A/N: : ( My head keeps hitting things. I dun like it. —Scarlet

/is laughing/ —Katie

Disclaimer: I have completely run out of witty disclaimers. Which is understandable, considering there are fifty-two chapters of the Mpreg Drabbles. Anyway, Prince of Tennis belongs to Konomi Takeshi, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

Off the Spiral: Ryoma Bear

"Fuji-sempai, I'm not going. Get out of my house!" Ryoma was huddled in the far corner of his room, Karupin in one arm and a tennis racket held defensively in front of him with the other. Tezuka-buchou would understand if he had to use it as a weapon in this situation.

"Echizen, unlock the door or I'll just have your father or your absolutely charming mother or your darling cousin fetch a ladder for me, and I'll have Eiji and Kaidoh go in through the window." Fuji's sugar-laced voice filtered through Ryoma's shut-and-locked-with-a-chair-under-the-handle door.

His mom and cousin giggled.

"Come on, Ochibi, you're just gonna make Fujiko mad!"

Ryoma marched over to his window and opened it. "There is NO WAY I'm leaving my room in this!" He flung his hand down at the "clothing" they'd shoved him into when they'd ambushed him after practice.

"But it looks really good on you!" Eiji protested.

"I—" Ryoma turned when he heard the key turn in his locked door. "I don't want to!" He shouted, shrinking against the wall.

Fuji marched into the room and tore the racket from his hand, flinging it onto his bed. Karupin was released and Fuji settled a trench coat over Ryoma's shoulders.

"You didn't really think I'd make you walk all the way to Momo's in that, did you? I'm not that cruel, Echizen. Come on, we're going to be late for the party." Fuji grabbed the younger boy's arm and dragged him down the hall past his mother, father, and cousin, all of them trying to peak at the outfit under the coat.

"Thank you, Echizen-san." Fuji grinned as he pulled the freshman out the door.

"I look ridiculous," Ryoma grumbled as Kaidoh and Eiji joined them.

"You look quite fetching, actually, Echizen, and I'm sure Momo will agree. Emphatically."

"Like I care what he thinks—"

"Stop being such a little tsundere and get a move on."

"Nya, sorry, Ochibi," Eiji said, patting his head. "But you know how Fujiko is. Besides, it looks super cute on you, really. Aren't you excited for the party?"

Ryoma raised an eyebrow. Eiji had known him for too long to expect him to be excited about parties.

"Okay, so that was a dumb question, buuut at least you get free food!"

Well, that was true. "...I'm not taking this coat off."

"Yes you are," Fuji said firmly. "Where's your sense of fun, Echizen? Everyone's dressing up."

Ryoma's sense of fun was at Seishun high's tennis court. "Just because you like wearing weird sex outfits doesn't mean everyone else has to."

"Ochibi, it's just for fun. Like Halloween, but not..."

"How come you're not dressed stupidly now and I am?"

"You wouldn't be if you hadn't run away from us. We just wanted you to try it on, but then you ran off. We weren't going to actually make you wear it until tonight. It's your own fault." Fuji smirked.

"Yeah right."

"It is, Echizen," Kaidoh exhaled in a hiss, shutting the younger tennis player up

Ryoma was still sulking when they got to Momo's house. Fuji, Eiji, and Kaidoh removed the coat for him once the door was shut and pushed him into the middle of the living room where their collective other half was playing video games.

He had to hold in his laughter as he looked over their costumes. Oishi and Inui both looked like doctors, Tezuka was in a police uniform, Taka-san's work uniform went with Ann's lolita waitress dress, Sakuno and Tomoka were an angel and devil, respectively, since neither Yumiko nor Horio was there, and Momo was wearing the most ridiculous jungle safari uniform he'd ever seen. It made him feel significantly better about the black and white hooded, midriff-showing top and tiny black shorts Fuji had forced onto him.

"You're a panda?"

"What?" Ryoma blinked as Momo spoke.

