This is a one shot.
I repeat: This is a one shot.
Okay, now that that is settled.
This was a one shot written for the amazing girlies over at The Twinklings for their Fuck Me Fridays. Please go check them out, there is all kinds of NSFW fun over there!
http:/ www. thetwinklings. blogspot. com/
And super sloppy kisses and hugs and polar bear pets to Monika who beta'd this beast at the last minute for me...and then asked for a followed up. *glares*
"Uhm…ew? What the hell is on your face?"
I contemplated shutting the front door as soon as I opened it. I could had the urge to stomp back up the stairs to my bedroom, put my ear buds back in, and stare at the lilac painted walls listening to Jack White and his harmonic mic brilliance. It was a much more desirable alternative. I was in no mood for company. Especially not the snotty, high-pitched company of Jessica Stanley, who, after I hadn't seen her in ten months, greeted me like that.
My features must have reflected my dark thoughts. Immediately, Jess switched gears.
"I mean… hi Bella. How are you? You look great, ya know, except for the goo on your face. Can I come in?" She didn't wait for a reply. Instead, she ducked under my arm that was extended against the door jamb and slipped inside the house.
"First of all, I'm great. I love spending my summers in BFE Forks," I began with an acidic tone. "Secondly, you try bouncing from one of the driest climates in the continental US to one of the wettest and see if it doesn't wreak havoc with your skin. This is a toning masque so shove it."
Before I closed the front door, I peeked out to look up and down the streets. They were empty. I scowled and turned back to Jess who had made herself comfortable on my dad's favourite chair. "I thought Ang was coming with you?"
"Oh, she said she would meet us up there in an hour. She had to do something for her mom. Whatever, who knows. So can you please wash that crap off your face and change so we can go before all the good spots on the beach are taken."
I rolled my eyes and checked the timer on my cell. I still had another eight minutes. She was going to have to relax. I flopped down on the couch and stretched my feet out, yawning.
"Jessica?" I groaned, my body shuddering lightly from the stretch. My feet were balanced at the other end of the couch. I wiggled my Onyx toes and pouted at the idea of them in the rough, pebble-filled sand, chipping and dulling instantly.
"Yes, Bella?" She didn't look up from whoever she was texting.
"You do realize that sixty degree weather, freezing cold ocean water, and the wind blowing the half-sand-half-dirt in your face really doesn't constitute a very good beach experience for most people, right?"
I hated the beaches in Clallam County, especially after living in sunny, beautiful, perfect Arizona for the better part of the last ten years. But summers in Forks were court-mandated. It wasn't that I didn't love my dad or enjoy spending time with him, I just wished I didn't have to do it in crummy Forks. Sometimes he agreed and took time off work to go RV'ing with me, or stay somewhere fun like Orlando. No such luck this summer. Forks. Yay.
"Don't be like that. What else is there to do around here? Please go change so we can go. I told Mike we would be there by now," Jess whined, standing up and pulling on my limp arm.
"Alright, alright." I stood and stalked off toward the stairs. Jessica was inches behind me. "So you and Mike still, huh?"
"Yeah," her voice had drifted into that distant, dreamy state. I knew from experience that she would ramble for the next half hour. I would barely have to pay attention, buying myself some time.
While she yammered through the bathroom door, I cleaned up and reappeared, goo-free. I rifled through the duffle bag I had yet to unpack since I landed the day before, looking for the matching bottoms to the bikini top I was already wearing. I located the little white thing with yellow and pink swirly patterns and pulled it out, along with a pair of cut-off denim shorts.
Jessica described in painful detail everything about junior prom while I yanked my sweatpants and underwear down to step into the bathing suit. It was way tinier and girlier than anything I would ever pick out. My mom had bought it for me, and it was the only one I could find in my bedroom before I left Phoenix.
Jess literally stopped talking and gave me a wide-eyed, high-browed stare as I shimmied the suit up over my hips.
"What?" My eyes rolled into the back of my skull. It was rhetorical. I knew what.
I went to the spa with my mom just before I came. She wanted some girly bonding time before I left. I didn't put up a fight. It was my going away gift to her. Hence the toes, which admittedly, looked nice. Also, hence the Stanley-stare.
"See something you like, Jess?" I provoked.
"What? No!" She shook her head, snapping herself out of it. "I just…hey, whatever works for Arizona boys." She shrugged and went back to giving me a full break down of what everyone wore to prom. She knew I had no idea who half of the names were that she rattled off, even if at one point a trillion years ago I did. I had forgotten all but the few people I cared to socialize with for two months out of the year.
I pulled on the denim shorts, flipping up the frayed ends making them impossibly shorter, pulled on a grey wife-beater, and slid my feet into a pair of charcoal grey Havaianas. I grabbed a hair tie from off the nightstand and slipped it over my wrist in case it was windy at the beach, which it would be.
I paused after Jess bounced through my doorway to turn and examine my ass in the mirror on the other side of the room. The rhinestone embellishment on the pockets of my shorts sparkled back at me, but other than that, I was annoyed at how scrawny I was. I literally had no ass to speak of.
Jess poked her head back in my room. She knew exactly what I was doing, muttering something about lunges, and then pulled me from the room. My face heated at being caught checking myself out.
Thirty minutes later, we had a row of beach towels spread out on a cluster of large, flat rocks, and had officially staked our claim. Forks High School had just released their students for summer vacation the day before, though I had already been out for two weeks. The first day at the beach was like picking your seat in a classroom on the first day of school. It essentially became yours for the season and no one dared to shuffle places–wwwwwwwwwhich explained Jessica's annoying need to get there at nine AM despite the clouds and breeze.
Apparently, we lucked out and had claimed prime locations. Just to the right of the bluff, kids far more daring than me, were already cliff diving. We were just a few feet from the mouth of the driftwood stairs that lead down to the small patch of sand-like substance and water.
Jessica was busy further christening our summer residence with a heavy make-out session with Mike. They were beginning to drift toward my towel. I made a mental note to sanitize it daily when I got home, and tried not to dry heave.
It's going to be a long summer.
