Author Notes: First time *really* writing Zoro/Sanji pairing. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck. I'm trying to work on pacing, because I feel like I just rush everything way too much. Argh. This is also the most detailed I have ever been. *feels embarrassed at having written such a thing*

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Same old, same old, blah blah...

Day/Theme: Sept 5 - "then, tell me what you'll do to me"

Pairing: ZoSan/SanZo

Warning: Rated M for a reason. Heavy lemon. This is really just an excuse to write a fantasy smut of mine that'll never happen irl because I'm not superhero-strong, nor would I be able to pay for ruining a building. (So now you're either interested or completely turned off, lol)

Spoilers/Timeline: 8 crew members; may or may not fit into storyline

~!~

The Bet

~!~

Why they had been thrown together, he didn't know. Stuck on this shitty island in this shitty village in this shitty inn with the shitty swordsman of all people! Why had they been forced to room together? Nami had bought three rooms. The girls got a room. Then Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper had danced into one themselves. Franky was out working on the ship, complaining that it had been pushed too hard or some nonsense-reason, all with the evil plan to keep them on this ridiculously female-lacking island (he had only spotted two or three when walking through the streets).

And so he had been thrown in a room with Zoro!

Why? What god hated him so much?

Zoro, of course, had complained at first, but when Sanji started to complain, too, the swordsman had switched sides and turned the situation into a "training" exercise. Like it took an effort to sleep in the same room. So Sanji had gritted his teeth and forced himself to bear it. If the damn swordsman wanted to act like it was some endurance contest, then so be it.

Nami-san had even giggled at the idea, wishing him luck while Robin-chan had smiled and asked, "How long do you think you can last with Swordsman-san?"

Sanji had replied that he could stay with him forever if it took that long, and Zoro's strange look had made him stomp off into the room and slam the door in Zoro's face, refusing to open it for the stupid marimo. At least until the flushed feeling went away.

He walked around the room, taking in the one bed in the corner, but shrugging it off, assuming Zoro would probably just sleep against a wall anyway. After a lot of grumbling to himself about stupid swordsman taking words the wrong way, Sanji made his way back to the door and ran a hand over his face to make sure it wasn't red anymore.

By the time he opened the door again, Zoro had fallen asleep with his back on the door, as if it had really taken more than a few minutes for Sanji to calm down. Because the door had been so suddenly opened, Zoro had fallen back with his head resting on Sanji's feet, opening his eyes to glare up at the cook.

"About time," Zoro growled.

Before the marimo could sit up, Sanji lashed out and kicked him off, managing to successfully throw the swordsman into the wall on the other side of the hallway. Zoro, of course, retaliated quickly, shooting right back. He grabbed Sanji by his shirt collar and spun him around, walking inside just enough so that he could slam the cook against the wall beside the open door.

"That was your fault, shit-cook."

Sanji growled back, his hands against the wooden wall behind him, his legs almost twitching at the need to move. "No, it's your fault for sleeping against the door like an idiot!"

Zoro inched his face closer, and Sanji could feel the man's breath on his face. "I sleep where I fucking want to." He could feel the hands around his collar tighten.

"Yeah, well, you're not sleeping with me!"

The hands on his shirt loosened, let go, and Zoro stepped back, as if putting distance between them. "What?"

Sanji turned to the side and grimaced, lifting a hand to rub at his neck, hating the warmth he felt there. He prayed his face wasn't red again; the last thing he needed was Zoro making fun of him for his reactions - not only was he saying things wrong tonight, he was dropping the facade. Was it because the girls were in another room? As the adventures went on, they seemed less and less surprised to find Zoro and Sanji getting along well enough to venture out in teams together. A thought crossed his mind - had they planned for something to happen?

"Just get on the bed," he grumbled.

He turned back to see Zoro's eyes wide as saucers. "What?"

This time, he couldn't help the blush. But it was the marimo's fault for taking it the wrong way. "That's not what I meant!" He shouted back, pushing himself off the wall and walking past the green haired man as he made his way to the bed. "Stop having such perverted thoughts. I was just trying to say -"

A hand grabbed his wrists. Stopped him. "I know what you meant."

Sanji froze. That tone of voice...coming from Zoro of all people. It just didn't fit; it didn't make sense; it wasn't...

