Author's Note – Drum roll please! Here is the epilogue… ta da! I give you a monstrous (for me) more than 6,500 words for your reading pleasure. Let me warn there is fluff, lemons, drama (I am, after all, a drama queen), angst (x 1,000), comedy and an ending worthy of my blood sweat and tears.
SUPER SPECIAL SHOUT OUTS… Txgal77 – you rock my socks in the best ways baby, without your 'inspiring' Taylor Lautner emails, the lemons would be lacking, how shall I put this… bite? I'm so humbled that you loved this story as much as I do, so here is YOUR epilogue. UntilWeBleed – you creative minx you, kisses for your wickedly wonderful banners and for being my photoshop bitch.
And big high fives all around to everyone who has read this and fist pumps to all those who've taken the time to review.
This is going to be LEGEN- wait for it… -DARY (well according to me LOL)
No copyright intended, all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer (if she's done it right, whatever would we do with our time?)
'One' by Lamb
Here's a story of lovers finding
Union so deep there is no unwinding
Tender threads exquisitely binding
Two lives together one soul deep resounding
Love so strong whatever the weather
Even apart our souls are together
It's you and me, babe, forever and ever
Even apart we're dreaming together
Twenty three months later.
Our life was bathed in bliss. Jake and I had done precisely what he had hoped for. We started back at the beginning, when it was just a hopeful girl and a determined boy and endless possibilities. We may have been more than four years older, but the sequel went much like the first time round. Time spent in Jake's garage, only this time he was building his own business, evenings riding motorbikes on old back roads, only this time it wasn't to awaken a hallucination of a beautiful boy and lazy afternoons with hands entwined on a bleached out log at La Push beach, only this time I was as certain as Jake was, even back then, that he was exactly right for me.
Our relationship progressed at an effortless pace. There was no rush, no hurry, we could just take our time, because now we had all the time in the world. Charlie took a few months to warm to the idea of Jake being back in my life. He couldn't deny that this was the happiest and most content he'd ever seen me and he knew it was all at Jake's hands. Billy was thrilled that things had worked out just the way he'd always hoped they would.
We moved in together at Billy's about eight months after Jake got back. His bedroom was tiny and impractical but it made sense since we decided to build our own home on Billy's land. Jake had always loved La Push and so had I so it just seemed the natural thing to do.
Jake had employed Embry and Quil to work at the garage with him. I helped out by managing the books and I was finishing my course at a community college in Port Angeles. Once that was done I would hopefully get a job in Forks so I'd be close to home too.
Our new home was coming together nicely albeit at a snails pace. It was a modest three bedroom home with a large kitchen that overlooked the yard and a sweet porch that wrapped around the kitchen and lounge. Everyone we knew pitched in to do what they could to help us. I was pretty a useless 'handyman' so I cooked round the clock whenever I was home, even Emily commented on my improved skills as feeding the monstrous appetites of werewolves. Jake's appetite never faltered even though he hadn't phased in years. He could still inhale what normal people would consider a family sized meal.
Winter was fast approaching and Jake was hopeful that the house would be completed by then. He spent every spare minute tinkering around with something in our home. Between the garage and the house we barely spent any quality time together, there was always at least one other person around. And when we were alone at night, he was so exhausted that he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.
The week prior to completion I ate some questionable leftovers at Charlie's house and I was sick as a dog. I had the worst case of food poisoning and had to be hospitalized overnight and put on a drip because I literally couldn't even keep water down. I should have known better, the labs I recalled from college when we had to grow cultures from all sorts of things like food that had been left out. The stuff that grew on those agar plates was beyond disgusting. The doctors actually though I may have some major morning sickness but I made it clear I was on birth control and it was definitely my consumption of bad food that was the cause. They insisted on a pregnancy test just to be sure. Negative. Not that Jake and I were being intimate much these days.
Due to my illness, I hadn't been inside the house and it seemed like Jake was happy to keep it that way. Whenever I offered to go over and have a look he assured me that things were moving slowly and there was nothing new to see or that the floor varnish was wet or something to keep me out.
I got back late on a Friday evening having visited Charlie after my last class. Jake ran up to meet me as I pulled up the gravel driveway.
"Hey Bells," he said as he opened the car door for me.
