Title: Believing Rumors 1/4
Summary: Jamie Kirk is 28, Starfleet's youngest captain, in love with her first officer – and a virgin. But the grapevine buzzes with stories of her promiscuity, and Spock chooses to believe the rumors – until a planet that equates virginity with childhood shows him just how wrong he is.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, and I do not make any money from these fictions.
Three years after the events of ST Reboot…
"Captain!" Sulu yells, and Jamie turns towards his voice – just in time to see a spear headed straight for her heart. Her life does not pass before her eyes – nothing so cliché. But three thoughts do go through her mind.
One: 'Bones is going to kill me.' Two: 'I can't believe I'm going to die a virgin.'
Three: 'I wish I had told Spock that I love him.'
And then a blue blur throws itself between her and mortal peril – and blue eyes lock with brown. All Jamie can do is catch Spock before he hits the ground, though she struggles under his heavy weight. The spear meant for her heart is imbedded in his back right below his shoulder – thankfully far from any major organs, but Jamie cannot help the panic and guilt she feels at the thought of Spock hurt on her behalf.
And then the familiar feeling of her molecules being scrambled (she knows she keeps Sulu around for a reason, he always comms Scotty for beam up at the critical moment) – and the welcome face of her Bones, waiting in the transporter room, and taking Spock into his capable hands. She knows Spock will be fine, now – her chief medical officer is the best in the fleet, and he will fix their first officer right up in no time.
"Are you alright, Captain?" Sulu asks, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Jamie responds with a strained smile. "I wasn't the one hurt, after all."
Her helmsman looks at her with far too knowing eyes, but does not contradict her.
Jamie wonders when she became so transparent.
Three days later…
Jamie waits until Spock is fully healed and out of sickbay, and then she asks to reschedule their weekly game of chess – missed because the away mission took place their usual night, and Spock was sleeping in sickbay when they would normally be playing. Spock acquiesces, and invites her to his quarters at 2100.
She concentrates on her breathing as she requests access to his room. Her first officer opens the door manually, rather than using the computer – Spock does that sometimes. Jamie wonders sometimes whether she should protest the way he opens doors for her – but she does not know whether he does it because she is female or because she is his captain, so she refrains from commenting.
"Hey," Jamie greets, somehow managing to keep the nerves out of her voice.
"Good evening, Captain," Spock replies, leading her towards the table with the chess set. It is already set up for their game.
She sits, staring down at the white pieces in front of her.
"Call me Jamie," she absently corrects, and he nods in assent.
"I…I'm glad you're okay, Spock," Jamie admits softly. "And I know I've said it already, but thanks for saving me."
"It was logical," her first officer responds. "The spear was aimed towards your heart – most assuredly fatal. I received minor wounds in comparison. Additionally, it is the duty of the first officer to ensure the captain's safety."
"I know," she says with a small smile. "But thanks anyway."
Spock simply nods, and waits for her to make the first move (in chess).
Jamie decides to take the opening to admit her feelings. She faces near-death experiences far more often than Bones is truly comfortable with – but something about the last encounter really shook her. Perhaps it was the thoughts that crossed her mind right before what she thought was the end. She decides that she does not want to die with any regrets.
Bones will want to kill her regardless of the way she goes – but Jamie can admit to Spock that she loves him, and hopefully he can help take care of regret number two…
One hour later…
"Bones..." Jamie whispers softly, wrapping her arms around her best friend and hiding her face in his shoulder.
"Yes, Jamie?" the doctor acknowledges, all grump gone as he hugs her back, unable to resist the vulnerability in her voice even as the wetness of her tears reaches through his shirt to his skin.
"Spock...Spock thinks I'm a slut," she admits, a sob catching in her throat as she just hugs her Bones tighter. What would she do without him?
"Oh, darlin'..." he cannot help but clutch her closer, as if he could shield her from everything in the universe that wishes to hurt her.
"I'm 28 and I'm still a virgin and the being I love most in the galaxy thinks I'm an untrustworthy whore. I thought...I thought he was different, Bones. How...what do I do now?" she cries, and each hitching breath is like a dagger to his heart.
"Did you try to tell him the truth, Jamie?" he asks her softly. "If he knew the truth..."
"He didn't let me!" she interrupts him, voice muffled as her face is still pressed tight to his shoulder. "I...I told him I loved him, and he told me that I would make an 'unacceptable mate' as my 'promiscuous history' reduces the probability of my successfully 'committing to a monogamous relationship'."