He turned slowly, ever so slowly, and blinked at the serious expression on the swordsman's face. That expression, usually directed at an enemy, or a new member to the crew that he didn't trust. And yet, the grip on his wrist was just the opposite. Soft, gentle, almost tender...

Sanji looked into those eyes again, feeling his heart start beating faster than it should be. Feeling panic because of what it could mean. Zoro's expression didn't change as Sanji stared back at him, and neither of them spoke, heightening the tension.

In a desperate attempt to keep the moment from developing any further, Sanji bent his head and snickered. Which caused Zoro to frown. "What?"

"You're such an idiot, marimo," he replied, trying to appear calm as he lifted his head to meet the swordsman's eyes.

But Zoro didn't look pissed. Or put out. Or...upset at all. Instead, there was an almost feral gleam in his eyes now, and there was that damned familiar know-it-all smirk. "Oh?" He chuckled. "I bet I know more than you think."

Before Sanji could respond with a witty comeback, Zoro tightened the grip on his wrist and forced him forward. Sanji opened his mouth to protest but Zoro's lips on his own surprised him into silence and then a tongue entered and he felt his face heat up with what should have been anger. After all, how dare the damn marimo steal a kiss like that? These lips should have been for Nami-san only.

But there was something about being forced...He should have been pissed at Zoro, but for some reason he could only open his mouth more and invite him in. He could only relax, feeling the grip on his wrist loosen with him. He could only close his eyes, raise his hand to reach around behind Zoro, aiming to touch the back of the green hair; he lifted his tongue inside his mouth, touching Zoro's only to feel it retreat.

And then the shitty swordsman backed off!

Sanji opened his eyes and glared at the no longer close marimo. "See?" Zoro said with a smirk while crossing his arms at his chest and turning around. "You take the bed. I'll be just fine over here."

For a moment, Sanji couldn't do much but stare after him, glaring at that short absurdly-colored green hair. He couldn't think straight, but at this point he didn't really care. How dare Zoro go and make him horny like that and then just leave him hanging, as if it was just playful and nothing more? Damn it all, he was not going to be the sputtering fool!

With a growl, he attacked, lifting his leg, springing forward. "Bastard!" He shouted as he slammed into the back of the marimo, knocking Zoro face first against the wall.

"Ow!" Zoro snapped while Sanji maneuvered himself behind the unsuspecting swordsman. Full of determination, Sanji wrapped his arms around Zoro's waist, worked at his stupid, ugly haramaki a bit, and shoved his hand into Zoro's pants, discovering yet another secret about the dirty marimo. "O-Oi! What the h-nngh!" Zoro apparently went commando.

Oh, this was going to be to be some sweet revenge.

Grinning almost maniacally, Sanji started to tease the marimo back, lightly stroking his hardening erection. He was pleasantly surprised to learn that Zoro had another secret: he also blushed and he made some of the sweetest sounding moans he had ever heard.

"Gehhh...s-stop..." Zoro murmured, his hands reaching around to grab at Sanji's arms, squeezing down, as if trying to make a point.

In the back of his mind, Sanji was wondering why Zoro wasn't fighting back more. He should have pulled away by now, pushed him back, thrown him around. Something, but the damn marimo just sat there and took it. Was Zoro really enjoying the moment and just saying 'stop' to hide it?

'That must be it. How dare he call me the pervert when he's sitting here enjoying something that should be revenge.'

As a response to the tightening grip around his arms, Sanji lightly squeezed back, earning another moan for his efforts. And a hissed, "Shiiiiit."

Sanji chuckled, feeling pleased with himself for getting the best of the marimo so quickly. He had Zoro so weak, the man was leaning forward, a hand now pressed against the wall in front of him as if for balance. Sanji smirked and moved his face closer to the back of Zoro's neck, kissing at the spot between neck and shoulder, sucking slightly, grazing his teeth along the skin, all the while keeping up a consistent pumping motion. Zoro shivered in response to the suckle, his skin growing warmer.

Sanji was feeling so proud of himself, he slowed and moved his lips to Zoro's left ear, knocking the three earrings around a bit before whispering. "You're so fucking sensitive, I bet I could get you off and all you can do to me is turn me on a little."

