Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. This story is merely my way of saluting her. I do not own any of these characters; I just manipulate their thoughts.
THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN BY JOSEPHINE STONE ON HER WORDPRESS WEBSITE. It is a reworked fan fiction of her story, MISUNDERSTANDING. I just added my own flair. Please read her version and give her a heck of a lot of reviews!
http:/ / hdfanfiction .wordpress .com/2010/06/13/misunderstanding/
A/N: Ahahaha, this is such a silly chapter! I hope you guys don't tear my face off for this one. I just felt like writing this today, so it came out. Please enjoy.
"Damn it, Blaise, I needed that!" Pansy whined as Blaise chucked her charmed lip-gloss across her dorm room.
"How much more pouty do you want your mouth to be?" Blaise asked, watching Pansy storm off to find the discarded makeup.
"More so than it already is," Pansy muttered, now on her hands and knees. "Besides, why do you care?" she asked with a scowl.
"Because," Blaise said sarcastically, "now every guy wants to kiss you instead of me."
Pansy snorted derisively. "The only guy I want a kiss from is absolutely, positively gay," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Ah, well, not everyone can have at Schlongbottom…" Blaise earned a well-aimed sock in his face for that comment. "Ugh, your feet smell like troll," he said in disgust.
"Found it!" Pansy exclaimed, reaching under her bed. "Oh?" She pulled out a vial instead. "Damn it," she muttered, throwing the vial aside as she continued her search.
"What is that?" Blaise asked, walking to her bed and kneeling down beside her.
"This," Blaise remarked, picking up the vial and rolling it against his fingers.
Pansy looked back for a second before returning under her bed. "Oh, that's just –" she stopped suddenly, hitting her head on the bed frame as she tried to sit up. She pulled out, wincing at the pain. Her eyes were wide with shock. "- Polyjuice," she finished slowly, opening her fists to reveal two more vials.
"Potter's Polyjuice Potion!" she exclaimed.
"What? You still have it?"
"I – I had forgotten!"
Blaise's shocked face was quick to turn wicked. He was chortling darkly. "Oh boy, can you imagine the fun we could have with this?"
The Battle had caused extensive damage to the property Hogwarts sat on and to Hogwarts itself. However, the morale of the school had never been brighter. After the destruction, all houses had needed to pull together to help rebuild the school. This started a very jumpy truce between all four houses. The Slytherins were still treated with mild suspicious and enormous disgust, but there were no more hexing on either side. Perhaps the thought that their fellow students could very well have died during the battle helped stave animosity. The distinction between houses seemed irrelevant when the thought of death entered into the equation. The squabbles between Slytherins and Gryffindors were mere wrinkles compared to the Dark Magic and Death Eaters they had encountered. Professor Dumbledore was pleased to see that in the face of adversity, all houses had pulled together. Hence he had dismissed the House Cup for the year, announcing before that all the houses were equally noble and worthy of recognition. There was still months left in school and now there was no more competition on which house beats which since there were no need for points. It was promising to be a very lazy year, and everyone deserved the well-earned rest.
Of course, if Harry and Draco came out, a bloodbath would ensue between Gryffindors and Slytherins… A bloodbath even Lord Voldemort would find hard-pressed to stop.
It was the best kept secret Hogwarts had seen.
And Blaise had a marvelous plan to ruin it – not the relationship; the secret.
"So, Pansy, if you were Harry Potter for an hour, what would you do?"
"Besides snog the fuck out of Draco? I'd probably see how much trouble I could get away with."
Each vial lasted an hour.
One hour was all he needed.
"No running in the hall, Mr. Potter."
"Harry, what the fuck?"
"Ow! Wh – h – Potter?"
"No swearing in the hall, Mr. Potter."
"Harry Potter, you get back here this instant!"
"Wow, Harry, never knew you would be so edgy…"
"No dancing in the ha – wait, what?"
"Was that Potter?"
"What the hell is he doing with that worm?"
"Harry Potter, if you kick me one more time, I swear to god I'm going to strangle you to death!"
"Mr. Potter, blatant disregard for the rules will only – wh – don't you dare blow a raspberry at me!"
"Come back here, you son of a –"
"Harry, are you sick?" Ron asked in concern, walking up to Harry who was trying not to fall asleep while reading his History notes.
"Huh?" Harry jerked awake.
"Are you sick?" Ron asked pointedly.