And Bones knows exactly which are her words, and which belong to the green-blooded hobgoblin - and it makes him want to hit the cold-blooded bastard. Jamie's been through so much in her life - she doesn't deserve this. She's so vulnerable, sometimes, though she hides it behind false confidence and a quick grin. And the one person she trusted to really open up to...
Bones pushes those thoughts out of his mind, concentrating on holding his Jamie-girl in the here and now. And all he can do is clutch her closer and rub her back as she cries.
6 months later...
"Greetings," Captain Kirk says as she bows to the leader of the Facloxes.
The leader does not bow back, and Jamie's eyes widen at the snub.
"You are Captain Kirk?" one of the advisors questions, his antennae vibrating madly - and she has absolutely no clue why they are doing that, so she cuts her eyes to Uhura even as she nods the affirmative to the advisor. Her communications officer just gives a subtle shake of her head in response - she does not know either.
"Our Leader cannot speak with you as you are - how does the Federation allow a Child to be a Leader? It is not done," the advisor continues, orange skin shining bright under the planet's red sun. And Jamie stills, because she knew this could happen - it was in the mission brief, but she did not think that they would be able to tell just by looking at her.
Child in this culture means Virgin. One is a Child until they completed full sexual intercourse, after which they were initiated into adult society. A Faclox could not get a job, let alone become a Leader, without losing his or her virginity.
Goddamn it - they would not get any negotiations done if she could not be taken seriously. But how the hell could they tell?
"I see..." she responds after a moment or two of silence elapses. "My First Officer Spock will continue negotiations in my absence. I apologize for any inconvenience."
"No, no! This must not be allowed. Faclox cannot join the Federation if a Child is allowed to captain its most powerful ship. You will undergo the rite of adulthood, or you may take your crew with you and depart," the advisor tells her, even as his leader remains silent, his disapproving gaze weighing on her heavily.
Meanwhile, her away team is staring at her with disbelief and confusion, as if they cannot believe what the advisor is implying - if his bold statement can even be called an implication. Uhura and Cupcake and Chapel and three fucking ensigns from security...and Spock, of course. She closes her eyes in humiliation. Then she opens them in determination. She is Captain Jamie Kirk, and fuck it, the Federation needs this First Contact. She can do her duty, no matter what it may be.
"I will undergo your rite of adulthood," she assures the leader, even knowing that she should not even be addressing him because of her "state."
Then she snaps open her communicator.
"Captain Kirk to the Enterprise," she says firmly, ignoring the many eyes watching her every movement.
"Aye, Cap'n," Scotty's heavy brogue responds.
"Patch me through to Doctor McCoy," she orders, firm determination in her words.
"What?" Bones grumps, without so much as a "Hello, Captain. Yes, Captain. What do you need, Captain?"
It makes her smile - she cannot help it.
"I need you to beam down and make me a woman, Bones," Jamie says without a hint of shame - she refuses to be shamed, she has done absolutely nothing wrong.
"W-what?" the doctor sputters. "Goddammit, Jamie - you cannot just say things like that!"
"No!" the advisor interrupts. "No beaming up or down! If you agree to the rite of adulthood, it must be done here. To reaffirm the Federation's commitment to Faclox, and to honor our traditions. You must pick one of close or equal standing from amongst your crew or the Faclox delegation."
And Jamie looks into the advisor's dark purple eyes, and she knows exactly what he wants...To be the one chosen to take her virginity.
Well fuck that - she refuses to fuck him! And though she wants to call him out on his perverted thoughts, she simply reassures Bones that everything is okay and she will work it out - all the while trying to ignore the colorful cursing coming through her communicator.
"Captain...Jamie? Jamie, you better not hang up on me, darlin'! I will spank your ass when you get back on this ship!" her doctor threatens, and it brings a smile to her lips even as she flips the communicator closed without a response.
"None of my crew is of equal standing," she informs the advisor, keeping her tone firm. "I am Captain. I am Leader. Sexual history has no bearing on adulthood in the Federation - we define maturity through other actions."
"We will not deal with a Child. And you have agreed to undergo your rite of adulthood - it must take place. Tonight. If none amongst you now holds close standing, then I would be happy to assist you in the ritual, Jamie," the advisor informs her - and man, the guy just sexually propositioned her in front of her crew and the leader of his planet, and she does not even know his fucking name!