"Hi," I replied giving him a long languid kiss on the mouth.
"So I have a surprise for you," he revealed as he raised his brows and bit his lip. God he was sexy without even trying.
I ran a finger down the v-neck of his t-shirt and down his stomach. "Can I guess what it might be?" He grabbed my wrist as my finger skipped over the buckle of his belt.
He stepped in closer to me and roughly pulled me into him with his huge hand by the small of my back. He grazed his nose along the length of my jaw from my chin to my ear and breathed, "my surprise is even bigger than…" he clutched my hand and roughly positioned it over the bulge in his jeans and pressed against it firmly, "…than this," squeezing himself over the top of my hand.
I swallowed audibly. "Oh God Jake, can that…" I grasped his crotch again, "just be my special surprise?"
He moved back a few inches from me, "geez Bells is that all you think about? You have a dirty mind honey."
His firm fingers dug into my hip and it was hard to think about anything else. It had been too long. "Maybe, but come on, it has been a while"
"Yeah! But my surprise will certainly lead to that." He took my hand and turned to make his way to Billy's house.
Once inside, Jake handed me a small box with a bow on it. "What's this?" I asked with a quizzical expression.
He shrugged his wide shoulders, "open it and see."
I slowly removed the bow from the box and pulled the lid off. Nestled on a bed of blue velvet was a key. "Oh my God Jake!" I screamed.
His smile and a nod of his head was all I needed to confirm that this was the key to our new home. "There's still more work to be done but, it's at a state where we can comfortably live there."
I touched the key like some might touch a sparkling diamond ring. This key pledged me more than any ring ever could. It held so many possibilities and endless winding paths of potential and promise. This was the physical foundation of our commitment to one another. It will be our canvas, to create a collage of experiences and memories that will be beautiful, and uniquely ours.
I embraced Jake with every fiber of my being, conveying every ounce of gratitude that I felt for him being in my life. "Thank you." Two words that held so much more than I could ever explain.
He took my face in his palms. "I love you Bella", he told me as his eyes bore through to my soul.
"And I love you," I placed my head on his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart. Jake wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "You are so getting lucky tonight," I revealed and he bellowed out a huge laugh.
"Come on, let me take you home."
Tears welled in my eyes. "I really like the sound of that." And we locked hands and headed out the front door.
Jake led me up the seven steps to the porch, I had the key firmly clutched in my hand, so hard that when he pried my palm open the outline of the key had left a mark. I blushed when he noticed it and traced the outline with his finger.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"Definitely," I nodded.
He put the key in the lock and turned it until it clicked open. He swiftly snaked an arm around my back and one behind my knees and swept me off the floor. "Let's do this right, I'm carrying you over the threshold."
I laughed out loud as I dangled off his broad shoulders. He pushed the solid wood door open and walked in closing it behind him with his foot. It was almost like I was seeing it for the first time, he'd done so much work to it since I last saw it. I gasped, "Jake it's just… perfect." And it certainly was.
The kitchen was to the left and it had an island bench in the middle and huge bay windows overlooking the yard, the stone colored bench tops accentuated the white lacquered cupboard doors. Tiny mosaic tiles covered the walls in the kitchen in beautiful earthy tones. The wooden floors were varnished to a brilliant sheen, the shade of wood reminded me of the color of his wolf's fur. The lounge on the right had a glorious fireplace nestled between two massive French doors that opened onto the porch. A wide hallway lit by small lights lining the walls led to two small bedrooms on the right, and a laundry room and bathroom on the left. At the end of the hallway was our bedroom, it was at the back of the house and the entire back wall was covered in windows that opened out to the forest. There were glorious willow trees everywhere. Prettier than any picture.
I turned to face him when we entered our room. "There's a bed in here," I stated simply.
He closed the gap between us and swept my hair from my shoulders. "You noticed huh?" Jake continued to run his hands over my shoulder blades, down the small of my back, over my ass and stopped at my thighs.
My breath hitched and I nodded. "Uh huh, I did notice."
In an instant he grasped my thighs and lifted me up where I wrapped my arms around his neck and entwined my legs around his hips locking my ankles behind his butt. His eyes were liquid molten as he pressed his erection against me through his jeans and mine. "God Bells," he moaned against my mouth and then he pressed his lips urgently against mine.
