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Slash...a lot of slash and sex.

If you're not into that, then don't read it.

This is the first of my stories where I am going to go THAT far.

I'm kind of nervous as to how people will interpret it...

Reviews are love.

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"Love cannot save you from your own fate."

-Jim Morrision

Chapter 1, Part 1

A New Couple

Skwisgaar sighed as he took his seat at the breakfast table and let out a startlingly large yawn, not even bothering to cover his mouth. He hadn't slept at all last night. Nathan glanced over at him and growled, "What's wrong with you?"

"I did nots get sleep last night."

Across the table, Murderface let out a scoff and lisped, "Chea right. Don't lie, Shkwishgar. It was all thoshe German chicksh you were fucking with lasht night."

He shook his head. "No, it was not being thats. It was-"

Suddenly the door opened and Pickles stepped in with Toki following close behind. Skwisgaar glared over at them both. It was nots the German girls, it is THAT.

Neither of the two men noticed the awkwardness, or if they did they blatantly chose to ignore it. Especially Pickles, who plopped down in the chair next to Murderface, grabbed the collar of Toki's shirt, and pulled him closer to him. He gave Toki a firm kiss on the lips said, "Hey, before you sit down would you mind getting me a beer?"

Toki nodded, "Okays. Hold ons."

"Yeah, yeah," Pickles said in an almost irritated way as he crossed his arms and sighed. "Boy, what a hell of a night. I slept great."

Skwisgaar had to bite his bottom lip until his eyes watered to stop himself from saying something particularly nasty to him. Who—or what—did he think Toki was? Skwisgaar shifted in his seat uncomfortably, looking down. He had come to a very startling realization, one that he hated to think about. He couldn't help thinking about it, though, not whenever he saw Toki.

He had realized that he loved Toki. He loved him more than he had loved anyone in the whole world—perhaps even himself, and this was saying a lot considering the fact that Skwisgaar was one of the more selfish members of the band. As he thought about this, he began rapping his fingers distractedly on the table, trying to think of anything else other than what he had dreamed last night. It had been wrong. Very wrong...

At the hungry look that Pickles was giving the innocent Toki, Nathan shuttered. He glared over at the drummer and said warningly, "Hey, quit pulling that shit at the table. It's not metal."

As Toki came back and handed Pickles his beer, he said, "Pickle, ams we still doings lunch together? Just you and mes?"

He glanced up at him, his green eyes shining with desire. "Huh? Yeah, whatever, but after the girls come over."

Murderface perked up. "Girlsh? Girlsh are coming over?"

He nodded. "Hell yeah."

Toki's face fell. "But you saids that-"

"Toki, listen, I love you and all, but sometimes I need to-"

"Love other people toos?"

Pickles frowned and anxiously glanced around at all the others sitting around the table. They watched with mixtures of curiosity and disgust as he reached over and took a firm slap to Toki's rear. He opened his arms and said, "Come on and sit in my lap."

Skwisgaar's hands curled into fists as he looked down, trying to hide the look of rage on his face. Toki unfortunately saw past this and asked as he sat down in Pickles' lap, "What wrong, Skwisgaar? Ams you sick?"

"Yeah," Nathan agreed. "sick...kinda like how I feel about this whole thing."

Murderface, who was watching Pickles and Toki closely and almost suspiciously—ever since Pickles had asked Toki out, Murderface had expressed concern in catching what he called 'The Gay'-asked, "What shituashon?"

"Oh, just let us be gettings the elephant out of the rooms now!" Skwisgaar blurted. Pickles glared over at him and took a sip from his beer.

"Yeah, I don't get the big deal that you guys are makin'," he said. "It's totally normal, what we're doing..." Just to prove a point, he turned to Toki and instructed, "Kiss me."

Toki leaned close to him but hesitated, his lips curled into a look of detest. "But you knows that I don'ts like to kiss yous after yous been drinking. It tastes likes alcohols and gross."

Pickles ignored this, however, and forced his mouth against Toki's. Neither resisted once it was done, but Toki pulled away quicker than he had the first time that Pickles had kissed him. He stuck out his tongue in a childish look of disgust and repeated, "Ugh...tastes likes alcohol."

