"Hi! I'm Dora the Explorer! This is my friend Boots the Monkey! I don't know why he's in boots, he just is!" The little, fat, Mexican girl's enormous head tilted slightly as she spoke. "Today, we're going to get to Grandma's House... AGAIN! Let's talk to the Map! Everyone! Call the map!"

A whole bunch of voices started shouting the word 'Map' until you wanted the cry. At long last, this apparently half-deaf, talking map from Hell flew out of her freakish backpack and started rambling on about how amazing it was. It than spent about five minutes explaining how they would first have to cross over some stupid bridge, than go through some lame forest and finally reach Grandma's house.

The map rolled itself back up and went back into the backpack, apparently done preaching about itself.

"What did the map say?" Hell's Hispanic asked. "That's wonderful!" She said after a few seconds. "Vomenos!" She shouted. She than began singing some freakish song about herself and her adventures.

Silently, Rikimaru watched her, his eyes narrowing. He would catch her, but he had to wait until the moment was right.

Rikimaru crept along the path, avoiding being seen. It wasn't long before he came upon a depressed looking fox.

"What the?-" Rikimaru was clearly confused by the mysterious fox. "Who are you?"

"I'm swiper. I'm always trying to steal people's crap, but that little rat known as Dora always tells me 'Swiper! No swiping!'."


"I can't steal something if they tell me that!" Swiper seemed offended.

"Why not?"

"Because... Well... I'm not really quite sure..."

Rikimaru rolled his eyes and decided that he was sick of the fox's nasally voice. In one quick, fluid motion, the Azuma ninja pulled out his Ninjato and stabbed it through the fox's heart, instantly killing him. Rikimaru dragged the body into the bushes and continued on down the path, hoping he didn't fall too far behind the watermelon headed girl.

Rikimaru came to a stop. He could see Dora from where he stood. She was walked up to a blue bull and waved.

"Hola, Benny the bull!" She waved.

"Hola, Dora!" He waved back.

My God, Rikimaru thought to himself, is there anything in this place that doesn't talk?

Dora smiled at Benny the Bull. "Di algunos medicamentos weren't los grandes resoplidos estabamos el otro dia?" She asked.

"¡Ellos seguro estaban! No puedo espera para drogarse otra vez!"

They both began laughing and Dora waved goodbye and left. She looked at the camera. "Aren't you so glad you're learning all this Spanish with us?" She waited a few seconds, her ginormous eyes blinking. "I'm glad too!"

Rikimaru came out of the bushes and grabbed Benny, his Ninjato pressed against his throat.

"You were conspiring about something! What was it?" Rikimaru demanded.

"It was nothing! I swear!"

"Liar!" Rikimaru swiped – he now hated that word – his Ninjato across the bull's neck, instantly killing him.

Rikimaru watched silently as Dora entered Grandma's house.

"Hola! Grandma!" She said so cheerfully it was disturbing.

"Uh... Hi..." Ayame said, expecting Dora to panic when she saw her.

"My, Grandma, what scanty clothes you have on!" Dora smiled.


"My, Gandma, what dark hair you have!" Dora said, still smiling.

"Uh..." Ayame was at a loss for words.

"My Grandma, what strange looking swords you have strapped to your back."

That set Ayame off. "They're not swords, fool! They're Ninjato!" With that, she pulled them out and lunged at Dora.

Said girl simply turned around and began skipping out of the house. "Catch me, Grandma!"

"I'm not your Grandma!" Ayame stole a glance over at the side of the house. Rikimaru had just dispatched Boots.

"Weeee!" Dora said as she pranced around. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant meteorite came crashing down, slamming into the exact place where Dora was standing, creating a loud thud when it landed.

"That was unexpected..." Ayame observed.

"No time for that!" Rikimaru said. "We've just received word of a monstrous dinosaur that's brain washing children! His name is Barney."


Okay, so that was weird. I also wrote another story called Tenchutubbies, so feel free to also go and read that. I apologize if I offended any Hispanics that have read this, I'm mocking Dora, not you, I swear. You have an ancient culture and great food. I love you guys :) So please don't sue me.