Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Shonen Jump, Masashi Kishimoto, and others. Not me!
Rating: K+ for some pervyness.
Misc: Sasuke, Hinata, Naruto, and the rest of the gang are all eleven, still in Academy.
Iruka was smiling at them in a way that positively made Sasuke's skin crawl. No—more like his hair itched. He scowled at the Chuunin, wondering what exactly the young teacher was going to torture them with. The man, in vain to be an admirable sensei, had come up with the worst activities Sasuke had ever participated in. He hated participation (groups did nothing to help; they only hindered) and Iruka's projects only made his hatred worse. Sasuke crossed his arms, earning a few squeals from the females behind him. He ignored them.
"Today," Iruka said, looking around, his teeth bared like a shark (Sasuke vaguely wondered when he had switched from dolphin mode to shark), "We'll be starting our Final Project for our Disguise Unit."
A huge groan arose from the class. They just had the Final Test yesterday—couldn't they play? Apparently, the answer was no.
"Now, I want to hear no squeals or groans when I announce the project," Iruka said solemnly. "Got it?"
He sure knew how to build tension, Sasuke thought sourly. Couldn't he just spit it out already?
There was a murmuring around the class. What was this so called project?
Iruka paused for dramatic effect. Then he said happily—"You'll be transforming into a person of the opposite gender in this class and acting as them in front of the class!"
There was a slight pause as the class stopped to register the stupidity of that comment. Then—
"I don't want to transform into a smelly, disgusting, boy!" That was Ino Yamanaka, fanning her blonde hair. "Except for Sasuke-kun, of course!" She winked at him.
Sasuke chose to ignore her.
"Ms. Yamanaka, if you want to keep your average, I don't want to hear something like that again."
Ino looked slightly abashed. "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei."
He took a calming breath, and nodded toward her. All too soon, though, a vein was pulsing dangerously in his forehead again.
The boy in question jerked awake with a snort. "Wha—oh, hey, Iruka-sensei!" He grinned unabashedly at the man, who was glowering at him.
"Pay attention, will you? This counts for ten percent of your grade for the year!"
"Yeah, yeah." Naruto said, looking bored. "I don't care. And why aren't you yelling at him?" He nodded toward Shikamaru Nara, a sleeping, skinny boy with a ponytail. Sasuke didn't particularly mind him, since he was the easygoing type who didn't pry too much.
Iruka sighed. "He's smart enough to listen while he sleeps."
Naruto looked outraged. "What do you mean, he's smart enough—"
"Watch out, Shikamaru!" Iruka yelled above Naruto, looking panicked. "Ino has a pair of scissors and she's going to cut off your hair!"
Shikamaru moved with a speed Sasuke would've deemed impossible, leaping out of his seat and racing into the broom closet two seats away.
Iruka turned back to Naruto.
"See?" The Chuunin said smugly.
Naruto snorted and looked away, but Sasuke noticed he didn't seem to laugh along with the rest of the class when Shikamaru came out of the closet seconds later, suppressing a yawn.
After the class had died down, Iruka was starting to speak again. "So, as I said, this counts for ten percent of your grade, so I expect you all to give your best."
There was some grumbling, but most of the class looked expectantly at Iruka.
He cleared his throat. "Next Friday, you and your partner—Ms. Haruno, yes, I've already picked the partners—quiet down, girls, one of you will get Mr. Uchiha—will present a short one-minute talk in your partner's form about them. You must make it seem convincing."
That was it? Sasuke snorted. This would be a piece of cake. But…he cast a slightly apprehensive look at the gaggle of excited girls behind him. He would have to be put with one of those harpies…hopefully they wouldn't embarrass him too much.
"However…" Iruka said with an evil smile only enhanced by his scar as he waited for the class to quiet. "You and your partner will receive the same grade."
There was another stunned silence.
"So then if the girl acts too girly during her part, points will be taken off from both of us?" Kiba was howling as he slammed his hands on his table.
Sasuke, for once, agreed with him. How was he ever supposed to get a decent grade with one of the harpies acting as him?
The class erupted.
"But—Iruka-sensei, that doesn't make sense—"
"You mean if the boys do stupid things in our bodies, we get the fault too—"
"That isn't fair—"
"I'm going to tell my mom—"
Iruka was breathing heavily, his eyebrow twitching. With a look toward a few members of the class, he took a deep breath.
"Yes, in essence, you are right, Kiba." He said, turning toward the dog-boy. "If your partner fails in some aspect, points will be docked from both of you."