"Mmmm..." was all that Pickles said as his hands skillfully found their way up into Toki's shirt. Everyone watched, squirming with discomfort in their seats, as he ran his hands over the firm muscles of Toki's abs. "See? I don't see what you guys are always going on about. What's your big hang-up?"

Nathan looked down and said, trying not to meet his gaze, "Listen, being gay is not metal."

"Okay. So?" he asked as his hands traveled a little lower, into the front of Toki's pants. Skwisgaar looked away, his heart overflowing with hatred and jealously.

"So?" he asked. "So? Sos the points is that you is breaking the band aparts!"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, what Skwisgaar said. It's fucking sick, always having to sit here watching you touching him..."

Pickles scoffed and let his thumbs run along Toki's bare skin as his other fingers buried their way deeper into the other man's pants. "So what? I told you guys that we're...ya know, together now, so just get used to it."

Toki nodded and said in agreement, "Yeah, and besides, I love Pickle." he let is head rest on the drummer's shoulder. If he had been expecting a response to this, he never got one. Instead of responding, Pickles kissed the top of his head and wrapped his arms around Toki in a tight, possessive hug.

"Say, Toki?"

"Yes, Pickle?"

"Would you mind skipping breakfast for me?"

Toki frowned and arched a brow. Looking up at his lover, he asked, "Whys should I do that?"

"Because," Pickles said, leaning down and kissing his nose lightly. "I said so. Also because you know what I told you last night—about you getting fat."

"Hey, what'sh wrong with being fat?" Murderface cried from across the table. They all ignored him.

Skwisgaar watched, feeling his stomach twist in knots, as Toki nodded quickly and said, almost in a panicked way, "Yes, I dos, Pickle. You dont's wants me to gets fat, I know, I know. I'ms sort of hungries, though, so maybe just one little-"

"No." and he took another sip of beer and pressed the can into Toki's hand. "You can have some beer if you want, though."

"Oh, please don't get him drunk again," Nathan said with a sigh. Pickles glared over at him and took a sip from the can himself.

"I don't see a prablem with him bein' drunk. It's what makes him so fuckin' hot." and his hands dug their way out of Toki's pants, traveled down to the guitarist's lap, and rested there. The guitarist shifted a little and sighed in content.

This was the last straw. Skwisgaar could take it no longer. He slammed his hands against the table, got up, and said, "That's it. I'ms goings out on walk."

"No, waits! Skwisgaar, don't leaves! I needs you!"

The words made his heart turn to liquid fire and melt. Skwisgaar turned and, just out of acquired habit, glared at him. "Whys not?"

"Because," he said brightly. "You ams still having to give me guitar lesson, remember?"

And, for some stupid reason his heart filled with more warmth and Skwisgaar felt refreshed and re energized—despite what he had just seen. He motioned for Toki to follow him, saying in what he hoped was an unconcerned way, "Fines then. Let's go and give you your dildos guitar lesson."

"Wowee, reallys? Yesterdays I had to beg you to give me lesson!"

Skwisgaar's response to his childlike excitement was to roll his eyes and walk out the door, his shoulders slumped. Before following him, Toki gave Pickles one last, far too lengthy kiss on the lips. When he broke away and jumped off his lap, Pickles grabbed at his ass again and said warningly, "Remember, no eatin' till supper, okay?"

"Okays! See you later, Pickle! Loves you!" and he hurried out of the dining room and after Skwisgaar, grinning broadly.

Once he had left, Pickles shifted in his seat and let his head fall onto his hand. Nathan watched him, a brow raised and his mouth turned down in a look of utter disgust. He shuttered and looked down, muttering, "Ugh...fucking sick..."

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Chapter 1, Part 2

Toki's Lesson

Toki joined Skwisgaar in the living room and sat down on the couch next to him. Skwisgaar regarded him with a look of derision and asked, "So whats? I've been waiting here for what feels likes hours!"

