...Ehem. Hello...whoever is reading. Please forever my long absence. Complications of sorts.
On a side note I would like to add;
Sakura is being a bitch for a reason. I'm not bashing Sakura. Hinata isn't a Sad Sally Mary Sue that is incapable of decisions. Sasuke is not a man-whore, just very confused of Hinata and love in general.
Also, you all are probably going to hate me by the end of this chapter, but...everything will sort of work out in the end. (..?)
And although the title for this chapter is 'Under the Gun' (by The Killers in case you didn't know), the actual song that inspired this chapter is called 'Sweet Talk'. So listen to it if you wanna really understand this chapter.
Warning; Kind of lemony in this. You've been warned, folks.
I always loathed those ridiculous, unbelievable stories my mom would read to me before I went to bed.
I despised how the damsel in distress would magically get swept off her feet by the brilliant ,courageous hero.
People like that do not actually exist.
...How the villain would somehow always, always lose. Regardless of the situation.
I hated it. I hated it so much. Because I found out the hard way.
Life just doesn't work like that.
"And how does that make you feel, Mr. Uchiha?" Croaked a soft crackling voice.
The now put-off Sasuke looked at the man with fine but apparent lines grazing his face, along with thin graying hair and patches of bald spots. The psychologist was casually leaning back in his creaking office chair, strong tan sagging hands pressed together, lightly gnawing on a pen that filled the awkward space with 'crack, clicks'. Old but apparently not wise, the old geezer was totally oblivious to his surroundings, along with his client.
Being so engulfed in paperwork, he kept stating the same rehearsed and cliché sentences repetitively in a mellow-tone voice. Sasuke stared on as if 3 heads magically emerged along with rainbows and kittens spewing from his tight but wrinkled mouth.
What this man was getting to pretend to listen was, in fact, not worth what the vampire conical was paying for.
"Scared. Apprehensive. Maybe a little constipated." The adolescent lashed out with dripping sarcasm, irritation lacing his cold mocking voice.
"Mhm, I see. That's very interesting." He agreed calmly, nodding with fake interest.
The boy deflated in annoyed boredom, giving up. He sprawled his lean, long body out on the cushioned sofa, propping his head with crossed arms. His eyes formed into black slits that focused on two chirping birds outside a small window.
They were tangoing in a small festive love dance, then vanished into the puffy white clouds just as fast.
He hesitated, even if it was childish or maybe even a little stupid.
A loud shrill knock at the door made us both jump as we quickly separated like accumulating drops of water. It actually felt painful to pull back from her comforting warmth.
Hinata mumbled a quick sorry with a short clumsy bow and scurried to the door that seemed to be getting louder by the second. I'd be pissed, but by now this seemed to be a damned cycle.
Once whoever leaves, I need to tell her... It was now or never, and never was not an nonnegotiable option.
I silently sat back in the closest chair, stretching my tight aching body and propping my long legs on the glass table. With every second my obscured heart raced and thumped like a broken ticking bomb. This was new to me, and the nerves were killing me.
Pulling out a camolite cigarette, I started to toy with my clicking lighter but stopped short when her distant giggle made me start to wonder.
I arched an eyebrow and brought myself to the infectious, adorable noise.
Getting up, I silently peered around the corner.
Then my throat tightened immensely, and a sharp siring pain stabbed harshly at my chest to the point that my vision blurred. Yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from the romance scene before me.
Naruto, that damned idiot, was loving on Hinata like a fucking puppy... Smooching, affectionately embracing...like a perfect lovey dovey couple you would see on t.v.
A perfect romance. ...And they were happy. Really happy. You could just tell without looking, yet I still was like a foolish idiot.
I silently cursed as that faint but familiar twisting pain grew more and more in large amounts, along with a loud buzzing sound invading my hot sensitive ears. My fists tightened painfully, an infectious tremble starting. Everything was blurring and going fuzzy with hurt.
I quickly exited out the sliding glass door, knocking random objects over that blocked my path from this hellish joke, breathing becoming beyond impossible.
I can't take this anymore.
"Hanabi, what is taking you so long? I give you a simple task and all you do is procrastinate and fuck up." came a deep disformed booming voice that echoed throughout the spacious, empty warehouse.
The girl stiffened briefly at that harsh, demanding voice. Hanabi's eyes darted for an explanation, spluttering out a short hushed sentence.
This was not good.
"W-w-well, y-you see, Hinata has these friends now, and a-another vampire protecting her, never leaving her s-side, a-a-and Neji, h-he-"
"What?" the voice sneered in pure outraged furry.