"Let me make myself clear. This project is designed so that both of you will have to work together to figure out how to act as the other, rather than just doing a simple 'henge'. You will be expanding on Ninja Rule 4, work together with your teammates, as well as showing me that your most useful tool, the 'henge', is adequate. So, to put it simply, you will expand on the concept of teamwork while understanding showing me the basics of what you've learned from this unit. Am I understood?"
The class murmured in assent.
"Good. Then we'll start calling the names."
The girls looked hopefully at Sasuke. He scowled back at them. Was there a single girl in here who wasn't crazy?
He glanced over Ami, Sakura, and Ino—no, they were certainly out of their minds. He tried not to flinch as he saw the rest of the drooling girls. Just as he was about to give up, he saw a petite dark-haired girl at the end of the row. She…wasn't staring at him?
Rather, she seemed to be glancing periodically to the back of the class, where all the losers were (Kiba, Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji). Sasuke locked his fingers together. This wouldn't help, of course, in getting him a girl who wasn't a crazy harpy, but it wouldn't hurt either.
Groans and shrieks issued as the partnerships were called. Sasuke waited for his turn patiently. Ino and Sakura were still available and glaring at each other. He idly noticed that the dark-haired girl wasn't called either.
"Group Six is Ino Yamanaka"—Sasuke prayed to Kami—"and Chouji Akimichi."
Sasuke nearly sagged in relief. Ino, however, was looking furious.
"I'm stuck with the fatty? This sucks!"
Chouji, who had been apathetically munching on his chips, suddenly looked more like an enraged bull than a boy. "What do you mean, fatty?"
"Fatty, I meant fatty!"
"Say that again!"
"QUIET!" Iruka bellowed. He took a calming breath as Chouji and Ino continued to glare at each other. "Ino, stop that. Chouji, don't take every insult seriously."
"It's not my fault—"
"It's the truth—"
"STOP!" Iruka roared again. He rubbed his temple. "Your group is final, and that is it."
Ino and Chouji sulked in their chairs. Sasuke, however, couldn't feel more gleeful. Ino was gone! The clingiest and most annoying of the girls was gone! He would've smiled, but he had a reputation to keep.
"Group Seven is Sakura Haruno—Sasuke found himself praying again—and Naruto Uzumaki."
This time Sasuke did sag with relief. The other co-owner of his fan club was gone. He could've grinned.
"Woohoo!" Naruto was jumping excitedly, grinning widely at Sakura. "Sakura-chan, this is the best ever!"
Sakura gave him a very, very, strained smile in front of Iruka. As soon as the teacher turned around, she cracked her knuckles at Naruto, who immediately gulped and sat back down.
Sasuke tapped his fingers on his desk. There were only three other teams to be announced.
"Sasuke-kun, I know we're destined—"
"Shut up, Ayano, you know I'll end up with him—"
"What did you say?"
"You heard me—"
"Group Eight is Hinata Hyuga"—the dark haired girl sat up, and Sasuke noticed she looked despondent, her pale eyes staring at the ground—"and Sasuke Uchiha."
At once, the classroom burst into screams.
"Sasuke-kun should've ended up with me!"
"That's so unfair, she isn't even interested in him—"
Sasuke did smile as he heard the last comment. He couldn't believe his luck today. Perhaps this group project wouldn't be so bad after all.
A few minutes passed before Iruka could calm the girls down. Sasuke noticed Kiba Inuzaka holding his ears and wincing.
"Like I said, these groups are final!" Iruka said, looking at the girls with disapproval. The lot of them pouted and sulked, but said no more.
"Group Nine is Shikamaru Nara and Kiba Inuzaka."
There was another silence. Finally, Sakura Haruno raised her hand.
"Um…sensei, I thought the groups were a boy and a girl?"
Iruka smiled at her. "Since there are four more boys than girls, they'll just have to work that way."
Sakura frowned. "But, that's unfair, sensei, because—"
"Yes, Sakura, I know. So that's why each of these boys will be writing an essay on the physiological and emotional differences between men and women."
Shikamaru and Kiba, who had been looking bored and looking triumphant, respectively, turned pale.
"Sensei…what…" Kiba managed to croak.
"Yes, boys, you heard me." Iruka grinned.
There could be groans and small yips from the back of the classroom that day. For once, Sasuke didn't mind. After all, he had it a lot better than Kiba or Shikamaru. Oh, if only he knew.
A/N: Sasuke may seem slightly OOC. But, you got to keep in mind the fangirls.
You don't have to RE-view, but you can re-VIEW. Say it out loud!