Desperation made the air around us thick with anticipation. Jake walked over to flick the light switch off and I released his neck and dove my right hand down between us to rub the bulge in his pants and I fumbled with his belt buckle. He led us to the nearest wall and pressed my back up against it and himself harder against me. There was a fire between my thighs that longed for Jake's touch.
He released my lips and worked his way over to my ear where his warm breath made my insides scream for mercy. As his teeth grazed a trail down my chest I pulled my shirt up and over my head in one foul swoop, I reached around and undid my bra and dropped it to the floor. One of his hands left my butt to caress my breast, then his mouth moved to the other one and his tongue teased and tortured me as I arched my back in signal for more.
He set me on my feet for a moment and with us panting in unison we pulled our jeans off and kicked them to the side. I tore his t-shirt off his body and scratched at his skin with my nails, digging them in and clutching him closer. He winced in pain and delight. I pushed at him to make his way over to the bed and I sat him on the edge. I knelt down on the floor and pushed his thighs apart.
"Fuck Bells. God, if you put your sweet lips on me, I won't be able to hold on," he said tangling his hand in the back of my hair.
I shrugged my shoulders and reassured him with a sly grin. "It's ok, we can go twice."
I took him in my hand and teased a trail from the base to the tip with my tongue. I circled the tip over and over and lowered my mouth over him while working up a slow motion with my hand still firmly around the base. He flinched and moaned while I worked my mouth over every inch of his cock over and over and over again, his hands tugging at my hair in approval and his hips bucking under me. I knew he was close. Suddenly his rhythm became disjointed and with some final coaxing from my mouth he exploded in orgasm and moaned out in release.
He quickly scooped me up under my arms and dragged me up over him and kissed my mouth fiercely. "Geez Bells. Your mouth is… awesome!" he breathed while I giggled. He regained his composure and rolled me over to lie on the bed next to him while he propped himself up on an elbow. "I may need a few minutes before I can go again," he said raking his eyes down my naked body. "I'm pretty sure I think of a way to kill those few minutes," he grinned.
I swallowed hard, my mouth was suddenly dry. "Uh huh, I bet you can."
He moved down the bed and sat on the edge as he lifted one of my legs over his head and held it in his hand so he was positioned between them. He lifted my foot to his mouth as a smile played on my lips. I hated my feet being touched, it was like nails down a chalk board and he knew it. His teeth grazed the arch of my foot and I squirmed under him, he threw his head back and laughed, when his eyes met mine again, his seductive glare tore through me and he began trailing bites and licks and sucks up the length of my leg and thigh. Oh God I thought.
My back arched in anticipation as his painfully slow ascent approached his final destination. His hands grasped my butt as his tongue finally touched the place where I was aching for him most. He teasing circled the bundle of nerves that were begging for him and my hips bucked while I buried my hands in his hair and pressed him closer to me. One of his hands met his tongue and he slipped a finger into my wet folds. My thighs instinctively parted further and as he added another finger. Slowly and firmly he moved his fingers in and out and lapped and sucked gently while a wave of heat that started in my stomach transcended through me like a tidal wave and I gasped for air as I came.
I lay there chest heaving with heavy breaths while he worked his way up peppering kisses on my stomach, my breasts, my neck and finally my mouth. "Welcome home honey," he said hovering above me keeping his weight on his strong arms. "I love you so much Bells".
"Best homecoming. I love you too." And we both smiled into a kiss.
He pressed his lower half into me and he was clearly ready for round two. I looked down between us at his erection and raised my eyebrows. "Wow, that was quick."
"Hazard of being between a beautiful woman's legs, honey," he replied. I reached down and wrapped my hand around him and lifted my knees up by his sides. I placed the tip at my slick center and his breath hitched as he flinched slightly. Then I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him into me, he slowly buried himself inside me, one inch at a time as my hips rose to meet his instinctively.
He lifted himself up on his arms while continuing his taunting pace with his thrusts, his eyes showing me the very depths of his emotion. A hand rose to sweep my hair off my cheek. "Let me look at you," he whispered and his gaze was so loving and familiar that I was home in every way possible. The unspoken love was palpable as we connected in the most vital and fundamental way any two people could. We gave our bodies to each other freely and willingly as an extension of our love and connection.