After nine days of the same rock, the same disgusting PDA, and the same kids, I was just about to offer myself up to go fishing with Charlie just to escape the mundane crap. I was all for lazy summer days, but the rest of it was wearing on me. I craved the creosote in the air and sight of rolling brown on the horizon. At night, I longed for sounds of life outside the four walls of my home–rrowdy teens, BBQ'ing housewives, cars and horns and noise.
Forks was so quiet it was unsettling. And it was too green, almost unnaturally, ironically enough. There was no life whatsoever outside the prison of Charlie's house. Every day was identical. The gossip was repetitive, the sky was always the same grey haze, the pebbly shit they called sand was always sharp under my soft feet, and the same songs blasted every day from the same car's crappy speakers as they cruised the beach roads scoping out the girls. It was becoming mind-numbing.
I could slowly sense myself shutting down. My old friends didn't get my sarcasm, nor did they appreciate my disinterest in boring small-town gossip. So I coasted on autopilot. Fine. Whatever. I could coast for another two months. I may even get a tan, which on any other kid would be still considered pasty.
I grumbled under my breath as we climbed out of the car.
"Huh?" Ang asked, rounding the corner to come join me in ignoring the tongue-wrestling between Mike and Jess. I rolled my eyes at her and she made a gagging motion with her finger. I giggled, causing Jess to break free and look up.
"What?" she sneered over her shoulder.
"Oh, nothing. Bella just tripped," Ang offered.
Satisfied, Jess and Mike slithered up the hill all over each other. They deserved one another…and that wasn't a compliment.
"Thanks, jerk," I joked, shoving Ang lightly in the shoulder.
"Please, like that isn't realistic." She laughed as she pushed me forward to climb the sand dune to our spot.
A few steps later, I heard stifled giggling behind me when I actually did lose my footing and stumble.
"Oh, fuck you." I spun around and shoved her until her ass was in the sand like mine had just been. She retaliated and we play-fought as we climbed to the top.
Then something hit me like a friggin' asteroid in the head.
Something was different. I could sense it immediately. The chatter atop the dune was more hushed but busier, and there was the distinct smell of cigarette smoke in the air. The beaches were technically "no-smoking" beaches, and while it wasn't strictly enforced by, well, my father, most of the kids in the small town didn't smoke anyway.
My eyes were drawn to the far end of the dune. There was a pile of driftwood twisted together creating natural benches and tables. It was too far from the epicentre of the crowd, so no one ever sat there. Ever. But today some one was there. Not just someone...several someones. And all the eyes down below seemed to be glued to the small group as everyone whispered about the interlopers.
My skin tingled. I grabbed Angela's arm just as she was laying out our towels, completely oblivious. "Hey, who is that?" I whispered, feeling horrible for joining the low ranks of the gossipers around me.
Ang wasn't much for gossip. She listened but rarely contributed. She hadn't even noticed the cluster of people at the driftwood. She followed my gaze and hummed in understanding.
"That?" Ang she asked restraining a smirk. "You mean they?"
"Huh?" was the only inarticulate noise I could generate. I heard her making sounds in what was probably the English language, but my brain was entirely trapped. It was frozen and mesmerized.
No…I fucking mean that. Him.
He sat on a piece of driftwood in blue and orange patterned board shorts with no shirt. He had a black leather cuff around his wrist and was barefoot. He was talking, but to whom, I had no idea. The air around him was blurred in my minds eye. He was the only thing in focus.
His hand came up to run through his hair. It was wet as if he had actually braved the frigid Washington Pacific–which in and of itself was impressive. His fingers were long. Like graceful and magical long. He was in profile, but I saw the apple of his cheek lift in smile. Something inside me grew and then ricocheted in a single second. I needed to see that smile full on. I needed to know what it looked like so I had something to dream about later.
He brought a cigarette to his lips, and they wrapped around it in a pout that made parts of me that I had been previously unaware of tremble. Smoking was disgusting. It was stupid and wrong and at this current location...it was illegal. But the way that boy smoked was much more. It was sinful. And delicious. It almost made me want to try it. Or be that cigarette.
I swallowed audibly, struggling with the simple motion. I felt dizzy and disoriented as if I had just climbed off the Tilt-a-Whirl at Crackerjax back home. I hated that stupid ride. I didn't like feeling out of control, but I found myself freely surrendering this time.
I might have moaned under my breath. My chest heaved under the pressure. Someone near me cleared their throat dramatically.
Something blocked my line of sight from the boy, and I was forced to blink stupidly a few times, sending everything back into motion around me.
I realised Ang was waving her hand in front of my face. I felt the red shoot across my cheeks and crawl up my neck, spreading over every inch of my pale body.
"Shit," I mutter.
Angela giggled while I looked around from blanket to blanket with wild eyes.
"Relax, I think I was the only witness to whatever-the-fuck that just was," she whispered.
We sat and, like a true born Forks girl, I drilled the shit out of her.
"Who?" The word trembled on my lips.
"The Cullens. I don't know much about them…no one does. Their dad is the new Chief at the Hospital. They just moved here from Alaska like a month ago, which basically meant they wrote off any school work since class was just about out. So not fair. Not that it would have mattered. I had them in a few classes. They are all ridiculously smart."
She continued and I absorbed everything I could about him like it was my job. I contemplated taking notes on the notepad of my cell phone, but figured I had already made enough of an ass of myself.
She pointed out which ones were the Cullens: Alice, Emmett and the boy with the pouty lips and sex-god fingers who was named Edward. It appeared they had visitors, whom Ang had never seen before. There were three girls surrounding them, doting on them, and laughing obnoxiously. A tall strawberry-blonde pressed her hand to finger-god's chest and I had to remind myself it was not socially acceptable to stomp over there and beat her skull in with a rock.
Was that level of possession over a boy that I had only known existed for all of twenty-two minutes normal? I shrugged internally. Fuck it. He was beautiful and I was drawn to him in a way I could not wrap my buzzing brain around.
I snuck as many glances as I could that day. I studied him. I swallowed back the drool that pooled in my mouth as I thought about the way his lips moved when he spoke and puckered around his water bottle. I wished we were closer so I could hear his laugh every time he rolled his eyes and shook his head, his shoulders and back rippling.
