A/N: Mari-chan here~! This is another one of my new stories Sweetest Sin! This is being co-written by me and my friend Jenny. I'll post her username once she gets one.
Pairings: Zemyx (Main), One-Sided LexZex as the starting pairing.
Insert standard disclaimer here
Please Enjoy Sweetest Sin!
I can't believe I'm about to do this.
Zexion Emmet had that thought running through his head as he slowly approached Sakura Street. Lexaeus. His name just kept running through his head. The same name that had been beating at the inside of his skull for the past few years. He was finally going to do it today. Lexaeus was a general practitioner and they worked at the same practice. He had loved him for a long time now. And today he was going to confess.
The signs were all there. He's always nice to me, he seems like he goes out of his way to touch me and he smiles whenever he sees me. He has to at least like me.
He watched as Lexaeus locked the door of the small town house a few houses away from where Zexion was standing. His head felt suddenly empty and the fear really kicked in. He took a few shaky breaths, but he still felt numb. Come on, isn't this what you want? Pull yourself together! He giddily took the last few steps that brought him close enough to speak to Lexaeus. He couldn't help himself. It was like gravity.
"Lexaeus!" he spoke breathlessly. He was on autopilot now. "Hi, um I was wondering if maybe you'd uhh, want to come talk to me over coffee. Um, before work?" Zexion looked up at the man with hopeful eyes. Lexaeus pushed back his sandy blond hair with a small smile as he considered Zexion's offer.
"I don't see why not. But I won't have Xemnas bite my head off if we're late."
"Alright, I'll happily take the blame." Zexion beamed "It's important after all."
After watching Zexion totter giddily over to a coffee shop across the street without going to the crosswalk or looking either way, Lexaeus became concerned. This wasn't like the careful, capable Zexion he saw at work. Something must be really eating at him, Lexaeus concluded.
Crap, crap, crap Was just about all that was going through Zexion's mind as he tried to distract himself for just a minute, counting out the exact change to pay for their coffees. His stomach was churning though, and he was sure he wouldn't be able to drink his. He silently slid Lexaeus' coffee to him as he sat down at the table. Zexion stirred his coffee feverishly even though he hadn't put anything in it. Lexaeus frowned.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Zexion looked up timidly from his coffee at his co-worker. His jaw was practically clenched shut. He opened his mouth a little, against its wishes. His tongue felt so dry and thick. Like it would choke him. He took a swig of his rather crappy coffee and frowned at the taste and his own shyness. Why can't I just say what I feel?
"Actually, I-I have something ...to confess." Zexion took a deep, rattling breath, "I love you." And let it all back out. Lexaeus just stared at his blue haired companion with wide eyes and carefully set down his coffee. It all made sense now. Why Zexion always blushed so much and smiled so brightly when he saw him. The kind of smile that made him have to smile in response.
"You... like me that way?" Lexaeus rumbled slowly, after pausing to think.
"I-I love you. For a long time now." Zexion said a bit stronger, hiding his blushing face further behind his silver blue hair. His heart beat hard. It was the only thing he could feel. It thumped Lexaeus, I love you. He was glad he had had the courage to say this. Maybe now all his dreams could come true. He looked up at that thought, to study Lexaeus' face hopefully.
Lexaeus' eyebrows were furrowed as he sat deep in thought. I really wanted to protect this kid. And now, I'm the one who might hurt him the most. I... hate irony. Lexaeus looked up from the faux wood table into that gorgeous pair of eyes, made even more beautiful by the hope and adoration that filled them. I guess... I just have to break it to him as gently as I can.
"Zexion." Lexaeus spoke with concern. He had never wanted to cause his friend pain. "I am sorry. But I'm straight. I hope that we can still be friends."
Zexion's swirling mind suddenly froze. Rather than just fuzzy, it was completely blank. He couldn't feel his heart anymore. It had gotten lost somewhere. His lungs felt raw. Was I breathing hard? He didn't know. He felt like he had never known anything and perhaps never would.
"O-oh." Some part of his subconscious mind spoke for him, to let him free himself of his obligation to be here. "I get it. I really do. I'm just gonna go now. I'll. I'll see you at work." Zexion had no idea what his face looked like. He couldn't feel his face. He slammed through the coffee shop door blindly, unable to see anything, think anything, feel anything. Zexion fled, running at top speed through the streets.
His mind worked desperately, but sluggishly, trying to rationalize, trying to make the end of the world make sense. It's okay, just go to work and pretend this never happened. I mean, he's straight, so it's better than just being outright rejected, right? Zexion slowed to a stopped and rested by a tree that grew through its little square cut out of the sidewalk.
