging a passing couple, she muttered a few choice curses as she opened her purse to search the bag for her keys. She turned the corner; her ankle twisted. Reaching out quickly, she steadied herself against the wall but not before the heel of her pumps broke on one foot. Sighing and shoulders slumped, she looked up at the fluorescent lighting of the hallway shaking her head.

Glancing down, she kicked out of both her heels and crouched down to pick them up. Tucking them under her arm, she continued down the hall and found the keys in her purse. Padding down the hallway, panty hose rubbing the rough carpet, she stopped in front of her apartment door. Using the key, she opened the door and stepped inside.

With a relieved sigh, she closed the door then leaned back against it, eyes closing in a moment of peace. She hung her purse on the closet doorknob then dropped the shoes to the ground, glaring at the one with the broken heel. Walking towards her bedroom, she slowly unbuttoned the form fitting black blouse, shrugging out of it and tossing it into the hamper.

The phone rang.

Muttering to herself, she quickly searched the bedroom for the phone. Pushing aside a pile of papers, she cleared the chair at the small desk and picked the buried cordless phone. She pushed the 'Talk' button and brought the phone to her ear, tucking it between her ear and her shoulder. "Hello."

"Hi, Juliet. What's wrong? You sound upset."

Juliet sighed softly. "Hi, Mom. I'm not upset."

"You sound upset. Don't lie to me. What's going on? I've been calling the last couple of hours and you didn't pick up."

Juliet fiddled with the zipper of her skirt, unclasping the hook then pushing it down. "I was on a date."

A pause.

Juliet smirked and folded the skirt, draping it over a cushioned chair in the corner.

"A date? Well that's wonderful, dear. I'm glad you're finally getting out again. How was it, did you have a nice time?"

"It was alright." Juliet answered, struggling out of the pantyhose.

"Just alright?"

"Well he was very nice. We went out to dinner. It was the first date." She tossed the pantyhose into the laundry basket then walked to her dresser. "But it was alright. I mean he was nice and all."

"What's his name?"


"I'm glad you found a nice man. You deserve to be happy, dear. What does he do?"

She pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top from the drawer. "He's a nautical engineer with the university. I met him at the gym."

"The gym? He's not one of those gym rats is he?"

Juliet chuckled and tugged on her pajama bottoms. "No, he's not a gym rat. Anyway, that was where I was. Why were you trying to call me all night? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to remind you about next weekend."

"I remember, Mom. Christmas dinner two weeks before Christmas."

"It's the only time your cousins could come because they're going out west for Christmas."

Juliet smirked and pulled on her tank top. "I know. It just doesn't feel like Christmas. Do you still want me to bring the shrimp cocktail?"

"Yes, please. Make sure it's big enough for twenty."

"Twenty? That's more than usual."

"It is," the answer cryptic before a pregnant pause extended. "Your father will be there."

Juliet stood in silence before the mirror in her bedroom. She looked at her reflection. "What?"

"I said your father is coming. With Sharon."


"Because I invited him."

Juliet sat heavily on the edge of her bed, eyes on the mirror. Shock and hurt overwhelmed her and she remained silent.

"This year, your father and I began speaking again. In fact, he and Sharon came down and Mac and I had dinner with them." Her mother chuckled softly. "I guess it was a strange double date. Seeing your ex husband with his current wife. Going to dinner with my current husband, seeing my ex. It was all very strange but it was good, I think."

Juliet said nothing.

"He asked about you." Her mother continued. "I tried to convince him to call you two but he didn't think you'd want to hear from him after so long."

Juliet pressed her lips tightly together, biting back the swift retort on her tongue.

"I know this is sudden but I thought it would be nice for Christmas. If the family could be together again. Your father and I … well, I know we never saw him but we still loved each other and he loved you girls, he was just … things were a bit difficult."

"Difficult?" Juliet snapped. "For who? Him? He disappeared and married, had another family. And what about us, hmm? Did he ever thing about us?" She shook her head and held up a hand. "No, no he didn't and don't feed me that when you love someone you're not supposed to be together bullshit."

"Juliet, your language!"

"It is. It's absolute bullshit and you know it." Juliet scoffed and stood, raking her fingers through her hair, trembling slightly as they caught in the sticky product. "You know, listening to that garbage is probably what made me the damn mess I am today. And you know something else, Mom? I hate shrimp cocktail!" She closed her eyes, reaching up to press a hand into her eyes.

"Juliet." Her mother soothed. "Juliet, I know this is all sudden and … are you sure you're alright?" her voice hitched slightly with genuine worry. Juliet never had an outburst like that.

"I've had a rough week." Juliet responded cooly.

"What happened?"

She sighed and lifted her head. "It's not important. I'm fine. I have to get up early tomorrow for work and I still have to call Rachel so she knows I'm alive."

"Alright, sweetheart. Have a good night sleep. I'll call you next week ok? And if you don't want to bring shrimp cocktail, that's alright. Bring any hors-dervours you like."

She nodded, despite knowing the action invisible to her mother. "I'll bring shrimp. And I'm fine. Really. Talk to you later."

"Goodnight, dear."

"Night, Mom." Juliet clicked the phone off and dropped her hand to her side as she sat on the edge of the mattress, staring at her reflection. A moment passed and she groaned, falling back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. Reaching up, she rubbed her forehead again then pinched the bridge of her nose.