I was later torn from the beach begrudgingly and I sulked home. I fixed a lasagne for myself and Charlie without ever once seeing the ingredients in front of me. All I saw were dark eyes, pouty pink lips, and the tongue that darted out to wet them every so often. I saw long fingers and wet brown hair.
I went to bed equal parts frustrated and excited.
That was the first night I dreamt of the finger-god who was apparently named, Edward Cullen.
If I thought I was frustrated when I went to bed, by the time I woke up, something inside me was rioting. It was like a fierce animal I had never known before. It paced inside it's cage and thrashed against the bars. It barred it's teeth and begged to be released.
But I had never...
I growled to myself, blushing despite being alone in my bedroom, and I stalked off to the shower.
I was actually excited to get to the water hole the next morning. I chomped on a pop tart and tapped my toe impatiently until Charlie left for work early just to escape me. Jess finally got there and I met her at the door dragging her to the car. She was clueless as to why, but Ang clapped her hand over her mouth and shot me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes and pushed her into the backseat.
He wasn't there.
Over the next twelve weeks, Edward and his family only appeared perched on the driftwood tangle a few more times. They were always laughing and jostling one another playfully. They smoked and occasionally they had a backpack with beers in it. The girls never came back, so Angela and I assumed they were visiting family, which made me feel a little better. I was glad I didn't have to follow through with the skull-crushing–I didn't like the smell of blood. But for him...I would have endured it.
The Cullens never climbed down from their area to mingle with the rest of us. They had come too late in the year to have made any friends, so they were more comfortable keeping to themselves whenever they were there.
My initial thought when I first landed in Forks turned out to be more accurate than I could have predicted. It was a very long summer. I lived each day with the hope that I would see the beautiful finger-god. I was always so disappointed when they didn't show.
The animal inside me growled louder every day.
The month leading up to my summer in Forks I had been dating a boy. We fooled around a lot, and a few times attempted something awkward and embarrassing that loosely resembled sex. We always stopped for some reason or another before it became anything of substance. Either his mom came home or I pushed him away because of the discomfort. Every time I was left feeling irritated and disappointed. But I had never thought to do anything about it. I didn't really know how. I tried to finger around down there a bit, but I don't think I ever did it right because it never amounted to anything.
Thanks to the finger-god, I had to try again that summer. No avail.
I didn't get any sleep on my last night in Forks. I spent the entire night steeling my resolve to confront him, hoping he would be there since it was the last Friday before school began again. I planned to climb the battered driftwood steps to the bluff where the Cullens played. I made a list on a piece of paper with every witty introduction line I could think of. I circled the winner a hundred or so times with blue ink and stared at the words, playing in my mind the actions that it would take to properly deliver the wit.
"Smoking is really bad for you," I would say as I smoothly stole the cancer-stick from his sexy fingers, bringing it to my own lips slowly with a smirk. I tried not letting the fact that I had never taken a drag before discourage me. Whatever. What was the worst that could happen?
I played the whole thing out in my head as we drove, the voices around me a distant murmur as I planned the smirks and the laughter that would follow. I would introduce myself as Isabella, even though I normally hated my full name, but it made me sound older and more exciting than just Bella. He would repeat the name to store it to memory and then introduce himself unnecessarily and finally, finally my dreams could have a real voice. Until then every time he sauntered through my unconscious mind, he was always too far away for me to hear him. He always laughed with people who weren't me and played in the water oblivious to the big brown eyes that studied him. My dreams were annoyingly similar to reality. That was all going to change.
Except...they weren't there. I stayed all day and well into the night. Bonfires were lit and I declined ride after ride back into town praying they would show up.
I finally admitted defeat and caught a ride home with some dork named Eric whom I vaguely recalled being in my second-grade class. I was too deflated to care.
When I got home, I went straight to my room and finished packing. The shoddy marks of blue on white paper mocked me from my desktop. I crumpled it up in anger and through it in the trash bin.
After hours of blaring rock music in my ears and slamming pairs of shorts into a duffle bag, I growled loudly, angry at myself and the silent tears that fell. I felt like such a loser for crying over a boy I didn't even know. I was irritated and ready for bed. I crawled in and drifted away.
My dreams were angry. In them I yelled. My ire was directed at no one in particular. No one yelled back at me. Even in my dreams he failed to show up.
I awoke in a panic to a black room. I hurried over to my desk and rummaged through the trash bin blindly. I found the crumpled piece of paper and stalked across the hall to the bathroom. I ripped it to pieces and flushed them...not needing a nosy police chief father to see my list of pick-up lines and ask questions. Or worse yet, tell my hair-brained mother who would besiege me with the Spanish inquisition and lectures about condoms.
The next morning, I said a watery goodbye to my friends and dad, whom I was legitimately going to miss. I had spent many years as a child convinced my parents would remarry, until Phil's presence basically squandered that innocent hope. In time, I grew old enough to appreciate that it just wasn't right and that we could all still be happy. I missed my dad. I just loathed his annoying and constricting small town.
Though…not so much anymore.
Edward followed me.
Well, Edward himself didn't follow me. Good grief, a girl could only fantasize. But his image did. The idea of him haunted me. At first, it was just while I slept and dreamt impossible dreams of him.
He would stare at me with black hungry eyes. His lips would move, but I would always be too far away to hear him. Eventually, I drew closer, or perhaps it was he who stalked me, I couldn't be sure. Every night he was there and every night we were closer than before. His eyes were dark and urgent, and I in my dream, I didn't understand what he sought–until the night his long fingers first touched me.
They taunted and toyed with me. His cheek would rise in smile, and he whispered things softly into the air between us while my body ignited and my ears strained to hear what he had to say. He grew more adventurous with his caress every night, and his lips drew closer until one night, I felt their velvety texture ghost against the shell of my ear as he whispered to me.
I was left with the impression that the things he said were dirty, but even in my uninhibited state, my inexperience limited my creativity and I could never distinguish any real words. Nor did Edward ever have an actual voice. My subconscious didn't know how to formulate the sound that it had never known.
And then it happened. I awoke shrieking in breathy, shrill gasps that I had never heard myself create before. I was covered in sweat despite the steady whir of the AC in my bedroom window. October was quite warm in Phoenix.
