Author's Note: This was a one shot that was done for the One Life to Life for Eternity Anonymous Contest, but it was cancelled so now I'm posting it on here. I used to watch soap operas a lot and wanted to give a shot at my first all human, drama-filled one-shot. It's in all different POVs to get the story told. This was probably the funnest thing I have ever written and my favorite out of what I've written. The comments I've gotten on it so far from friends and beta's help me feel that way too. So, I can't wait to here what you think of it!
My life was pretty decent overall. I was twenty-one years old and engaged to Edward Cullen. We had gone to high school together, but with all the normal high school drama, we didn't really get to know each other until graduation. After that, it just seemed easy and we fell in love quickly. He had a side to him not many others got to see. When it was just us, he was sweet, caring, understanding, and loving. But when we were with our friends, he was anything but that. He was ruder, insulting, and made jokes behind people's backs. He didn't care what people thought of him, but when it was just us, it was almost like he let that wall down and let me see who he truly was. It seemed that it was starting to fade though.
It was two weeks before our wedding when all hell had broken loose. Two weeks for every secret and every lie to come out in the open, and all at the worst possible time.
March 28, 2009 - Bella
Edward and I had been together for three years, engaged for one of them. It started out wonderful, but like any relationship, we had our problems. We moved past them though, and we grew stronger because of it. At least I thought we had. It seemed the closer it got to the wedding, the further Edward slipped back into his old ways.
During our first year, Edward had cheated on me a few times; It caused a lot of trust issues. But after a break and a lot of talking, we got through it. I didn't want to know who he had cheated on me with, I just wanted to know that he would never do it again and as much as I told him I trusted him, I had my suspicions. I wasn't blind, or stupid. Well, I wasn't blind, stupid maybe. I think a part of me was sure once we were married, everything would be fine.
It was two weeks before our wedding and the stress was beginning to drive me crazy. I had to handle everything. Edward just wanted to get it over with and didn't care if we went to Vegas to elope. I didn't really care either and sometimes thought that that would be best, but everything was about appearances.
Jacob, who had been my best friend since elementary school, was always by my side if I needed him. Which was actually a lot. His girlfriend, Tanya, didn't care for that too much, but I didn't really care for her enough to care. She was Edward's ex from high school and she always blamed me that she wasn't the one that he would marry. But she swears all around that she is completely in love with Jacob now and couldn't care less what happened with Edward and me. I didn't believe that for a second.
Jacob had been with Tanya off and on for two years and was the father of her only daughter. The little girl looked just like Tanya, sometimes I really couldn't be sure she was Jake's. I never told him that though, she was his world. Sometimes it seemed that maybe he thought the same thing, but he was there since the day she was born and he raised her, so I don't think it really mattered who the biological father was. Jacob was a great dad.
It was the night that marked two weeks until the wedding when I made a horrible decision. Jake was upset with Tanya, and I was completely stressed and angry with Edward because he took a one-week trip with friends from work to get away from wedding stuff. I was stressed out and he wasn't answering his phone. Of course with my suspicions, I had a horrible feeling that I knew exactly what he was doing while he was there and the wedding plans took a back seat to the stress with that.
Jake had popped up at my apartment to talk about his problems with Tanya. I was always happy, and unhappy, to let him vent it out to me. He walked inside without knocking as he always did and started yelling about how she threatened to leave him again until he found me in my room sitting on the edge of my bed crying.
"Bells, honey, what's the matter?" he asked with his soothing voice that always had a way of calming me. It would be a lie if I ever said that I had no feelings for him, but the feelings just didn't seem to be enough for me to give myself to him the way I would do with Edward.
"Oh, you know. The usual," I mumbled, waving a hand as I tried to laugh. He was starting to find me that way more often that I would care to admit.
"This isn't normal, Bella. You shouldn't be this upset so close to your wedding. Are you sure you're making the right decision?" He knelt down in front of me and used each of his thumbs to wipe the tears away.
"I love him, Jake. I accept his flaws. But-"
"But what? If he is out there having a cheating fest two weeks before your wedding, I will kill him. I can promise you that."
"Jake," I whined, not wanting to think of it anymore. He made it sound so much worse than what was already going through my head.
He sat up and moved to sit next to me, twisting my body to face him in the process. He pulled me into a hug and his large form almost completely covered me. He was always so very warm and soft, despite all his muscle.
"You deserve so much better than what you are getting from him, Bells," he whispered as he bent his head down and kissed the top of my head and I leaned into him farther, fresh tears spilling down my cheeks. I wanted to believe him, but I didn't feel the same.
"I'm not so sure. I just don't know anymore, Jake. I want to believe he… I just want to be able to believe him."
Jake pulled my face up to look at him and for a moment, I was lost in his deep, dark brown eyes.
"In three years you haven't been able to do that. What makes you think marrying him will change that?" One thing I loved most about Jake was his blunt honesty. Though at that moment, it only echoed my own fears and I hated to hear the words out loud.
I tried to look away as I started to cry more, but he held my face firmly in place. I couldn't look away. I glanced from his eyes, to his cheeks, then down to his full lips and anything from that point on was almost out of my control.
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his softly. The warmth of his lips against mine sent shivers down my spine as I rose up to my knees to get closer. He put both of his hands on either side of my face and I feared for a moment that he would pull away, but he only held me there. The kiss went from soft and slow to fast and hard as my wanting for him to touch me grew stronger. I pushed him backward onto the bed so that he was lying down and climbed over him, deepening the kiss.
As his tongue moved around with mine, fire shot through my veins and I moved on top of him, legs on each side, moving my mouth away from his only to catch a little air as I trailed kisses down his jaw. I felt his hands move down my arms and up my side, slowly pulling my shirt up with him. For a split second, I realized it was wrong, but I pushed it aside quickly. I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was getting closer to him, feeling him in ways I had only rarely thought about. I wanted him in that moment more than I had wanted anything. As clothes were removed, positions were flipped and I felt him sliding in, I knew. I had him and I wasn't sure if I could let him go.
March 28, 2009 – Alice
To say I didn't like Bella Swan was putting it lightly. I hated the girl. But she was marrying my cousin; I had promised Edward I would help her with wedding plans since that was my specialty. I had no idea what exactly he was up to for the week he was away, but I didn't care. We all knew he screwed around on Bella and we all knew she was dumb enough to ignore it. To still marry him after everything was ridiculous though. But, if she wanted that for a future, that was her decision, not mine.
One of the many reasons I didn't like Bella was because she was marrying my cousin. That right there just proved that she was desperate to be married that she didn't care what she had to put up with. Part of me was glad, though another part of me feared it wouldn't work out for them. She had dated my now boyfriend, Jasper. They remained really close after their break-up, which led her to Edward after graduation and I worried that they would want to get back together if the marriage didn't work out. She had dated my current boyfriend, Jasper, which was the other reason for disliking her.
So I was on my way to her apartment to go over wedding plans. I was doing it for both Edward and Jasper. Jasper would always tell me how great she was if I would only give her a chance, because then I'd see it. Either way, I would rather me going there to help her than Jasper going there. It was bad enough Jacob was always with her. That was causing problems with his and Tanya's relationship. Not that they didn't have other problems to begin with. The whole baby drama thing was hilarious if you asked me. I couldn't wait to get out of this stupid town and away from all the idiots. Hopefully after the wedding, Jasper will agree to it.
I just pulled up into the parking lot of Bella's rundown apartment complex. I noticed Jacob's truck parked a few cars over, so I knew he was already there. Lovely, I thought. He wasn't so bad, but them together was just weird. Best friends since elementary school and nothing ever happened between them. I didn't buy it, but everyone else seemed to.
As I walked up though the hallway and slowly reached her door, I heard noises coming from inside. They weren't just any noises, though. Just as I was thinking about knocking, I heard a loud and very distinct Jacob being moaned out by Bella. All thoughts of knocking were pushed aside. Since the idiots were nice enough to leave the door unlocked, I helped myself in and even though I knew it, I was shocked by what I saw.
I snuck back out before I was seen or heard and ran back to my car. As I sat in the seat, the visions of naked Bella and Jacob flashing through my mind, I couldn't help but laugh.
"They are so busted!" I said to myself as I started my car and pulled out of the driveway.
After I was home, I couldn't help but think of the situation. I knew that even though Edward cheated, he wouldn't allow Bella to cheat. If he knew what happened, he would surely call off the wedding. I wondered what that could lead to, but I also knew that if it ended, she could end up with Jacob, not Jasper. But I knew I couldn't risk it. Who knew how long what I had walked into had been going on, but I still knew that she and Jasper were still too close for my liking.
I had some things to think about and I had to make it work to my advantage somehow.