It made Zoro freeze for just a second before suddenly reaching around and forcefully removing Sanji's hands, as if he was just now realizing what was happening. In the span of a few seconds they had shifted positions. Sanji had his back against a wall again, and Zoro had his hands on the cook's shoulders; the pink blush had turned to a dark red.

"Keh," Zoro grunted. "Even if you are a pervert-cook, I doubt you're better than me at anything."

Sanji felt his eyebrow lift as his lips did the same shortly after. "Oh?"

He chuckled, reaching out to pull the swordsman's white shirt free from the haramaki and force his hands underneath to find the raised part of Zoro's skin where the long scar marked him. Sanji traced it in a rush with his full palm, rubbing a circle around the nipple when he passed it. Which made Zoro shiver and moan. And Sanji could only let his eyes light up, feeling damn sure that he was going to win this bet.

"You're so sensitive, marimo; surely you aren't a virgin?"

He was quite surprised to see the swordsman blush violently, but he had expected the snapping retort at least. "Shut up! Just because I don't fuck with every pretty girl I can find like you -"

"I do not!" Sanji snapped back. Zoro's raised eyebrow made him explain himself, as if he had to defend his actions. "Just because I flirt with the ladies, it doesn't mean I have sex with all of them!"

Zoro shrugged, as if his point had already been proven, and he moved his hands down to the hem of Sanji's pants, snapping them open roughly. "O-Oi! I didn't say you could -"

Lips silenced him again, a tongue reaching in and slapping at his own. It took him a moment to respond, feeling dazed by the intimacy of it all. But he did respond, trying to get his own tongue into Zoro's mouth and make a claim, but Zoro would have none of it, backing off yet again when it was just starting to heat up and get good.

For a moment, he stood there dazed, palms against the wall behind him. And then he felt cool air hit his legs as his pants and underwear came down - because he wasn't an indecent idiot marimo. He was about to voice a complaint when he noticed that Zoro was on his knees, and his first indicator that Zoro was in such a position...was the feeling of hot breath on his member. And then a tongue licked it from base to tip before lips enclosed around the erection.

"Ahh - asshole, that's cheating!" Sanji cried out, pressing himself further against the wall behind him, feeling his fingers clawing at the wood at his back as pleasure seemed to explode through him, generating from that area of his body.

Zoro pulled back and smirked up at him. "And what you were doing earlier isn't cheating?"

Sanji sent him as much of a death glare as he could manage with his heart beating this fast and his face this insanely hot. Zoro noticed it and bent over, his tongue slipping out and licking at the tip of Sanji's member, lapping up the precum.

Sanji shivered and then got himself in control of his own body in time to kick out and yell, "Fucking marimo!"

The kick smacked Zoro in the stomach, sending him to lay sprawling on his back on the floor. Clenching his fists, Sanji leapt after him - kicking his pants, underwear, and shoes off in the process. As Zoro lay there recovering from the sudden attack, Sanji took control back, ripping the black pants off to reveal the object of this contest. Determined to one-up the swordsman, Sanji gripped the bottom of Zoro's member with his hand, squeezed once, pumped twice, and then proceeded to wrap his mouth around it. He let his tongue play with the tip, lapping up precum as his hand continued to pump.

"Gahhh...! Fu-ck!" Zoro's cries started out loud and then reduced to muffled moans. "Mmmf..."

When Sanji stole a glance, he saw the marimo with one arm bent above him, fingers clawing at the carpet beneath them. Zoro's eyes were closed tightly with one hand covering his mouth in an effort to quiet the cries. With a smirk, Sanji hummed, knowing this would get a good reaction because it had always been one for him whenever someone gave him a blowjob.

He wasn't disappointed. "Shiiii-ahh-" Zoro cried while arching up, forcing his member down Sanji's throat; whether it was intentional or not, Sanji fumed angrily, starting to yell at the swordsman while it was still in his mouth. He stopped mid-thought because the accidental hum caused Zoro to moan something else, something erotically specific. "Saaaaaan - jii."

Something about it made Sanji blink, and he sat up, dropping everything, sitting there on his hands and knees, staring at the heaving chest of the swordsman. He just said my name. What the fuck...he never does that. It's always some insult, not...