"Wh – what? Do I look sick?" Harry asked, touching his cheek with the back of his hand. "I – I don't think so."
"So what the hell are you doing?"
Harry almost fell out of his chair at Ron's furious tone. "I – I'm just – I'm just studying," he stammered in confusion.
"Really?" Ron asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, see?" Harry said, waving his hand at the books.
"And I suppose the twenty people who you assaulted in the hall are lying?"
Harry gaped, opening his mouth then closing it when he realized that he had absolutely nothing to say.
"Even the professors are furious."
Harry's eyes widened. "Wh – what?" he gasped.
Ron smacked Harry on the back of his head. "Snap out of it," he muttered, turning on his heel and walking away with purpose.
Harry was left wondering what the hell just happened.
Blaise stretched out languidly on Pansy's bed, eating his chocolate raisins. "So apparently, I can't get away with much even when I'm Potter," he said conversationally.
"Yeah, no kidding. It's the talk of the school. Everyone thinks Potter's gone mental. Great job," Pansy said, her voice dripping with derision.
"Thank you, thank you," Blaise announced, tipping his imaginary cap.
"Actually, I have an enorm –"
"Okay, don't want to hear it," Pansy quickly interrupted.
Blaise chuckled, throwing a handful of raisins at Pansy. "You know what we should do next, don't you?"
"Hey, that was my idea," Pansy muttered.
"Well, now it's mine. It's okay, you can join in."
"Wh – what?"
Draco arrived at breakfast feeling utterly grumpy. He had gotten absolutely no sleep and all he wanted was a hot cup of coffee. He staggered to the Slytherin table, dull-eyed and silent. He fell onto the bench with a sigh, taking a quick sniff of the strong coffee in his mug. He took a long sip, letting his taste buds awaken his body. He glanced up as usual at the Gryffindor table. He frowned when he saw Harry's seat was empty. He dipped his head to the side to talk to Blaise when he realized that Blaise wasn't there. And neither was Pansy. Draco frowned.
"Heard about Potter?" Daphne asked in her usually gossiping tone.
Draco was all ears as he tried not to show his interest.
Theo nodded vigorously. "What do you think is wrong with him?"
"Dunno, I think it's that multiple-personality thing that people develop after stuff happens, you know?"
Now Draco was feeling terrified. "What?" he asked, his voice gruff from sleep.
"Potter was acting like a lunatic yesterday evening," Theo said.
"I don't know, just loopy, you know? Like he was – drunk… or high. Which is really weird," Daphne mused.
"Drunk? H – high?" Draco stammered.
"Yes, my reaction precisely!"
"Wh – where is he?"
"Probably too embarrassed to show his face."
Draco's mind was reeling. But before he could do anything about his thoughts, the Great Hall doors opened with a bang. The students turned as one at the commotion, their eyes wide when they saw Harry Potter standing at the entrance. Whispers and hisses erupted all around. Even the teachers were looking at Harry with suspicion. Harry scanned the room, ignoring the furious glares and confused gapes. He zoomed in on Draco and Draco's heart jumped to his throat. "Fuck," he muttered, as Harry started to stride to the Slytherin table with a resolute face and a determined, yet slightly awkward stride.
Now the hall grew quiet again. The teachers looked at each other with trepidation. Albus Dumbledore seemed to be the only professor who was unfazed at the table. He was eating his pancakes like they were the most heavenly ones he had eaten in his entire life. Draco swallowed his terror as Harry walked up to him, eyes blazing and mouth pursed. The Slytherins had their wands out. At the sight of the wands, the Gryffindors pulled theirs out too, pointing it at the Slytherin table. And there was Dumbledore, mildly sipping his morning tea.
"What?" Draco asked, finally finding his tongue.
"This," Harry replied, grabbing Draco by the tie and lifting him up from the bench. Draco yelped, but it was soon muffled by Harry's crushing mouth. The silence in the hall was deafening. Draco struggled against Harry's grip, trying to unlatch the hand that was in his hair and the other one that was on his tie.
"Let go!" Draco said forcefully against the harsh lips.
"I swear, I'll hex you!"
"No, you won't," Harry breathed, pulling Draco closer to him.
Crabbe and Goyle shot up off of their seat when they saw their precious slave driver being man handled by Harry. "Get off of him," Crabbe grunted, not bothering with wands since he was rubbish at magic.