March 29, 2009 – Bella
When I woke up, the weight of that happened the night before hit my like a tidal wave. I could still feel Jacob next to me, heating radiated off him like a damn space heater. I could tell by his snores that he was still asleep, so I slowly got out of bed with the sheet held up to me and ran quietly over to my dresser to grab some clothes and went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed.
Once I was done, I went into the kitchen and made some coffee. Just after I sat down at the kitchen table with my cup, Jake came walking in, fully dressed, and plopped down in the chair across from me.
"Coffee?" I asked him as I stood up.
"Yes, please, but I can get it." His voice was deep and the emotion in it was something I recognized. It wasn't quite regret, but close enough. I couldn't regret what happened with Jake, but I knew it was wrong.
Once he came over and sat down again, he opened his mouth several times, but nothing ever came out. We sat in silence for about twenty minutes before I had had enough.
"This can't change anything and no one can know about it," I told him. I really hoped he wouldn't be offended.
"I agree," he mumbled.
I nodded my head and went back to sipping my coffee. After about thirty more minutes of silence, he said that he had to get to work and kissed the top of my head like he always did before walking out the door, taking a little bit of my sanity with him.
After I finished my coffee, I decided to clean the house. The first thing I went to was my bed. I ripped all the bed sheets and pillowcases off and went straight to do laundry. While I waited for them to finish, I vacuumed the entire house, I scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and all the dishes and once I remade my bed, I was exhausted. Two and a half hours passed with all the work I had done and my mind wasn't any clearer.
Though I knew that I said we couldn't tell anyone, there was one person I trusted with everything besides Jake. Jasper. I jumped up off my couch, grabbed my keys and purse and headed over to his house, hoping Alice wasn't there.
After a minute or two, I remembered Alice was supposed to come over the night before for wedding planning, but she never showed up. At least I only hoped she hadn't, but I pushed that thought away. There was no way she would just show up and witness it all without interrupting.
March 29, 2009 – Jasper
The past few years for me have been extremely complicated. I first started questioning myself when I was with Bella and she knew. She guessed the reason and was okay with it. We remained close after that because we still had that connection, though it wasn't because of attraction, it was because she was amazing. I kept trying to tell Alice that, but she is dead set on hating her. Though I'm unsure why, I think it might be a mixture of jealousy. With Alice, it was hard to say.
Alice and I have been together for a few months. Well, off and on for a year, but steady for about three months. I wasn't sure why I stayed with her, except for the fact that I was afraid to hurt her. When I agreed to first go out with her, it was just another test. I had to be sure it just wasn't Bella that I was attracted too, not females in general, but I grew to know Alice and she fell in love with me. I love the girl, just not in that way. Over time, I've become very sure that girls just weren't for me. It was when I met Edward's older brother Emmett about two months ago that confirmed it for me. Not that anything with him could ever happen anyways, he was in a steady relationship with Rosalie, one of Edward's many exes.
So, since my questioning first started back in high school, Bella was still the only one to know that I was gay. I hid it well I guess, though some days I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I was just afraid who it might hurt. I should have never started dating Alice and I should have told everyone as soon as my relationship with Bella ended. But, since I brought this on myself and made it complicated, I had to deal with it and find a way out. I couldn't believe I was convincing enough to keep Alice thinking nothing was off about our relationship.
I was just in the middle of my thoughts on the situation and wondering why Alice hadn't called me yet since it was in the middle of the afternoon, when Bella came plowing through my front door. I smiled and was just about to say hello when I saw the look on her face. Great, now what did Edward do, I thought. He was one of my close friends, but I hated what he was doing to her. I have told him that several times, but he always just shrugs and keeps on going. He told me that once he is married, he would stop. He just wanted to have fun before he tied the knot, but I didn't believe him. No one did. Not even Bella who put up with his stupid ass.
"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked as I stood up. She ran straight into my arms.
"I didn't something horrible last night, Jas," she mumbled into my chest. Huh, well that's a first, I thought. No, Bella wasn't perfect, but she never did anything so wrong that caused her to freak out that badly. And it had to be bad for her to come running to me about it. Jacob was usually the one she went to most, not that I minded. We had an odd relationship I guess. That was probably why Alice hated me being alone with her. If only she knew, which I wish she did.
"Shh, honey. It can't be that bad really. What happened?" I smoothed the back of her hair as I tried to get her to sit down on the couch with me and she started crying.
"S-something v-very b-b-bad." She sat up and wiped her eyes and nose on the sleeve of her sweater. Better her sweater than mine, I thought. "I cheated on Edward last night," she blurted out, starting round two of the waterworks.
Honestly, I was stunned, but I knew it would happen sooner or later. Not that I thought Bella was a slut or anything, cause she wasn't, but because of what Edward had been doing to her and the fact that she just ignored it for three fucking years. I knew it would happen eventually in revenge, or a reaction to something he did, for whatever reason. I just nodded my head and pulled her to my side and rubbed her arm.
"I'm sorry, but you shouldn't feel so bad for it," I told her.
"W-what? Why? I should. I love him, why would I cheat on him? I can't believe I did it. You don't cheat one someone you love-" She froze for a moment at her own words and maybe for the first time she really thought about Edward's cheating on her. It didn't take her long to continue though. "I love him, I know I do, so I know he loves me. But Jacob, why Jacob? Anyone else, but why my best friend? Nothing is going to be the same anymore. No matter how hard we try to."
She wasn't making any sense. Jacob?
"Whoa, whoa. Slow down there darlin'. Jacob? You had sex with Jacob?" I asked, not able to believe it.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Jake came over last night complaining about Tanya and I was crying and… Oh shit. I promised I wouldn't say who." She started crying harder.
"Shh. You know I won't say anything. I'll forget his name was even mentioned. I won't even admit to knowing anything happened. You know that." I wanted so badly to calm her down, but I was at a loss.
"I know I can trust you, It's just… It's just that I betrayed so much trust that was kept in me. How the hell does Edward do this and not feel horrible about it?"
I laughed, I couldn't help it. "Darlin' I have no fucking clue how he does it. Not telling Alice that I'm gay is hard enough and I've never cheated. But cheating so often, now… That boy has no conscience." As I said the words, I regretted them instantly. She knew he cheated often, but having it confirmed out loud was another thing. Her body tensed, but she didn't cry anymore. "Maybe now you can see it as you're even now? I don't know, but don't let it get to you so badly. You didn't do it intentionally."
"Okay, forget Edward for a minute. What about Tanya?" She asked, looking at me like I held all the damn answers. As always, I wish I did.
"I don't know. I suppose that's for Jake to figure out." I knew Bella wouldn't just leave it at that. She worried about everyone else more than her own problems. Proof of that was worrying about how Edward would react about her cheating, forgetting he has cheated on her with half of Seattle probably. I sighed and pulled her into a hug. "Just take it one step at a time. Other than that, I have no idea what to tell you. You could tell Edward if you want, but honestly, I don't think you should. I think you and Jacob should just keep this to yourselves. If I am the only one other than you two who knows, then that is where it ends. I will forget it even happened."
"Thanks, Jas. Sometimes I have no idea what I would do without you." She sat up and kissed my cheek, but her dull smile faded as quickly as it appeared. "I have another problem though."
"What is it?"
"I think I have feelings for Jacob. I mean, I knew they have always been there, hidden in the back, but never enough to act on. But now… now I'm not so sure."
"Oh, well… I… I think you should just take some time to think on that one. See how last night's situation goes first."
"But what about the wedding?"
"Do you still want to marry Edward, even after everything?"
I shook my head. "Then that is up to you to decide."
After Bella left, I had even more to think about. I never could understand exactly how that girl's brain worked. Cheating and still marry him, but I thought she was more afraid of not marrying him and being alone again more than anything. I knew when she and Edward were together that they did have something special. He was just too much of an asshole to see it. I had no idea how they would make it work though.
An hour after Bella had left, Alice came over and I was back to my problems again. Problems I knew I couldn't face at that moment, so we did what we always did. Curled up on the couch and watched movies like everything was normal. But something was different about her, she knew something and I hoped to God it had nothing to do with Bella. I suddenly remembered she said something about helping Bella last night, but I pushed the thought aside. She couldn't know.
March 30, 2009 – Bella
The last twenty-four hours had been too quiet for my liking. The silence allowed my thoughts to go crazy. After my conversation with Jasper, I decided the best thing to do would be to ignore it. Pretend I never cheated and Jacob was still just my best friend. I hoped he still felt the same on that part.
When I got home from Jasper's, I shut off my cell phone and shut the lights off in my house and pretended that I wasn't home. I stayed in bed, watching whatever crappy shows I found on TV and fell asleep early. I woke up the next morning around eight am and turned my phone back on. I had two missed calls from Edward, so I called him back before I even left my bed. He answered on the second right for once.