Apparently, Sanji's little break of quiet musing was all Zoro needed to pull himself back into control. First the swordsman reached out with an arm, wrapped a fist in Sanji's shirt and pulled the cook forward and down to latch their lips together again. Sanji moaned into his mouth - a quite unexpected reaction - and Zoro moaned back. But then the green haired swordsman knocked his legs into Sanji's and pushed up and sideways, forcing them to roll over to where Sanji was now the one with the floor beneath him.

Before Sanji could even digest what was happening, Zoro released the kiss and replaced tongue with fingers. "Wha da hell?" Sanji asked around the fingers.

Zoro's face was red, his breathing was heavy, but his eyes were hot with passion, anger included. "I'm going to fuck you so hard for doing that."

Sanji blinked, both hating and loving the feel of the strong swordsman straddling him; he felt his own blush betray him. Zoro didn't seem to notice, though, removing the fingers from his mouth and poking at his entrance instead. Sanji stiffened when they entered and something clicked in his brain.

Hell no, not like this.

"Relax," Zoro muttered. "It hurts worse if-"

Sanji cut him off, reaching between them and grabbing Zoro's member in his hand again, pumping a few times before letting his thumb make little circles around the tip and poke across the slit a few times. He got the reaction he wanted. Zoro froze what he was doing, getting weak and having to throw his hands to the floor on either side of Sanji to keep from falling forward.

"Uhn...s-stop damn it, I'm gonna..."

"That's the point, asshole!" Sanji snapped, reaching around with his other hand and letting his frustration get the better of him, shoving his fingers into Zoro, scissoring, poking, prodding without mercy.

"O-OI!" Zoro shouted, his arms shaking. "Y-You're supposed to-uhn..."

Sanji pumped faster, harder, while working his other fingers, trying to do all that he could to... With a groan, Zoro finally fell on top of him, having lost control completely. As soon as it happened, he forced the swordsman around, switching positions yet again. Keeping a grip on Zoro's dick - squeezing to enforce the point - Sanji positioned himself where he wanted, and forced his way inside the green haired marimo idiot. He would win this damn bet; he would not let himself lose against the swordsman when it came to sex; he absolutely refused.

"Daahhhhh-" Zoro cried out, loud and long. He even managed to change pitch when Sanji switched angles slightly, successfully hitting the rather vocal swordsman's sweet spot. "Damn you," Zoro breathed between thrusts, moaning at every movement.

Sanji felt like moaning himself, but he managed to keep his quiet and hidden behind each of Zoro's. At one point, Zoro reached up and fisted fingers into Sanji's shirt again, so Sanji increased his pace both with his own thrusts and with the handjob he was giving the marimo's member. Zoro's fingers stayed clenched in the fabric, but his arm went slack and Sanji felt himself pulled forward, going even deeper.

He moaned and shuddered, and inwardly cursed as he felt himself ejaculate into the swordsman, but when he looked at his hand he discovered that Zoro had finished as well. After a few moments spent to reclaim breath, Sanji pulled out and smirked down at Zoro.

"I win," he said.

Zoro's eyes opened and glared, but then he smirked, too. "The bet was to see who would get the other off, not who topped. I think I win."

Sanji scowled. "You went off seconds before I did!"

"Did not! You were first!" Zoro shouted back, sitting up, sweat soaking his body, white shirt included.

Sanji rolled his eyes and stood up. He needed a shower. Now that he could think clearly, he couldn't believe he had just been inside the dirty marimo. He shivered.

...

The next morning, back among the crew with the ship fixed (Sanji still believed it could have all been a ploy by Franky to keep them on the island for some strange reason), Zoro and Sanji were still arguing back and forth. And the crew couldn't make any sense of it.

"I said you were first!"

"It doesn't matter what you say, shitty marimo, you're still lying to yourself!"

"I have more stamina. Why would I ever be first?"

"Fucking idiot. Fighting and sex are two different things!"

~!~

A/N: Uh huh...Well, that was my first Zoro and Sanji smut. Wasn't too terrible, was it? *dodges flying vegetables* Anyway... *clears throat* Will this dispute ever be settled? Will Zoro get back at Sanji for dominating him? Find out September 7th for the update! Stay tuned. *end transmission*