"Your costume, Echizen. It's a panda," Inui explained.

Ryoma nodded, not understanding why that was funny.

Fuji appeared behind him then, flipping his hood up over his head. "You're just like a panda, Echizen. You eat and sleep constantly and are too cute for your own good." Ryoma pushed the hood off and glared at his sempai, who had apparently gone upstairs to make a quick wardrobe change while everyone else got a good look at Ryoma. He was now in a short black and white stripped dress with his hands handcuffed together in front of him.

Ryoma blinked at that. Hadn't Fuji just flipped his hood up?

"They stretch, Echizen." Fuji demonstrated, showing that the cuffs were connected with a stretchy cord, rather than metal links. "Mitsu has the real ones." He winked.

Tezuka sighed, and Ryoma could tell the captain had been roped into this the same way he had.

Momo sauntered over to him and put his arms around Ryoma's waist. "You really are too cute for your own good. I can't wait to take you upstairs so I can, you know, raise you in captivity."

Ryoma gave Momo a mildly disgusted look. "That was the worst joke you've ever made, and that's really saying something."

"Do you know how to stop being a brat for two seconds?"

"No. Get off me."

"Be nice or I'll start making jokes about you being a wild animal in bed."

"Oh, God. Buchou, can I please go home?"

"No."

"Then—then give him laps!"

Tezuka considered this. "No. Momoshiro, refrain from making bad jokes. If Echizen kills you, it'll have a negative affect on the team."

Kaidoh almost managed to hold back a disbelieving snort.

"Hey, if he kills me, then you'll be stuck with him as a vice captain next year." Momo stuck his tongue out.

Kaidoh's cat-eared headband shifted slightly as he shuddered. Ryoma was almost as bad as Momo at times. Like now for instance.

"Hey, Ochibi made a pretty good captain." Eiji hopped over to hug the younger couple. He was in a nurse's uniform. Ryoma guessed that made Oishi a doctor and Inui a vet then...

"Thanks, Kikumaru-sempai." Ryoma muttered as he shrugged the redhead off.

"So, Momo, what do you want to do first?" Oishi asked, letting Eiji snuggle onto his lap

Ryoma could feel Momo leering down at him and stomped on the birthday boy's toes with the heel of his boot in his annoyance.

"Ouch! Damn it, Echizen! That hurt!"

"Do you have Ponta?"

"If I say yes, will you be nice?" Momo pouted.

Tezuka stood up then and dragged Ryoma into the kitchen by the back of his top, Eiji and An-chan following.

"Buchou, you have Fuji-sempai!" Momo shouted indignantly.

Tezuka ignored the second year and shut the door behind them.

"Would it kill you to be nice to him!" An hissed at him.

"Yeah, Ochibi, I mean, I know you didn't want to come and dress up and stuff, but you don't have to be mean to Momo... If you have to be mean, be mean to me and Fujiko. Just try to make the best of it. Please?" They left then and Tezuka stood in front of the first year with his hands crossed over his chest.

"Syusuke didn't give me the hand cuffs for our personal use, Echizen."

Ryoma blinked. Then his eyes widened. "No. No, no, no, Buchou, I'll quit the team before I let you handcuff me."

"We both know that's an empty threat." Tezuka grasped Ryoma's shoulder and shouted, "Momoshiro!"

Momo ambled into the kitchen a moment later, hands buried in the pockets of his absurd safari shorts. "Yeah, Buchou?"

"Come here for a moment." Tezuka whipped the handcuffs out of his pocket and snapped one end deftly around Ryoma's wrist, then the other side around Momo's.

"...What's going on?"

"Bonding exercise," Tezuka said dubiously. "...It was Syusuke's idea. But for you two, I think it might be beneficial. The key is currently at my home, and you won't be getting it until tomorrow at noon. Echizen, Syusuke's talked to your mother about you sleeping here for the night."

"Don't I get a say in all this?" Ryoma glared.

"Of course not." Fuji appeared behind his boyfriend, smiling ambivalently.