Harry let go of Draco, eyeing Crabbe with disgust. Harry wrinkled his nose and curled down his lips. "Why?" he asked, his arm snaking around Draco's waist possessively.
Crabbe was struck dumb. Goyle covered for him. "You were kissing him," he said. Meanwhile, Draco was trying to extract himself from Harry's bruising hold.
"What's gotten into you," Draco hissed.
Harry conveintly ignored him, rolling his eyes at Goyle. "So? Want to see me kiss him again?" Before waiting for a conformation, Harry filled Draco's mouth with his own. Draco tasted the faint strawberries and remarkable sweetness in the breath. It was very familiar. But it wasn't Harry.
The students were thoroughly dumbstruck at the show. The wands that were held out were now wavering with confusion.
"What the hell?"
The wands dropped with resounding thuds as the students turned to see Harry's stunned face at the entrance. Now Professor Dumbledore was trying his level best not to smile. The students turned from Harry to Harry. Draco had managed to pull out of from Harry's grasp and stared incredulously at Harry by the door.
Harry at the door stormed into the hall, looking absolutely furious. All Draco could do was stare as he watched the two Harry-s face off with murderous looks on their faces. "What's happening?" he asked pitifully.
"He's not Harry!"
"No, he's not Harry!"
"No, I'm Harry."
"And why the hell were you kissing him?" Harry number two asked, now turning to glare at Draco.
"I – I didn't," Draco said meekly, much to the amazement of the students in the hall. Draco and meek were never allowed in the same sentence.
"He wanted to," Harry number one quickly interjected before Draco could stammer any further.
"Evidently, he didn't."
"What, you think he'd rather kiss you?" Harry number one sneered.
"Yes, he would." Harry number two decided to take matters into his own hands. He wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and kissed him earnestly. Draco sighed in frustration, starting push Harry away. Harry deepened his kiss with an extravagant tilt that bend Draco backwards for all the hall to see.
"Get. Off!" Draco said, pounding at Harry's chest.
"Really, Draco?" Harry breathed.
Harry number one was fuming. "Yes, get off of him. He's mine!" he said.
"No, get off of him!" Crabbe insisted, feeling thoroughly helpless. Harry – or rather, the two Harry-s – weren't behaving like Harry at all. "He doesn't want to kiss either of you."
Harry number two flipped the two-finger salute to Crabbe, his face still devouring Draco's. Harry was rough this time, cocky and demanding. Draco didn't know what Harry wanted from him. This Harry tasted like cinnamon and power. Draco considered kicking Harry in the balls. But before he could move his leg…
"What the hell?"
The students groaned as they saw Harry standing in the door, looking pale. Professor Dumbledore had his fist pressed against his lips by this time. Draco opened his eyes and saw Harry's upside down figure by the door and cursed into Harry's lips. "What the fuck?" he muttered.
Harry number two let go of Draco, who would have fallen onto the table had it not been for Harry number one's quick thinking.
"Who – wh – you – I –" Harry at the door stammered.
"Spit it out," Harry number two said.
"You?" Harry at the door said incredulously. "What are you doing?"
"Kissing Malfoy," Harry number two said, rolling his eyes.
"Why are you kissing – what did you – Malfoy, what the hell?" Harry number three asked, his pale face reddening considerably. He stormed towards the Slytherin table, causing Draco to throw his hands up in defeat.
"Who are you?" Harry number one asked.
"Wh – I'm Harry!" Harry number three said.
"No, I'm Harry," Harry number two remarked.
"Shut it. You can't be Harry because I'm Harry," Harry number one huffed.
"Malfoy, I –"
"No, don't listen to him, Malfoy!"
"No, don't listen to him, Malfoy!"
"You believe me, Draco?"
"No, Draco, why the hell would you believe him?"
"Why the hell would you believe him?"
"Because he's –"
"You're such a –"
"Why, I ought to –"
"Oh my gosh, shut up," Draco said tiredly.
The Harry-s scowled at Draco. "No," they said in unison, then started eyeing each other with dismay.
"I said no first."
"Seriously, you're making that shoddy argument?"
"What? I said no first, not you!"
"Why the hell were you kissing him?"
"Why the hell were you kissing him?"
"Why the hell aren't you kissing him?"
"Please, stop talking…"
"You shut up."
"No, you shut up."
"This is so embarrassing!"
"Oh yeah, you're the one making it embarrassing."