The familiar fire started flickering pit of my gut and I pushed up against Jake and positioned myself to flip him on his back so I could straddle him. He sat up on the edge of the bad and placed his feet on the floor for leverage. His strong hands held my hips to him like a vice, desperately clutching for as much skin to skin contact as possible. My breasts pressed firmly against his chiseled chest as my hips were grinding against his with growing a fever. Our faces inches from each other, breaths mingling and eyes speaking with no words. I adjusted my position and arched my back so there was pressure exactly where it was needed and I continued to grind my hips harder and faster against him. Frantically grasping onto each other the fire rose through my body scorching my senses, he was everywhere, every fiber of my being was enveloped in Jake and with a few final grinds of my pelvis against his the intense heat swallowed me whole and him right after in an instant.
We held each other just like that, me on his lap and him on the edge of the bed, just us, easy as breathing and effortless. Our fingers entwined of their own accord and he lifted my left hand to his lips. He gently placed a kiss on my ring finger, "I promise you Bells, I will put a ring on this finger soon…" his voice broke slightly, "I want nothing more than to be with my best friend for the rest of our lives."
"Jake…" I began, "I don't need the ring and a wedding, I'm yours already in every way that matters, mind, body and soul. It was always yours, even when I didn't realize it". Our arms wrapped around one another and we lay down and drifted off embraced in each others arms.
Just over a month later it was Christmas. We were hosting at our house and we had Rebecca, Tama and Milly flying in and Rachael and her now husband Logan were also joining us so it was going to be a big family celebration.
Jake was so excited to see Milly, we had visited a handful of times but between lack of time and lack of funds, it was nowhere near enough for him. She was four now and ever the inquisitive child. She loved her uncle Jake so, and he loved her back twice as much, she looked so much like him that I couldn't help but think about what our children would look like. He was so good with her, just a natural and my maternal instinct kicked into overdrive at the sight of him doting on her.
Two days before New Years Eve, Rebecca and I had gone up to Port Angeles for the day. We'd done some shopping and stopped off to have lunch. I hadn't been feeling great and I was run down which I blamed on house guests and Christmas. I was having sharp pains in my stomach which were getting worse and when I excused myself to the ladies I almost passed out when I saw red seeping through my jeans. Rebecca took me to the hospital immediately and after a once over from a doctor and a scan, it turned out I was nearly 7 weeks pregnant. The bout of food poisoning made my taking the pill redundant as I couldn't keep anything down. I never even thought about that.
I was terrified at the news, I felt like I was a child and how would I explain this to my parents. We just moved into our house and there were so many bills to pay and I wanted to finish college and he wanted me to be his wife first before children. We weren't ready but when is it ever the right time? The realization that our love could create a life was overwhelming and I was soon craving the vision that flooded my mind, Jake running around the yard with a black haired child while I cooked and looked out the bay window at them in awe surrounded by the swaying willow trees. I wanted it so badly now and yet it was being taken away from me, from us in the very same breath.
The doctor explained what the heavy bleeding most likely signaled, and that these things happen and most of the time the woman never even realizes that she's pregnant, it felt like an outer body experience, I wanted to scream and tell him to shut up. He told me they'd do a scan when the bleeding subsided. How could this be happening? Our future was being stolen from us and there was not a thing I could do. I fought a monster and survived but I could not fight nature. My body was failing me.
I asked Rebecca to call Jake, but I made sure she didn't reveal why I was here. He drove up with Tama so Rebecca could go home with him.
When he arrived, he was frantic, his eyes flooded with fear as he nervously bit his lip. He was at my side smoothing my hair and touching my face. "Bells, honey what is it? What's wrong?" he asked holding my hand tightly in his.
My eyes were red and swollen from crying. I moved our clasped hands to my lower abdomen and lay his hand over it. His eyes followed and remained there as he spoke in a broken whisper "Bells?" He tried to wear a mask of calm but it was crumbling before me.
"Our baby was in there" I told him simply as tears ran down my cheeks.
"Was?" he asked as he processed the weight of my words. His eyes glazed over instantly and his tears spilled.
