EXTRA - Demon!
For the first time in his life, Edward believed he met a true, corrupting monster.
Harry had spent a long time convincing the vampire that Edward wasn't a monster, not that he minded. (Honestly, as soon as Harry had put on that suit and demanded to be called Professor Potter, Edward's mind had reduced to a puddle of goo and he was ready to be collared if Harry so wished it. Needless to say, Edward needed to be thoroughly convinced. Their broken headboard was proof of that.) Still, it hadn't taken long for his beloved to convince him that he would never be a monster in the raven's beautiful emerald eyes.
That being said, Edward stared at the tiny bundle with cautious, knowing eyes. Harry, Isabella, Jacob, and pretty much everyone he associated with assured him that the bundle was, indeed, a harmless baby. He wasn't fooled, though. He knew without a doubt that the tiny creature in front of him wasn't a baby but was, in fact, a manipulative evil demon straight from the pit of Hell.
Edward glared as the baby giggled, half expecting fire to come out of it's mouth. He silently cursed his bad luck. If only Harry hadn't given him the irresistible puppy eyes and a promise involving his sexy mate, a skirt, and a pair of furry handcuffs, Edward would be as far away from the demon as possible. It looked at him with its small, brown eyes that Edward knew were part of it's disguise. It wanted everyone to think there was nothing wrong with it, but Edward knew the truth.
"Alright, brat, it's just us here," Edward told it sternly, glaring at it. "You can fool everyone, but you won't fool me. Now, hand over my cell phone, and I won't give you back to your mutt of a father in little pieces."
The Demon giggled again, clenching Edward's cell phone tightly in it's hands with an evil glint in it's eyes. The vampire watched impatiently as the Demon made to give him back his phone. He slowly extended his hand, trying to convince the Demon to return him his property. It was within his reach when the Demon coughed before spitting up putrid, white liquid on his phone.
"NO!" he shrieked, snatching the phone out of the Demon's hands, grimacing at the vile stench and proceeding to clean it with the Demon's bib.
Surprised at the sudden movement, the Demon began to wail. Edward glared at it. "I should be the one crying right now," he grumbled, poking it's belly in an attempt to shut it up.
The Demon paused in it's crying, stared at the offensive finger, before opening it's mouth and screaming louder than before. Edward hissed and clutched his ears, his eyes frantically searching for God's gift to Demon sitters-a pacifier. He saw the offensively Pepto Bismol pink item and without a moment's hesitation gave it to the Demon.
The Demon seemed to be placated for a moment, rubbing its eyes sleepily. It blinked for a few moments before it's face seemed to scrunch in concentration. The Demon's eyes watered and it's face began to turn red. Edward watched in horrid fascination as a horrible sound reached his ears followed by a nauseating stench.
"UGH! Dear God, it's like mustard gas!" he cried, slapping his hand over his mouth and nose in an effort to save himself. The stench seemed to have messed with his brain, because he could've sworn his perfect vampiric vision became disoriented for a few moments.
When he focused on the Demon once more, his glare quickly evolved into a look of surprise. The Demon was gone. But where did it...?
He heard a giggle and a loud crash in the kitchen. Without a moment's hesitation, Edward ran towards the Demon and blinked in astonishment. It had managed to climb onto the kitchen table and push off the bowl of plastic fruit Esme had placed.
"How did you...?" Edward shook his head, glaring at the demon. "Get over here. Let's get rid of that weapon in your diaper before you poison the air."
The Demon had the audacity to giggle.
He picked it up carefully, carrying it at arm's length all the way to the living room where its bag of disinfectants were. Edward had the human urge to gag as he changed the diaper. Thinking quickly, he retrieved the holy water Emmett had given him as a gag gift. He sprinkled some of the water on the baby, hissing, "Begone!"
It was then, of course, that Harry walked through the door. He took one look at his mate, the bottle of holy water, and his goddaughter, and his happy demeanor immediately frosted over.
"What are you doing?" Harry demanded, snatching his goddaughter away from Edward and checking her over. "I leave you for ten minutes and...were you seriously sprinkling holy water on her?"
Edward paled at the anger in Harry's voice. He hurried to explain himself. "I was just...you see, what happened was...what I mean to say is...the thing is...she's a demon!"
Harry didn't look impressed. "You're over a century old, and you say an innocent baby...is a demon?"
Edward swallowed thickly. "B-but..."
Harry sighed and arranged his goddaughter so that her head was on his shoulder. "You're not getting anything from me."
"No!" Edward protested. "She's evil, Harry!"
Harry walked away, shaking his head.
Edward pouted, resisting the urge to stomp his feet. Elizabeth Black lifted her head and caught Edward's eyes. Then a tiny smirk danced across her face and she winked.
Edward gaped in disbelief before he let out a growl and stormed out of the house.