My calves were tangled in the damp sheet and my hair was stuck to my neck and forehead in a gross way. Black eyes and whispering lips projected behind my eyelids every time I blinked and I found myself blinking slower and slower to catch longer images of him. The glowing numbers beside me indicated that it was not even three in the morning, but I decided I needed a shower.
I crawled off my bed intent on grabbing a new pair of shorts and a clean tank top. However, as soon as I stood my legs gave out. I sank back down with a huff. I became aware of the wetness between my legs and the residual buzz that played around inside my veins, leaping and frolicking from one finger to the next, up and down my spine, and twirling merrily at the tips of my toes.
Oh my God, did I have an orgasm in my sleep? No fucking way? Was that even possible?
Experimentally, I slid my fingers through the leg hole of my shorts. I withdrew them quickly and smacked their tips together in awe of the clear stickiness that was in abundance against my thighs and now on my fingers.
I showered quickly on quivering knees and returned to bed praying for more.
I was not disappointed.
And so the nights went. Edward visited me in my dreams, and sometimes I would come and sometimes I would awake and have to finish the job myself. I quickly learned how, of course, it helped whenever I thought of him and his hair and lips and fingers. I would moan his name as I came and delighted at the sound.
One night in November, my mother took a seat at the dining table where I was putting the finishing touches on my end of semester biology project. She had a plate of s'mores and two flutes of sparkling apple cider as well as a nervous, apologetic smile. She explained in a frantic rush of words that Phil had been invited to an off-season practice camp in Florida with the Jacksonville Suns. She was hoping to join him which would leave me to spend the three week winter break in Forks with my dad. She said she would only go if I was okay with returning to Forks so soon.
I struggled to appear as if I was giving the idea genuine thought, plastering on my face with what I hoped was the normal look of disdain I should have had at the idea. In the end, I told her it was a great opportunity for Phil and that I was excited for him. I begged her to go and keep him company. Meanwhile, the animal in me was doing cartwheels back and forth inside its cage with a sharp, toothy grin. I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably as my skin flushed.
No sooner had I arrived in Forks than Angela was in my bedroom giving me the look. The mashed lips, worried eyeballs, raised brow look that said she had bad news to report. My heart sunk before she even spoke.
The Cullens were in Alaska for the break.
I made the best of it. I had great time with my friends and Charlie. I paled but only hyperventilated for a minute when he suggested we go ice-fishing before realising it was my dad's lame attempt at humour. I spoke to my mom and Phil a lot, but most importantly, I was thrilled to discover that my dreams came with me even if the real-life boy they were modelled after apparently never would.
I shamelessly drilled Angela behind closed doors about Edward now that she'd had spent several months in school with him. I was happy when she reported that he was really friendly and humorous. She easily understood why myself as well as the entire female population of Forks, young and old alike, was enamoured by him.
Ang said he was smart but not just typical school smart. He often raised philosophical points in class that the one-A level, underpaid teachers had no idea how to address. Though she said he never patronized them, only did his own research and brought it to class the next day with an eager smile.
I nearly came on the spot when she mentioned that she had heard him play the guitar at a few parties and that he apparently played the piano as well. I settled on squeezing my thighs together and squirming on the edge of the bed, storing the info for later dreams.
He was perfect.
And I wanted him.
On my last night in Forks I drove my behemoth but loyal Chevy truck to the small library just for something to do. I perused the classics section and grabbed an old favourite. I hadn't brought any books with my and, after three weeks, I was desperate for the escape. I curled up in an armchair and lost myself.
A throat cleared behind me and I instinctively checked the time on my cell. I assumed, as often happened with me, that I had lost track of the time and the librarian was politely asking me to get the fuck out. Except, it was only seven PM and the library was open until eleven.
Confused, I whirled around, intent on telling whoever it was to politely leave me alone. Both my book and my jaw fell to the floor.
Get the fuck out.
He smiled, the apple of his cheek glowing under the fluorescents and his eyebrows narrowing playfully. He bent down to retrieve my book – the jaw wasn't going to be so easy to peel off the carpet.
"Bronte," he murmured more to himself than anything, as his real-life-tangible sex-fingers handed me back my book. He nodded in approval, but I was too busy swooning internally over his voice to notice.
Finally! My dreams could have sound–something beyond a breath filled with promise that hummed against my ear and my neck but never fully satisfying me.
"May I?" He gestured to the club chair next to me but didn't wait for a response. He gracefully sat and pulled his long legs underneath himself. He turned toward me.
"Edward," he said in a smooth voice that swirled around my head and licked at the deep dark places inside me. He offered me his hand.
I was going to have to use every ounce of known restraint to not jump the boy in the friggin' library. That would be awkward...especially when the police were called to file indecent exposure charges. I shook his hand silently.
"I never caught your name last summer," he prompted and I forced myself to focus.
Last summer? Holy shit, he noticed me?
"Bella," I replied without hesitation.
"Bella," he repeated quietly, nodding. "Well, Bella, what brings you back to Forks? Desperate for some excitement? Did you just long to be where all the action was?" His smile nearly killed me.
He licked his lips and awaited the laugh that should have come at his obvious teasing. I was too mesmerised by the soft wetness of his pink tongue as it slid over his lower lip again and again on replay in my mind.
"Riiiight," he said slowly, and began to stand.
Jesus, could I be any more rude?
"No, don't go. I just...I'm sorry, I..." I was panicking, wracking my brain for something, anything to say to make the finger-hair-voice-god sit back down.
His eyes were narrow slits as he peered at me cautiously from the side. He granted me a moment to try and collect myself.
"Smoking is really bad for you, you know?" I spat out.
It was the first thing that came out.
He rewarded my folly with a sexy, lopsided smile, and sat back down. Much to my relief.
"I mean," I tried to recover, "I heard you were really smart, and...Ya know, smoking isn't all that smart so...you shouldn't do it.
Internally, the animal glared at me through its bars as I repeatedly frittered away all it's hopes and dreams.
Edward's smile grew impossibly wider.
"You heard I was smart?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow at me.
