Prologue: One Night
Anakin would have kissed Padmé in the semi lit sitting room, if she hadn't pulled away.
"Anakin, no" she said softly, ignoring everything her heart was screaming for. Someone had to be the strong one, and for this, she couldn't count on Anakin.
Anakin. How he changed from the last time she saw him. What was once a charmingly strange boy had transformed into a brave, strong, handsome man. No, not man, Jedi. She had to constantly remind herself that it would never work. He was a Jedi. Jedi. Jedi.
He looked at her with his madding blue eyes, earnest, swirling with emotion that she refused to name.
"From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask."
She looked him in the eyes and felt her resolve crack a little. She looked away again, shifting uncomfortably. Force, give me strength.
"If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me" he implored, shifting closer to her again.
"I can't," she choked out, "We can't, Ani. It's…just not possible."
A hope sparked in his eye. He reached for her hands, clasping them in his own. "Anything's possible. Padmé, please listen-"
"No! You listen!" she said angrily, wrenching her hands away from his. Padmé stood up and walked to the fireplace "We live in a real world. Come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi Knight. I'm-!" she broke off, looking at his face, heart slowly breaking at his expression. "I'm a Senator" she finished quietly. "If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go... regardless of the way we feel about each other"
"Then you do feel something!" he said, jumping up.
She crossed her arms, ignoring his comment, not wanting to answer. "I will not let you give up your future for me."
He crossed the room to stand toe to toe with her. "You're asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could wish my feelings away... but I can't" he said with wild hand gestures. Oh, Ani she thought. He was so physical with his emotions. So impulsive, so passionate…No, she had to stop.
"I will not give into this" she reminded herself, hardly realizing that she was saying it out loud as well.
He nodded slowly, walking away from her. He turned slowly to her from the other side of the room. "It wouldn't have to be that way... we could keep it a secret."
Her heart sped up at the thought. A secret… "Then we'd be living a lie - one we couldn't keep up even if we wanted to" she rationalized. "I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?"
He looked at her for a long moment. "No" he said slowly. "You're right. It would destroy us."
But then he looked at her, with those smoldering blue eyes and she couldn't help herself. Without realizing it, she walked over to him. A few inches separated their bodies.
"Padmé," he breathed, cupping her face with one hand. She closed her self, feeling herself fall farther and farther. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
She opened her eyes and met his gaze. "I-I love you, too."
And then she did the irrational, the unconceivable, the wrong, the right, the stupid thing.
She kissed him.
She grasped his shirt and he pulled her closer to him, hand resting on her hip. The broke apart when the need for oxygen was too great, not daring to let each other go.
"One night" he breathed, "One night, let us be together. Let us forget about the greater good, all our responsibilities, what we are supposed to do. Let's just love each other, even if it would only be for a brief moment."
"No Jedi Order, no Senate, just us. Just as it should be, just as we deserve. Selfish, just for a moment" she agreed but then hesitated a moment. "Can you do this Ani? We can't-," she said, swallowing a sob, "we can't have a future together. Can we do this and be-?"
"Padmé, I don't care. If having you once, fully, is all I can have, well, I'd rather that and hold you in my heart the rest of my life, then not have you at all."
"I love you. I love you. I love you." she grasped his hands. They stealthily made their way up to her room.
A little over a week passed and the two young lover's lives had changed forever. War had come to the republic. After barely escaping with their lives on Geonosis, Anakin escorted Padmé back to the Lake House. He was going to war on the outer rim and she was to stay in Coruscant and work with the Senate.
"Stay safe," she murmured into his chest, hugging him tightly. His arms held her just as firmly. He rested his cheek on the top of her head.
"I will," he said, gathering up the courage to do what he must. "But you must promise me one thing."
She looked up at him, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
He took a deep breath. "You must move on with your life. Find another who could love you in openly. You must live. You must be happy. I cannot survive if you are not."
A tear slid town her face. "Ani-"
"Promise me" he insisted.
"I…I'll try, Anakin."
"Master Yoda always said 'Do or do not. There is no try.'"
"Yes, well I don't agree with that" she said stubbornly. Anakin laughed. "Anther Jedi once said 'You're asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do… I wish I could wish my feelings away, but I can't' " she quoted, throwing his words back at him.
Anakin sighed. "I love you" he said sincerely, after a moment.
"I love you too" she declared and kissed him for what could be the last time.
He turned and walked away, not looking back the way his mother had taught him.
She wrapped her arms around herself as the silent tears rolled down her face, not knowing when she would see him again.
Seven years passed.
All right! So this is obviously AU. This will also be a short story. This is just the prologue, so the next chapter really gets into it. I'd love any insight or criticism you have.
Please review and tell me if I should continue!