I spoke the words to you, father.

I said that I had forgiven you.

For too long I had allowed you

To run my life, to control my life.

You sired my murderer.

You betrayed me

By placing Richard above me.

You betrayed me

By making sure that I would die

At the hands of my own blood.

You loved Richard

More than you ever loved me,

Even though I grew up

With you always nearby,

While you knew nothing

About your other son,

Not even his name.

I thought that I had killed you.

I had thought wrong.

You were still alive,

But I was determined

To make you dead again,

This time permanently.

You arrived in the underworld.

I had wanted to torture you

For eternity,

But when I saw you,

I realized that I was your captive,

And I also realized

That if I did torture you,

I would only make myself

Further your captive.

I had carried anger towards you

For my whole life.

I have despised you, loathed you,

For my whole life.

Yet I never felt better.

I had to let go

Of my desire for vengeance

If I was ever going

To be free of your control.

If I spoke the words of forgiveness,

You would no longer

Have any power of me

Because I would no longer

Be held captive

By my emotions of resentment

Towards you.

To release anger is to gain freedom.

I thought that I was free of you, father.

I thought that I had let you go,

But I had thought wrong.

I may have spoken

The words of forgiveness,

But my heart

Had not followed my lips.

The desire for vengeance is painful,

But forgiveness is difficult to find.

I will never escape

From my brother's shadow.

Likewise, father, I will never escape

From your shadow.

I am still locked

In the dungeon of anger and hopelessness

That you created for me

When you first bragged to me

About my brother, my murderer.

I cannot find the key

To open the door.

Does the key even exist?

Father, will I ever be free of you?

Will I ever be able to escape

From your control?