Heyyyy! This is my first BTR fanfiction and truthfully I'm super nervous about posting it! I ran this by VioletButterfly12 and she said go for it! This ones for you girl! But I love these boys! Logan is SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT! (if you get that reference you epically win at life and are my new best friend!) Not supposed to be Slash, but if you want to view it that way I'm not gonna stop you =) It's inspired by two things. In Big Time Video when they lock Bitters in the trunk all I could think of is how I would be freaking out if that happened to me. And then very very slightly by the Grave Digger storyline on Bones, but very very lightly because he's not buried alive, but now that I think about it that could be a really good idea... Oh well enough with my rambling! Enjoy and please review!
Hairs were standing on end, eyes were dilated, air was coming in sharp gasps as he tried to get the panic under control. It was brimming over the edge of the careful constructed box it was usually balled up in. Threatening to boil over at any moment.
Breathe Logan, Just Breathe.
The darkness was infallible. Wider and wider he opened his eyes, but he still couldn't penetrate it. His eyes stung and he shut them quickly, not letting the tears fall, the last thing he needed was to totally lose it.
Sticking his hands out they were stopped less than a foot in front of him by the lid of the trunk. A rumbling started making his whole body, and the trunk, vibrate slightly. The car had been started.
With a jerk Logan was propelled forward in the tiny space and hit the opposite side of the trunk. His shoulder connected with the wall and he let out a wince of pain. A chuckle was heard from the other side of the wall and a voice called out "Sorry Logan!"
Rolling over on his back, hand on his hurting shoulder he let out a shaky breath. His stomach constricted violently and he felt a dizzying wave of nausea crashed over him. He barely contained the bile rising in his throat, knowing emptying his stomach in this small space would not help the situation at all.
How could they have done this to him? They were supposed to be his friends! He was supposed to trust and count on them. As the car came to a stop again Logan was once again jerked forward, this time his head hitting the side. Tiny white lights exploded in his vision. He was dazed for a second and didn't register the fact that they had stared moving again.
As the pain vanished the panic took back over. He began banging on the hood, trying desperately to free himself. Hysteria was creeping over him, shutting down his mind, not allowing him to think. He couldn't stop the stinging in his eyes this time and let the tears fall. Like the breaking of a dam the water flowed suddenly and strongly while he was gasping, lungs failing him and causing him to curl into himself.
As his knees came to his chest, a small object dug into his thigh. Reaching his hand down his heart leapt. How could he have forgotten about his cell phone?
Trying to push the panic away so he could think he dragged his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. Flipping it open light shone in the small space, allowing him to see his surrounding for the first time, although there wasn't mush to look at, beside Logan the trunk was completely empty.
Scrolling hurriedly through his contact he came on the one name he knew he could count on. He pressed the OK button that shone brightly over the name Kendall. Feeling his heart lighten at the very thought of Kendall being able to him get out of here he pressed Call and held the phone to his ear.
The line beeped and Logan pulled the phone back to look at the screen. The bottom of his stomach gave out as his heart hammered a disjointed rhythm in his chest. His eyes widened as he stared at the screen the words No service blinking innocently over and over again.
He lost it. This could not be happening, his one hope yanked away from him. How did he not have cell service? They were in the middle of L.A. for god sakes! He started trembling, his whole body shaking violently. Breathes were coming in short spurts, his lungs feeling like they were collapsing. He was losing control of his mind and body. His hands jumped to his hair, pulling violently, just trying to concentrate on a plan, because that's what he was, the planner, the level-headed one. But then the sensation increased and he said fuck it to planning and logical thinking. He just started screaming, pounding on the trunk, kicking the sides. Pain shoots through his limbs as they connected with the metal, but he didn't even care anymore. He couldn't breathe, the more he struggled the less breathe he was able to take in, but he couldn't stop fighting, couldn't stop trying to get the hell out, into fresh air and open skies, not tight spaces were the walls closed in on you.
His heartbeat was pounding in his head. Suddenly a buzzing filled the air and Logan felt a vibration that was not from shaking on his torso. His phone was ringing. He didn't have a moment to dwell on the miracle that was sudden cell service; not even looking at the caller id he wrenched it open and put the phone to his ear. He still wasn't drawing in as much breath as he need to and was getting lightheaded fast. He could barely discern the words being spoken on the other line, but instantly recognized the voice. It was Kendall!
