Both the alien crew members looked at their commanding officer lying bunched up on the mat on the cargo bay floor.
"Shepard?" Thane asked.
"Shepard?" Garrus repeated.
She remained lying on the mat, not responding to either Garrus or Thane. Eventually she pulled herself up to standing and looked glassy eyed from one to the other. Their faces revealed nothing more than great concern.
"Ah, I think maybe I've had enough instruction for the day. Thank you, Garrus. Thank you, Thane. Your instruction has been...aahhh... most informative." She pulled on her tunic top, yanking down to straighten it and smoothing it over with the palms of her hands.
They both nodded to her and watched as she moved towards the cargo bay doors. She appeared as though in a drunken stupor, sniffing loudly as she went, the occasional snort escaping.
As the cargo bay doors closed behind her, Garrus and Thane looked at one another.
The edges of Thane's mouth began to curl upwards.
Garrus's mandibles twitched.
Within minutes of Shepard leaving, howls of amusement were coming from the two of them. The intense emanations of Shepard's previous exhibition paled in comparison to the riotous turian and drell laughter now echoing loudly around the cargo bay.
"I knew as soon as you said, 'cunning linguist,' she'd be up to no good. The look on her face said it all," Garrus said.
"I gathered the Commander would be up to something. But it wasn't till she mentioned the man in the boat I was certain of it! I may have been celibate for many years, but I am not unaware of the human female anatomy." He smiled at this.
"And when she mentioned the five-fingered widow I almost said, 'Don't your mean the three talon widow?' I was turian military, did she not realise we would have a similar euphemism?"
"If it wasn't for Joker giving us the heads up on her penchant for old French sayings I would never have known what repos de guerrier meant. How many more euphemisms and innuendo did she let out? When she said she felt comfortable blowing on her knees - I'm known for my deadpan demeanour, but I almost slipped several times!"
"I'm not sure how many. I got the 'getting my leg over' and a few others...but Thane, Thane," Garrus snorted, his laughter returning "I almost lost it when you put your hand on her breast...I mean if I didn't have that rifle in my hand to draw my attention away... I... I would have lost it for sure!"
"If she had thought it was anything other than an innocent mistake, I'm sure I would have been lying on the mat with a boot on my neck," he conceded.
Garrus nodded in agreement. "I think it might be dangerous if she knew anything about what went on here. Don't you think?"
Thane moved to shake Garrus' hand and replied, "Yes, very dangerous. Then my friend, let us shake, it is agreed, she shall remain...,"
They spoke in unison, "Clueless."