Hello people of the fanfiction world! I have no idea where this came from. Just kinda popped out of my head and I thought "Hey why not!" It was so much fun getting into Sue's head and I hope it sounds like stuff she would say. I'll update this as often as I can, I don't know how often that'll be, but hopefully we can just go with it! But I ramble to much. ON WITH THE STORY!

DISCLAIMER: I sadly don't own Glee. Don't remind, it makes me depressed.

September 1, 2010

Dear Journal,

Today something truly wonderful happened. The first day of school. I missed the smell of fear and the occasional high pitch terrified whale that would echo when I walked down the halls. And to think I have gone almost 3 months without insulting the abomination that is Will Schuster's hair. I passed William this morning and adamantly told him that the thing on his head looked like it carries all the junk and garbage of a polluted Mexican coastline destroying the planet. No one wants the planet destroyed journal, earth is the only place in which your own Sue Sylvester resides. And who would want to live in a world with out me?

Well journal I must say goodbye for now. Cheerios tryout are in an hour and I want to grab a protein shake so I have the energy to try and beat my record of most people sent home crying after a rigorous 3 hour elimination process with Sue Sylvester. Record to beat: 8

September 2, 2010

Well Journal we have a new record standing. Most number of children sent home crying after Cheerios tryouts: 11! I knew this day would come journal. Words cannot express the inner joy I feel at this newly bestowed record! I was so happy that I when I walked home I didn't bother kicking the hobo I saw in the street. That good of a mood.

But yet journal the day was bitter sweet. What with glee club still taking a portion of my precious budget! Why journal did I convince Figgins to reinstate the glee club? Granted I do get another year of guiltlessly tormenting Will Schuster, saying that his hair is nothing more that then reminisce of a badly scared emotionally deprived hair dresser taking revenge for his failure in life on Will's head of hair.

So Sue Sylvester has made a plan. A gorgeously thought out highly effective plan to make sure that the next months are nothing but a living hell to Will Schuster. I will not rest until my full budget is restored!

September 3, 2010

I have though of the newest number for nationals! I am going to have Lady Face sing a "mash up" (I learned that term while co-captain of glee club) of the international hit "Ridin Dirty" and Sue Sylvester's personal favorite "Letterbomb"

I will keep the other specifics of the routine a secret. What if the competition were to snatch you away like a hoard of angry spazing monkey ninjas journal? That would not sit right with me at all. So for now it remains a secret.

September 4. 2010

All I have is two words and then some number: Sylvester/Palin 2012

September 5, 2010

I pine for the day when my sabotage of the freaks that are glee club can start. I have decided to lull them all into a false sense of security. For two weeks I will not so much as insult or spare a sideways glance at the gleeks! With the exception of William's hair, because I can not stand back and watch him shove baby seal fat into his head. It's gross and perverse and that decent boad well with Sue Sylvester!

My latest cultural economic and cultural breakthrough is that I should develop an app for cruelty. I would call it iCruelty! 101 ways to torture your kids, spouses, and the random guy who sleeps outside your house for only $2.99! Who could pass up an offer like that?

AN/ and I realized I didn't get accurate with that dates, but I don't care and I'm to lazy to go back and change it! =) PLEASE REVIEW! It would make me ever so happy!