Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
I walked the hallways a bit before I decided to head to the classroom that my friends and I had found was empty during this period. Every year since third year, when we found that we didn't want what we were discussing to be overheard by people in the common room, the dormitory or the courtyard, we had found an empty classroom during our free period to talk in. It was a safe haven—that empty room we found each year—if one of us needed to talk about something private. All we had to do was slip a note saying 'tutoring'(which was our code so that anyone else who saw it wouldn't know what we were doing and so that they wouldn't want to come with us) into whichever friend's hand that we wanted to talk to and we would then meet up there.
I got to the room first. This wasn't a surprise as I tended to walk quite quickly when I was stressing over something. I also tended to let issues snowball in my mind until I was really worked up about them if left to my own devices. Which was starting to happen the longer Emma took to get to this room. I was just about to start muttering to myself when she opened the door.
"This is all your fault," I said to Emma as she closed the door to the empty classroom we had staked out. I put a silencing charm on the room and then a privacy ward; the last thing I needed was for someone to overhear the conversation that was about to take place.
"What, pray tell, is my fault?" Emma asked while arching one brow. I honestly didn't know how she did that, but it always disconcerted me so I looked away from her. The classroom we were in had a window that looked out over the quiditch pitch and I walked over to it to avoid looking at Emma.
"This, this, this obsession that I've gotten. You did this to me!" I vented, spinning on my heels to glare at my friend. I then began pacing back and forth at the front of the room waving my hands about while Emma sat on the table in the first row. "I never noticed anything he did unless he was disrupting my life in some way. Now it's all I can do to focus on my life and not him!
"I realize now that half the time he is in front of the fireplace in the common room joking with his friends, he is also doing homework. I see when he helps first years find their way to class. I barely even see the disruptive stuff he does anymore, now all I can see is all the good things he does and it's driving me crazy!"
"I've done absolutely nothing to you but open your eyes, Lily. James did the rest," she responded. "And the reason that you don't see the disruptive stuff as much? He has grown up, Lily, and that means that he doesn't hex people for the fun of it anymore."
"You're the one who made me see him in a new light. I didn't want to see him in a new light! I liked the old light! The old light was black and white; now there are all sorts of gray that I never even wanted to know existed! The old light was the way it had always been. It was safe. It was secure. It was—"
"It was distanced," Emma cut me off. She stood up now and walked towards me, arms crossed in front of her chest. We were about the same height, but she seemed much taller now. "James Potter has always pushed you to passion, albeit usually in the form of anger, but still. That's what this is really about. You're scared. You're afraid that if you give him the one chance that he's been begging for, then you'll fall for him. You know he's a good person now, and he's always been handsome, and he elicits a spark from you Lily. You're just going to have to face the fact that you like the bloke, a lot." I stared at my best friend in horror. Me? Like Potter? My feet began to carry me backward and I realized that I was shaking my head. I had only thought that it was a problem that I found him fascinating. It had never occurred to me that I might actually like him. My hand found the door handle and I swung the door open and ran out of the room.