A/N: Hello, all! I know that it has been forever since I have posted… anything… besides the occasional review, and I apologize for that (that is, if anyone actually feels offended by this). Especially in regards to Fix You. I have an inexplicable and complete writer's block when it comes to this story… but I WILL finish it. Eventually! Even if the ending is horrible and forced. (Because you all would LOVE that…)

Anyway, this idea hit me the other day as I was brushing my teeth with my mind in the gutter (it happens). That was where the little seed of the idea for the first installment hit me, and I figured this was the best way to do it. I'm sure I will have no trouble continuing this for quite a while, and HAPPILY will take suggestions.

Without further ado, here is the first installment of Why Mello's Hot!

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Mello was brushing his teeth. Again.

Like all things vanity-related, Mello was more than a bit obsessive about brushing his teeth. And flossing them. And using mouthwash. Matt sometimes contemplated the life expectancy of a germ that might have the misfortune of passing the barrier of the blonde's pouty pink lips. He'd settled on no more than twenty minutes, at most.

Which was not a bad thing, especially in their more… intimate… moments. Bad breath was a definite moodkiller, as Mello had informed Matt on more than one occasion, in reference to his smoking. But Matt was usually rather distracted when he was reprimanded, so he never made an effort to eradicate this problem.

As a result of this vendetta against plaque and gingivitis, Mello had by far the cleanest mouth and whitest teeth of anyone Matt knew, between chocolate bars at least.

So it was not unusual for Matt to be standing in the doorway of the bathroom, fascinated by the sight before him.

Mello didn't notice him right away- caught up in the frantic patterns of his high-speed brushing, most likely- but when he did, catching sight of him as he paused briefly to spit, he glared at the redhead in the mirror.

"What're you staring at, lazy-ass?" He demanded before promptly popping the abused toothbrush back into his mouth and resuming the attack on his molars.

Matt, not one to be put off by insults, from Mello especially, just casually leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms across his chest and shrugging languidly. "Just bored."

Mello seemed to accept this answer, with good reason- Matt was always bored. It was as if life itself bored him. He went back to his furious brushing, ignoring the redhead who continued to stare.

… Or at least for about thirty seconds, which is, incidentally, how long it takes to get under Mello's skin with something inconsequential like staring. After he spat loudly again in the sink, he turned abruptly back to Matt and asked, without anger, accusation, or embarrassment, "Are you staring at my ass?"

"Nope," Matt replied, so immediately and matter-of-factly that Mello knew he wasn't lying. It helped his decision in this question that it was nearly midnight, and Mello was getting ready for bed, so he was wearing a pair of loose flannel pants rather than his rather attention-getting leather skinnies.

Now he was definitely puzzled. If Matt was telling the truth (and Mello knew he was), then there must be some other reason for him standing there… frankly, well, ogling Mello as he brushed his teeth. The problem was, Mello wasn't sure what it was. Matt might not be skilled in lying to him, but he was able to keep information concealed from Mello without drawing attention to the fact that he was doing so. So now Mello was left without an answer. And that bothered him.


His irritated confusion continued for the next minute or so as he finished scrubbing his right lateral incisor and moved on to his upper right cuspids. Finally he decided it didn't matter, and was just one of those idiosyncrasies that made Matt… well, Matt. Like video games, gloves in summer, and a deep fondness for waffles slathered in peanut butter and syrup.

And so he finished his brushing (finally), tossed his practically destroyed toothbrush-of-the-day into the trashcan under the sink (to be replaced the next morning, probably by Matt, as always).

Mello had already given up on the mystery of Matt's strange attention to his nightly routine, so he had already allowed his focus to drift elsewhere as he whirled to face him. It was for this reason that he didn't notice the faint flush to Matt's cheeks, or the indeniably… hot look in his eyes as he gazed at the blonde.

… Or his erection. The habitual bagginess of his jeans helped, undoubtedly.

"You'll get me another toothbrush in the morning, right?"

It took a moment for Mello's words to register with the redhead, but when they did, he gave a little start and looked as though he had been shaken from a deep sleep as he nodded just a little too quickly. "Yeah, sure."

Mello smiled then, and Matt's knees briefly went weak. "Thanks, Matt."

Then he turned back to the mirror, turning on the water and rinsing the residual toothpaste foam out of his mouth. Wiping his mouth on his wrist, he turned around to get his floss and mouthwash (purchased in-bulk as a result of his speed in burning through their supply) out of the super-size cabinet mounted on the opposite wall (for Mello's oral hygiene supplies exclusively), and was surprised to see that Matt had abruptly vanished. The related enigma flickered briefly in Mello's mercurial mind, but then was pushed aside as Mello began to mull over his plans for the next day.

In the darkness of the next bedroom over, Matt sat at the end of his bed, hunched over and trembling faintly, his face in one hand. "… J-Jesus…" He muttered, shaking his head and trying to dispel the image of his roommate's breathtaking face, smiling at him with traces of white foam lingering around his lips.

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A/N: Do you get it? -winks- If not… well, that means my mind is dirtier than yours. LOL.

Please review! I'd love to hear what you think, especially if you have ideas or suggestions for me! :) I promise to USE them!