I bit my lower lip almost until I drew blood. Though I figured passing out from the taste and smell of the disgusting, rusty liquid would not further my cause and only aggravate the animal more, so I forced myself to stop.
"Well, I mean, just...Your whole family is apparently quite smart, er...I…Uhm, because, you know...your dad," I nodded encouragingly as if it would help, "he's a doctor right? So..."
Swan, stop now. Please. Jesus Christ.
I bit my lip again, and he burst out into the most melodic laughter I had ever heard. His eyes watered and he held his belly and tried, bless him, several times to quiet himself but always to no avail.
I huffed and crossed my arms haughtily against my chest, glaring at him to the best of my meagre ability. This of course ignited a new bout of laughter. I had never been very good at giving the stink-eye.
When he finally settled, he gave me a gentle, apologetic look and leaned in, placing his copy of Gogol on the coffee table beside us. He balanced his elbows on his knees and smiled almost shyly at me. In a weak attempt to be flirtatious, I pouted and angled myself away from him.
He pushed a chunk of hair over my shoulder. I ignored the way my skin exploded where his finger grazed my neck.
"I'm sorry, Bella, please forgive me. That was incredibly rude, but..." He trailed off looking down. I turned to him but stayed silent. "You're just really cute when you're angry." He eyed the hair he had just dropped from his fingers. "You cut your hair since the summer."
What the… He really did notice me. I smiled at him, hoping he didn't notice the crimson washing over me.
From there, conversation flowed freely. He told me of Alaska and how much he and his siblings did not want to move, but that his family was super close and they ultimately supported the decision. He said they held a family meeting to discuss the prospect of moving, and I was utterly floored at the idea of such a considerate, democratic family.
I confessed my utter loathing of Forks and told him all about Arizona because he had never been. I remarked on his book and asked if he had already read it. When he shook his head and asked why, I smirked and said, "You'll see when you get to the last line."
His hand flew to the book to read it and I wrestled the book from his hands as our laughter swirled around us.
"No, cheater! You have to experience the right way. Promise me you won't cheat." I giggled.
He scowled but it was playful and sexy. He eventually conceded, holding up his two fingers in a scout's honour, and for some reason, I trusted him.
We eventually grew too loud and after being glared at sharply by the old librarian for over an hour, we decided to relocate.
"You have to be kidding me, Bella. I am not riding in that hideous beast," he said, grimacing at my faithful truck as we crossed the parking lot.
"Hey. It runs so shut up," I retorted.
My body jumped at the charge of electricity that shot through me when he grabbed my hand and lead me to a shiny silver car a few rows down. With a push of a button on his key ring, the lights welcomed us and he opened the passenger door for me. I scowled but entered obediently.
I was so blissfully engrossed in our casual conversation, delighting in the ease and familiarity with which Edward and I related, that I hadn't noticed where we were driving until we arrived.
Edward put the car in park and unfastened his seatbelt with a mischievous glint in his eye. It was black all around us. The roar and crash of the Pacific thundered against the rocks below and disrupted the silence in the car.
I figured he brought us there to continue talking. He definitely wasn't planning to look out at the city lights from the top of the bluff. There were none.
My heart sped up, my blood turned stilled, and something wet seeped between my legs when I realised that perhaps he brought me there to make-out. But then Edward shattered my hopes by opening his delicious, obnoxious mouth.
"Get out, Swan," he purred and opened his own door.
I didn't move. It was freezing out there. It was pouring down rain. Wouldn't he much rather stay inside and make-out, because...
My door opened.
"You coming?" His smile held something incredibly dangerous. So naturally, I climbed out with the hand he offered me and followed him.
He kept his hold on my hand as he lead me over to the tangle of driftwood. He began kicking off his shoes and pulling off his socks and my mind raced even though my tongue refused to cooperate.
"You...what...But its freezing out here, and the waves, and rain, and...Cold!" I stammered, cemented in place with wide, gaping eyes.
He chuckled and pulled his shirt off. It was so black all around us that I could just barely make out the pale sheen where his bare chest was now exposed.
I heard the sound of his belt buckle under his fingertips. It vibrated through me and I flinched in areas that I didn't know could flinch.
Swallowing thickly, I found my voice. "Edward." God it felt good to say that name to him in person. "You can't be serious."
His crooked smirk and devious laugh told me otherwise. "It's called polar-bearing, Bella. Haven't you heard of it? I am from Alaska, you know."
"Polar-whatting? No thanks," I whispered, instantly terrified. Despite the growing heat between my legs at his proximity and playfulness, I turned and marched back toward the car.
A gentle hand encircled my wrist before I took two steps and he tugged back lightly. In my ear he whispered, "Please, Bella, it will be fun. You just dive in and then get out as fast as you can. Don't you trust me?"
Breathy words licked around my ear and neck just like they had for so many months in my dreams. I was powerless to fight the whimper that slid through my lips. I melted backward against his naked chest. A kind finger ghosted lightly against my cheek, pushing my hair away from my face and behind my shoulder.
"Its dark. I won't see anything. I promise. I won't even try to look. You have my word. Just...I don't know...do something crazy with me."
I could feel his shoulders as they shrugged against me.
"Please," he purred and I felt the electric pressure of his hand at my hip. He held my side with a purpose, anchoring me to him and transferring his promise of safety to me.
I turned around. My eyes darted everywhere–the black horizon, the faint outline of dark driftwood against a darker sky, black crashing ocean, rock, and the still pool of ink in the eddy at the mouth of the ocean. I nodded and saw the glimmer of teeth in front of me as he smiled excitedly, his half-naked body already shaking from the cold.
He tore off back to his pile of clothes and finished stripping. I unzipped my jacket with trembling fingers, and then slowly tried to tear my sneakers and socks off.
Naturally, I lost my balance and Edward had to reach over the log to steady me. I knew he was completely naked, even if I couldn't see anything, especially since I refused to look. But I felt the heat and the current and the moisture as he steadied me with a low chuckle. His voice oozed sex but that was probably just my interpretation of it.
"Uhm...thanks," I whispered, feeling the blush pan out over every inch of me.
"Always," he murmured. "Almost ready?"
