The night rainbow calmly danced at the sky and the bear cub had fallen in a deep deep slumber. Kenai sat there watching over his little brother and eventually gazed at the colorful display up above.
Sitka had been right.
The spirits – Sitka – knew what he was doing.
The bo- man looked down at the totem that shone forth on his chest.
Bears were a nice folk he had learned and that they loved. But, it had not quite taught him what love meant. His gaze fell back to Koda who was soundly sleeping with a big smile on his face, still after all the kid had been through – and he couldn't get past to blame himself for that dreadful mistake.
Did he love Koda?
Like a brother.
But… he thought with a chuckle,
Did he love Denahi?
Maybe… he wasn't too sure. They had fought a lot. After all, that's what brothers do. Granted Denahi and him would have… and had killed for each other.
And Kenai had been ready to attack him for attempting to hurt Koda.
But Koda was not his child, he as well was just his brother.
Kenai's paw carefully stroked the totem that was almost hidden in his pelt. It was his most precious material treasure now, ever since he had decided to stay a bear.
It was a symbol.
A… protection of his own kind.
It seemed surreal. It was real of course, but he couldn't quite believe it still. Being a bear had changed so much in him, and yet he was sure that he was still the same. Still the same old… boy, just… a man now. A grown up adult man. And something inside of him was and would always be human, as much as Koda tried to teach him otherwise.
And Koda tried hard, because he wanted him to be a good bear; because he loved him like a brother.
Kenai gulped and let himself drop forward, so he landed face forward on the ground, tiredly peeking over to the cub.
Who was he trying to fool.
It was the guilt; purest guilt that nagged him about the cub.
And however forgiving Koda was about it, it was still harder to forgive yourself.
Could guilt and pity make you love someone?
Kenai frowned and with a low grunt he pulled himself up again.
This was ridiculous. But if it was… why had Sitka be- was Sitka so certain? So certain that Kenai had learned his lesson.
He knew he had had a lesson to learn, and that he did – but he had not understood his lesson.
Or had he?
The bear helplessly glanced up at the sky.
This was no answer the spirits could give him, he knew. It was an answer he had to find all by himself.
Koda suddenly stirred in his sleep and the larger bear slumped over to the cub and wrapped his arm around him.
Kenai would never fully understand the spirits or their intentions. But he did know, that if he hadn't become a bear, Koda would be alone now. And Koda needed someone to look after him. Koda needed to stay alive.
And as much as Kenai would give up his life for the little cub, because this wasn't about him and because it was the least he could do for the kid, he knew that he couldn't; couldn't let that happen.
Because if he did – Koda would be alone again and make all the spirit's precious planning in vain.
And maybe… yes.
Maybe that was what it meant. That plan. That dreaded word… love.
To just be there.
And Koda stopped to shiver, the nightmare obviously gone as he nuzzled himself deeply in his brother's fur.
Not one of my best works, I know - but the "Brother Bear" fandom simply deserves some more luvin' =)
WHY IS ALL I LOVE DEAD? D;