Toki glared at him and retorted, "It has not been hour!"

He scoffed and glanced up at the T.V. "Whatevers. I'm just glad that you decided to finds it in your busy schedule to have lesson. In between fucking Pickle, it must be hard to finds the time."

Toki opened his mouth to say something, but just ended up looking down at his feet. He almost seemed ashamed as he finally said, "I don'ts understand why none of yous can just leaves us alone."

"Because it's not nice to sees him all over you all the times, dildo!" Skwisgaar said. He didn't realize that he was yelling until Toki looked at him in an alarmed way. This didn't stop him from continuing, "And Nathan ammnest taking you leaving him hards, too! Why do you gots to be such dick, always letting Pickle jack you off under the table like that? Why you gots to make it so obvious? It's...disgusting."

Of course, he hadn't meant to say disgusting. In his mind he thought silently, It's so fucking nice, but horrible at the same times...to watch him touching you like that and you likeings it and me wishing I was him...

God, he couldn't even think clearly when Toki was in the room, staring at him with those beautifully blue eyes...blue like the purest sapphires-no, better, one-thousand times better than the purest sapphires. They were so beautiful...

Toki's only response to these harsh words was to say quietly, "Why you cares so much what he does to me?"

Skwisgaar felt his face growing red as he said, "I do nots care, it's just that you not thinking about Nathans. You knows that you hurt him when yous ended it, but you still let Pickle-"

"I didn'ts love him like I loves Pickle; me and hims are made for each others."

The words cut into Skwisgaar so deeply that he literally winced. Yes, his heart was still beating, he observed, even though he felt it just being ripped out. He said nothing as he pulled his guitar into his lap. What he would give to have Toki laying in his lap like that guitar, staring up at him with those perfect, greyish-blue eyes, his mouth twisted up in one of his proud, childish smiles.

God, Skwisgaar thought as his fingers began automatically strumming at his Gibson, he is so innocent...so not rights for Pickle...

"What I play, Skwisgaar?"

He jumped a little at the sound of Toki's voice and asked dazedly, "Huh?"

"What ams I goings to play?"

"I...uh..." he glanced down at the work that his fingers were doing and frowned. His mind drew a blank as he said, "I...uh..." and he said the first thing that came to his mind, which was, "Paper tolls?"

Toki frowned and knitted his brows together in an absurd display of confusion. "Paper towel?" and he said offhandedly, "I can'ts have those because Pickle said I have to stay away from them carco-by-drates..." he said this more to himself than to Skwisgaar.

It didn't matter much anyway, because Skwisgaar was too busy pulling himself together. He shook himself and snapped irritably, "No, of course nots! Looks here, your fingers ammnest not even in the right place!"

Toki's fingers seemed to the guitar master to be everywhere at once. Skwisgaar wriggled his own fingers around and snapped, "Now looks where I puts mine and just follow and do what I ammnest doings."

"Like this?" he asked as he repositioned his fingers in an even worse way than before. Skiwsgaar shook his head impatiently.

"No, likes this—oh, just lets it go." and he reached forward and grabbed Toki's hands. He tried to keep his face from growing red as he positioned them on the guitar himself. Once they were in the right place, despite himself and the silent warnings that were screaming in his head, he still ran a quick finger along Toki's hand, relishing the closeness for a moment before pulling away again.

Then he cleared his throat and said with new found patience, "Okays, now let's trys again. This time don't be dildos, oka-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, one of the Klokateers walked through the room, a group of three fan girls following close behind. Upon seeing Skwisgaar and Toki sitting so casually on the couch with their guitars, the girls shrieked. They began pointing and yelling at them and giggling. The Klokateer let out a frustrated sigh and called, "Ladies, please! Master Pickles is waiting for you in the dining room! Please now, if you have another outburst like that, I'm afraid that we're going to have to take drastic measures and-"

"Oh, look how cute he is!" one of them, a skinny blond with large, nearly bare breasts said, pointing to Toki. "Toki Wartooth, marry me!"