"Captain," Spock states firmly, taking a step forward to stand at her side as his dark eyes bore into the advisor that just offered to take her virginity, as if it would be a favor to her. "Her title is Captain, and it is inappropriate for you to call her by her given name is such circumstances. And it is not true that no crew member holds equal standing with the captain - as first officer and science officer, as well as a son to the House of Surak, my position in Federation society is comparable to that of the average captain."
"Spock!" she whirls around, glaring at him and speaking in a low whisper. "Doctor McCoy is also of comparable standing - as Chief Medical Officer, he has the ability to remove me from duty if necessary. I was going to ask for permission to have him beamed down, goddamn you!"
"That will not be necessary, Captain," Spock replies serenely. "I will do my duty as first officer and assist you with the ritual."
"Then it is settled," the Leader finally speaks, nodding in approval towards Jamie and Spock. "Your first officer will be your Initiator into the ways of adulthood. My aide will assist you to your room - I hope that we will be able to negotiate successfully on the morrow."
And with that, the Leader pivots and leaves the room - and most of his advisors and aides and security goes with him. Leaving only the advisor that propositioned Jamie, one uncomfortable aide shifting from one foot to the other, and Captain Jamie Kirk and her landing party.
She is so fucked - literally, this time. (Next time, Bones is beaming down with her - no matter how much he complains about the transporter.)
Jamie follows the aide silently, Spock at her side, as they enter the bedroom. Her eyes immediately alight on the bed - it looks big enough to hold a ten-person orgy, with some space left over. She refuses to look over at Spock.
"I will return in the morning to officially acknowledge the completion of the rite," the aide says nervously, glancing between Jamie and Spock. "The drawers are stocked with the appropriate assistance, if so desired."
And then he leaves, and Jamie is left alone in the giant, luxurious bedroom with only her first officer as company. She jumps in shock as her communicator goes off - and yes, it is Bones. And though she is not looking forward to whatever her best friend has to say, it is better than standing in awkward silence with Spock.
"Hey, Bones," she greets, trying to make herself sound cheerful.
"Do you 'Hey, Bones,' me, missy!" the doctor replies immediately. "Scotty says that the Facloxes are refusing to allow any people to be beamed up or down until some goddamn ritual is complete. Do you want to fill me in?"
"No," she responds honestly. "I really, really don't. But I want you to be down here, so you can be my 'Initiator', or whatever the hell they call it. This one advisor totally wanted me to choose him, but then *Spock* offered himself, and now..."
"Breathe," Bones orders, sounding worried. "Slow down."
"On Faclox, a person is considered a 'Child' until they lose their virginity - and a 'Child' cannot hold any serious position in society. They...somehow they knew, and now they are refusing to deal with me until I undergo their fucking ritual of adulthood, and they won't let me beam you down to be my...my person," Jamie admits, feeling herself flush in embarrassment at both the words and Spock's gaze, heavy on her back.
"Fuck!" the doctor shouts.
"Bones...I really wish you were here," she whispers softly, hating the vulnerability she cannot keep from her voice. "I need you."
"Oh, Jamie-girl...I would be there if I could, you know that. But Scotty says that the Faclox have some sort of transporter-detection field up right now - they would know right away if anyone is beamed up or down," Bones tells her, his tone reassuring, and it makes her feel a little better - to know he is there for her, emotionally if not physically.
"Spock..." she wants to continue, explain to Bones how she is feeling, but her first officer is right there in the room. Not that it really matters - he already knows how she feels about him, and she already knows how he feels about that.
"Yes, Captain?" Spock questions, as if she was addressing him, rather than just trying to explain the fucked-up situation to her best friend.
"I...I'm going to go to the bathroom to...get ready," she says, aiming the words at both men.
"Let me speak to Spock, Jamie," Bones orders more than asks, really - but his tone is gentle, and she really does not have the energy to refuse.
So she hands the communicator to her first officer, and slips through the ornate door she did not enter though, hoping it is a bathroom. It is...and it is also soundproof, so she has absolutely no idea what her two officers are speaking about on the other side...
"Listen to me, Spock, and listen well - if you hurt her, I will remove your balls with a dull, rusty old scalpel, do you hear me?" the doctor threatens, and Spock feels a hint of anger before he ruthlessly suppresses it.
The doctor is not the only one who...cares for the captain - Spock would protect her with his life, and not only because of duty.
Because she is his friend, understanding and kind, and she brings out emotions in him that he has spent his entire life attempting to deny. He has longed to return her regard, but believed it to be only fleeting - he does not wish to invest his deep Vulcan desires in any entanglement that is not to be for life. But Spock illogically listened to rumors regarding her sexual exploits - he believed that even if only a small fraction of them were true, it would substantially reduce the probability that Jamie could successfully engage in a permanent romantic partnership.