"I mean is or was, they're not sure yet," I attempted to explain, "but the doctor's not too optimistic."
"Oh honey," he lifted up to kiss my forehead and touched his lips to mine still resting the palm of his other hand on my belly in an instinctually protective gesture. "Are you alright, I mean are you in pain?"
I wiped my nose with my hand and shook my head. "They gave me medication." The look on his face registered when he realized I received pain medication, given my history, his concern was warranted. "Jake I'm so sorry." And I cried a river all over again.
"Shh, Bells this is not your fault, don't you ever blame yourself," he comforted.
"Oh God Jake. I didn't know that I wanted this so much until now, and it's being ripped away from me," his sob broke through the silent room. "I wanted to give you this… gift, this baby, after everything we went through, it would be like coming full circle or something." His head lay on my chest now, he was still crying but no sound was coming from him, his head faced away from me, I knew where his gaze lay. "I knew I had too much happiness, more than I deserved."
"How can you say that?" he asked still lying on my chest, I raked my fingernails through his hair in a soothing gesture. "Your happiness is my happiness and we both deserve it."
I kept my hand on his head, he kept his head on my chest and his palm over my stomach and our dreams lay shattered on the sterile floor. A nurse came in and gave me a sedative to get some sleep, I refused but Jake insisted that I rested. She inserted the syringe into the tube attached to my veins and a heaviness washed over me that sent me into oblivion. My pain was diluted with drugs but Jake's pain was raw and he was alone. I instantly regretted accepting the sedative.
When I awoke several hours later, Jake was standing in the doorway speaking with a doctor in hushed tones. My eyes squinted from the light of the lamp beside me, it was dark outside. When they completed their conversation the doctor left and Jake came back to my side.
He looked awful, his usual sunniness dulled by the dark circles under his puffy eyes. "Hey honey," he said as he gently caressed my cheek with the back of his hand, "do you need anything?"
I shook my head, I was more concerned about what the doctor had said. "Was that Dr Epstein?"
"Yes, he said that they'll keep you in overnight and we can go home tomorrow," he explained. "Um, he said you'll get an ultrasound before you get discharged, just to confirm…" He couldn't finish the sentence as a lump rose in his throat. He looked over his shoulder to regain his composure before continuing, "apparently this happens a lot, it doesn't mean that we can't try again soon".
I was drained and devoid of emotion now. "How can I even think about trying again?"
"Oh Bells. I didn't mean right away," he responded firmly squeezing my hand. "When we are ready again, we can talk about it."
I gnawed at my dry lip and I blurted out what was plaguing my mind. "What if I can't have babies? I mean what if my body just doesn't work right?"
He sighed heavily. "Bella, you are everything I've ever wanted."
"What if you decide I'm not enough?"
"Honey, I am whole and complete with you. I wouldn't want a child with anyone else and if that's not in our future than so be it." I knew he didn't believe that any more than I did. He was born to be a daddy.
"Have you told anyone else?" I asked
"I told Charlie and my dad, but I didn't tell them why," he clarified. "Let's just get some rest and I'll take you home tomorrow." He lay down next to me in the tiny hospital bed, legs hanging off the end and he wrapped his arms around me tightly enveloping me in his warmth and safety. Nothing could touch me when he was right by my side, but the thought of going back tomorrow to this home which we'd envisioned filled with children one day was excruciating. My dreams taunted me that night with images of what may never be. Children bearing my brown eyes and Jake's black hair and tan skin playing on the shores of First Beach while Jake chased after them.
The next morning I was exhausted from my restless slumber. A nurse came in to remove the canula and drip from my hand and I was able to shower. I felt light headed so Jake joined me in the bathroom to keep an eye on me. The bleeding had stopped completely and as I washed over my abdomen I didn't feel the emptiness I was expecting, my hand glided over the soft soapy skin and I imagined a full blossoming belly in its place and smiled. I glanced over at Jake who was trying to hide his tears from me. I had none left to shed.
I rinsed off and Jake was ready with arms wide open and he draped a towel over me. He lovingly dried me off gently, he knelt down in front of me to dry my legs when his breath became ragged and he placed his forehead against my belly, his lips brushed against me as he spoke softly. "Bells I'm so sorry," and I felt his hot tears spill and trickle down my stomach. I held his head in my hands as I soothed him.