"Hello, Beautiful," he said when he answered.
"Hey, sorry I didn't get your calls last night. I wasn't feeling good so I shut my phone off and went to sleep." I was a horrible liar, but at least that wasn't far from the truth. I felt terrible.
"Oh baby. I'm sorry you don't feel good. I wish I could come home, but Garrett and James are keeping me pretty busy. Four more days, baby. I'll be home before you know it."
"It's fine, I know you're busy. Don't have too much fun," I told him, wanting to puke at my choice of words.
"Of course not," he laughed. "See you soon. I love you and I can't wait to marry you."
"I love you too," I told him and hung up.
I slammed my head back down into my pillow with a groan. It was going to be a terrible four days and probably even more terrible days after that. I wasn't sure I could face him.
After I got up, I showered and dressed and decided to go down to the bakery a few blocks away for some breakfast. As soon as I ordered my coffee and doughnuts, I turned around to go sit down, and saw Alice as she walked through the door. I inwardly groaned. Conversations with Alice never went well. No matter what they were about.
"Bella!" she called excitedly. Nope, nothing good, I thought.
"Alice, hey! Good to see you," I lied, putting on the brightest fake smile I could use.
"So sorry I missed you last night, I got caught up with Jasper and completely forgot," she said as she walked over to me and lightly kissed my cheek. It was strange that she would lie about that, though I couldn't be sure, but I was almost positive she wasn't with Jasper the night before.
"Oh that's fine. Something came up anyway," I lied again, hoping it didn't show.
"Oh good." She smiled, but something about it wasn't right. She knew something. I swallowed hard, hoping it wasn't what I was thinking. But how could she know?
"Do you mind if I join you for a few?" she asked as she walked up to the counter to order.
"Uh, no. Sure." I walked over to my normal table and sat down. I really hoped it would only be a few.
Once she received her coffee, she came over and sat down by me. Her smiled never fading and only proving she knew something. She knew that I knew something was up; she leaned in close to me.
"So, Bella. What exactly came up last night?" She laughed and I knew for a fact that she knew. How?
"N-nothing really," I told her, hoping it was convincing, which it wasn't.
"Right. You moaning out Jacob's name is nothing? So it happens that often?" she whispered accusingly.
"W-what? No. I-I have no idea what you're talking about." Fuck. You are an idiot, Bella! I told myself.
"Uh huh, right. I don't believe that for one damn second. I know what I heard. I know what I saw."
"What?" That sure as hell got my attention. My head jerked up to her face and I almost knocked my coffee over.
"Oh, you know. With all your moaning and panting, you never even heard me open the door. You two naked, him between your legs… It was not something I really wanted stuck in my mind." I choked on the coffee that was still in my mouth. "That's right sweet little, Bella. I know. And do you really think my dear cousin, Edward, would like to hear of that? No matter what he does, it doesn't make it okay for you too."
My whole body stiffened. She saw it, she saw everything. I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do.
"What do you want, Alice? I know you are particularly fond of blackmail." Anytime she could get something out of others, she took that chance. I happened to know she was practically the Gossip Queen in Seattle. She somehow managed to know everything that happened to everyone.
"Oh, am I that predictable?" she asked with a laugh. "Well, I happen to have a certain piece of information that I know would just kill Jacob if he knew."
"What? Why would I want to know that? What good would that do?" I asked, confused and curious what type of game she was playing.
"Well, if I tell you this information and you tell Jacob, I will tell your little secret. I just know this will eat at you even more than the fact that you fucked your best friend two weeks before your wedding. But I also know this will have a huge effect on you as well." I glared at her and she laughed again. "Don't you find it interesting that since Tanya is Edward's ex, she also managed to get pregnant right around the time Edward admitted cheating on you two years ago? I can't believe you didn't connect the two! Instead of figuring out that that meant she cheated on Jacob too, you just assumed it was someone else. You also ignored the fact that Tanya got pregnant while it happened to be a certain time her and Jake were fighting the most."
I just sat there staring at her, unable to form words.
"That's right Bella, dear. Elizabeth is Edward's daughter, not Jacob's."
I knew it. Something in me always told me she wasn't Jacob's. But to be Edward's daughter? That was unthinkable. I suddenly couldn't breathe.
"Why are you telling me this? Edward's your family?" I choked out, still confused.
"Family Shmamily," she waved her hand. "I told you. You can't tell this to anyone that without hurting everyone. No one knows besides Tanya and me. Well and her mother, which is how I found out. I overheard a conversation she had on the phone with her last year. Plus, that's not the only thing I want. I want you to stay away from Jasper. If you don't, I'll tell everyone you had sex with Jacob and I'll tell Jacob you knew Elizabeth wasn't his the entire time. Edward will be so mad about both of those, he'll call off the wedding and Jasper will finally see you aren't worthy of his friendship. You'll lose your fiancé and your best friends." She smiled darkly. I just closed my eyes and shook my head.
"Fine," I whispered. I didn't really want to play her games, but I didn't want any more problems either.
"Alright, so now that that is settled, I have a date with Jasper to prepare for. See you soon!" she yelled happily as she skipped out the door.
March 30, 2009 – Jasper
After my dinner with Alice, our normal Monday night date, I was in my car driving around town thinking about how unusually happy she was. I had been trying to call Bella all day, but she was rejecting my calls. I after circling the blocks around her apartment, I finally gave in and went up to see her. I knocked for fifteen minutes, but no answer. I saw her old beat up truck parked, but she could have been out with someone else. I finally gave up after calling her two more times and went back down to leave.
As I approached my car, I saw Jacob pull in. I was kind of hoping she would get out with him, hoping they worked things out, but when he parked and got out, I saw that he was alone and I let out a sigh of disappointment.
"Hey, Jacob," I called out to him as he started for the stairs to Bella's.
"Uh, hey, Jasper. What's up?" he asked, not looking me in the eye. Something in me told me he either knew that I knew, or he just felt that guilty.
"Nothing, just trying to get a hold of Bella. I'm kind of worried. She's ignoring my calls and she's not home."
"Oh. She's not home? I just talked to her earlier and she said she wasn't feeling good. Maybe she went out to eat." He glanced behind him and saw her truck off to the side of the lot. "Maybe not. Alice maybe?"
"No, I just left Alice. Maybe, if she's sick, she took something and fell asleep."
"Yeah, maybe. Well I'm gonna head out then. See ya," he said before walking away.
I turned and got into my car. Something didn't feel right. If Jake had talked to her and she wasn't feeling good, I couldn't hold that against her, but why ignore me? I turned the ignition and headed home. I called her one last time before going to bed, not surprised that she didn't answer.
March 30, 2009 – Jacob
Things had been weird for the past few days. Tanya and I were fighting more, no surprise though. I'd had about enough of her shit. The only reason I put up with her was because of Lizzy. The night with Bella though, that was amazing. Growing up with her, I had always hoped she would give into the feelings I knew she had for me. Mine were always so strong for her, but I learned to let them go, knowing she didn't feel enough for me. But that night… It was the best and worst for me. Best because it was Bella and it was everything I had hoped it would be. Then it was the worst because I cheated on Tanya, something I had never done with anyone. It was also bad because Bella cheated on Edward, not that I cared. He deserved it.
Bella was my best friend and things seemed to be slipping with us since then. Sure, it had only been two full days since it happened, but she was avoiding Jasper, her other best friend, and didn't seem to want to talk to me. Something told me that she told Jasper what happened, no surprise there, but to avoid him afterwards… Maybe he didn't react well. But he seemed to be okay and generally worried about her which made me worry.
After talking to Jasper, I went straight home to deal with the wrath of Tanya. I felt terribly guilty. She had been faithful to me, no matter how much we fought, but because of that night, I couldn't say the same. I couldn't regret it though and that made me feel worse. When I walked through the door, Lizzy came running up to me. I held her in my arms, thankful for her every day.
Tanya and I decided not to get married just because of our daughter. We weren't ready for marriage. Sometimes though, when I held Lizzy, I couldn't help but notice something in Tanya's eyes, something like guilt. I never knew what could explain it, but I never thought on it too much. I decided that no matter what it was, I didn't want to know.
It was a little weird at times knowing that Tanya was one of Edward's exes. It was kind of funny too, because two of his least favorite exes were stuck in his life no matter how badly he wanted to get rid of them. He least favorite ex, Rosalie, was dating his older brother. Tanya and Rose used to be friends until Edward left Rose for Tanya.
Our little group of friends and acquaintances was a mixed love circle. I thought it was funny because the only one I had ever dated was Tanya, who I met through Bella at one of her little party things. She and Tanya never were friends, so of course Bella wasn't happy about us getting together, but she accepted it when she saw that Tanya made me happy. I tried to keep them apart any chance I could. Tanya claimed she wasn't mad at her anymore since she has me, but I knew she still blamed Bella for Edward leaving her. Though we all knew Edward liked to bounce around. He just happened to really click with Bella. I thought him cheating on her just proved that he was scared of commitment, so did Bella. That didn't make it right though.