Logan tried and failed to form words as the world around him got even darker if possible. "Hello?...Logan are you there?" Logan's breathing became weazy and he could hear Kendall's tone change over the phone. "Dude are you ok?...Logan where are you? What's wrong?" Worry was in his voice, but Logan was losing consciousness and fast.
He was barely able to form the word "Help" before total complete darkness and numbness consumed him, but that didn't last for long.
He was seven. Logan was sitting on the living room couch hiding his face from his father, who was getting angry fast. "Completely unacceptable! A B+? Really Logan? I thought we set theses rules earlier! No straight A's no more hockey practices, no more friends over, no more anything!"
Logan was trying not to cry. He had always had a fear of people yelling, of being a disappointment. Say a few harsh words to him in a raised voice and he wouldn't be able to stop the tears. It was a stupid and embarrassing trait he couldn't help but hate about himself. He had learned long ago that his father only grew angrier in the presence of tears. "Real men don't cry!" He would yell over and over again when Logan was younger.
"I'm sorry dad!" Logan said his voice quivering slightly. "But it was only one test! I promise I'll do better on the next one!"
"You better, or you know what will happen!"
Logan gulped. Every time he got in trouble, even if it was just a toe out of line, his father would threaten the same thing; Locked in the cupboard under the stairs for hours on end, a small cramped space with no room to move a muscle and dark as night. Unrestrained fear shot through him like ice water running over his skin and he shivered.
Ever since he was three and his cousin "accidently" locked him in the cupboard when they were playing hide-and-seek he had been highly claustrophobic. If there were to many people in a car he would freak and have to get out. Elevators were also bad, he would feel like the walls were about to close in, suffocating him.
The scene dissolved. Suddenly, he was thirteen, but was on the same couch he had been in the last memory. His dad was also there again, this time pacing back and forth. His face was red and a vein was pulsing on his neck. "Well? Have an explanation?"
"No." Logan said in a small voice that had fear and panic etched into it.
"You know what this means." It wasn't a question.
A small whimper escaped his lips and he begged "Dad please don't! It's just art! So, I can't draw very well. What's the big deal?"
That set his dad off "Oh so it's no big deal that you got a B! No big deal that you obviously didn't put enough work in! You're pathetic! Can't even pass the easy classes! How do you think you're gonna hold up in high school when you can't even ace art class!" He turned to face Logan. A single tear made its way down his cheek as Logan tried frantically to wipe it off before his father could see it. It was the last straw.
Before he could comprehend what was happening his father had hold on the back of his shirt and was dragging him down a flight of stairs to the basement. "Dad! Please don't! Please!" Logan yelled, fighting against his father's grip. Without another word he threw Logan into the small space and shut the door violently, locking it, he turned away leaving Logan to sob in the dark, beating on the door to get out. He yelped when a loose nail was jabbed into the side of his hand
Blood ran down his arm, the nail forcing it's way deeper into his hands the harder he pounded. He threw his whole weight against the door, but it refused to budge. "No, no, NO! This can't be happening! PLEASE! HELP!" He cried out hoping, praying, that someone, anyone, would hear him.
Somewhere above he heard a door slam, followed by the sounds of his fathers car starting and pulling away. Logan gave up his screaming. No one else was in the house, there was no one to come and rescue him. He fell backwards letting his back hit the wall with a loud thud. Pain was shooting from the nail stuck in his hand, he looked down to see it embedded an inch in his skin. He roughly yanked it out, watching as fresh blood leaked out of the wound. He knew he should apply pressure to stem the blood flow, it had been in one of his medical textbooks, but looking down at the offending wound he couldn't bring himself to.
It wasn't that the blood freaked him out. He wanted to be a doctor one day, and that would be a poor career choice if a little blood turned his stomach. The truth was Logan was hoping he would just bleed, and keep on bleeding, until there was nothing left, until he was out of this hell hole . Logically he knew it wouldn't happen. There was no way a puncture so small could cause him to bleed out, but the more he stared at it the more he wished it was true. His dad could stop worrying about his loser son, his mom wouldn't have to pretend he didn't exist or that she couldn't hear him crying in the middle of the night.
Then his mind sprung to his friends. Kendall, James, Carlos... They were his real family. He would have to stay for them. He couldn't leave them; they were the only things that kept him from running away, or worse. Minutes or maybe it was hours passed with Logan just sitting in the dark, trying to keep the panic under control, his mind on his friends.