When I was dressed in a new pair of sweat pants Jake had bought for me from a store at the local mall, a nurse came in to lead us to the Ultrasound department. The technician then led us into a small exam room which was dimly lit and I lay on the vinyl bed and lifted my shirt and rolled down the waist of my pants. The technician turned the monitor around so I couldn't see anything, she then squirted the warm gel on my belly and placed the wand to it and pressed around. She poked and prodded around while Jake sat at my side holding my hand.
After a while she told us she was going to call Dr Epstein to come in and she picked up the receiver. The doctor arrived a few minutes later and poked and prodded some more before he spoke.
"Ms Swan," he began turning the monitor back in our direction, "it seems that the bleeding was caused by a sub-chorionic hematoma." Jake and I looked at each other confused, "in basically means there was a blood clot between the placenta and the uterus that was the cause of the bleeding."
Jake swallowed audibly, "go on Dr Epstein."
"Well, I'm happy to say that the embryo seems to be doing fine," he confirmed as he pointed to the tiny jelly bean on the screen. "And see this flickering right here," he pointed to a tiny flutter of movement in the bean, "that is a beating heart of 148 beats per minute."
Jake and I looked at each other and began bawling, he hugged me so tight I almost couldn't breathe. "Oh my gosh," I said "so everything is ok?"
"Well the embryo is normal at this stage but the hematoma puts you in a high risk category so you will need more thorough check ups. But I can't see why you shouldn't go full term with this pregnancy,"
Our little jelly bean had a strong beating heart, just like its daddy's, thumping hard against my cheek where it rested on his chest.
"So an official congratulations is in order Ms Swan, Mr Black."
Jake gave Dr Epstein a firm handshake. "Yhank you doctor." The doctor left and the technician congratulated us and left the room to get some pictures of our jelly bean she was printing.
"Pinch me Jake…" I asked "I must be dreaming."
"God Bells, I was so freakin' scared." He held me tight, "I wasn't sure how we were gonna get through this."
I sighed into his chest and lifted my head. "Take me home please."
"Gladly honey," he replied. "I love you so much Bells. I'm gonna be a daddy," he said in complete awe. "I mean we're going to be a mommy and daddy."
I smiled, elated with joy, "yes we are, and you will be the best daddy ever"
He crouched down and put his lips to my belly. "Hey there jelly bean," he began stroking it lightly with his fingertips, "I'm your daddy," and he looked up at me with a beaming grin spread wide across his beautiful face.
Our Jelly Bean was due on 17th August. I'd hoped for an easy pregnancy after the drama filled start but to no avail. The morning sickness, make that all day long sickness, began almost immediately after the new year. It lasted well into the second trimester, which everyone assured me is when the hormones calm down and the sickness ceases, but that was not the case here. I thanked God every day that our bean was well enough to be making me so sick and I ate and ate nearly everything in sight to curb the ever present nausea. I couldn't stand the smell of coffee and any meat and I devoured salads and fruit, funnily enough.
By the time the nausea wore off twenty weeks into the pregnancy, I was sporting a huge baby bump. I was quietly terrified of the size of this child, with Jake's genetic pool, he was sure to dominate in most attributes of this baby.
By thirty four weeks I felt like a whale, I could no longer fit into my shoes and my uniform was very stretchy pants and t-shirt. At thirty six weeks a scan revealed this baby was already well over eight pounds, I was petrified. How would I get this baby out? I had stacked on over 40 pounds of weight and Jake doted on me to the point of annoyance. He found my swollen state irresistible but the furthest thing from my mind was sex. I'd heard stories from Emily that when she was pregnant with her boys she was an animal on heat and couldn't get enough. Jared's Kim also sang the praises of pregnancy lovemaking but I cringed at the thought.
At thirty eight weeks I was ready to explode, the doctor suggested some good old fashioned love making to speed things along. Apparently 'baby batter', as Jake so lovingly referred to semen as, acts like a ripening agent for the cervix. I'd tried all the other things like walking, spicy food, bouncy car rides and more but nothing. So I gave in and had the most awkward sex of my life not to mention painful. But he deposited his 'baby batter' and I lay there willing it to work its magic.