Once I set Lizzy down and kissed Tanya hello, I went into my bedroom to take a shower. I tried to get a hold of Bella, but it went straight to voicemail. She must have had her phone off again.
Right when I got out of the shower, my phone rang and it was Emmett, Edward's brother. I was hesitant to answer him, since he usually called when he needed a drinking buddy. He always seemed to know exactly when I needed one too.
"Hey, Emmett. What's up?"
"Not much. Wanna go out for drinks in a while? I'm in a serious need for some alcohol."
I laughed. "Um, alright sure. What is it this time?"
"Rose. Something is up with her. Different from the usual and after a shitty day at work, I can't handle it."
"Okay. Let me get ready and I'll meet you there. Usual place?"
"Yep. See ya there."
Rosalie and Emmett have been having lots of problems. I never really knew what about, never really asked. Guys just didn't talk about shit like that unless it was serious. Once I was fully dressed, I went back into the living room and told Tanya that I was going to go out for a while.
"Can't you ever just stay home? If it isn't Bella, it's someone else. Damn. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were out screwing around. But you know better than that."
Her words sliced through me like a knife. Sure, I knew better… but even then that wasn't enough.
"Emmett is having problems with Rose," I told her. That seemed to be enough for her to drop it for now. She never could understand how Emmett could stay with her. Sometimes I wondered the same for Tanya and me.
I kissed her cheek and hugged Lizzy and was out the door.
March 30, 2009 – Emmett
As soon as I thought things are getting better with Rose, she fucking flipped out on me again. She is starting to get worse.
"She fucking hit me, dude," I told Jasper as we sat at the bar.
"Really? She's getting that bad huh?" he asked.
Talking to Jasper was easy. It was strange though. He always looked at me with something more in his eyes than I get from my normal friends. I couldn't quite explain it though. Sometimes when his eyes met mine, I'd get the chills. It makes me sound all chick-like, but seriously. It was strange.
"Oh yea, I feel like I'm dealing with one of my patients, only I can't sedate her."
"Sounds pretty bad, man. Maybe you should have her committed," Jacob said with a laugh as he appeared to my side, opposite of Jasper.
"Not even joking. Sometimes I wish I could." I stopped for a moment, thinking. "Seriously though. Something's changed with her. I'm starting to worry about her. She's becoming very secretive and paranoid if I touch something of hers. I moved her fucking purse off the counter last night and she screamed at me."
"Drugs maybe?" Jasper asked. I could tell he was serious.
"I don't know. Maybe. It sort of fits some of the addicts that get brought in at work, but that's just crazy though. She's always said how she hates how drugs change people," I told him.
"Well, even though people hate them, doesn't mean they won't do them," Jacob mentioned and he was right, but I was done with the conversation.
"So how's things with you and Tanya? Perfect as ever?" As I asked, Jasper stiffened and Jake just shook his head. I looked between the two and suddenly sensed I was missing something. "What's going on?"
"Yeah, things are okay as ever I suppose," Jake said, but I could tell he wasn't telling me something. I let it go though and turned to Jasper. "What's up with you?"
I was about to push more, but my phone started buzzing. I looked at it and sighed. Edward.
"Hey bro, how's it going?"
"Alright, I'm home early."
"Really? Like, just now?"
"Yeah, where you at?"
"The Hide Out," I told him. I wasn't quite sure I wanted him there though.
"Awesome. Not too far from there. See you in a bit."
I flipped my phone closed and sat in silence for a moment, both Jasper and Jacob stiffened.
"I don't know what is going on with you two, but you better get your shit together before he gets here. No fucking drama tonight please," I told them both without even looking at them and I could tell they both nodded and then ordered more drinks.
It took only ten minutes for Edward to arrive.
"Hey, hey guys, what's up?" Edward shouted to us once he arrived.
"Not much, just getting away from the girls tonight, you know." I laughed and he high fived me.
"Yeah, something's crawled up Bella's ass lately. I'm in no hurry to get to her house either."
Jake's head dropped and the look on his face was pure guilt. He recovered quickly, so Edward never saw it, but I did. Suddenly my suspicions started getting the better of me. I noticed too that Jasper had a similar reaction, but his was more worried. What the fuck is going on here, I thought.
"Alright, so order me a couple beers. I gotta run to the bathroom for a minute."
Once he disappeared, I looked at both the guys again, speechless. Jasper just stared back at me and I got that feeling I usually get with him again. He reached out and patted my back as he shook his head. A way of telling me I didn't want to know. The touch of his hand felt weird, a good weird. I would have blamed it on the alcohol, but I hadn't had that much to drink and it wasn't the first time I felt it.
March 30, 2009 – Jasper
A night out with the guys was usually fun, but this night wasn't. Jacob couldn't hide his guilt every time the issue of Bella or Tanya came up and that triggered something in me because I felt bad for the two of them. Emmett was confused and he had his own problems with Rose to deal with. I just wanted to reach out and hug him. He, along with Bella, deserved so much better than what they were being given. I couldn't really help Bella, but I wished so badly that I could comfort Emmett the way I wanted to. I knew it would never happen though. Even if the looks he sometimes gave me made me feel otherwise.
Edward showing up early was not good. I was hoping Bella would have had more time to deal with her problems, but it didn't look that way. It didn't help that he was already catching on to something being wrong with Bella. But the asshole that he what was thought she was just being dramatic.
March 30, 2009 – Edward
Garrett and James were driving me crazy with their stupidity. We were supposed to be out having fun, celebrating my soon-to-be marriage, but all they did was get wasted fuck some girls and pass out. I found me a couple of sweet girls too, but damn, live a little. One girl, man… If I wasn't getting married, I would have stayed a little longer just to hit it couple more times, but I didn't and something in me told me I needed to get back to Seattle. Portland was fun and all, but I was done with it.
Of course I felt a little guilty for cheating on Bella, but she apparently didn't mind too much otherwise she would have called off the wedding a long time ago. Hell, she wouldn't even have agreed to my proposal. I loved her, I really did, but I was starting wonder why in the hell I proposed to begin with. Sure, I could be with her for the rest of my life, she really was awesome, but the commitment was an issue for me. Obviously. I made a promise to myself though, once we said the words 'I do' I would never touch another girl, I owed her that much. Maybe it was wrong, which I knew it was, but if she cheated on me, it would be over with us. Yes, I was a hypocritical bastard and I was satisfied with it. But that is what I loved about Bella, she never would do anything like that.
Heading over to the bar to meet the guys sounded like fun, but once I got their and saw their moods, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. Dealing with whatever drama Bella was dealing with would have been better. At least I could fuck her to get her to shut up. But these guys man, they looked bad. I knew Rose was a bitch, so Emmett had a reason to be down and pissed off. Jacob had to deal with Tanya and her baby drama. She always threw the, 'Well you knocked me up' shit in his face every time he got pissed with her. And like the good dad that he was, he stayed because of Lizzy, so I got that much. I understood. Hell, I dated both girls. Crazy fucking pack of friends I had. Jasper though, I was sure things were good with Alice, though I knew she was a fucking Drama Queen too. She loved to stir up trouble, she had always been that way. So I was curious what she was up to now and if that was the cause of Jasper's issues. I wouldn't ask though. I didn't care that much.
Still though, I was home and things needed to get less serious and soon. Once I was done in the bathroom, I headed out to liven up the rest of the night. A few drinks later, we were all laughing at our stupid issues and making jokes about the future.
March 31, 2009 – Bella
The next day during my classes, I couldn't stop thinking about the guilt. I felt horrible for avoiding Jake, but I needed time to think and I told him as much. He seemed to understand. What I felt guilty about the most now was Jasper. He did nothing wrong, he did nothing but help me and I rejected his calls, and deleted his texts without reading them. I didn't answer the door the two different times he came over. I even listened to him beg at my door for me to explain to him what was wrong. I just cried and waited for him to leave. I really hated Alice more than I ever thought I could.
After my classes were over, I was walking out into the parking lot. Right when I reached my car, I was suddenly not alone anymore.
"Hello, Bella," Rosalie said in a strange voice. I looked up and she looked horrible.
"Rose, are you okay?"
"Perfect," she answered. "So Edward is home I hear." I was shocked. He didn't even call me to let me know.
"Really? I didn't know."
"Yep. Got home last night. Went out and got drunk with Emmett, Jake and Jasper. I bet they all had fun."
I suddenly felt like I was going to puke. All of them together… Two of them knowing what I did wrong. With alcohol involved… I really hoped no one said anything.
