A/N: Thank you to 'Abby' for being a wonderful person and getting me re-inspired for this story. I love the song you suggested so much I even downloaded it. I will use that song in the sequel to this story! I figured dragging out this plot was pretty much useless so I decided to make a part two to the Chuckie and Angelica love story. If anyone knows me, they know I love to do franchises. LOL. Thanks again for everyone's support and hope to see you REAL soon for the sequel! Thanks for enjoying my dark, twisted fantasies. -SensuallyPassionate
Chapter theme song: 'Come and Get It' by: Selena Gomez
"And what happened after you two rang in the New Year?"
I popped in another peppermint, letting out a low sigh. I kept looking at the sudden windstorm that swept the kiss of winter against his office window. It grew dark earlier than I expected so I was expecting to be met with subzero temperatures when I left his warm, cozy building. I smiled. "We cuddled in silence for about two hours until he got up to shower and took me home."
I watched Dr. Lyles write something in his infamous notepad, grinning slightly. "Did you two talk about the abortion?" I nodded in response, hoping he wouldn't ask about it. "What did you guys talk about?"
I remained silent for a minute, recollecting the distant memory. I kept looking down at the carpeted floor, hoping to disappear. When Charles had startled me that evening, he was the last person I expected to see. I knew he was scheduled to leave for Connecticut within the next few days and with all our drama, I did not think for a second that he would want to spend one of his last days in town with the woman that broke his heart.
When we got into the car, there was a momentary spell of silence until I asked him how he knew where to find me; Suzie being the one to tell him. He revved up the ignition and quietly drove around downtown for about an hour until he settled on taking me to a hotel for the night. I tried to ask him what he was thinking and even offered to just take a cab home if he wanted to be alone but he shushed me with a small kiss before dragging me into the Four Seasons for the night.
I rubbed my chest, closing my eyes as I imagined his sweet trail of butterfly kisses against my collarbone; gently nipping against my skin to venture lower into the familiar terrain of my body. "He asked me why I kept my pregnancy a secret from him."
"What did you say?"
"I told him the truth: that I did not know if the baby was his or that Jamaican guy I slept with and that I didn't want to chance it."
Dr. Lyles scribbled something again in his notepad, this time saying 'interesting'. "What's interesting?" I asked.
"Angelica, may I ask you a personal question?"
"How much more personal can you get, honestly?"
He chuckled, nodding in agreement. He removed his thin frames to set them on his desk before folding his hands. "Did you feel that by bringing a baby into the world you would only hold Chuckie back more?"
I gulped, trying to think. Truth was, I did consider that position. Chuckie had already stayed behind in Michigan for me and the last thing I wanted to do was make him a premature father on top of that. I also knew that Charles was raised much better than that to have a child with a woman and not marry her. I knew that if I did tell him I was pregnant he would have waited until there could be a DNA test done and if the child had been his, he would have married me immediately. As much as my heart truly wanted to be Mrs. Angelica Charlotte Finster, I was not willing to manipulate my beloved just to get my happy ending. After all, I was the reason we broke up in the first place.
I nodded. "I couldn't live with myself if I had done that."
"What do you do to cope now, Angelica? Chuckie is gone right?"
"He left two weeks ago…he won't be back until mid-May."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I don't feel anymore." I spoke honestly. I looked at him. "I just turn all my emotions off and grow numb."
"Do you still drink? Engage in promiscuous activity? Anti-depressants?"
I sighed, nodding again. I hated how he had to prey so damn hard into my life. "My dad left around the same time Chuckie left, so my mom brought back in the liquor to drown out her own sorrows and now that I am single and don't have to worry about Chuckie anymore, I have sex at least twice a day with either people I know or men I meet online or wherever. But I don't pop the anti-depressants anymore, coming here and talking to you helped that a little bit." I paid him a rare compliment.
"Well thank you." He grinned. "Do you use protection at least, Angelica?"