A vicious-looking grandma shot a frown at him as she trudged on by and pulled her curious pug away from him. But it's not like that mattered at this point. Because nothing mattered. Why had he even bothered? Why had he ever bothered?
He should just go home. What was he kidding? There was no way he would go to work right now. Not when he would see him. He trudged slowly down the condo-lined street, passing obnoxious children on summer vacation and senile old people screeching at them to stay off their lawns. He sighed as he neared his own street. Now he had to deal with Riku. Since Zexion lived alone he had taken his cousin in because he didn't want to live in a dorm for college. One would think that he would be better than no one at all, but most of the time he was just a pain in the ass.
He gazed up at the sapphire blue sky and sighed. There was a slight breeze flowing through the trees that lined the manicured street and the sun gave off a lazy light. It was a beautiful day. A perfect day. Just to mock him. Dragging his feet, he trudged up the steps to his own condo and walked through the door, no doubt Riku was awake if the door was unlocked.
"Riku, I'm home." He whispered into the empty hallway. He didn't think Riku would hear him. He wouldn't even attempt to make it to his own room. He half crawled, half walked to the living room barely making it to the black leather couch only a few feet away. Burying his head into a soft, golden throw pillow, he let himself break down. He just couldn't hold it in anymore. He had no chance with the love of his life. He let that revelation bear down on him, pushing him further into oblivion.
"Zexion! Wake your ass up." Zexion groaned and opened his eyes a fraction. A scowling Riku looked down at him.
"What Riku? I'm trying to sleep..."
"Zexion, why are you not at work? And why do you look like someone gave you a swirly?...have you been crying?" Zexion sat up and ran his fingers over his wet cheeks. Then it hit him. Lexaeus. Grabbing another throw pillow he curled back up as soft sobs wracked his fragile frame.
"Oh man. You told him didn't you? I've only seen you upset over one thing in my whole life and that is boyfriends. Shit Zex." Riku sat down beside him as a particularly loud sob escaped him. Riku wrapped his arms around his cousin and leaned down to see if he could coax him out of his ball, his light, almost white hair hanging down in a curtain.
"Listen I know It's tough but how about me and you head down to the bar, hm? You could drown your sorrows and I could eat. What do ya say?"
Zexion's head lifted at this and he uncurled as he nodded.
"What? What do you want? Oh, it's you Riku." An ebony haired women, Tifa, stomped her way out of the back room of the local bar.
"Hey Tif. Get us both the usual." They both took their seats as Tifa disappeared back behind the bar. Riku apparently came here all the time with his friends.
"So Zex, are you finally going to tell me what happened? I drag you here and you haven't said a word since I found you on the couch." Zexion sat with his arms crossed, his fingernails digging into his upper arms. He had his eyes glued to the bar and muttered something Riku couldn't hear.
"What was that?"
"I said he's straight! Okay?" Zexion exploded but regretted it a moment later mumbling an apology as he made a pillow for his heavy head with his arms.
"Oh." Was all Riku could say before Tifa came back with two beers and a plate of nachos. "Thanks Tif."
"No problem. What's wrong with your friend there?" She gestured toward Zexion who was still buried in his arms.
"Oh, that's my cousin Zexion. Romance issues."
"Ah, okay. Well, I won't pry."
"That's a first."
"Don't be an asshole, Ri." She scolded playfully as she once again headed to the back. Riku chuckled and told Zexion to drink his beer.
"It will make you feel better." Zexion took a tentative sip and rested his head on his fist, his silver, blue hair falling in front of his face.
"I don't know what to do, Riku."
"I know, I know. That's exactly why we are here." Riku pointed out, shoving nachos in his mouth.
"And then, and then I just walked out. I am such a waste of space. I should just go home and waste myself right now." Zexion ranted quietly, his chin touching his chest. He had had quite a few drinks by now and was a little out of it.
"Awww, come on man!" Riku exclaimed as he roughly slapped him on the back. "It ain't the end of the world! Ahahahah!" Riku threw his head back and laughed almost throwing himself off the bar stool. . . . . he'd had more to drink than Zexion and was completely wasted.
"No. I am useless." Just then some drunkard in the back of the bar flung chicken fingers in a fit of drunken laughter, sending them straight into the back of Zexion's head. Zexion looked down at the mutilated chicken through his fringe and went back to drinking.
"Hey, man! Are you gonna do anything about that asshole?"
"No. I deserved it. Because I am a horrible human being and I deserve to have chicken hurled at my head." Tifa walked up to the two from behind the bar and surveyed them quickly.
"Okay boys. You've been here nearly the whole day and are drunk as skunks. I think you should leave."
"Awww Tif! We-we are FINE! We c-can have a few mooooore!"