"What's wrong, Bella? You look a little sick." Rosalie, much like Alice, has never really liked me. I had issues with girls apparently.
"Ah, no no, I'm fine. "
She moved closer, swaying a little as she walked. "You know what I think is funny, I have a feeling something big is going on. I saw you and Alice at the coffee shop. You look now, much like you did then. Pale and looking like you want to throw up. I couldn't help but over hear something as I was coming out of the ladies room. Elizabeth isn't Jacob's? Crazy. Though, like Alice said, it should have been obvious. The girl looks just like Edward."
I closed my eyes and turned my head away. This can't be happening.
"Unlike Alice though, I won't blackmail. I just like to watch people squirm. More than that though, I like to watch people suffer. Telling Edward that he has a child with Tanya and that you knew! That would be wonderful. Better yet, Jacob knowing that you knew all along. Ha! That is even better. Watch your back, Bella." She turned and walked away, laughing as she disappeared through the other cars.
Once I got home, which I barely did after almost wrecking my car three times, I threw up. Twice. Then Edward showed up, making it all worse.
"Hey, Baby," he called as he walked through the door. I swear, no one knocks anymore, myself included.
"Hey," I said, rinsing my mouth out in the sink and brushing my teeth. He came to stand in the doorway. Once I was finished, I walked over to stand in front of him. The feeling of throwing up returned. "I missed you," I told him as I hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and it all felt worse, but the scent of him made me feel better in way. Just like it always did.
"I missed you too. Sorry I didn't tell you, but I got home last night. Met up with the guys at The Hide Out, for some drinks. Just got the feeling I needed to be home, but now I can clearly see why. You really are sick aren't you?"
I guess throwing up was kind of a lucky thing on my part. It added to the whole sick thing. "Oh, uh, yeah. Feeling a little better though."
"Good I'm glad to hear that." He kissed my forehead and pulled me in to the living room. He brought me dinner and we stayed in watching two movies he brought with him. In that short amount of time, I forgot that anyone else in the world even existed. It was just him and me.
It stayed that way for a while, wedding planning alone, school and late nights with Edward. It all felt so fake though.
April 6, 2009 – Jasper
I had had about enough with Bella ignoring me. Jacob was ignoring everyone too. I'm surprised it had stayed a secret for this long. But a fucking week. It was getting ridiculous. It may be weird, but I stalked that girl until I finally found her coming home from school. It was unfortunate that I was working during her school hours. Otherwise I would have waited there.
She pulled up in her driveway, got out of her car and froze when she saw me. To make things fucking worse, her eyes darted to the stairs and back then she ran. I ran after her, calling her name. She finally couldn't fight me off anymore when I shoved myself through her door before she could close it.
"What the fuck is going on?" I yelled.
"Nothing, Jasper. You have to go," she told me.
"Why? Why are you ignoring me?"
"I want to talk to you so bad, but I can't."
"Why, damn it?"
"Alice," she whispered. Fuck. I should have known.
"She knows and I know more than I want to know and if I see you, it will all come out."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Talk to me please."
She stopped fighting and stepped aside to let me in. She popped her head outside, looking from side to side before she closed the door. "This has to be quick," she told me.
"What's going on? Tell me everything."
"I can't Jas," she whined. "This isn't just about me anymore. I know something that will hurt both Jacob and Edward even more. Now Rose knows and oh my fucking God this isn't going to end well at all." She threw herself down on the couch. "One week till the wedding. This is all just gone to hell. You know that Alice actually walked in on Jacob and me. But she didn't say anything because she knew she could use it against me. That fucking bitch."
"Damn. She just walked right in, huh? I knew she was here, she said she going to but then she went home early, saying something else came up."
"Yeah, her manipulative ass was plotting. That's what came up. She cornered me at the bakery, told me some things, and well threatened me actually. Then I later find out that Rose was there and heard the whole thing. She won't blackmail me though; she's just going to wait for the perfect time to blurt it out."
"Tell me what it is. Maybe I can help." I needed to try. Her avoiding everyone wasn't going to help. If anything it will only cause more questions. People are just assuming its wedding planning, but the few of use who are clued in know the truth. Not to mention not having her around to talk to like normal was driving me crazy.
"Elizabeth is Edward's daughter, not Jacob's. Edward cheated on me with Tanya two years ago. That also means she cheated on Jacob." She shook her head.
"Holy fuck. I was curious about that. Jake's great and I hate to see him hurt, but I've always kind of known she wasn't his."
"Yeah, that's what I said. But Edward's?"
"Yeah, seems to make sense now, but I wouldn't have thought of that."
Well things just keep getting more and more fucked up.
After talking to Bella a little bit more, assuring her that I wouldn't tell Alice that I saw her and that I wasn't mad at her, I left. I went and hunted Alice and down. I had some things to say to her and some that I couldn't. But unfortunately, I ran into Rose first and boy did she look like shit.
"Uh, hey Rose," I said, causing her to jump. She was walking down the road from her and Emmett's house.
"What, Jas?" she snapped.
"Yeah, that piece of shit boyfriend of mine tried to get me committed." I almost laughed, thinking back to a conversation with Emmett, but I didn't. "Then when I fought with him, he told me to get help, or get out. So here I am and we're done." I almost couldn't believe it. Bella had mentioned Rose looking bad, but damn.
"Can I give you a ride?" I asked, not really wanting her walking around in that shape.
"My friend is just up the street… Sure why not."
She walked around and got into the car. Once I dropped her off at her house, I decided to make one more stop before going to see Alice.
April 6, 2009 – Emmett
Shit with Rosalie had just gotten way out of hand. She was hitting me, throwing things at me; she could barely even walk, or talk. I didn't know what she was taking, but I was positive she was hooked on something and I had no idea why. But when it came down to it and she refused the help, I told her to get out. I had to.
What I wasn't expecting though was her to actually leave and then about thirty minutes after she left, Jasper showed up.
"Hey, just saw Rose," he said when I opened the door.
"Yeah, where was she going?" I couldn't help but care.
"I gave her a ride to a friend's house, Vera or something like that."
"Thanks man, I just can't handle her anymore." I plopped down on the couch with my head in my hands.
"Yeah, she told me what happened. You did what you had to do. You know what you're doing, you do it for a living," he said, sitting next to me, putting his hand on my back. I don't know what was with me, but I leaned into his touch, absorbing the warmth that came from him.
"I hope so. Personal situations are always the worst though. You let your emotions affect you too much. If she was one of my patients, I would have treated her differently."
"Yeah, well. She isn't making it easier. Is there a family member of hers you could call that can help her?" He started rubbing his hand is slow circles on my back and my skin tingled. I could barely think.
"Uh, yeah. I'm sure she does."
"Well, maybe you could call one of them, see if they can do something. Maybe find out what's wrong with her, what changed her to get into it."
I leaned more into his touch, my whole side pressing against his and rested my head on his shoulder. I had no idea what I was doing, but it felt almost right, like I wanted more. As I pictured the situation in my head though, I jerked away and stood up.
"Sorry," Jasper said quickly, straightening himself. "I was just trying to be comforting."
"Oh, uh, yeah. I know. I appreciate it. Thanks."
He nodded, but wouldn't look at me. I suddenly felt like an ass. I was looking way more into the situation than I should have. I sat back down and leaned against the back of the couch.
Suddenly, I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I didn't know who I wanted. Well, I did, in a way and that confused the hell out of me. I turned to look at Jasper again as I felt his eyes on me, but I looked away when got the weird feeling again. I leaned my head on the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling, when I suddenly felt a hand on my thigh. I snapped my head down to see hand resting there and I looked back up at his face again.
"Are you sure you're okay, Emmett?" he asked softly. I nodded, not taking my eyes away from him. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No," I replied quietly. "For one, I think me and Rose have had this ending coming. I think… I don't know what I think actually."
I reached down and put my hand over his and stayed like that for a moment as I stared at them. In almost one second, I suddenly knew what it was I wanted. What the weird things I felt were. I found his eyes again and he leaned in. I backed my head away, unsure of what he was going to do, but the look in his eyes caused me to react. I couldn't have him feeling rejected, not when I finally knew what I wanted. Him.
I leaned in the rest of the way, reaching my hand up and pulling his face to mine. The moment his lips touched mine, it felt good. Really good. Embarrassingly, when the kiss depended and his tongue touched mine, I moaned a little and pulled him closer. He brought his knees up on the couch and pressed himself against me and I felt his need and I knew he felt the same. I realized what all the looks he had been giving me over the past year had meant and I knew what my body had been trying to tell me too.
As he pressed harder against me, I could feel his erection pushing against my stomach. I felt a tightness form in my lower stomach and I could feel my own erection growing. He straddled me, holding my face in his hands, as he kissed all over my face.
