I don't own any of the characters everything belongs to dick wolf
Hi, every one this is my first story so don't hesitate to review and give me advice remember Im french and even if I live in london my english isn't fluent yet...
This scene takes place after the episode ghost trial in the safe house
-"So what are you gonna do now" ?Liv asked with a bit of a butterfly in her belly she didn't know what to expect but she sure knew what she wanted her to reply
"Well I don't know I guess going back to the program is the smartest thing to do"
At that precise moment it was like Liv's heart just broke into pieces she tried her best to hold her tears : That 's exactly what she had feared she just got her back and she was about to loose her again,
Liv didn't have the time to finish her sentence cause her phone rang...
"Benson, ...ok I see"
"What is it?tell me.."Alex could see on Liv's face that something happened, something terrible
"He was found dead in his cell about an hour ago...Do you realize what that means?...As she was saying these words her heart filled up with hope again, hope but fear also cause what she felt was unusual because she s been single for so long and also so unnatural because she s never had feeling for a woman before..
"Yes I know.."As she realized she was finally free as she knew that all his gang was dead , she felt like the floor was jus breaking under her feet, she couldn't feel her legs, she couldn't stand up anymore...
"Alex are you ok"Liv said as she was literally falling in her arms...
"My mom died when I was in the program I couldn't even go to the funeral and now it's all over"as she said those word her eyes started to be filled up with tears
"I know sweetie everything is gonna be ok, Im here with you and I'm not going anywhere, you can let it go now..."
Liv was holding Alex in her arms they were both on the floor...They stayed like this for a while...And for Liv it felt like eternity, having Alex in her arms, comfort her she felt like it was everything she has ever wanted...And that was hard to accept for her I cause for the past 3 years she''s been thinking about Alex and knowing that she was alive but away from her was in some ways worse then if she was dead...She was scared by the way she felt about alex , she always saw herself as a very straight woman , unlucky one but she always put that on the fact that she was married to the job...It felt so scary for her but yet so natural to have Alex in her arms like that...All she wanted was to protect her against every bad guys in this world ,to keep her from suffering again, to make her feel safe again...
"Let's put you to bed you need to rest we'll see what we can do tomorrow"
"Can you stay with me Liv please?
"Of course, I told you Im not going anywhere"
As she helped Alex to stand up she could feel all the pain she was feeling but at the same time she felt all the relief...
"Hey I promise you now you're safe I wont let anything happen to you again"She whispered at Alex ears trying to whippe away her tears..
Alex has never felt this safe but also so vulnerable in her life...She's always been the strong time people saw her as the strong ADA who kicked asses in court but the last past few years she felt like she lost the power the control over her life ..But tonight she felt like she could have all that back have her life back and it was scary...But being in Liv arms felt so natural to her like if her place was right here no where else with no one else..
Of course she missed the whole team but the one she missed more was definitely Liv...She would sit on her porche imagining what she was doing if she was thinking about only for a few minutes here and there she would let herself dream about being with her smelling her perfume...Only for a few minutes before waking up and going back to reality...But right now it wasn't a dream it was true...Alex was troubled by her mix feelings she felt so lost but at the same time she felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be...
"Are you comfortable do you need any other blanket or anything to make you feel more comfortable?"
"well you could climb in bed with me and hold me again..If you don't mind"
"Of course not Alex"
As she was lying on that bed with Alex in her arms trembling after crying for so long and so hard...She wished this night would never end..Because for her that was the perfect moment with Alex, the one she s been hoping for...
No one was here just the 2 of them alone and vulnerable but yet stronger to be with each other..Liv knew that everything would be different the next morning because first she didn't know if alex was coming back or not and right now she didn't care she just wanted to enjoy this pure moment...Second she knew that as soon as they e would go back to reality she'd have to face her feelings for Alex...
The next morning Liv' phone rang
"El it's you well she feels alright I guess she needs time to process and adjust...She's still sleeping"
"Is she coming back?"
"I don't know we haven't talked about it"
"You sound tired have you slept last night?"
"Do you want me to take over"
"No Im fine Id rather stay with her.."
"ok I'll take care of the investigation about his death don't worry:
"You're welcome Liv anytime!"
A few minutes later Alex finally woke up awaken the smell of the coffee Liv has just brought...
"Hey sleeping beauty you're up..."The second she said that sentence she thought "Way to go Liv you're so dumb.
"Yeah Im sorry about last night I just lost it..."
"You don't have to apologize for anything, I totally understand...Coffee?"
"Yes thanx...I hope I wasn't to much trouble last nice I mean I know I move a lot during during the night...Probably because of being single for so long..
"No don't worry actually you didn't move at all..."
Alex thought "My god she probably stayed up all night looking after me..."
At the same time Liv tohught "Damn it Liv now she's gonna think you stayed up watching her sleep"
"Oh ok great...By the way have you heard about the guy who killed him?"
"Not yet but El is looking for him not that she really wants to but a murder is a murder..."
"Ok then..thank you"
Both of them wanted to talk about the burning subject: Was she gonna stay here or was she going back to the program?
Liv was so afraid of loosing her again that she preferred not to talk about it and Alex was afraid about talking about it because of the way she felt about Liv so didn't know how to bring the subject...She was scared Liv would reject her or that she wouldn't feel the same and as tact as never been her best quality:
"So do you want me to stay?"
As soon as she heard those word Liv's heart just stop beating and then when she tried to find the most appropriate answer her heart just started beating faster and faster..
"Well do you want to stay?"
"Answering a question by another question, very smart detective..."
Liv didn't' know what to say she wasn't ready to tell Alex what she really wanted , well to be honest she didn't know exactly what she wanted precisely. she needed time to think about her feelings and what she wanted from alex...So she decided to stay quite neutral no feeling should appear..
"Well, of course We'd all loved to see you come back we love Casey but you are the best ADA we ever"
That's not the answer she was expecting, she was looking for a hint to see if Liv felt the same way she did or think she did
When she saw the deception on her face she wanted to say something but not too much not until she figured out what she was exactly feeling...but she didn't want to hurt Alex...
"Oh Alex please don't look so sad...I mean Of course I want you back, more then anything but I don't want to pressure you into coming back if you don't want you or if you don't feel ready for it,
"I want to come back but I guess Im scared I turned into a victim..."
"Alex you listen to me carefully"She said holding her hands..."You're not a victim you're the strongest woman I've ever met In my entire life you've got so much passion, so much compassion when you talk to victim, believe it when I say that in my book Alexandra Cabot is everything but a victim
"Thanx Liv..I guess I need time to readjust…Will you be there to help me?"
"Of course I ll be there all the way I told you Im here for you and Im not going anywhere..."
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