After the events of today's episode I just wanted to let out some of my feelings. I decided to do it from Luke's perspective, based on his line 'It just hurts so bad...'
Pairing: Luke/Reid :-(
Disclaimer- I own nothing. If I did, Reid wouldn't have died.
Watching his face and willing him to open his eyes one more time; but knowing that will never happen. You want to scream at him; to hit him until he wakes up.
Hating yourself for forcing him to come to Oakdale in the first place- if you hadn't he'd still be alive. But you would have never met him, and that's something you wouldn't change for the world. You know he'd say the same thing.
You push the others aside, snap at the nurses and doctors for not doing their jobs properly. They don't seem to care at all. But deep down you know that they have done all they can. The body that lies in front of you is not your boyfriend anymore. He's gone, and although you don't want to admit it, he's not coming back.
There was just so much you had to do together. You were only just getting started and it seems so cruel, so unfair, that he should have to die like this. You hate him for pulling the 'hero' act in his last moments; insisting that Chris take his heart, because that's why you lost him for good. But you can't help but love him all the more for it at the same time.
If there is a God, you feel like he's left you behind. You feel alone and empty, and the concerned faces around you just make you want to lash out even more. They can't help; they don't even care really. They just want a new heart for Chris.
Katy's the only one who really understands, but even she will eventually turn away from the lifeless body of her best friend to watch over her dying boyfriend's bedside. You can't resent her for that. But you can't help but hate her just a little.
If this doesn't work-; if Chris dies, then it will all be for nothing. Reid will have died for nothing and you will be left alone hating the world. Yes, eventually you will find the strength to move on, maybe even to love again. But for now, you feel like it's the end of the world.
If Reid were here he'd be telling you to stop whining and let the doctors and nurses do their jobs. But he's not, so you'll whine and cry as much as you want. You'll scream and lash out at the people who love you, and you'll hate them for letting him leave you alone.
Deep down, you know that this is what Reid would have wanted. But this is not what you wanted. You wanted Reid- you wanted him for the rest of your life. You wanted to spend every day together, getting to know him and learning to love again.
But instead this. The feeling of being alone, like it's your own heart that's just been ripped from your chest.
It just hurts so bad...