He shook his head and blushed a little. "Um...no thanks you. I-"

"Skwisgaar, I LOVE you! Please let me have your child!" a brunette yelled. Skwisgaar rolled his eyes and glared at the Klokateer.

"Theys are disturbing me..." he began, a slight edge to his voice.

The Klokateer nodded quickly and escorted the girls into the other room. Just before the door closed the third fan girl, one with hair that was dyed red like Pickles', could be heard screaming excitedly, "Oh my God, Pickles! I love you!"

Through the thick walls of the mansion, Skiwsgaar perked up his ears and could faintly hear Pickles' response of, "Ladies, please, please, you can all have a turn. After all, we've got all day."

Once they had left the room, Skwisgaar glanced over at Toki, biting his lower lip nervously. "So...you didn't, uh...happen to hear tha-"

"Yeah, I heards." And Toki's once excited and illuminated eyes filled with sadness, hurt, and, perhaps worst of all, confusion. He swallowed hard and his eyes became overly bright. "What did I do wrongs? Ams I just not good enough..."

At the pain in Toki's voice, Skwisgaar felt his heart ripping. He scooted a little closer to Toki and said in what he hoped to be a supportive way, "No, you ammnest good enough."

"But you always saying that I is dildos."

"That's just me being you know, uh...stupids."

Suddenly Toki let out a little sob, but he immediately pressed his hands to his mouth. He turned red and lowered his head, ashamed with himself. "I...I...feels really bads inside."

"When you feels bad, so do I." Skwisgaar whispered a bit softer than he would've liked. He cleared his throat and said a bit more roughly, "Look, the lesson with the guitar and the musics ams over now." and, not knowing quite what else to say unless he wanted to spill out his whole heart, he got up and grabbed his Gibson.

Before leaving, he couldn't help but turn to Toki and say, "Uh...listen...Toki?"

"Humm?" he looked up, his eyes almost overflowing with tears.

"If you, you know, wants someone to talks to, then...you know where my rooms is."

Toki nodded and answered brokenly, "Ja, I knows where it is, but me and Pickle still ams having lunch later..."

Skwisgaar nodded. "Of course, just, you know. If you ever wants to talk, I guess you cans come and finds me."

"O-Okay. Thanks, Skwisgaar. You real pal."

Skwisgaar gave him a little smile and left the room, his heart feeling heavy with guilt and sorrow at the other man's sadness.

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Chapter 1, Part 3

The Most Pathetic Thing

Later that day, while everyone had gathered in the living room go unwind, Pickles came striding out of his room, smiling broadly. He plopped down on the couch with a sigh and glanced over at Toki. The guitarist was clearly trying very hard not to appear to be hurt or even noticed by Pickles. He just looked down and pickled at his nails. Pickles frowned at this.

Everyone in the room became rigid with anticipation as he called, "Hey, Toki, come here."

Skwisgaar was sitting next to Toki. They had been arguing over who should get the solo on the next album, but at the sound of Pickles' voice, everyone grew silent. Toki glanced over a Skwisgaar, a clear question in his eyes.

What should I do?

Skwisgaar could only swallow and turn his gaze to Pickles, who was staring at them. He repeated, "Hey, Toki, please come here."

Everyone watched as Toki turned to his lover and said, his voice full of pain, "I don't wants to be with you rights now, please."

Pickles' face fell; his grin disappeared, much to the satisfaction of Skwisgaar. "Toki, please," he begged.

Clearly he was drunk. Normally he would've just gotten up and went to meet Toki himself, but now he almost seemed cautious. Toki looked down at his half-picked nails and cleared his throat. Skwisgaar held his breath, begging that Toki would stay, but this silent wish came unanswered. The Norwegian got up and walked over to where Pickles was sitting. He collapsed onto the sofa stiffly, crossing his arms and looking away.

"You didn'ts meets me for lunch," was all he could say. Pickles scratched his head, looking quite like he didn't know what to say. His green eyes clearly showed a shared feeling of hurt and confusion.

Skwisgaar couldn't believe it. Pickles actually seemed hurt that Toki hadn't come to him immediately, that he hadn't jumped up and hugged him as soon as he had entered the room. He tried to get the lump out of his own throat as Toki continued, "And I skips breakfast for yous..."