At thirty eight weeks and four days I had some pains all day but I encouraged Jake to go to work, he was only minutes away if necessary. Sue was over helping with some last minute washing of baby clothes. The nursery was ready, a beautiful crib that had been Jake's as a baby sat in the corner of the lemon colored room that was decorated in a simple tree motif with birds adorning the walls. A beautiful blanket draped over the crib, hand knitted by Jake's late mother Sarah. And the wardrobe was full of neutral colored clothing sent from Alice and the Cullen's and Renee.
I walked around our porch rubbing my lower belly, soothing the tightenings away while breathing deeply, admiring the willow trees and letting my surroundings calm me. I kept wondering if this was one of the many false alarms you hear about with pregnant women. I know Emily made three trips to the hospital only to be sent back home. Surely even if this was a false alarm it meant our jelly bean was getting close.
The pain was getting worse and harder to deal with and I finally caved and asked Sue to call Jake to come home. Relief flooded through me as soon as he took my hand and he rubbed my back and helped with calm breaths. Two hot showers later I was in agony and felt like I was going to explode so we made our way to the hospital. The doctor confirmed this was the real thing and I was very near ready to push. I think I would have kicked him in the face if he had told me it was a false alarm, I didn't think I could handle any more pain than this.
The next few hours in the hospital were a blur of Jake's soothing words of encouragement, Charlie's brief visit, nurses darting in and out and the sweet gas, oh I sucked on that thing like my life depended on it. I felt semiconscious with exhaustion when I was told it was finally time to push. Jake anchored me to reality just enough to get through it and bring our baby into this world. It was a team effort in every sense. He encouraged and cheered me on even after my foul mouthed outburst blaming him for this agonizing state.
Finally after an hour and twelve minutes of pushing our beautiful baby girl was gingerly lifted out by her fathers strong hands and placed right on my chest, she nestled perfectly between my breasts and instinctively pecked at me searching for nourishment.
The love that filled the room was so profound that we sat in silence for what seemed like the longest time. "Happy birthday baby girl" Jake whispered as he kissed the top of her head and then my lips. He cried silently and I along with him. Tears of pure joy washed over our faces as our little angel opened her eyes to look at us. "I am so in love with you honey, and our little girl," his sighed with genuine contentment. "I'm so complete, there's nothing more I need. This is perfect right here."
The doctor discreetly slipped away after he finished working on me and we were left alone under the magic spell of our jellybean. We counted her fingers and toes and traced the outline of her perfect little cupid's bow mouth. She had a dark mop of black hair and huge brown eyes. Our family bonding was cut short with necessities like weighing and measuring, our not so little jellybean weighed in at just shy of nine pounds.
Eager grampa's were ready to meet their granddaughter and they bawled. They actually high fived each other and we laughed, they were clearly as mesmerized by this little bundle as we were. Charlie was beaming with pride as he held her in his shaky arms.
"Your mom's on her way Bells," he said.
"Oh of course, does she know it's a girl?" I asked.
"No, she hopped on a plane before she was born, she'll be here soon." He couldn't keep his eyes off of her, "have you guys decided on a name?"
"Charlie, you mean you don't like Jelly Bean?" Jake asked comically.
"We have," I told him swatting at Jake's arm, "her name is Kai Hope Black"
Billy smiled knowingly while Jake explained, "Kai means willow tree in Native American."
Charlie's eyes teared over, "that's just perfect," he sniffed. "So when is Kai getting a brother or sister?"
We all laughed hysterically as Kai squirmed in his arms. He reluctantly handed her over into her daddy's capable hands where Jake nestled her right into the crook of his arm. Charlie and Billy left us in private while they ventured out to the cafeteria.
"She is so tiny," Jake mused.
"Um, I can promise you she didn't feel that way to me on the way out," I corrected.
He sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand to his lips. "This is the best day of my entire life, everything is right with the world Bells. It's utterly perfect".
I kissed his lips. It was absolutely perfect.
A/N – so there you have it amigos… please share your thoughts. If you love me… won't you let me know (thank you Coldplay for those inspiring words) But if you hate me – keep it to yourself… I kid, I kid! let me know that too.
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