He was focusing on his friends so much that for a second he thought he heard Kendall's voice calling out to him. He shook his head. He was going crazy, that was the only explanation. See there it was again, Kendall's voice. But as it continued Logan realized that he wasn't crazy, that was actually Kendall. Kendall was here. Kendall could get him out!
"KENDALL!" Logan yelled, renewing his attacks on the door. "KENDALL, I'M IN THE BASEMENT! HELP!"
The banging of feet running down the stairs echo around the room and then Kendall was yelling "Logan? Dude where are you?"
"Here! I'm under the stairs!" Logan said a sob escaping his chest from a mixture of relief and the need to be in open air. On the other side of the door Kendall fumbled with the lock. A click signified that Kendall had succeeded and Logan fell through the open door on to all four. Breathing heavily he looked up at his friend. Confusion and shock were the dominate emotions, but somewhere behind his eyes there was also anger.
"Logan, what happened? Why were you in there?"
Instead of answering him, Logan just sobbed. Relief was coming in waves over his body, calming his nerves, but then there was fear. Fear he would have to tell Kendall what had happened. Who had locked him in and refused to let him out no matter how hard he begged.
He felt Kendall drop down next to him and place a reassuring hand on his back. "Logan, you're bleeding! You've got blood everywhere!" Logan looked down at his hand pressed against the cold stone floor. It had long ago stopped bleeding, but Logan had absent mindedly ran his hand over his face are arms serval times, leaving long smears of the deep red liquid behind. He couldn't answer, his mind not telling his mouth how to form words, he just stared from the blood on his arms to Kendall's face.
Kendall seemed to understand that Logan couldn't say anything at the moment because he put and arm around Logan's waist and pulled him to a standing position. Lugging his friend along Kendall slowly climbed the stairs, getting little to no help from Logan. When they were finally in Logan's room Kendall set him down lightly on his bed and looked into his eyes. They were distant, unfocused, like his mind was miles away."Logan!" His behavior was starting to make Kendall panic. How long had he been locked in that closet? "I need you to tell me what happened."
Logan's eyes focused slightly as he looked into Kendall's green orbs filled with worry for his best friend. Suddenly everything came poring out of Logan's mouth like a waterfall. How is cousin had first locked him in the cupboard. The way his dad would always threaten to lock him up in there if he got a bad grade, and how today it had finally happened. Tears were falling by the end and Kendall had pulled his friend into a tight hug, trying to hide his shock and disgust that someone would do that to their own son.
"You can't just let this go." Kendall said once Logan had calmed down slightly. "You have to tell someone! We can't just let him get away with his!"
"It's no use Kendall."
"No use? Come on Logan! What about your mom?"
"Like she'll believe me." He sniffed and burried his head deeper in Kendall's chest. "She always takes his side, no matter what. Just drop it Kendall."
"At least tell James and Carlos!"
"No!"Logan pulled back out of Kendall's arms to look him straight in the eyes. "They can't know! No one can know!"
"Because I can deal with it!"
"Obviously you can't! Look at yourself! Your still shaking ! And your hand is gonna need stitches!"
"Please Kendall, don't tell!" Logan was starting to panic again, heart rate was increasing, breathe was becoming harder to manage.
"Logan calm down." Kendall said soothingly scooting closer toward the smaller boy. To his surprise Logan flinched. They both sat for a moment, each stunned by Logan's reaction. Logan himself couldn't identify why he had done it, but he soon felt guilty.
"S-sorry." He said weakly, hoping that Kendall wasn't mad at him, but also knowing it was Kendall and he would never hate him.
"It's fine. You've been through a lot." He paused for a moment grappling for the right words that would make everything ok and take that haunted look out of his best friend's eyes. But he couldn't find the words, couldn't make this ok because this as beyond hat he could fix and it killed him. He as the leader, he fixed peoples problems, stood up for them when they couldn't do it themselves. One look at Logan told Kendall that he ould never be fully fixed, there would always be peices missing, because John Mitchell had gone to far this time.
"How-how did you even get in?" Logan breathed, his words barley audible.
"We were gonna work on our science project remember? The door was unlocked so I just came in when I didn't see your dad's car. I'm glad I did. Who knows how long you would have been stuck down there."
Logan nodded, mouth to dry to speak. Kendall scooted closer once again and Logan resisted the urge to lean away. It was stupid because Kendall would never hurt him, bur irrational as it was, the fear was still there.
"Why won't you let me help you?"
"Kendall please don't make me do this right now!" he was panicking again and he didn't even know why. "I'm just not ready. I don't want anyone to know. Please Kendall, for me, can we just not talk about it. I can't talk about it."
