This is going to be a collection of five hundred short rants, with ten short rants per chapter, hopefully updating daily!

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT WHEN THEY GO OUT IN PUBLIC THEY HAVE TO WEAR A BRIGHT RED COAT JUST TO BE SEEN BY EVERYBODY ELSE OUTSIDE?"

"WHO IS A MIDGET SO TINY THAT WHEN YOU TAKE ME TO SEE A FLEA CIRCUS YOU HAVE TO PUT A LEASH ON ME TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MIX ME UP WITH THE FLEAS YOU JERK!"

"WHO IS A MICRO-MIDGET SO SMALL THAT HIS POCKET WATCH DOESN'T FIT INTO HIS POCKET; I FIT INTO THE POCKET WATCH?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN ATOMIC SHRIMP SO MICROSCOPIC THAT EVEN FLEAS CRACK ON ABOUT MY HEIGHT?"

"WHO'S SO TINY THAT YOU FIND IT HARD TO HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH YOUR WRENCH AS MY HEAD'S SO TINY YOU CAN'T FIND IT WINRY!"

"WHO IS OF SUCH A SMALL STATURE THAT IF I EVER PUT MY HOOD UP ON MY RED COAT I RESEMBLE A CHIGGER*?"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT IF I STEP FOOT IN A NURSERY THEY'LL SAY I'M TOO SMALL TO BE ENROLLED THERE!"

"WHO'S SO MUCH OF A PIPSQUEAK THAT I TRIP OVER ANTS?"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT THE REASON PEOPLE THINK I DON'T READ A NEWSPAPER IS BECAUSE IT'S BIGGER THAN ME AND WHEN I HOLD IT I SHRINK COMPARED TO IT'S SIZE?"

"WHO'S THE SIZE OF A 5 YEAR OLD SO MUCH THAT PEOPLE THINK THE MY AGE IS GOING DOWN INSTEAD OF UP YOU BASTARD?"

* A chigger is a red bug.

Writing this is really fun XD! Leave your reviews for if you ever want to make a suggestion, like the short rants or if they don't make sense to you.

Fma crusher xx