Hanabi bit her bottom lip as a small squeak almost escaped her trembling lips, the anxiety and panic very apparent on her young childish face. Her eyes leaked tears that quickly disappeared into black-matted clumps of hair.
The lavender eyed girl scarcely stood her ground as she was circled like fresh, defenseless meat. That defiantly was an understatement.
There was a brief pause in the pace, then it came to a complete halt.
Hanabi hesitantly looked up, hands cupped together to surpass them as not shaking.
"You knew this would happen." It wasn't a question, but a statement. A fact.
Hanabi weakly nodded.
But even knowing this, she let out a small helpless cry that only the cockroaches and rats could hear.
"And when did these feelings start, exactly?"
Hinata tensed at that personal invasion, becoming a frantic babbling mess with a scarlet face to match. She averted her eyes to a motivational poster that wasn't all that motivating for this particular situation, and back to her not all that amused school concealer.
"W-w-well you see, it's not like...like I like him. I mean, no, I do love him very mu- l-L-LIKE him, but I-I-it's-um, y...you know?"
The loud ticking cat clock with the creepy shifting eyes responded for the impatient educator, looking at the poor fumbling idiot.
A poorly concealed sigh escaped the woman's red-lipstick mouth as she rubbed the bridge of her long pointy nose.
"Not the slightest idea, Miss. Hyuga."
The blond suggestively ran his long tanned hand down Hinata's slopping hips, slipping them under her frumpy waistband pants.
Her eyes widened in surprise, trying to blink it back.
She chuckled nervously, twisting out of the blondes embrace she had wanted since as long as she could remember. The boy looked awfully disappointed, so she quickly pecked him on the cheek, lighting up his previous knowing smirk. The same look he gave all the other girls.
This hurt. A lot. But what did she expect?
With a weak smile and nod, she turned on her foot and was met with a wrecked kitchen in ruins. Birthday cake in a messy pile, plated food shattered and candles snapped.
The unsure vampire hesitantly tiptoed over the clustered debris of a mess, looking for a certain missing boy.
"...S...Sasuke?" Hinata softly called out, not trusting her voice as it wavered.
Her foot snapped something rigid and cracked, making her jump slightly and lift her small appendage in the process.
Looking down at this painting, you would think its just useless junk.
For it was shredded with claw marks, and bashed severely into many pieces. Her breathing stopped momentarily as she stared blankly at nothing. The girl took the fragments of what was left in her hands like an injured bird, then frantically searched the still empty kitchen as a sicking panicked feeling slowly sunk into the pit of her stomach.
She shot to her feet, silently calling his name as she couldn't find her proper, sane voice.
The back screen door harshly tapped against the ajar pathway, gusts of wind wildly blowing in the girls direction.
Her breath hitched, dropping the now useless pieces.
The girl blindly pursued the Uchiha, tripping over the mess while frantically heaving in breaths, holding her unsound body against the open door frame. Without knowing what she was doing, the girl relentlessly called out the boys name like a broken-down, dejected chant, following the weak familiar scent.
Rain of torrents and thunder cascaded down from the endless pitch black sky, the beautiful pure snow now tainted puddles of brown dripping muck. The water droplets soaked Hinata to the core, concealing her now freely falling tears from sight.
Sasuke's scent washed away along with her frantic breaking screams, voiceless.
Her leg twisted harshly, cracking but gone unnoticed as her face hit the igneous asphalt. This felt all too familiar to her, daja vu. Except she wanted to live. She wanted to breath. For someone dear to her. For Sasuke.
It had always been Sasuke.
Her fingers dug into the grainy wet stone, a clap of thunder booming from the bleak sky.
The raven was jerked from his thoughts, bringing his focus to the now pouting girl. Or witch, if you'd please.
"Are you even listening?" the girl complained, bending over to show her chest in well view.
Her dark lavender eyes and shimmering golden hair framed the curvy body, skin soft to the touch. The girls full pink lips slightly trembled, eyes pleading. The boys impassive face managed a teasing smile, feeling the unwanted emotions crawl up his spine.
Sasuke playfully cupped the girls face, hammering out the emotions from his facade.
"How can I ignore you? With such a lovely smell, good enough to eat." he mused in a flirt, leaning in close enough for breaths to mingle. The girl let out a needy whimper in return, fully giving herself to him. Her spicy-sweet sent intoxicated him, filling the room also.
He hastily ate at her lips, making the girl melt in return. Sasuke ran his finger under her shirt to be met with more burning flesh, of little that was covered.
