Okay, the first chapter of the Slowboat to Hades challenge is here.
If you haven't signed up, don't worry. You can still get your name added to the list, no worries. Just go to -bammie-'s or my profile pages and read the rules. We want scads of people signing up for this. Writing ability is NOT a factor.
NOTE: The rules are also listed after the chapter
Is it stereotypical to say that Murdoc Niccals was wearing only a jockstrap and combat boots while sunning lazily in a white lawnchair on the rotten coastline that made up Plastic Beach? If so, is it also stereotypical to say that he was drinking alcohol while performing this particular task? What about if he was scanning his plastic paradise as a tyrant would observe his kingdom, with a profound sense of self-satisfaction? It is? Well, Murdoc Niccals was being very stereotypical one Saturday morning as the dull yellowish-orange sky that seemed to follow the Plastic edifice floated benignly overhead.
Plastic Beach was his kingdom and he was the tyrant. At least that's what he thought that Saturday morning. The events that follow will surely call his rulership into question, but as for now, we will allow him to be content in his certainty.
The sound had begun as a low hum across the ocean somewhere to the southeast of the small island, and, for some time, was so insignificant that it seemed beneath the Satanist's haughty attentions. All too soon, the droning noise became so invasive, however, that Murdoc lazily lifted his eyelids and lazily rolled his eyes in the direction of the sound.
A small silver speck could be seen on the horizon as it swathed a path through the sky. This gave the bassist little cause for alarm as planes were often seen flying overhead, and he returned to the the rather important matter of not paying any attention to anything around him.
Too soon, however, the low buzzing noise of the plane grew too loud for him to concentrate on this task, and he jerked himself out of his chair, spouting obscenities under his breath as he watched the rather large plane draw closer. It was a cargo plane, and obviously it had something for the inhabitants of the island.
"Probably more food," he muttered quizzically to no one in particular (especially since there was no one in particular around to hear him) even though he was quite sure that they had just received their month's worth of rations a few days ago.
His eyes narrowed as the large silver bombay doors of the large silver plane opened and a large brown box was pushed free.
"What the hell is this?" the bassist growled as the box descended and it became increasingly obvious that this was no normal box. It was, for lack of a better word, a crate. A large crate. A very, very large crate.
Swift calculations from Murdoc's brain told him that he better move from his spot on the beach, and, as the massive parachutes that would keep the crate from smashing itself into the ground deployed, he scrambled to grab his Margarita and the various nudie magazines he had been perusing when the mood had struck him. He gave up the lawn chair as lost and scrambled madly for the safety of the lighthouse, which stood nearby.
With a loud woosh and a crunch, the box landed on the beach, causing the entire island to lurch slightly from the sheer massive weight it was now being forced to endure. Murdoc, upon scanning the sky to ensure that no other surprise monstrous boxes were following the initial monstrous box, took a tentative step toward it as though he were a man who had just killed another man and was slinking toward the deceased to ensure that he was, in fact, dead but positively sure he wasn't and was waiting for the other to spring up at any moment and shout, "Aha! You thought I was dead!" or some other such nonsense.
By all appearances, this crate appeared to be like any other crate. That is, except for its massive size. It towered above his head to a height of at least twelve feet and expanded another twelve feet on either side of him. Stamped in large red letters on all sides was the word "fragile," as though it were a comically blown-up version the crate Noodle had arrived in nine years ago. But, unlike Noodle's crate, there were no air holes, so he could at least determine that there wasn't anything living inside of it.
He was walking around the large crate in order to scan it from all sides when he spied a small, white piece of paper taped to one wall. Upon closer inspection, Murdoc determined that the paper was not small at all, but a normal sized piece of paper. It just appeared to be small against the vast expanse of the crate.
He considered the idea of going to get 2D to come and examine the box more closely so that he would get the full force of any surprises that the box may contain, but he knew Noodle would not hear of it and would make him do it instead. So, determining that he would have to be the one to inspect the box anyway, he walked toward the piece of paper and pulled it off of the crate.
Murdoc spluttered as he read the contents of the label aloud:
TO: Noodle Hobbs
48° 52′ 36″ S, 123° 23′ 36″ W
Plastic Beach, ?
FROM: Pottery Barn
704 Prince Street
Weehawken, NJ 07086
Okay, -bammie-. You're up!
Here's the challenge, if you missed it:
Slowboat to Hades: A Gorillaz Challenge
Okay, so -bammie- and I were talking, and we were lamenting on how boring the site has gotten lately. We thought, why not throw something fun in the mix that would at least give those of us involved a good giggle? Here is what we came up with:
The idea is kind of a modified "around" story. You know where someone gives the first line, then the next person fills in the next line, etc.
We won't be writing it line by line, but chapter by chapter.
Here's how it works: I will begin a story by writing a chapter. Then, I will send the chapter to -bammie- with a challenge to write the next chapter. -Bammie- will do so and send off two copies of it: One to me and the other to the next person involved in the challenge who in turn writes the next chapter, and sends it to me and to thenext person. I will publish all the chapters as I receive them, giving credit where it is due to the author of each chapter. That way everyone gets a piece of the action.
We can get as cheesy as we want, because it's for fun, and who cares who likes it? It takes off some of the pressure of writing, but it gets us all involved in the site again.
Here's how it will go down:
If it sounds like fun, pm me or -bammie-. EVERYONE IS INVITED!
Let's leave the review page for actual reviews, please.
Once we have compiled a list of all who are participating, -bammie- and I will post this list on our profiles. Simply choose the person you want to challenge when your turn comes.
REMEMBER TO SEND TWO COPIES OF YOUR CHAPTER: ONE TO THE NEXT CHALLENGEE AND ONE TO ME! IT IS VITAL THAT YOU SEND ONE TO ME!
The chapter must be between 500 and 1000 words in length (that way, there isn't too much pressure on any of us).
If you ask me, I will edit your chapter (please, God, some of you, ask me!). I promise, I will only edit for grammar unless asked.
Wait to write your chapter until you are challenged.
No sendbacks! Don't send your chapter to someone who has already written one. We want everyone to have the same opportunity to participate.
Sorry guys, it's a 2DXNoodle story, and it will be listed as such.
Each chapters' title will be the name of the author, so there will be no question as to who wrote it.
At the bottom of each chapter in the author's note, please write in bold to whom you are sending the next challenge to in order to cut down on confusion.
No lemons, please, but mild fluff is okay. Let's keep it at an even "T" rating.
Let's try to keep the mood light. There's been too much angst on the site lately. (Yea, I know)
Keep up with the story to make sure you are up to date on what's going on.
REMEMBER, changing the direction in which things are going is okay, but ignoring what has happened before to further your idea of what you think should occur is NOT.
Be prepared to wait a couple or a few weeks before your turn comes, but be sure to keep an eye out on the site for new updates, or favorite the story and have FFN keep up with it for you.
And most of all HAVE FUN! This is meant to get the site going again, not to get out your personal issues out in the open