"This is not helping…"
Draco made a growl of defeat. He grabbed Harry number three by the tie and pulled him close. Harry yelped, connecting his foot with Draco's shin. Draco let go with a hiss of pain, causing Harry to stagger back.
"Sorry," Harry number three said impulsively before frowning in confusion. "Wait, no I'm not!" he exclaimed. "You were going to punch me!"
"No, I wasn't," Draco muttered, turning to scowl at the two other Harry-s who were looking thoroughly dejected. Their plan didn't exactly pan out as they'd hoped. Harry and Draco were supposed to be on the floor having a snog fest. Instead, they were both looking incredibly angry and not the least bit interested in kissing. "Blaise, I'm going to murder you in your sleep…"
Harry number two looked startled in mock fright. "It was her idea," he said, his face the picture of innocence.
Harry number one gasped in indignation, stomping on Harry number two's foot with his heel. "How rude!"
"P – Pansy?" Draco asked, rubbing his temple with his fingers. "Polyjuice?"
"Polyjuice…" Harry number three echoed. "Pol – wait, that was you?" he asked, stunned.
"Why the fuck did you kiss me?" Draco asked in disgust, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
"We didn't. Potter did," Harry number two explained patiently.
"Ugh," Draco shuddered.
"What? You don't mind it when Potter kisses you."
That drew such loud gasps from the previously silent students that it sounded like the Great Hall was going to empty of air in that moment. Harry and Draco felt blushes of mortification creeping into their cheeks as they stared at Harry number two.
"I never –"
"We haven't –"
Harry number two rolled his eyes. "Oh, for Merlin's sake, shut up. I heard you two moaning and grun –"
Harry number three interjected with an ungodly sound that erupted from the back of his throat. And he had somehow wandlessly managed to silence Harry number two. Harry number two realized that his voice was no longer being projected proudly across the room and he scowled, starting to shout silently. When he realized that wasn't working either, he frowned in contempt, looking at Harry number one to continue.
"We all know what he meant to say," Harry number one deadpanned.
Draco let out a stifled moan, squeezing his eyes shut. The Great Hall groaned with him. Harry number three just continued to stare at number one, hoping to Merlin that this was just a very bad nightmare.
"Potter, you're gay?" Theo asked in disbelief.
Draco pursed his lips, turning to face Theo and consequently the entire hall. "Only for me," he said tersely. Harry visibly slumped at this, covering his face in his hands. Draco suddenly realized what he had said and turned paler than a ghost. He felt the hundreds of pairs of eyes boring into him. He gulped, quickly turning away to face Harry.
"You turned Potter gay?" Theo asked nervously.
Harry made a noise of frustration, dropping his hands and scowling at Theo. "Yes, he did. You got a problem with that?"
Theo backed up on his seat, holding his hands up in surrender. "No, no problem at all," he said quickly.
"Good. Anyone else got a problem with that?" Harry asked sarcastically.
Draco guffawed when hands shot up around the four tables. It seemed even Professor Snape was tempted to raise his hands. Draco shook his head in defeat. "Well, too bad," he drawled, pulling Harry by the hand towards him and kissing him square in the mouth. Harry tensed at the sudden yank but melted under Draco's touch, as always. It was an innocent kiss, none of the extravagance Harry number one or two had used. It was a Harry kiss. It tasted of honey and love. Draco smiled and Harry smiled with him.
"What just happened?" Harry murmured into Draco's lips.
"We just came out…"
"Holy hell!" Ginny exclaimed. That was enough to get Professor Dumbledore to burst out into teary laughs. Hermione and Ron joined him quickly. The other Gryffindors looked none too pleased and the Slytherins looked like they were planning on murdering both Harry and Draco in one go. The Hufflepuffs laughed with the Headmaster and the Ravenclaws smiled politely. This had been the most tumultuous breakfast in the history of Hogwarts.
"Love you," Draco whispered, pulling away from Harry slowly.
"You love him?" Daphne shrieked.
"What?" the Slytherins and Gryffindors exclaimed in unison. Crabbe and Goyle looked like they were about to faint any moment now.
Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Why is this all so hard to believe?" he muttered to Draco.
"Because you are the Boy-Who-Lived and I am a Death Eater. It's blasphemous, Harry Potter. And I love it."
"I love you too."
Crabbe and Goyle fainted.
A/N: For all you peeps completely dissatisfied with me, never fear. I'll have a 'real' ending for this story. Just don't know when. This should suffice for the present, right? Right. I did say it was rather silly…