Over in a corner of the room, Nathan let out a loud, clearly annoyed sigh and mumbled, "But you're still going to run back to him, you fucking prick..."

All Pickles had to say was, "Toki, come here."

And, not really to anyone's surprise, Toki fell into his arms and seemed to melt there. He hugged Pickles tight and buried his head in his shirt, biting back his emotions. Pickles seemed quite pleased with this as he began running his fingers through the Norwegian's long, brown hair. His other hand began caressing Toki's lower back, dangerously close to the hemline of his shirt, as he said, "I missed you today. You'll make up for it tonight."

Murderface glared over at Nathan and blurted, "Sheesh, look there, they're doin' it again! Make them shtop! It'sh dishgushting!"

"Yeah, well, don't look at it!" he yelled back before glaring at the giant T.V. Screen. Skwisgaar just continued staring at Toki, his heart filling with envy and sadness.

Why did he always run after Pickles like that? Didn't he realize how pathetic that was? Especially considering the fact that Pickles was clearly using him...suddenly, Skwisgaar felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and saw Nathan glaring down at him.

He motioned to the door and growled, "We need to talk."

"Abouts what?"

"Just come on."

"But I-"

"Come on!" and he began walking out of the room. Skwisgaar followed him, a look of confusion on his face.

Once they were out of the living room, Nathan turned to him and said bluntly, "You're in love with that little fucker, aren't you?"

"I...uh..." his mind raced to find an answer. In the end, under Nathan's deadly gaze, all he could manage to stupidly sputter out was, "I...uh...paper tolls?"

"Would you please just stop with the fucking paper towels? That diet thing is over!"

"Ugh...really, Nathans? In loves? What do you think I am?"

He swallowed and growled, "You didn't answer the question."

"Uh...right...what was it agains?"

Nathan sighed and went over to where Skwisgaar stood. "Tell me for real; do you really love that kid? Do you really love Toki?"


"I swear to God, if you don't tell the truth..."

He glanced nervously at the door and said in an urgently quiet voice, "He is such dildo, but I can't helps it!"

Nathan chuckled and shook his head. "I knew it. I just fucking knew it."

"You...you're not goings to be telling him, are yous?" the guitarist asked. Nathan glared over at him and shook his head.

"Fuck no, cause I'd be a fuckin' liar if I said that I didn't love the kid too. I don't know what it is about him...he's just..."

"He ammnest just Toki," Skwisgaar observed. "There ammnest nobodies else likes him in the whole worlds, and the way Pickle treat him..." he looked down and grew silent. In the end, the best thing he could come up with to voice his feelings was, "It makes me sicks to my stomach."

"Good. You see my point," Nathan agreed as he took a step nearer to him. He leaned a little closer and began whispering urgently, "Look, I've tried to make Pickles just stop this shit because, let's face it, he's only usin' him. It's obvious, the way he always fucks with him. Like just now in the living room. It's fucking bullshit."

Skwisgaar nodded. "It needs to stops."

"Exactly. Besides, I mean, I'd rather..." Nathan sighed and looked off before saying in almost a hurt way, "...that little fucker...I'd just rather see him with you—someone who halfway cares about his sorry little ass—than with Pickles. You know what I mean? I know that I can never have him again, but maybe..."

"I cans do it," Skwisgaar said confidently. "I cans break them up for good. I wills get Toki to loves me; I has to, or..." his voice trailed off. Not even he was sure what exactly would happen, only that it would be bad. Very bad.

He loved Toki, it was that simple. He loved him and wanted to be with him always. He wanted Toki to melt in his arms, the same way that he had melted perfectly into Pickles. He sighed. One way or another, he would make sure that Toki knew how he felt.

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In case anyone noticed, I worked hard to make the different voices of Dethklok stand out-sometimes Pickles will talk oddly,

Murderface will speak with a lot of 'sh's,

And I will try to make Toki and Skwisgaar's dialects different.

I hope you like it.