I pulled my leg from my jeans and freed myself of my underwear. In a moment of sheer courageousness, I unsnapped my bra and tossed it on the log between myself and Edward. Despite his promises, I saw his eyes settle on it, lift, and then quickly retreat. I swore he muttered something but I couldn't make it out.
"Ready," I reported in a steady voice, wondering internally where I was getting my bravado from.
"Aha. Then, shall we?" He held his palm to me.
I worried at my lip but gave him my hand, revelling in the feel of how small yet comfortable it felt inside his.
He lead us to the edge of the bluff and we both looked over to the still basin beneath us. I knew this time of year it was deep enough to dive into from all the rain, and also that the ocean's current didn't reach it. It was just an overflow of tidal waters trapped in the sandy cavern.
I swallowed audibly and he counted slowly. His eyes were wide and trained on mine, gauging my nerves and commitment to this act of idiocy. Little did he know…I would follow him anywhere he was willing to lead me.
On three we leapt together and free fell a hundred and twenty feet into the icy waters of the freezing-cold Olympic Peninsula.
I panicked for a brief moment as my entire body plunged deep into the black abyss. My hair caught and swirled around my shoulders and face making me feel claustrophobic. Bubbles smothered me in a loud silence. My legs kicked and my heart raced. My poor body tried to jump out of its skin and flee from the sharp pain of the cold. I shrieked as my head broke the surface.
Beautiful, loud, grunts and screams indicated Edward survived the jump as well.
"Fuck. Shit. Fuck!" he yelled as he climbed out onto the sand. He helped me out carefully. My body was already convulsing wildly. "You okay?"
I choked out a response through chattering teeth and he pulled me toward the weathered staircase. We climbed it in shaking, chattering silence. My skin felt like it was being pricked with a trillion tiny needles, and I fought the urge to laugh or cry manically. My body seemed to move at one sluggish speed that I could not control. It was lethargic and required an absurd amount of energy just to move my own limbs.
Edward dragged me toward his car and opened the back door. He swiftly covered the dome light, the brightness seeping out in muffled, orange rays through his fingers until he switched it off. I may have glanced at his perfectly taut ass before the light fled.
He fished out some towels from a gym bag and handed one to me.
"I swear their clean...ish." He laughed as he tied his around his waist, tucking in the front piece.
Mine was blue and warm and dry so I welcomed it happily, clean or not. I wrapped it under my arms and twisted until it stayed secure. He held open the front door for me and as I climbed back in, he disappeared into the blackness. I closed the door and yelped as the pieces of exposed skin touched the cold leather.
Edward reappeared like a pale apparition in the night with our clothes. He tossed them into he back seat then climbed in to join me. The keys jingled as he forced them with heavily shaking hands into the ignition, a string of profanities escaping through chattering teeth. My entire body shook violently, and I willed him to get the keys crammed in so we could have some heat.
With the heat finally blasting through the car, he aimed all but one vent at me. A few minutes later, though shuddering uncontrollably, my skin was beginning to thaw and no longer felt like it was being attacked. My hands warmed as they fanned out in front of the vents. I redirected the centre two vents back to Edward who was still brutally shivering. I peeked over at him and he smiled, his lips visibly purple in the glow of the dashboard lights.
"Thanks," he spluttered. Wet hair dripped down his forehead and he seemed too cold to even notice, though I did. He whimpered under his breath and was kind of adorable, in a sexy sort of way.
"Remind me again why we did that?" I was trying to distract myself before I climbed over the armrest and assaulted him.
His voice was hoarse and ragged, but musical all the same. "Uhh... It was...fun?"
We both laughed for several minutes, the action forcing blood through our bodies, warming them from the inside out. I was still to clammy and shaky to contemplate pulling my clothes on yet, so I just laid my head back against the headrest to calm down some more as Edward turned up the stereo. I recognised the twinklings of the piano chords instantly, but was too distracted to say anything.
"You still okay?" a quiet, velvet voice questioned. I lolled my head toward him, growing warmer by the second. His features showed his concern–it was endearing.
"Good," he whispered. His voice had grown tight and his eyes heavy.
"Are you?" I immediately countered.
He gave me his crooked smirk and shrugged. My eyes travelled of their own volition down his bare chest. I squeezed them shut as fast as I could, but I was certain he noticed.
I gulped as the heat rose inside me. It was unnatural. My real temperature was quite cold. But I suddenly felt on fire. I hadn't realised I was biting my lip until his cold finger reached out and delicately freed it.
The pad of his fingertip burned into the thin skin of my lower lip as it remained. His eyes searched mine until they dropped to his finger momentarily and then slowly trailed back up.
My chest rose and fell with effort under the towel as he licked his lips and tilted his head to the side, measuring my reactions. I wondered what he had in mind and was anxious to find out. I knew what I was hoping for.
My eyes lids lost their battle with gravity and slid closed as I rode out the post-adrenaline deflation following the polar bear plunge. It felt like an eternity before his finger lifted and my lip mourned. It was short-lived, as his whole palm slid under my dripping wet hair, his thumb brushing at the lobe of my ear as the tips of his fingers curled around the other side of my neck holding me firmly. I felt his breath against me and the heat radiating off his skin. The pins and needles that my skin had been painfully riddled with gave way to a new kind of tingle, a far more enjoyable one.
Behind the black backdrop of my eyelids all the sexy images from my dreams danced, but none compared to the heat and reality of Edward's real touch. The sweet scent of his real breath feathered against my lips and saturated my taste buds. I breathed out and it sounded more like a needy mewl.
"Open your eyes, Bella," he whispered.
It took a lot of focus but I complied. He was so close his lips touched mine and our noses nuzzled. His hand tightened on my neck.
"Thank you." He smiled, driving his lips further into mine.
But he did not kiss me. Our lips just hovered, acclimating themselves to one another. He lifted and grazed his head slowly, intentionally moving his mouth over mine until I whined. Everything inside my screamed and my hips shifted unconsciously in my seat.
"You still okay?" he asked in a thick voice, a mimic of his earlier worries but with an entirely new meaning.
