Warning: Rated M for suggestive comments.


Suggestive Advice
I do not own Naruto.




"I don't get it," Ino finally stated, taking a sip of her water. "So you have to play—Mmf!"

"Shut UP, pig," Sakura hissed, releasing her hand from the blonde's mouth after receiving a rather nasty glare. "Someone might hear you."

"Don't be a prude," she sniffed, crossing her arms. "It's not like anyone's going to judge you."

"That's so not the point."

"So your teacher wants you to basically masturbate—"




"Whoa, what about vaginas?" Kiba interrupted, having eavesdropped on the conversation. The brunette plopped in the seat next to the now red-faced Sakura, who looked utterly mortified.

"Sakura's taking a Women's Sexuality class," Ino stated, causing Kiba to choke on the apple he had bitten into. "Her homework assignment is to play with her vagina for a month and record the experience."

Said girl groaned in embarrassment.

"Holy shit!"

"Go away, Suigetsu," Sakura whined, head still buried in her arms. She looked up and glared at her best friend who smiled cheekily. "Can you talk any louder?"'

"Of course I can."

"It was a rhetorical question, pig."

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Touchy, touchy," Ino half-sang.



"Need a study buddy?" Suigetsu asked, grinning. "You can do the homework and I'll keep a log."

"Oh," Kiba winked. "Another set of eyes."

"This is totally not the time," Sakura groaned. "Ino, stop laughing."

"Well, you do need some help," Ino answered innocently.

"Another set of eyes? I don't get it," the silver-haired boy stated, confused.

"Since you're keeping a log, aren't you just going to watch?"

"He might like the hands-on aspect…" Ino suggested.

"Guys… seriously?"

"I was talking about a different kind of log."

Suigetsu smirked.

"Nice," the other two commented in unison.



"Suigetsu, go away before I kill you," Sakura threatened, unamused.

"Yeah, just like that," he all but purred. "I love it when you talk dirty."

"… Get out."

Suigetsu laughed, thoroughly mussing up her hair before walking off.

"Call me if you need any help! I'll gladly tutor you!"


"Bitch…" Sakura muttered.




"Oi, Sakura-chan!"

"Why do people show up when you're in an embarrassing situation?" Sakura muttered, sighing.

"People feed off your misery, forehead," Ino replied brightly, resting her head on her hands. "Just be thankful that it's only Naruto, usually Sasuk—oops! Never mind."

"Spoke too soon," Kiba chuckled. "Anyway, I promised to meet Shino in the Science building. Have fun in class tomorrow, hope you find it stimulating!"

"Funny," Sakura commented dryly.

"You've got to admit, that was pretty clever."




"Hey! Did you need help?" Naruto asked, pulling out a chair to sit down and Sasuke following suit.

"With what?" Sakura eyed the two. "Who—"

"Suigetsu," Sasuke replied.

"Something about homework," the blonde shrugged, picking food off Sakura's plate. "Said you had an assignment and needed help getting started."

Ino stifled a laugh, forcing herself to cough instead.

Sakura blushed.

"I don't need any help."

"Don't worry!" Naruto waved her off. "I cheat off teme all the time. He'll be glad to help you!"

"Stop speaking for me, dobe."

"It's fine… really, guys," Sakura said, embarrassed. "I'll figure it out."


"If you say so…" Naruto trailed off, spotting a piece of paper sticking out of one of her textbooks. "Is this what you needed help on?" He pulled the sheet out much to Sakura's protest. "Women's Sex—hey!"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered, scanning the paper in his hands before it was torn rather violently from his grip.

"Like I said," Sakura repeated, flustered. "It's fine."




"I didn't even get to see anything!" Naruto complained. "Why are you taking a Women's Sex class?"

"It's Women's Sexuality," Sakura corrected. "There's a difference."

"Sex, sexuality… same thing," he shrugged.

"They're offering you help Sakura," Ino said, "you might as well accept."

"And you're not helping," she accused. "Cut it out." Sakura sighed, gathering up her textbooks. "Now if you'll excuse me—"



"Sakura." It was Sasuke.


"Don't be stupid, if you need help then just ask," Sasuke said bluntly, handing her the pencil she dropped which she snatched away angrily.

"I told you already—" She started, ready to lash out again.

"Or better yet…"

Sakura flushed, feeling his heated gaze.


"Let me do the homework for you."

She froze, her mouth gaped open in surprise.

"You—! You saw!" Sakura stuttered, feeling a mix of humiliation and horror.

He smirked.




"I don't get it," Naruto finally said, breaking the silence. "She won't learn anything if you do it for her."

"Shut up, Naruto."


Author's Note: Inspired by a conversation with a bunch of my friends... this assignment is real, I kid you not. That, along with staring at yourself in the mirror naked for twenty-minutes and writing down what you see. Oh, the joys of college. I apologize for any innocent minds that I've accidentally tainted...

Opinions/comments are always appreciated! Hope that everyone is having a good start to the school year!