I shook my head. "Doesn't feel the same and doesn't...well..."
"To curb your appetite?" he asked softly. I answered to his displeasure. "That is not healthy, Angelica. Do you have any other interests aside from sex?"
I had to think for a minute. It had been a long time since I did much of anything else. When I wasn't drinking or screwing someone, I found myself enjoying writing short stories to relieve stress. I even took the initiative to go to a few debate matches between my cousin's school and a few other schools whose debates were offered to the public. "I like to write sometimes but I really enjoy watching a good debate."
"Yes. I used to be on my high-school debate team but when the family drama happened, I could hardly focus so I quit. I really enjoy arguing, proving a point, and researching."
He wrote something again, this time with a smile. "Do you have ambitions to become a lawyer?"
I shrugged. "I gave it thought but I'm too fucked up to be some lawyer, Dr. Lyles."
"You aren't 'fucked up' as you say, Angelica. You are just dealing with the stress in your life the best way you know how; it's a defense mechanism."
I rolled my eyes, glancing down at my watch. It was getting close to six and my mom had told me before she dropped me off she expected me home by seven at the latest. She and I were working on rebuilding out broken relationship but it was going to take some time and not happen overnight. She started off by actually becoming my mother and not trying to be my friend. She had set a minor curfew, actually conversed with me, and even tried to spend time with me. We didn't talk about my father or the incident with Chuckie but she did console me and tell me that she apologizes for not being attentive when her daughter needed her most. That meant a lot to me, especially coming from her.
"I have to get ready to go." I stood, grabbing my jacket. "My mother wants me home by seven for dinner."
"Oh, that's good!" Dr. Lyles exclaimed. He closed his notepad. "You two getting along well?"
"I understand." He stood, smiling. "I want you to find another outlet to let out your frustrations, Angelica." He paused to write something on the back of his business card, handing it to me. "I also want you to attend one of these meetings to see how you like it."
"What is it?" I asked reading it. It was a discussion group for sex addicts. "Why do I need to go here?"
"You can seriously find yourself hurt if you continue this behavior, Angelica. I want you to make an honest attempt to attend one of these sessions."
I smacked my lips, shoving on my wool hat and mittens. I stuffed the business card in my purse as he escorted me out his office and walked with me to the elevator. "What do they talk about?"
"Everything and anything." He gave a warm smile. "You are not alone with your addiction, Angelica, but I want you to seriously try and find something else to occupy your time with. Write a short story or better yet, join your school's debate team."
I scoffed. "It's a junior college, I don't know if we have that; especially since I just re-enrolled after not showing up to class for the longest."
"Anything is better than giving your all to someone who isn't truly there." He spoke as the elevator had slowly creaked open. I gave him a small hug, thanking him again. "Angelica, one last question?"
"Shoot." I said, holding the elevator.
"Do you feel you and Charles will get back together?"
I thought long and hard about that question once before. I honestly didn't think he and I would have been broken up this long and part of me partially thinks that this is it. As much as I love Charles and I know he loves me, I hurt him something terrible and the trust between us has diminished into nonexistent. It was never spoken, but I could tell because of the evening of New Years Eve. We had rarely used protection…until then. My heart longed to be with him forever, and he was the only man I could see myself marrying; but I humbly accepted my fate despite how I personally felt about it. I respected his decision to want to end things and explore his options; he at least deserved that much. We had been together for what seems like forever and maybe this was best. I needed time to work on myself and my personal issues while he deserved to not have me hold him back any longer than I already have.
The elevator started to buzz loudly, forcing a sudden closing. I waved at Dr. Lyles before he vanished behind the metal doors, giving him my answer. Entering the lobby, I bundled up my jacket to step outside, being met with the expected chill of winter against my supple skin. I reached for my sapphire necklace clinging around my neck, the one Chuckie had given me last Christmas, smiling. Though this time apart may very well be the beginning to the end of our relationship, whenever he was ready for true love again…he could come and get it.