She was a hot panting mess, more then willing. And he would be damned if this made him inclined, on the contrary.
The boy unforgivably tore the revealing shirt to a pile of scraps, letting lust take over his sense and drowned out his others. A low, dominant growl erupted from his chest as his aggressive hate picked up, driving him mad.
There was a a stopping and then a temporarily shifting below, for some reason. Then silence. Then more silence. His vision was blurred beyond comprehension, so he reflexivity sniffed, getting nothing but a sickly sweet smell that made his body tense and his head swarm in pain.
Suddenly, a feminine voice below with a slurry yet pleased catty drawl called out for him not to stop, thin, scrawny arms wrapping around his neck.
His gut told him to stop for many reasons, but he ignored this realization regardless.
Like his emotions, and a girl.
"Sasuke?" the girl aimlessly called out into a brick alleyway, only getting her voice that echoed in taunting return.
"P-please...please...where are y... Sorry."
The rain started to die down, turning into slush like sleet that pelted her now damp head.
"I'm so sorry. Please. Where...where are you?"
Her voice cracked and crumbled as she attempted to beckon for the non-existing boy, but stopped when an image came into view of two silhouettes belonging to a hotel's window.
The girls body and soul automatically pulled into the direction like a obligated magnet. Without an ounce of hesitation, the girl dashed into the structures building.
The girl that rode him viciously kept calling out his name with enduring passion and love, digging long manicured nails into his sensitive flesh that was breaking on contact.
Even if this was foolish thinking, did this girl get lighter?
Sasuke tried with all his capability to use his eyes correctly, but only saw a bright red haze, along with pure black silhouettes synthesized into blob-like images. Questioning pleasure and pain immensely slammed into his body as his hips uncontrollably bucked, making said girl cry in unison.
Sasuke gritted his teeth, frustrated, trying to keep the now foreign hips in place with firm but uneasy hands.
He didn't like this at all.
A low whine came from above as a small boney hand ran across his sensitive flesh. The boy hissed as sensations slammed into him without warning.
"Don't worry...just love me. Love only me. Because I love you so much. Love me back. That stupid, stupid girl will never love you in return, Sasuke. Don't you understand?"
His body tensed in a sudden realization.A low, satisfied purr came from above as the vibration turned into a painful frenzy of confused lust.
That's right. He disregarded why he even came here in the first place. To forget. Forget these feelings. Forget this pain.
To forget her.
Slowly but surely, he grabbed the hips from above and took over, putting all his hate, agony, fury and betrayal into the thrusts. Cries of ecstasy invaded the room, along with his harsh shallow breathing and soft grunts.
Beads of sweat started to collect, a slight flush more apparent then before.
A small rustle caught his attention, the door to the room creaking from being open. The murky shadow of a blob stayed for a second then suddenly left as fast as it came.
He dismayed it as useless, drowning in pleasure and pain. This was all just smoke and mirrors.
"And where does it hurt?"
In life, many things can 'hurt'. That's part of being human and experiencing life. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Rejection, death. All these things, far from alien and new. Even if these memories fade and lay in the past, forgotten, does it still ache? Linger, in a sense?
Are these great pains what make the weak strong, and the inhuman 'human'?
My frail hands made its way up to this uneven beating heart that shouldn't even be. Many lumpy and flat scars trailed themselves where it still remained, showing proof I existed.
Am I still broken? Or even worth fixing, for that matter? So many questions but never a proper conclusion.
My eyes squinted hard at the cream colored ceiling, maybe trying to find the answer itself.
The peach cracking wallpaper started turning white, blinding and warping into something else. I could feel myself sinking into nothingness.
Cold needles and a chest crushing under the pressure of gravity itself, yet there is nothing that even touches it except a small golden locket. It won't stop, endless. It's hurting so much, I'm starting to suffocate in my own skin. There's no escape, no loophole to this.
I reach to the sky for some form of salvation. The stabbing and blistering numbness is everywhere, ripping at my flesh, pulling me into different directions. I'm as high up as this sinful city will go, yet I'm still sinking into an endless abyss, and there's nothing in sight to pull me out.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out, muted by the loud hissing downpour surrounding me. Or maybe I lost it along the lines. There's no surface, yet no bottom. But...I don't want to fight it anymore. The more I do, the more it hurts. In the end, it's futile. I'm still that pathetic sobbing girl no one wants, or throws aside after realizing who that girl really was all along.
Headfirst, I give in and let the invisible tides swallow me whole. Headfirst, arms out, last step and it all ends.