The pain in his voice was so gut-wrenching that Kendall could feel his heart breaking. He was battling the two voices in his head, each telling him to do drastically different things. One was saying to forget what Logan wanted and give him what he needed and that was to get him the hell away from his parents so they could never hurt him again. The other was telling him to drop it so he wouldn't have to see anymore pain pass Logan's features.
"Ok." He said, giving into the second voice, for now at least. "I won't make you, but Logan," he said his stomach turning slightly from the relief in Logan eyes. "I'm not letting this go. And if it ever happens again I'm not giving you a choice of what to do. I'll do what needs to be done even if you don't want to."
Logan nodded letting out a shaky breath. It wouldn't happen again. He would keep his grades up and make his dad proud of him.
"Now come on." Kendall grabbed Logan arm and pulled him into a standing position. "Lets go get you cleaned up."
The mist was clearing, reality was slowing invading his mind again. The realization of where he was struck him and he was paralyzed, distress pouring out of his pores, but then he heard voices.
"Where is he?"
"Logan! Where is he?"
It was Kendall, Logan felt himself calm slightly knowing he was so close, close enough to save him again.
"In the trunk."
"What? What were you guys thinking?"
"Whats the big deal?"
"Give me the keys! NOW!"
A second later the trunk was forced open and bright light scorched Logan's eyes. Arms were suddenly surrounding him, pulling him up and away from the trunk. He felt his knees hit pavement. Air was working its away through his lungs again. He could breath. So he focused on that, breathing in and out, in and out as he clutched Kendall's shirt, silently begging him not to let go. Now he was safe, no one could hurt him because Kendall would always protect him.
Somewhere above him James spoke though Logan could barely hear over the sound of air entering and leaving his lungs. "I don't understand."
"I was just about to say the same thing." Kendall sneered, venom dripping from his voice.
Silence followed. No one dared speak for a moment. The only noise was Logan's rapid deep breathing. To everyones surprise it was Logan who spoke, still gasping "It-its not their fault. They didn't know."
"Don't talk Logan, just breath." Kendall said then whispered in his ear "It's all ok now. No one is going to hurt you."
Hearing the words out loud help Logan calm a bit. He was able to loosen his grip on Kendall's shirt and look up at his other two friends. They looked horrible, faces a mixture of confusion and unrestrained guilt at what they had done.
"Logan-" Carlos's voice mirrored the emotions on his face. His mouthed moved as if to form more words, but no sound came out.
"Is somebody going to tell me what happened?" Kendall said still angry that anyone could hurt Logan so much, granted he knew his two friends didn't know about Logan's extreme claustrophobia, but he couldn't stop the animosity that colored his voice.
"We," James said taking the lead when Carlos looked like he wouldn't be able to form cohesive sentences. "We wanted to drive to go get food and Logan said it was irresponsible because we only have our permits. And we threw Bitters in the trunk that one time when were wanted to drive around so we just, we just . . . " He trailed off after the look Kendall gave him could have killed him then in there.
"It's not their fault." Logan had his breathing back to an almost normal pace and he no longer felt light headed. "It's mine. I never told them." He suddenly looked back at Kendall "I shouldn't have stopped you when you wanted to tell everyone. You were right."
"No. If I was truly right I wouldn't have listened to you and done it anyway."
James and Carlos looked at each other confused, but before they could question anything Logan stood up, steadying himself against Kendall, who had also gotten to his feet and was staring at Logan, unrestrained worry in his eyes. "Can we just go upstairs and I promise I'll explain everything later?" Logan looked so desperate for even a little comfort that everyone nodded without hesitation.
Logan knew what he was going to have to do. He was going to have to relive the memories again, just as painful as his dream in the trunk. But it had also opened his eyes. You can't keep secrets from your best friends, not when they deserved to know. So he would live through that hell again, because he loved his friends enough to go through that for them, just as long as they would never stuff him in a trunk again.
But right now wasn't the time to tell. Right now was a time to calm down and get his emotions in check before he delved into the story. It was a time to forget about his past and focus on the future which was bright and shining and open. Enclosed spaces couldn't hold him for long.
So yeah thats it! I don't really like the ending, it just feeling awkward to me, :/ but maybe you feel differently! The only way to let me know is in a review! I've got ALOT more BTR stuff coming up! It's gonna be TOTALLY AWESOME! (again, if you get that you rule at life!) Hope you liked this! =D Have a lovely life!