He crushed his mouth to mine and I hungrily took him in, thankful to have the real thing in front of me and touching me. I was greedy. My hands flew to the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair like the action was natural, something I had done a million times before. I realised I had...in my dreams. He groaned into my mouth and his tongue slid over my upper lip.
I had kissed boys before but it was always mechanical. I over-thought everything. There had never been any romance or fire. It just…was.
Kissing Edward was very different. His lips moved slowly but ardently. They were soft and promising. His husky sounds pushed through his throat, and I swallowed them and made them my own. His tongue flirted cautiously at my lip, licking and petting. My mouth parted, eager to invite him in.
When our tongues touched for the first time my eyes shot open. So did his. The arches of my feet warmed as the electricity smoothed through me. We halted our ministrations, the tips of our tongues against one another's. Something in the depths of his eyes exploded. He softened and dragged his tongue to my upper lip, sucking on it lightly before pressing a chaste kiss there.
Our eyes closed.
Our mouths moved.
His other hand ran down the length of my bare arm as he battled the armrest in between us to reach me properly. I couldn't be bothered to care about the confines of the small space. I was too busy revelling in the sweet trail of goose bumps left in his wake as the fire on my skin morphed into chills. He gripped at my side along my ribcage just under my breast, and I could physically feel my nipple tighten, hoping for some contact. His thumb extended and swept over me. I moaned into his mouth.
Somewhere in the back of my brain I was questioning myself. I was not that girl. I was never rash. I made fucking pro/con lists for every decision I had ever made. I definitely did not go around having random car sex with boys I just met. But it felt right with Edward. I stifled my inconvenient, responsible side and succumbed to the moment.
The pressure of his hand at my chest forced the towel to untuck and drop, but his eyes never left mine. He kissed me softly like he was worshipping me. Not once did he need to remind himself not to attack my freshly exposed breasts. His hand didn't even wander over them. He either had steel restraint or he was naturally respectful. I hoped it was the latter because I really wanted to push his restraint and watch as my dreams played out in reality.
I pulled at his hair harder and took a deep breath, stealing the air right out of his lungs. My nipples brushed against his bare skin. It cracked his resolve. Both hands moved in unison down my body until he was clenching my ribs tightly and groaning against me.
He moved slowly. So slowly I almost snarled at him, but everything felt so fucking good that I couldn't–I just enjoyed it. His lips behind my ear sucking, his tongue at my neck, teeth skimming my collarbone. My fingers ran gentle trails up and down his neck and over the solid tops of his shoulder. I felt each muscle as it moved with him under my hands.
He flicked his tongue over a nipple and I nearly shot out of my seat. Our eyes met but he didn't stop. He slowly sucked it into his mouth and the feeling of warmth and wetness and pleasure swirled while his gaze stayed with me. He had one hand gently cupping my other breast and the other splayed out flat against my stomach, which trembled with nerves and anticipation and something much sharper that was quickly gaining strength. The animal roared and licked its lips from it's cage.
His mouth eventually found mine again. His fingers tickled the inside of my thigh. Of course I knew what he was going to do, it wasn't the first time a hand that wasn't my own had touched me there, but it was still so new. The excitement and urgency his touch created inside me was unparalleled. I felt both frantic and calmed by him.
He pulled back and I pouted noticeably.
He took in the sight of my protruding lower lip and scrunched brows and chuckled at me. Nuzzling near my ear, he whispered, "Are you still okay?"
Is he kidding me with this? He is too sweet for his own good.
"Edward," I cautioned. My rough, needy voice startled even me as I had never heard it before. "I promise to tell you if I am ever not okay. In the mean time, please, please continue."
Apparently, I was not above beggary.
He nodded slowly, his eyes heated and narrowed on mine. One long finger slipped inside. His thumb brushed over me and my whole body jolted as I gasped. His eyes flew to mine and I nodded my assent.
Slowly, he pulled his finger out and then pushed it back in while rubbing me perfectly. I could feel how slick his finger was by how easily it moved in and out of me. He added a finger and curled them and I exploded. It happened so fast that it caught both of us off guard, though to be honest, it had been brewing inside me for the last six months.
My orgasm generated opposite effects in us. While it crescendoed in my belly and shot to my toes, it slowly ebbed away and my gasps and cries quieted. My body washed over with a sense of calm and relaxation. My eyelids felt heavy and my lips fell into a content smile.
Edward was frantic. Spurred on by my abrupt climax and the uncontrollable way I tugged at his hair. He crushed his mouth to mine.
It only took a moment before his urgency gave way to my own. When he lifted me at the waist and dragged me roughly over the console, I rejoiced. My knee got stuck on the wrong side of the armrest and growled at it. He smiled at my enthusiasm and wrapped his long sex-fingers around the back of my thigh and lifted it for me, settling me gingerly in his lap. My towel stayed behind on the passenger seat.
It was less than a sixteenth of a second before his lips found mine again. His tongue already felt at home in my mouth and I was thrilled to feel it slip back in place. Everything inside me burst into more flames.
"Fuck, Edward," I moaned as he ran his palms down my back and over my ass, squeezing gently but with a purpose.
I ripped at his and he growled eagerly as it parted and my fingers sought his hardness. I was perched on his thighs, ducked low as the roof of the car forced our heads together in a very intimate manner. My hand was wedged between our bodies as I stroked him once...twice...before I could finish the third pass from base to flat, smooth head, he pulled at my hips until I slid forward. His dick smashed between our lower bellies, the base seated right at my centre, he kissed me fiercely. Instinctively my hips shuffled on his lap, rubbing myself shamelessly against his dick, needing more, seeking a friction I had never known before but somehow knew how to find.
We groaned together loudly as all my wiggling lifted me enough for the head of his dick to brush my opening. His hands flew to my face. He pushed me until my back met the cold steering wheel and he could look into my eyes.
"Tell me you've done this before," he growled. His eyes were the dark, desperate pools of my dreams and my body reacted, demanding him.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't want to lie to him, but it wasn't as simple as that.
"Uh...well.." I stammered looking away and biting my lip.
"What!" His eyes widened and he swore under his breath. His hands dropped in a flash to my hips, and at first I was excited but then I realised he was stilling my movements and pushing me off of him.