The stinging dies down to nothing, the static fuzzy sound fades out and the image of the boy. The boy who I want never to forget but always remember in every waking dream.
The mighty wild winds push my body to the edge in large gusts. I lean into it, soft as a ghostly touch.
Falling. The bottom of this unforgiving city is closing in at a startling pace. I realize what's happening, and this is in fact not a dream at all. It's all too frighteningly real.
I finally manage to find my voice as it comes out chocked back and strangled, high pitched with no actual sound or meaning to it.
The pain finally stops.
I gasp, as if breaking the surface of actual water. I grab for something to stop the free falling, or rather splattering to be, only to get a handful of blanket in return.
I'm not falling anymore. My inviting room is instead in it's place, to my dumbfounded relief.
It was all a dream, a fictional nightmare I tell myself, or whoever else I was trying to appease. I sink into warm, comforting blankets and feel my body respond in fiery, unwelcome pain. With this, I remember everything and really wish I didn't. Everything and anything that is, officially hurts. Inside or out.
I slowly bring myself up with collapsible wobbly arms and immediately grab my aching head, gritting my teeth.
Literately, head to toe. Bandages everywhere. But why?
All I remember is... No. I don't want to remember that. I counted, distracted myself. Crying wouldn't do any good. It never did. Just block that memory.
Breathing was hard, not like a second nature. Breathe. Remember. Forget.
Those were currently my steps for functioning correctly.
I pushed my way out of the bed, holding my side while hunched over like an old lady. My body feels cold and like it could fall apart any second. The small dresser mirror was enough to show why.
A wrapped head, chest, leg and back. Impossible.
My back. It was killing me. More like completely broken. Did I land on it? Suicide wasn't even in what little memory I had. Just sinking and drowning.
I reached for my shoulder blades,spine, anything. In return I found two long slits, blood still sticky and fresh. In fact, a lot of blood was painted along my body. A sort of frantic nausea hit me hard, making me double over on my knees.
Crawling to the bathroom, I huddled into a wheezing ball of pain and tried my best to collect myself, shallow breathing filling the silence. Breath. Okay, good.
Oh, no. That wasn't one of the cleaning maids. I gripped the door and peered around it, sprawled out on the cold tile floor uselessly, trying to collect myself before I came undone all at once.
Tears, and more tears. They were the only thing I could actually produce.
There was a pause and quite shuffling of light and fast paced feet, searching. "...Hinata?"
My throat was incredibly tight to the point of breaking. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, let alone respond correctly. I tried to clear it and silently coughed up blood in return. But apparently not silent enough, since the noise came closer.
"Hinata, you in there?" It sounded blank, professional and cool. Just the opposite of the person I knew last night.
I screwed my eyes shut, trying to get my stupid voice to work, make a sound, anything. And it finally did. An in between 'yes' and sob. I quickly cleared my throat and managed a better 'yes', scratchy but the crying wasn't as apparent.
The footsteps were by the door in an instant, pushing its way past my thin barrier of what was keeping him, the source, out.
"N-no. I'm...I'm not... ready."
I held my breath, waiting to see if my poor lying skills had been bought.
The footsteps backed away, followed by silence then distanced themselves, far enough.
"...Whatever. Just be ready by 7:30 PM tonight."
Then the bedroom door clicked shut.
And I was alone again, collapsing into myself and away from the world, trying my best not to feel at all.
Sasuke stared off into the direction of two flocking birds out a large stretched out window, maybe the same ones from before. He looked back at the closed door, the questionable caring warmth still lingering.
The small canaries looped in and out, hesitantly passing each other. Sasuke looked on blankly, mouth slightly parted. Finally, they decided to stay in one place, landing together on a flimsy shaking branch. They stuck together like glue, very content.
He let out a small odd chuckle as his head fell to the side, hair covering his usually dark eyes. A small but sure smile found its way to his lips as his face fell into a long white palm, laughing and shaking his bowed head.
"Stupid love birds."
EDIT: Just to clear things up, yes Hinata tried suicide (...again). And yes, Hinata saw Sasuke with said girl, thus making her do so. Come on ppl, not THAT hard to put two 'n two together. :'I
Phew. Long chapter is long...ish. And dramatic. And emo. Yes, I know. Regardless, hope you enjoyed. R&R and all that jazz if you want a happy ending. /evillaugh.
Trust me, it gets a lot worse. I mean better. FML you'll see, k?
P.S. ...Next chapter gets a drunk Hinata, new person and maybe some fucked up romance(s)?
P.P.S. I'll be touching up some previous chapters later on, maybe after chapter 10. Just a heads up, idk.