And then that advisor, mere hours ago, disproved Spock's preconceived notions with a few words. His captain is a virgin, and thus none of the rumors are true, and as she has waited 28 years to find someone worthy enough of her regard, it is very likely that Jamie's first lover will also be her last.
It is for this reason that he cannot allow any other to be her first - especially Doctor McCoy, who is already close to her emotionally through their friendship.
"Spock? Spock! You pointy-eared hobgoblin, this is important, so fucking listen to me!" the human's harsh tone breaks through Spock's thoughts, and he focuses his attention on the doctor once more.
"I am listening," he responds blandly.
"You damn better be, because if you hurt her..." the doctor lets the threat trail off, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to give you a few rules, and you are going to follow them, or Jamie will never let you touch her again - and we both know that is the last thing you want."
Spock pushes down his shock, but before he can refute the doctor's statement, the man continues.
"One - Jamie's hymen is still intact. She refused to let me surgically remove it, so it's going to cause her a bit of pain when you first penetrate her. You damn better be gentle," Doctor McCoy orders. "Two - I don't know what stupid kinky shit you're into, and I don't want to know, but you will keep it away from her. It's her first time, and it's not under the best of circumstance, and she doesn't need anything but vanilla, got it? No toys, no chains, no dominance issues - you let her set the pace."
"Doctor McCoy, I have successfully engaged in sexual relations in the past. I do not need your 'rules'," Spock interjects, hoping to break the man's tirade.
"Three," the doctor continues without pause. "You will not ejaculate on her - not on her back, or her breasts, or her stomach, and especially not on her face. You pull out and ejaculate on the bed or across your hand or wherever else you want, but none of it better touch her. Spock..."
The doctor ceases speaking, sounding resigned. Spock hears him take another deep breath, and then...
"Spock, that right there? That is the rule. Just...don't ejaculate on her, okay? I have no idea how she would react if it was inside her, so as far as that goes let her set the pace, but if it touches her skin...She will freak out, and her first time with you will forever be associated with some really, really bad memories. She'll tell you when she's ready, so don't ask, but just...don't, okay?" the doctor finishes, and he is obviously waiting for a response, but Spock does not know what to say.
He wishes to ask about this rule - he wants to know what unpleasant memories would make the captain react negatively to the feel of semen on her skin. But Spock hears the door to the bathroom start to open, so he does not ask.
"Affirmative," he simply replies, and Doctor McCoy lets out a breath of what Spock believes to be relief - and then hangs up.
"Spock...?" the captain - Jamie, she is Jamie now - calls to him.
He turns to respond, but the words will not come - illogically, he feels as if his tongue has been glued to the roof of his mouth. She is covered by only a simple green, sheer robe, which falls about six inches above her knees. He can clearly see the outline of her breasts - and especially her nipples, which have tightened from either the cool of the room or perhaps anticipation. (He hopes it is anticipation.)
"Spock?" she says again, sounding uncertain. "Stop...stop looking at me like that. I...the robe was in the bathroom, okay? And I figure this way you won't have to see me. I can just...lift the hem a bit, and you can get down to business, and then we will be done. We can...we can spend the rest of the night playing chess or something."
"Illogical, Captain - we do not possess a chess board," Spock responds.
Jamie's face flushes - with either anger or embarrassment, Spock cannot discern. Perhaps he should have instead addressed her statement that they would engage in sexual intercourse while she was clothed - however provocative the article of clothing.
"I...well then we can just sleep, okay? I figure you probably have to, you know...for the ritual to be completed. So how long do you estimate it will take, Commander?" she asks him, the flush fading as she speaks to him as if they are on the bridge, and she needs to know how long his instruments need to collect data before the Enterprise can go into warp.
He refuses to allow her to make this a simple professional duty.
"Approximately 5.34 hours, *Jamie*," he responds, stressing the use of her given name.
She just looks at him with wide blue eyes for a second, before closing her eyes and taking a deep, shaky breath. And then she throws herself face first on the bed, spreading her legs. The robe barely covers her generous buttocks.
"Well, then, *Commander* - you better get to it. We have to be done before the advisor comes back in the morning," she mumbles into a pillow, wrapping her arms around it and hugging it close to her face.
Jamie stiffens, burying her face deeper in the pillows and waiting for Spock's response. God, why couldn't Bones have beamed down with her? He would know exactly what to do - he always knows exactly what to do. And maybe he could even give her a painkiller, because she knows that this is going to hurt...