"I've wanted this for so long," he whispered into my neck as he moved his hands down and pulled off my shirt. He kissed all down my chest and made his way back up to my mouth. I didn't know what to say to his words, so I kissed him harder.
I felt him slowly slide off my lap, missing his lips on mine as he settled himself between my legs on the floor. He reached up and unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and I raised my hips so he could pull them down. My mind blurred as I felt his mouth come in contact with my skin and I knew there was no going back. There was no one else I wanted.
April 7, 2009 – Alice
I couldn't get a hold of Jasper and I was starting to worry. The last I heard he was trying to get a hold of Bella and I hoped for her sake that he didn't. He wasn't home and he wasn't answering his phone, so I patiently waited. As it reached the middle of the afternoon, I heard a knock on my door and I jumped up and flung it open to Jasper standing there. Something was different about him, but I couldn't see it behind the anger in his eyes. He found her. That bitch, I thought.
"Come in," I told him, smiling brightly.
"Alice, we need to talk." He walked over and stood in the middle of my living room.
"She told you, didn't she?" I snapped, instantly wishing I hadn't said it. I couldn't have been sure she did tell him, or if he even saw her.
"Who told me what?"
"Nothing," I said quickly, but it was too late.
"Tell me," he said, angrier than I had heard him in a long time. "Does this have to do with Bella and why she is ignoring me?"
"Maybe. But I'm sure you already know." I folded my arms across my chest and just stared at him.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her to stay away from you. I don't like how close you are and I'm sorry but I'm a little jealous of it. You don't talk to me nearly as much as you do her and honestly, I'm worried that you may still have feelings for her."
His reaction was not what I was expecting. He laughed. "Well, since were being honest. Yes, I do love her," he started and I could feel my face fall. I suddenly wanted to either throw something or cry. "But it's not in the way you think. She is my best friend, almost like a sister to me. I can't stand dealing with your shit anymore. Anytime I look at a girl like you… You're way to damn possessive, Alice. I'm not your property."
"No, Jas, you're not, but I love you," I told him, fighting the tears.
"Yeah, maybe you do, but you love yourself more. Ever think that maybe if you tried to talk to me once and a while and stopped trying ruin what I have with Bella, that maybe we would be closer? No. All you talk to me about is what you recently bought when you went shopping, what the girls at work gossip about, how jealous girls are of you and how shitty everyone else it. I'm tired of it. I genuinely cared for you and thought there was more to you than that, but this was the last straw, Alice. I'm done."
Before I could even say another word, he walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. I collapsed on the floor, crying. That bitch ruined everything and I was going to show her that I kept my word on things.
April 8, 2009 – Jacob
Days just kept flying by and my guilt just kept growing. I lost contact with people because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't even look at Tanya. I gave up on calling Bella, especially when Edward returned. I knew we couldn't go back to the old us, it was impossible. I loved her, there was no going back to friendship. That night I had seen a little piece of her love for me, but obviously, once again, it wasn't enough.
I was surprised when I saw her name on my caller ID when I was getting ready for bed, I just silenced it and let it go to voicemail. I sat down on the edge of the bed when Tanya walked in.
"Who was that?" she asked as she walked into the bathroom.
"No one," I replied.
"It was Bella wasn't it? What happened with you two anyway?"
She froze and just stared at me and laughed once. "You are lying. You could try a little harder you know."
"It's nothing really," I snapped, trying to get her to drop it.
"When are you ever going to get over your feelings for her?" she asked.
"When are you ever going to get over your feelings for Edward?" I retorted. She glared at me.
"You know, you better get over whatever fucking problems you're having."
"Why? Are you going to leave me? How many threats has that been this month, Tanya?" I asked her. I was tired of her bullshit.
"You know, one of these days it will be sooner than you think. I don't even know why I stick around anymore. Nothing really holds me here. It's obvious whatever we felt for each other in the past are gone."
"Yeah, that is becoming very obvious. Good night, Tanya," I said, ending the conversation and shutting the bedside lamp on as I curled into bed. The phone buzzed once more and I silenced it again without even looking at it.
April 9, 2009 – Edward
It was getting closer to the wedding and everything was going crazy. Everyone was avoiding each other and they were acting strange. I got a call from Emmett early in the morning telling me that he and Rose are through. I told him it was about damn time. But then he told me he got a call from mom.
"They're getting a divorce, Edward," he told me.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked, surprised.
My parents were like the fucking picture of a perfect relationship. They met their freshman year of high school and have been together ever since. They were always so happy and to hear they were getting a divorce was almost like a sign. No marriage was perfect of course, but if they couldn't work it out, then who could? After all the time they had been together to just end it. I hated the thought of it.
"I'm dead serious. She called me last night. I called you but got no answer."
"Yeah, I was out with Bella and her Dad going over some wedding bullshit. Fine fucking time for them to get a divorce huh. Damn it."
"Yeah, well, maybe you should take some lessons from it," he snapped.
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"She had an affair. Dad found out that it happened and instantly wanted a divorce." Oh. Hell.
"Well fuck. With who?"
"She wouldn't say. She said they were drunk and they didn't mean it, but Dad couldn't stand the thought of her being with another man."
"I don't know, Edward. Her and Dad will both be at the wedding, but don't expect them to be together."
"Well this is just fucked up."
"Yeah, well I gotta go. I have to get my suit for the wedding."
"Alright. I'll talk to you later."
After he hung up, I was suddenly not so sure about marriage. Not that I ever really was before. It just added to my uncertainty.
April 10, 2009 – Jasper
"So, any second thoughts?" I asked Bella as we walked through the park that her and Edward would be getting married in the next day.
"Yes and no," she replied with a laugh.
"I want to marry him, but I don't know. The guilt of everything… I just want to run away and never look back."
"Well you better at least call me if you do. I'll miss you too much."
She smiled and it was something I hadn't seen in a while.
"I wouldn't do it though and if I did, I'd take you with me."
"You'd have to take Emmett then too," I told her, smiling as I waited for her response.
"Oh, I heard about him and Rose… Wait! Does that mean what I think it means? Did you finally make your move?"
"Yes and it was amazing. He said he felt it for a while, but didn't quite know what it was. We've spent every night together since then. It was actually the night he and Rose split, which had me a little hesitant, but he reacted and since then it's been great."
"Oh, Jas! I'm so happy for you!" She hugged me with such a force it almost knocked me down, but then she pulled back quickly. "What about Alice?" I almost forgot to tell her about what happened with her.
"Well, actually… After I left you, I was on my way to end it with Alice, you know I had wanted to, but that was the final straw and I was done. Well, halfway there I found Rose, walking around wasted. She told me what happened and I gave her a ride to her friend's house. I went to see if Emmett was okay and well, you know… One amazing thing led to another and bam. I woke up with him the next day and after another great round, I went to end it with Alice. She flipped. Actually, she kind of blurted that she told you something and so I went from there and she admitted to telling me that she told you to stay away from me. I haven't seen her since."
"Oh man," she said as she stopped walking.
"It doesn't matter who said what. If I ever saw you, or talked to you again, she said she would tell everyone what she said she would." She suddenly started freaking out.
"Bella, honey, she hasn't yet. Maybe she changed her mind." As soon as I said it, I knew better.
"She's waiting for the wedding, I know she is."
"We'll figure something out. Have you talked to Jacob?" I hadn't heard from him or anything about him since that night at the bar.
"He's ignoring me. He has every right to. I avoided him for a week before I tried to call him. He knew I wasn't sick."
"Damn. I ran into that one night as I was banging on your door. I was walking back out to my car when he showed up. He told me you said you were sick, but I didn't respond. When I said you were ignoring me, he looked like he understood. But he seemed okay at The Hide Out, though very guilty."
"I haven't talked to him since it happened. I hate this. I just want my best friend back."
"I know, honey. Again, we'll figure this shit out, okay?" She nodded.
"Jas," she said, not looking at me as she started walking again.
"I think I love him."
"Jacob. I think I love him enough."
April 11, 2009 – Wedding Day – Bella
I was a nervous wreck. I knew I was making a bad decision. I knew I shouldn't marry Edward, but I couldn't stop myself. I had no control over anything and it was all in downward spiral. I was lost in my guilt and my love. I knew I wanted Jacob, but I couldn't talk to him. I loved Edward, but what we had done to each other was unforgivable. Knowing that I could cheat on him once and have it almost eat me alive made me realize that maybe he didn't love me enough. He never showed once out of guilt for all the times he cheated on me. What kind of love was that?
As I was standing in the dressing room, putting on my wedding dress, I went into a panic attack. Jasper, the honest man that he was, told me everything that happened at the bachelor's party the night before. I knew that Edward had cheated one last time, the night before our wedding and he was perfectly okay with it. It hurt more than any other times he has cheated before. I thought it was because of the fact that I knew how that side of the relationship should feel. Again, what kind of love, or relationship did we have where cheating was okay?