He beat his head against the headrest and chanted a frustrated combination of "fuck" and "why."
Unfortunately for me, all that did was jiggle me against his thighs and arouse me further. On second thought, perhaps that was more fortunate than not…
I wanted Edward inside me. I had dreamt of him but didn't know how to tell him that without freaking him out. I didn't want him to panic and force me off him, so I did the only thing my muddled brain could think of. I began stuttering out an explanation.
"Okay, so I kind of have...ish...and kind of haven't."
He opened his eyes but kept his hands tight at my waist. "How do you 'kind of' have sex, Bella? Either you have or you haven't?"
I recoiled at his tone. His eyes warmed immediately and one hand reached up to brush aside some wet hair that was snaked around the side of my neck. He kissed the apple of my cheek. When he spoke again his tone was gentle and remorseful. "I don't care if you haven't. Please be honest with me. I'm just...I can't take something like that from you like this."
His voice was soft, like satin skimming the surface of my bare skin. Like feathers on the closed eye lids or someone else combing your hair. He soothed me.
I didn't technically consider myself a virgin, truly. Finished or not, I'd already been through the painful parts a couple of times. But how was I supposed to explain that?
"No, I've...like...I've just never finished," I whispered, feeling my body glow with blush as I said the words while staring at my lap and the place where our bodies were almost joined.
He held my face in one hand and steered my eyes to his. He tilted his head to the side and seemed to ponder something, with an amused spark in his eye.
"You didn't finish because it hurt, or like...he just couldn't get you?"
Oh that's why he was amused. Boys.
I felt compelled toward more honesty even though it was obviously the wrong answer. He had been so gracious and gentle with me where most seventeen year old boys would never even take the time to ask before taking.
"Hurt," I answered in a small voice and his features collapsed abruptly. "Please?" I kissed his cheek innocently and then bat my eyelashes at him. "Try? If I tell you it hurts I know you'll stop."
"You don't know anything about me, Bella," he whispered, not to be mean, just stating the obvious.
"I feel like I do," I said truthfully.
He nodded, obviously feeling it too.
That unguarded moment was my indication to move and I leaned in to renew the kiss. I traced his upper lip gently with my tongue until he groaned despite himself. We kissed slowly, small whimpers and groans escaping both of us. Eventually, his grip on my hip loosened and I took advantage. I rocked against him, feeling how hard I made him. His hips lifted off the seat and met me, his erection pumping in the tight space between our stomachs as he used the floorboards for leverage. Soon we were frantic again.
He had a condom in his wallet which he retrieved with a bashful shrug. I scrunched as far back as the tight space would allow and watched in awe as he slid it on with shaky hands that reassured me he wasn't much more experienced than I was. Slowly, gently, he lifted me, eyes drilling into mine, begging silent questions. I released a gentle breath and offered him a small smile, trembling with need and nerves. He read my cue and carefully lowered me over him. Slow.
It burned, I couldn't deny that. Even as he entered me with small, measured movements, he stretched and filled me and it stung. I hissed and he withdrew immediately, expletives not meant for me leaving his lips.
I kissed them away.
He tried again. It was better.
Again and it was much better.
I moaned and he responded. His hands at my waist, he guided my awkward movements back and forth. The space limitation ensured small movements that were ideal for me as I ground against his hips. Every time I swivelled, he groaned and swore under his breath. Every time he squeezed my hips or ass cheeks almost roughly and drove himself deep inside me, I cried out with pleasure.
Soon he was lifting and slamming me down on him and all prior discomfort had been forgotten. My previous experiences were proven amateur, and the sensations he created within me with his attentive touches curled and coiled in my belly. He sucked at my neck roughly and I cried out.
Not knowing any better, I didn't even try to restrain myself as a pleasure I had never known before coursed through me. Stars speckled the black air inside the car and I crashed and crashed again until I couldn't even bring myself to moan any longer, utterly spent.
He followed me quickly. His hands clamped down on my hip and shoulder as his body stiffened and jerked with his climax. He groaned and it was music to my ears. I melted into him, not giving a flying fuck about the typical post-polar bearing, post-coital, car sex with a near stranger protocol.
I laid my cheek on his chest as it slowed gradually, feeling the thud of his heartbeat as they hammered against my ear. I smiled against his sticky, warm skin when I felt his arms first snag my towel and lay it over me, and then encircle me to hold me tight. We lay in silence for what was either several long minutes or months, I wasn't sure...before he realised my teeth had begun chattering.
"Oh shit, Bella," he said in a panicky voice and pushed me back so he could look at me. "Your freezing to death. I'm sorry. You should get dressed."
He reached over my head and twisted to grab my things from the back seat. I climbed over to my seat awkwardly, providing him enough images to fuel a lifetime of fantasies. We spent the following sixty seconds manoeuvring and grunting until Edward finally muttered, "Fuck it," and threw open his door to get dressed outside…dome light and all.
I snuck several peeks at him. His eyesight fell above the hood of the car so I figured I was safe to gawk. I curled into my seat still unclothed but with my blue towel over me and watched the long sex-fingers button his fly and pull on his tee shirt. When he had his foot resting on the door jamb to tie his runners he dipped his head down below the frame of the car and looked up at me from under his lashes. His wet hair fell over his forehead and he had a large, lopsided smile.
"I know you're watching me." Shit. "Perv."
He winked and grabbed my towel from over my body and used it to dry his hair.
He plays dirty.
I shrieked and squealed loudly. Left completely naked and seated on display under the soft glow of the interior lighting. While he stood smirking at me fully clothed, I made a bold decision. I climbed from the car slowly, ducked under the doorway, and reached for my clothes smirking at him.
Two can play at this game, Cullen.
I dressed slowly, and what I hoped was seductively, before taking my seat again and buckling up. I turned to him with a smug grin. I took in his wide eyes and tight jaw as a sign of my own success.
He cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat. "So, are you coming back next summer?" he asked. His voice was smooth but quiet…unsure.
I nodded. I was now.
"Good. It's gonna be one hell of a summer."
Please lemme know what you think. It was odd having this out there for a few weeks on the blog but not being able to get proper reviews on it, so...
Lay it on me.
And enjoy the SS Update.