"No. It's okay if she throws us out. I'm probably taking her air unnecessarily anyway."
Tifa looked like she wanted to say something else but she stayed silent, watching them both with concern. Zexion stumbled off the stool and almost ran into the door on the way out, dragging an obnoxious, protesting Riku out the door.
Zexion woke the next day with a horrible hangover. He felt like he had spent the night getting run over by a steam roller. Groaning, he stumbled his way to the bathroom to take a shower, his thoughts barely coherent. All he knew was that he needed one. He smelled like smoke and alcohol and what might be garbage. But he guessed they were lucky. With the way they had been drinking, it was a miracle they made it home, let alone into their own beds.
Zexion stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Now, the pain killers. He practically ripped the medicine cabinet door off, as he grabbed the aspirin and dry-swallowed it, gagging. As long as it stops the horrible pounding in my head. He made his way back to his room and pulled on jeans and a random shirt. He needed caffeine and fast.
"Fucking shit!" Oh, Riku must be awake then, by the muffled string of swear words coming from the next room. Zexion sluggishly walked downstairs to the kitchen, soon followed by Riku who promptly collapsed onto a kitchen chair.
"My head hurts so bad." Riku groaned, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes.
"Which is why I'm making coffee." Zexion put a fresh pot of water into the coffee maker and sat across from Riku.
"I don't even remember coming home."
"That makes two of us." Zexion huffed and leaned the side of his head on his fist.
"Don't you have work today?" Riku looked up at him, his aquamarine eyes blood-shot.
"Yeah, but I'm not going. I could see him." Zexion swallowed roughly and looked at the shiny tiled floor.
"You have to go sometime. You can't avoid it forever if you don't want to live in a cardboard box somewhere."
"I heard boxes are lovely this time of year. . ."
"Okay, fine. I'll go. But only for you."
Zexion slowly trudged down the sidewalk towards his parked car, his head low. He dug in his pockets, pulled out his keys and prepared for the short drive over to the practice. He tried to make his mind blank as his small, silver, compact car slid down the streets of Destiny Islands, warm tropical air drifting through the windows. Just until he could immerse his thoughts in files and patients. He pulled into the cramped parking lot, violet eyes scanning the spaces for Lexaeus' crimson sports car. There. Zexion groaned as he spotted Lexaeus himself walking through the front door. He took a deep breath to prepare himself.
Just don't look at him. You'll be fine. Okay let's go. Zexion took one last breath and opened the door, trying to look as confidant and nonchalant as possible. He he strutted across the pavement, head up, and walked into the waiting room. No patients had arrived yet, so the large, sterilized, and dreary waiting room was blissfully empty for the time being. He waved vaguely at the sliding glass doors blocking the reception desks and made a beeline for the heavy door leading to his office and the examination rooms. He if could just make it to his office he would be safe and he could drown his head in files. Gloriously distracting files.
One final obstacle. Going straight past Lexaeus' office without looking inside. But it really was no use. He should have guessed. It was like a gravitational force. The pull was irresistible. Especially when he heard soft voices coming from the slightly parted door. Zexion hung back and peeked inside
to wish he never ever worked at this practice.
There was Lexaeus. Pushing another man up against the sickeningly lavender wall. He was forcibly kissing the man and it certainly didn't look like anyone was resisting. He knew it was a man because he recognized him as a co-worker but he didn't want to identify his face. Not when he had been lied to.
Zexion slowly backed away, his face once again wiped clean of any emotion that was swirling through his heart. His back hit the opposite wall and he let out a quiet whimper, his face twisted slightly. He slid down the wall, gaudy wallpaper scraping his back, curling into himself as he hit the floor. He finally let silent tears run down his face, soaking his knees and the hair that got in the way. Silent sobs wracked his body as he sat there for who knows how long.
"Dr. Emmet are you alright? Why weren't you at work yesterday? Mansex is going to have your head for breakfast." Zexion's head snapped up to see the concerned face of another co-worker, Cloud. Zexion stood up and pushed past him, tears still streaming down his face, as Cloud looked after him, hand reached out, cerulean eyes widened. All Zexion could do was hide his tear stained face behind his silver fringe and he ran. He didn't know where, but he just ran.
He ran past several offices and examination rooms. He ran past the now crowded waiting room and the reception desk. ("Dr. Emmet, wait! You have an appointment in five minutes!") He ran past his little silver car and the parking lot all together. He just ran. He didn't know where, but he just ran.
When you've just had your heart broken for a second time in two days,
What else is there to do?
A/N: And there's the first chapter. Reviews please! Once you will get a recognition and a virtual marimo if you do! (My marimo Jo says hi.) I'll have the next one up on Zemyx day! (Monday)
Thanks to all my lovely readers!