Before I leave I give some papers to Claudia.
"These are more questions that I didn't have time to ask you guys. Please see that Pete and Myka get theirs. Mail them to this address when you're finished. It was great to meet you in person." I hold out a hand to shake Claudia's
"Oh, same here. I had fun. It sure beats inventory." She smirks toward the kitchen and raises her voice on the last words. I can hear Artie grumbling about teenagers. Claudia and I look at each other and roll our eyes. I leave and begin my long drive back to FF headquarters.
Below is the sheets, filled out and completed.
Pete: Do you have any really embarrassing secrets we don't yet know about? "Like I'd tell you."
Do you secretly really love that Myka named her ferret after you? "The ferret's named after me?"
Do you like to eat? "I like cookies. And cake. And Leena's pies. And she makes good roast beef, as well."
Do you know how to cook? "...No?"
Have you ever been to Jamaica? "No. Why?"
Do you like spongebob? "I watch it with my nephew sometimes."
Do you like Myka? "Who doesn't like Myka?"
Do you love Myka? "Yes. No. I'm not really sure. If you mean 'you're my best friend' kind of love, then yes. If you mean 'love' love, I'm still trying to figure that out myself."
Do you love Claudia? "As a sister. And a friend."
Do you love Artie? "... he's cool, I guess. When he's not shouting."
How about Leena and Mrs. Frederic? "Leena is amazing, she reminds me of my mom. Don't tell her I said that. Mrs. Frederic kinda creeps me out, though."
Do you ever have dirty thoughts about Myka? "..."
Do you ever worry that Mrs. Frederic can read your mind when you have thoughts about them? "I don't have dirty thoughts about them! Well, maybe Myka... a little."
Do you worry that you are going to get fat? "No, I have to do too much running for my life in this job to manage to get fat."
Do you think Myka and Claudia would still love you if you got fat? "Probably. I don't see them as the shallow types."
Do you ever worry that you'll end up like Artie? "Uh, I don't know."
Myka: Do you hate your parents? "No, not really. My dad and I have never gotten along, but I don't hate him."
Do they hate you? "They're my parents!"
Do you ever hate Artie? "Well, there was that period of time right after we got transferred here, but that wore off after about a week or so. I realized it was a change for the good and forgave him."
How about Pete? "Sometimes he can be very childish and annoying, but I haven't hated him for a long time. Not since the chair mission."
Do you ever worry that Artie or Pete hate you? "When Helena joined the team I thought Artie hated me. He isn't still mad, is he?"
Do you think of Claudia as an annoying little sister? "As a little sister, sure, but not an annoying one."
Do you think Pete does? "Pete loves Claudia. He bought her a new laptop for her birthday."
Do you have any tattoos? "No."
Do you wear contacts? "Yes."
Do you have glasses? Yes, but I don't wear them very often."
Do you think they make you look nerdy? "Sam told me once that I look like a librarian with my glasses on, which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing..."
ARE you nerdy? "Maybe. I love to read, when I was a kid that was nerdy. Has the definition changed in the past ten years?"
Do you watch Star Trek? "With Pete, on the flat-screen in his room. We have little parties sometimes."
Does Pete watch Star Trek? "Every time it's on."
Do you like Christmas? "Yes."
Do you like sugar? "...I like Twizzlers. And Artie's cookies. Don't etll anyone I said that, if Pete ever found out, I'd never hear the end of it."
Do you like Alice in Wonderland, or are you scarred for life from being trapped in the mirror? "I used to love Alice. Now... I can't even look at the cover of the book without shivering."
Do you like OneRepublic? "What?"
Do you even know what OneRepublic IS? "No."
Do you write depressing poetry? "No."
Is it about Pete? "No."
Your parents? "NO!"
Sam? "NO! I don't write poetry, alright?"
Do you have any scars? "One on my head, under my hair, from when I fell out of a tree as a kid."
Do you think these questions are annoying? "A little."
If I ran up to you and hugged you, would you Tesla me? "Maybe."
Claudia: If I ran up to you in the streets and hugged you, would you do that kung-foo thing Myka taught you? "No, I love hugs!"
Would you let me video-tape it and put it on YouTube? "Uh..."
Would Artie come after me if I put you on YouTube? "Probably. He's weird like that."
Do you love Artie? "Yes. Don't tell him, he'd act all weirded out."
Do you think of him as a father? "Hell yeah."
Do you think of Myka as an older sister? "Yeah, we hang sometimes."
Do you think of Pete like a brother? "What's with all the family questions?"
Do you think HE thinks of you that way? "I think so..."
Where did you learn to hack computers? "That's a secret."
Can you teach me? "No. Great hackers are born, not made."
Where do you get your hair done? "I do it myself."
Where do you get your clothes? "Um... "
Do you like Fargo or Todd better? "uh..."
Are you going to kill me for asking that? Maybe. If I ever see you again I might beat you up."
Will Artie kill me for asking that? "If he ever finds you, you better start running."
Are you scared of Mrs. Frederic? "A little bit."
Artie: Did you love MacPherson? "..."
Did you miss him when he was banished? "..."
Do you love Mrs. Frederic? ".."
Are you and her Leena's parents? "..."
Do you love Claudia? "...yes."
Do you see her as a daughter? "How else would I see her?… pervert."
Do you worry about your weight? "Leena worries about my weight enough for both of us."
Do you hide cookies in the dark vault? "How did you know that?" ("Artie's Rules" by Shorty McGee. I highly recommend it.)
Why the heck are you so short? "...what kind of question is that?"
So there it is, the last chapter of the Q&A. Kirk out.