I was prepared for it to be the day from hell. I knew Alice was out with all the other guests and I just knew she was going to spill everything right then. I knew Rose was there, there was even a chance she would spill everything too. It was all going down in front of all of our family and friends. I hated it and the thought made me nauseous. Luckily, for that exact purpose, I kept the garbage can near, so I didn't have to move far.
When my Mother came in, it was the first time I had seen her since she had came from Phoenix, she thought I was just nervous about getting married. She was never too fond of the idea, so if I were to want to back out, she wouldn't protest. Instead of saying anything about my nerves though, she just talked about how beautiful I looked. I wanted to throw up again.
She told me that everyone had showed up and they were all just about ready for me to walk down the aisle. When she listed off the names though, I was completely shocked to hear that Jacob had showed up. A huge part of me wanted to run out there to finally talk to him, but I didn't. If I did that, then nothing would have stopped me from just making a run for it and doing like I had said I wanted to Jasper. Running and never looking back.
My Dad walked in soon after and said they needed me down the hall. When he grabbed my shaking hand, he looked up at me but didn't say anything at first, but as the music started to play, my whole body shook. He squeezed my hand.
"You know, Bells, it's not too late," he said. And a part of me really wished he hadn't said that. Because all I was thinking about at that moment when we started walking was how quickly I could get away.
As we walked down the white carpet that led to the altar, I suddenly wished I hadn't let Alice chose all the white ribbons and flowers back when we were still communicating. I wasn't sure why I had agreed to it being outside either. It was beautiful, all greens and flowers, but as soon as I turned the corner, I was blinded by all the white reflecting the sun's rays. Just like the light, everything hit me all at once.
When we started walking further, everyone's eyes were focused on me and I wished for once that I would have tripped or something. I tried not to focus on them since I couldn't make out specific faces anyway and looked up at Edward. He looked amazing.
His black tuxedo mixed with his hair being slicked back a little and the way he was standing, if he wasn't such an asshole, I would have been running down the aisle to marry him, but the closer I got, the more it became clear. I couldn't marry him.
When we reached that altar my Dad handed me over to Edward and then took his seat. I was standing there, facing Edward with my body trembling. When his eyes met mine, I could swear they echoed my own emotions. I raised my eyebrow at him and he shook his head slightly. I looked away and he led me to where the priest was standing.
I had completely forgotten the words we had chosen. It seemed like forever ago, but as the priest start reciting the words, I almost wanted to laugh. Instead, we stared at each other and I wanted so badly to see what was going on inside his head.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of nature, and before these friends and family, to join together this man and this woman in matrimony, which is an honorable and beautiful estate, and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but instead with love, respect, friendship, and honor. Into this estate these two persons present come now to be joined."
A lump formed in my throat as my stomach churned. The words: love, respect, and honor echoed repeatedly through my mind. I couldn't remove my eyes from Edward's and he looked a little worried himself, but the priest started speaking again.
"Edward, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife-"
"No," I answered for him, quieter than I had meant to.
"Excuse me?" the priest asked.
"No. I-I can't-," I started to say louder and was suddenly distracted by the loud gasps from our guests as I turned to see Jacob standing.
"Bella, you can't marry him," he said, quickly walking towards us.
"What the fuck?" Edward said.
I held my hand out to Jacob, hoping he'd stop. "Edward I can't marry you. This isn't a relationship, let alone an engagement. How do you think we would do as husband and wife? I can't. I'm sorry." I was about to turn and walk away, but Edward grabbed my hand. Jacob started walking again, but he stopped.
"Thank you, Bella," Edward whispered and pulled me into a hug. "I-" he started, but I cut him off.
"Don't thank me, I'm just as unprepared as you are." At that point, Jacob was by my side again. I opened my mouth to talk again, but of course, Alice stood up and decided to open her big fat mouth.
"Oh this is just so damn sweet! You stepping up and trying to do the right thing, Bella. Good for you! Too bad you're not getting your chance." She started walking forward, but Jasper jumped up and tried to catch her, but she shoved him aside. He spun around, trying to pull her out of the room by the arm, but not before she got her chance to speak. "Were you going to tell them you cheated on him with Jacob! Or the part about Lizz-" Her voice was cut off as Jasper clamped his hand over her face and pulled her away.
"What?" Edward snapped, looking to Jacob then back to me.
"I… This is not the place for this." I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole at that point.
"The hell it's not. Tell me now, did you fuck Jacob while I was away?"
"Oh my fucking god," he yelled out, placing back and forth.
"What, Edward? It's okay for you to screw all of Seattle, but one time I slip up, because of you-"
"You're blaming me?" he snapped.
"Yes. If you kept it in your pants, I wouldn't have been crying… I was constantly crying because I was marrying a selfish bastard who fucked every girl behind my back. Then still came home to me without one bit of guilt, to tell me how much you loved me. Well fuck you, Edward. The guilt from what I did with Jacob has been bugging me every day since it happened."
"And that makes it okay?"
"No, but it doesn't mean you get to give me a fucking guilt trip either."
"Whoa, calm down guys," Emmett cut in as he came closer to us. "Why don't we go somewhere else for this."
"Wait a fucking minute, Jacob?" Tanya's voice screeched from across the room. "Is this true?"
"Yes," he said, glaring at her.
"That's what you're fucking problem has been? I… I don't even know what to say."
"Oh like you have room to talk, whore," Rosalie said, speaking up for the first time. She was sitting on the opposite side of Tanya. "Did you or did you not cheat on Jacob exactly two years ago."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Tanya folded her arms across her chest, glaring at Rose.
"So I'm sure you won't mind if say, Jacob wanted a paternity test done."
"Why would he need to do that?" Tanya snapped, looking like she was about to lunge at Rose and tear her head off.
"Yeah, why would I want to do that?" Jacob asked, turning to Rose.
"Why don't you ask your best friend? She's known the whole time," Rose spat at me. Well, fuck.
"Bells?" Jake asked, sounding heat broken. I couldn't believe I was the one to have to break it to him.
"Lizzy isn't yours," I whispered.
"She cheated on you two years ago… The same time Edward cheated on me. You remember, the big thing that caused it? Yeah, well it was with Tanya. So… I guess you can put the rest together." I whispered the last part, ready for anything to remove me from the entire situation. A bomb? Someone with a gun maybe? Though I wouldn't put bringing a gun to my wedding past either Tanya or Rose. Fucking Psychos. I hoped I could at least be known as Edward's more normal ex. I rolled my eyes internally at the thought.
"You have… You're not… Holy fuck. Tanya?" Edward couldn't get anything to come out. His face was whiter than a damn ghost.
Tanya started blubbering like a baby. "I'm s-s-sor-rry." She sniffed and tried to run away, but fell over a chair. I wanted to laugh, but Jacob turned to look at me.
"How long have you known?" he asked.
"A few days," I mumbled.
"And you couldn't tell me?" he almost growled.
"You were ignoring me! What was I supposed to do?" It was kind of a lie, but no one really had to know that.
"What about me? You've seen me every day since I returned. You couldn't tell me." Edward's face was about a foot away from mine. It kind of scared me a little. I just loved how everyone pinned his or her drama on me.
"Would you have believed me? Or would you have just told me I was being over dramatic again? Do you remember that one time when Lizzy was one and Jake came over with her, she made a face and I was like, 'Whoa, she looked just like you there. Isn't that weird,' and you said 'Not even a possibility babe.' I think you knew. Even if you're words showed nothing, you're body tensed and ever since then I've had my thoughts."
"So, I just sat around dumbly while you all thought she was my daughter?" Jacob asked.
"No, I've asked you I don't know how many times since she was born. Are you sure you are her father? I didn't want to hurt you, but I knew there was a chance. Hell, I knew Tanya."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tanya snapped, still hyperventilating on the ground.
I couldn't take anymore of the problems, so I just walked out. Unfortunately, I didn't get so lucky. Jake grabbed me by the arm and swirled me around.
"Where are you going?" he asked, still angry.
"I can't take this anymore. Everyone's problems suddenly have become mine. I didn't want to know the truth about Lizzy, but Alice told me. She blackmailed me into staying away from Jasper. She said if I didn't, that she would tell everything about me cheating and about the kid. I didn't want to hurt you; I didn't know what to do. But fuck, if I would have known this would happen, I would have... I don't know, but done something else."
"I believe that, I do, but Bells-"
"Don't 'but Bells' me. I love you, Jake. I just can't take this anymore."
As soon as I opened the door, Jasper and Emmett was standing right on the inside, caught in a kiss.