Pushing herself off the bed, she walked to the bathroom, intent on a long hot bath. She sloppily tied her hair up, pinning it off her shoulders as she turned on the faucet and added some relaxation oils to the water. The scent soothed her, though she never would have bought the bath oils on her own. Rachel purchased them for her as a divorce present. Juliet smiled.

Divorce present. Only Rachel would think it appropriate to celebrate with champagne and gifts. At the moment, Juliet could not begrudge her sister the gesture. It was the perfect relief.

Waterlogged and fully relaxed, Juliet emerged from the tub. Plucking a plush towel from the nearby rack, she wiped the water from her body then redressed for bed. She opened the door out of the bathroom into her bedroom, a wave of steam following her from one room to the other. She left the bathroom fan on to help suck out some of the steam.

Sighing heavily, she sat on the bed and glanced at the phone. She hesitated a moment, concerned at the late hour and disturbing her sister. Weighing the consequences of calling versus not calling, she picked up the phone and dialed Rachel's number from memory.


Juliet smiled at the familiar voice. "Hey, Rach."

"Hey! I've been waiting for you to get home. How'd it go? Tell me everything. I can't believe you were on a date. You haven't been on a date since before the cockroach."

Juliet chuckled. "I know. It was nice. We went to a nice restaurant downtown. I had a chicken dish and he ordered salmon. We had some stuff in common. Never really had that awkward silence thing."

"Good news. Good news."

"I guess so."

"What do you mean, you guess so. You guess what?"

Juliet sighed. "I don't know. I mean it was nice and all it just wasn't thrilling."

"Thrilling? You want thrilling, go to an amusement park. Bungee jumping. Sky diving. That's thrilling. First dates are never thrilling. They're usually awkward, kind of weird, uncomfortable and then the next day you compare it to every other uncomfortable experience. If it's worse than an enema, then I wouldn't go on a second date. If it's on par with the cramps before your period, then it's worth a second shot."

Juliet laughed.

"So on a scale of enema to period to girl's night out. Where was he?"

"Oh God," Juliet rolled her eyes. "I don't know. You can't be serious."

"Totally serious."

"I don't know maybe … well I guess somewhere between period to dealing with the holiday rush at the mall."

"Ok, this is good. It means it was a good first date."

Juliet laughed again, shaking her head. "So I should go out with him again."

"Of course you should. Is he cute?"

"You know, looks aren't everything."

"Oh shut up, of course looks matter. And hell, you lived by that whole looks don't matter crap and look what it got you. The Tuna. No that's an insult to tuna. I like tuna. Anyway, and from what you tell me of Vegas man, he was hot. And that was a good time. So just give in a little and admit that looks matter at least somewhat!"

Juliet sighed and resisted the smile pulling at her lips. "Fine, looks matter a little. But a man's personality can always make him more and more attractive."

"Of course."

"So then yes, Rob is cute and he's kind of funny which makes him even cuter."

"And he has a job. And you said he was nice. Christ, he's already stories above your ex-hagfish. Definitely a second date."

She lowered her hand from her head to the bed. "Alright. I'll see him again. But only if he calls me."

"Oh please. I'm sure he'll call you. And if he doesn't, he's a total idiot."


"Anytime. Did Mom call you?"


"What … the fuck."

Juliet chuckled and nodded. "I know. I can't believe it."

"What are you going to do?"

"What choice do I have? We have to be civil at the dinner. But that doesn't mean we have to talk to him."

"I know. It all just sucks though."

"It does. I can't believe it. I mean he has such nerve. What was wrong with us that he didn't want to keep in touch with us? He goes off and gets married then has other kids and now all of a sudden he's reaching out to us? Sorry if I'm not exactly receptive to the whole thing just yet. That doesn't mean I don't know how to act on the day. Just that I'm not happy about it."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. I think we just need time to let this whole thing sink in. Wanna go to a movie tomorrow night?"

Juliet paused then nodded. "Alright. That'll be nice and distracting. Plus we can get you out and about. Now let's see, nothing sappy because it gets you crying."

Rachel chuckled. "That's right. Something action. Like guns and shooting and loud booming surround sound."

Juliet laughed. "Like what?"

"Well I saw the previews for 'Behind Enemy Lines'. That sounds good."

"Sounds like a war movie."


"So, don't you think you should be watching something less violent during your pregnancy?"

"Hey," Rachel huffed. "I don't want to be a bawling mess so Romantic Comedies and Romances are out, and so are dramas. That leaves Comedies and Action movies. Frankly, I'm not in the mood for a comedy. Come on, I want to see this movie."

"Alright, alright. You win. Find the times and let me know."

"Thanks, Jules, you're the best."

"I know."

Rachel chuckled. "You know the old Juliet would have blubbered about that comment and blown it off."

"Good night, Rachel."

"Night, Jules."

Juliet hung up the phone and crawled up the bed, placing the phone back on the receiver on the bed stand. She rolled out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and raked a brush through her hair before returning to the bed. Flicking off the light on the bed stand, she crawled under the covers. Eyes open, Juliet stared at the partially closed door of her closet, mind racing in thought.

She closed her eyes and released a slow steady breath. She focused on her breathing, slow inhales and even slower releases. Her muscles eased into the mattress and she succumbed to the light yet fitful slumber that enveloped her.