"Captain..." Spock's voice cuts through her thoughts, and he seems much closer than he was a moment ago. "I refuse to simply 'get to it'. Doctor McCoy informed me that your hymen is still intact, and as such any haste may cause you significantly more pain than necessary. Thus, I estimate that 5.34 hours will be needed to provide you with the optimal sexual experience."
And god, how is it fair that he can say things like that, and make her heart go crazy, and not love her back? He's her perfect guy, put right by her side to torture her with what she can never have. She sighs, releasing the pillow and sitting up in the bed, arranging her robe so it covers her as much as the scant material can.
"So what's the plan, Mr. Spock?" she asks, going for her typical smirk but knowing it probably comes out as a pained grimace.
"I will manually and orally stimulate you until I deem you are sufficiently prepared, and then we will proceed to proper sexual intercourse," he replies, brown eyes locking with hers, showing her just how serious he is about this statement.
"O-orally?" she squeaks, pulling her legs together tightly as if that would keep him out.
The idea titillates her, but also...how embarrassing! His hands (gorgeous as they are...) are one thing, but his mouth? Down there? She feels so exposed just thinking about it - thinking about him being able to see everything.
"Indeed," Spock affirms, slowly taking a step towards the bed, as if approaching a skittish animal that he does not wish to startle.
"Are you sure? Maybe...maybe we could just skip the stimulation and go right to the...the intercourse?" she asks timidly - and god, she hates herself like this.
She might be a virgin, but she's Jamie fucking Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise and all-around badass.
"No," Spock replies, shooting down her suggestion even as he perches on the edge of the bed, right near her feet.
She brings her legs up, squeezing her knees to her chest and laying her chin on top. God...why does this have to be so awkward? She really, really wants her Bones...
"I'm not taking the robe off," she tells him firmly, trying to regain her ground.
He just looks at her, before giving a small nod. Jamie cannot help but relax a bit, glad that he is not pushing.
"Should I remove my own garments, Jamie?" he asks her deferentially, and she feels a little flutter of arousal as she considers the question.
Spock naked? A part of her is waving its arms and screaming, 'Yes, yes, take it all off!' She shoves her inner sorority girl down, knowing that just the sight of Spock's penis will probably give her a panic attack.
"Just your shirt," she replies, thinking of the few times she has seen him topless - and enjoying the memories.
Spock nods his assent, stripping off his blue science tunic and black undershirt in one easy, unselfconscious movement. Jamie cannot help the blush that rushes to her face at the sight. He is lean, muscles not completely obvious but there, with his pale jade nipples hardening in the cool of the room. She can feel her own nipples tightening in response, and so Jamie pulls her knees up closer to her chest, trying to hide them. Her eyes focus on the dark hair trailing down into his uniform pants.
She sort of wants to lick him.
"I am going to remove my boots as well," he informs her, before doing just that.
And a little laugh escapes her, because not even Spock can make taking off the uniform boots look graceful or sexy. Even he looks awkward working at the laces, and the sight relieves some of the tension that built up at the removal of his shirts. Spock raises an eyebrow at her, but does not question her mirth. He simply lines up the boots and his socks at the foot of the bed, before turning to sit cross-legged across from her.
With bare feet...
Something in Jamie recoils, because she has never, ever seen Spock's bare feet before. There is something strangely intimate about it, about him - sitting across from her patiently, silently waiting for her to finish her assessment.
"Well?" she finally asks after another moment or two of looking at him.
"Are you ready to proceed?" Spock asks her, and there is something in his tone that can only be described as *gentle*.
It makes her want to scream – with frustration. Which is probably not his intent.
"I'm not china, you know!" Jamie yells, letting go of her knees and glaring at him. "I'm not going to...to break! I can fucking take it, so just...just fucking do...mmph!"
He cuts her off with a firm, but chaste, kiss. Her eyes are open the entire time, and so are his, and they don't look away even as Spock pulls back.
"Oh..." she trails off, unsure what to say. She brings a hand to her lips.
"Indeed," her first officer responds after she does not continue.
Jamie closes her eyes, and contemplates what a bad, bad idea all of this is, and how there is no way she is getting out of this without having her heart broken into a million and one pieces. And she will have to report to the bridge every day, and sit in the captain's chair, and Spock will be right there, at his station, unaffected and unemotional as ever.
Because of the two of them, there is only one who is going to be hurt by this, and it certainly is not him.