"Whoa," Jake breathed.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Edward shouted from behind me.
"Damn it," I whispered.
"What the… Emmett?" Rose cried from behind Edward. "You… You're gay?"
"I.. uh… Well… I don't know," he said and Jasper's head darted to him, obviously confused. "Well, I mean, I don't know if… I think I love Jasper, so if that makes me gay… Then yes."
Rosalie growled and threw a chair at him.
"What the fuck, Rose. It's not like you seemed to care about me anyway. You treated me like shit from the beginning, but I let it slide, but lately it's worse. You've never cared about me."
"Oh really? You really fucking think that?"
"You really want to know what my problem is?"
"I did. Right now, not so much."
"Well excuse the hell out of me for being fucking upset because I can never have children," she shouted loud and clear. "I had some tests done two weeks ago and it can never happen. I've been depressed and maybe I lost control a few times but this? You just threw me to the side for him?"
I started shaking my head. Who's next? I asked myself, wondering what else could come up in the drama.
Suddenly, my silent question was answered when I heard yelling from down the hall.
"So you thought it was okay to have an affair with you future daughter-in-law's father?" I heard Carlisle say.
"Holy fucking shit," I blurted
"We were drunk. How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry," Esme yelled back.
I turned my head to look for my dad to see where he was during that argument. He was standing off to the side, shaking his head with a can of beer in his hand, looking like he had no fucking clue what was going on.
"I guess it doesn't matter anyway, the divorce will be final in a matter of days," Carlisle said as I heard him walk away. I gestured for Edward to go after him and he nodded. Emmett went to Esme, and at that point I walked over to my dad and stood in front of him with my arm folded across my chest. My arms were scratched by the tiny beads that dangled down the front of my wedding dress; once again reminding me what a fucked up day it turned out to be.
"Lovely wedding you're having here, Bells," Charlie laughed nervously before adding, "I don't remember anything happening with Esme, I swear. We were at some dinner thing to plan for the wedding. I hate things like that, you know that, so I had a little more to drink than I should have." He shrugged. "I remember waking up at home, that's it."
"So what, was she not as drunk as you were?" I asked, trying to get more out of him.
"I don't know, maybe she has an awesome memory. I feel terrible about it." When his eyes met mine, I could see the truth in his words. I nodded my head and made my way back over to where Jacob was standing.
He was arguing with Tanya, so I moved away. Alice was shouting at Jasper, Rose was crying in the corner with some girl holding her who I guessed was Vera, I could hear Emmett talking and I could see Edward farther away in the parking area, talking to Carlisle. I stood there staring at what was once my beautiful wedding as everyone fought. I finally had my chance to get away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I decided to go over to the table that had the drinks and cracked open a bottle of wine and started chugging it. I had no idea how much time had passed, but as I was sitting in one of the folding chairs farthest away from everyone, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Edward standing behind me.
"I really do not want to do this right now," I told him, slightly slurring at the end.
"Bella," he said softly, taking the empty bottle from my hand as he knelt down in front of me. "I'm not mad at you for sleeping with Jacob."
"We'll talk about this another time, okay? We really need to. Here," he said, pulling me up out of my chair. "Let me give you a ride home. Jas and Emmett left," he said with a laugh. "I tell ya, I didn't see that coming. Alice left too and Rose. Tanya and Jacob are still arguing it out in the parking lot. Luckily I didn't park there. So much shit happened today. The only thing I was worried about was telling you I didn't want to get married." He laughed again while he pulled me along to his car.
"I'm s-sorry. I should have told you before the wedding. Nothing of this would h-have happened."
"Yeah it would have, just maybe not here."
As he helped me into the car, I wondered for a moment why he was being so nice and why I was letting him take me home. Before I could think too much on it, I passed out.
April 14, 2009 – Bella
It was three days after the events of my non-wedding and life was going on like nothing happened. I don't remember much about that night, except Edward helping me into my house and in bed before he left. When I woke up the next morning in my wedding dress and hung-over, I just wanted to disappear. I was jumpy all day, waiting for someone to knock on my door, or call me. At school on Monday, I felt the same, but nothing happened. No one tried to talk to me. I didn't know how I felt about that.
Jasper called this morning to make sure I was okay. He and Emmett were taking an extended weekend by getting out of town for a few days, couldn't blame them. He promised he would answer if I needed him though. I saw Alice in the parking lot at school and wished myself invisible, but she just glared and walked away.
The day was fairly quiet until I got home. I was surprised to see Edward sitting in front of my door, patiently waiting for me to get home. I invited him in and we talked for a bit. He explained to me that he wasn't mad about the Jacob thing, or the Lizzy thing. He said the fact that she is his was not my business to be dealt with. He said that he talked to Tanya a little to figure out what to do about it and he decided that if Jake still wanted to, since he was all Lizzy knew, he could remain her only father. He said there was no need to confuse the poor girl. She deserved a good father like Jake, not like him. I was surprised. I was curious about where his suddenly maturity came from, but I didn't ask. It probably wouldn't last anyway.
I guessed Jake had said that he couldn't be with Tanya anymore after all the lies, but still wanted Lizzy, so that was settled. Lizzy was Jacob's daughter and Edward would just watch from afar until she was old enough to understand. Jake moved out of Tanya's and planned to say at Jasper's while he and Emmett are out of town. I was sort of hurt that all of that happened without anyone telling me.
Edward then admitted to asking if they would let him talk to me about it. He told them that I needed time to myself after the wedding and I guess they agreed. Hearing his explanation for that made me feel better and I was sort of glad. He said after everything, the least he could do was give me time to think to myself. Then the subject of us came up.
He said that a relationship was obviously something he wasn't ready for and we both laughed at that. He admitted that he was horrible for what he did and that he really hated himself for hurting me so badly and not even seeing how much. He did tell me that, in all honesty, that he didn't cheat on me as much as it was made out to be. He liked to play it up for some strange reason. The words that got to me the most though were when he told me how he felt about me.
"You are an amazing girl, Bella. I truly love you and I am a fucking idiot for what I've done to you. You deserve so much better than me and I hope you find it." He held my hand as he sat across from me on the couch while he spoke.
"I love you too, Edward. Always have and I think I always will. At first, lies aside, we were amazing, but it's been slipping. I don't want to lose you. I want you to still be in my life as a friend if that's okay."
"Of course that's okay. Believe it or not, you're the only one who keeps me from losing myself."
I didn't believe that at first until he explained why he was changing. He told me that he did feel guilty for what he was doing, but how he deals with guilt is anger and pushing people away. Hearing him talk about his reactions, made me understand it and it did make sense.
So it turned out that another one of my exes was one of my really good friends. I was okay with it though.
Later that night, Jake showed up. He said that Edward called to let him know that I knew everything and I was okay with it all. It felt awkward to talk to him because we hadn't actual talked since that night a few weeks ago. We stood in the middle of my living room in silence for a while, looking back and forth between each other and anything else before he spoke.
"When you said you loved me that day, did you mean…" he started, but as he looked down, I knew what he meant.
"Yes. It's enough." He looked up at me and his eyes were as bright as his beautiful smile. I couldn't help it as I threw myself at him, hugging him as tight as I could. "I finally see it," I whispered. "I'm sorry it's taken so long."
"Better late than never," he said and he pushed me back a little to kiss me gently. He wove his hands into my hair and pulled his mouth away, looking me in the eyes. "I'm finally where I belong now." He leaned in and kissed my forehead and everything felt right again. Even if only for a little while.
April 29, 2009 – Bella
Things were going great. Slowly getting better, hitting some bumps, but considering my wedding day with Edward, it could be a lot worse. Jacob and I kind of jumped into something, but were happier together than I would have ever imagined.
I was just getting home from my new job as a damn waitress and was happy to find it empty. Not that I didn't love Jacob, but he had pretty much moved himself into my apartment and had barely even looked for his own. I loved having him there, but I missed my silence. I set my purse and keys on the kitchen table and turned to the refrigerator to grab something to drink. Just as I popped the tab on a can of soda, my phone started buzzing across the tabletop.
I sat the can down on the counter and walked over to pick up my phone. I groaned a little when I saw Tanya's name on the screen and almost didn't want to answer it. But, since Jacob told her to contact me in case of an emergency involving Lizzy, I answered it.
"Hello," I said as nice as I possibly could.
"Bella? Hey, um… Can I talk to you?"
"What about?" I asked, not intentionally sounding rude, but it came out that way.
"Look, I know we have never got along, but I don't really know who else to go to…"
Ah, damn it. "What's wrong?" I asked, oddly curious.
"I'm pregnant." I couldn't say anything. The last words, confirming what I already knew, caused me to drop the damn phone. "I know for a fact that it's Jacob's."
Well son of a fucking bitch.