"Buchou, I really don't think this is such a good idea..." Momo frowned.

Tezuka looked at Fuji and they shrugged in unison. "Too late now." Fuji smiled.

They were shoved from the kitchen into the living room.

"Sit." Fuji demanded.

They sat down, completing the circle around the coffee table.

"What now?"

"Well, there's always games, and food, and Eiji and the girls and I made a big cake for you earlier, but that will come later... and presents... and we picked up a few movies earlier, just in case." Fuji ticked off the things on his fingers.

"That sounds like a good enough order for things to me..." Momo scratched his head.

"Well then, what do you want to play?"

Momo lifted the wrist that was connected to Ryoma's. "Something that we can play with these on."

"Well, that leaves a wide range of party games at our disposal, but I think we've exhausted Never Have I Ever—Truth or Dare, of course, never gets old..."

Momo looked at Fuji uncertainly. "Well, I guess."

"Oh, don't let me make the decisions, Momo, it's your birthday. What do you want to do?"

Well, that should've been obvious, and he was quite sure Fuji was well-aware of exactly what he'd like to be doing right now—namely a certain bratty freshman—but Momo knew he wasn't getting out of his birthday alive without however much festivity as Fuji deemed appropriate. "Uh... anyone in the mood for Mafia?"

Fuji's eyes slitted dangerously. "Are you sure you want to play Mafia with me, Momo?"

"Yeah, 'course I am," Momo answered defiantly. "Everybody else okay with that?"

The team gave a general murmur of consent, and Momo dragged Ryoma up to his room to get a deck of cards.

"That was a lame excuse." Ryoma grumbled as they reached Momo's bedroom.

"What are you talking about?"

"Cards. You could have just said, 'I want to drag my unwilling boyfriend upstairs to have sex. Wait here please.' It's not like they're stupid," Ryoma growled.

Momo turned to look at Ryoma. "What is your problem? I didn't ask for this, you know. I wanted to spend the evening with you, not have some big stupid party thing. None of this is my idea." He backed Ryoma up to his desk.

Ryoma glared up at him stubbornly.

"Here." Momo turned a half-step away to get a throw blanket off his bed. "Do you want to borrow some sweatpants?" He tugged Ryoma over to his dresser before he got an answer and dug through a drawer.

"Don't bother," Ryoma mumbled. "Fuji-sempai will just get mad and make me take them off." He bit his lip as Momo paused, his back still to Ryoma. "But... thanks."

Momo sighed and pulled Ryoma into a hug. "I did come up here to get cards, you know."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Do you really not want to spend the night?"

"Not like I have much of a choice." Ryoma caught Momo's hurt expression and held back a long-suffering sigh. "I was going to anyway, idiot. I'm not quite the worst boyfriend who ever lived, I'm going to spend your birthday with you."

"Act like you want to be here, then."

"I'd want to be here more if it weren't for Fuji-sempai and his stupid costumes. And if I hear you say it looks good on me one more time, I'll Samurai Drive your head."

Momo bit his lip as he held back a bad joke.

Ryoma rolled his eyes, a faintly fond smile on his lips. "Just say it."

"As long as I get to Samurai Drive you later."

Ryoma shook his head. Momo really was very one-track-minded sometimes.

He let Momo drag him downstairs and settled back into the circle in the older boy's lap. Momo's arm settled across his stomach under the blanket so neither of them had to twist.

After two rounds of losing to a mafia Fuji Syusuke, they collectively, and unspokenly, decided to just vote the tensai out the first round. It took them another two rounds to learn that Fuji had been the doctor and the sheriff, respectively, the times they voted him out and he wasn't the mafia. The fifth and sixth rounds ended with Sakuno and then Tezuka being the mafia.

"Remind me not to ever play this with you guys again," Momo groaned into the crook of Ryoma's neck.

"I warned you, Momo." Fuji collected the cards.

"Whatever, we're doing something that I know I can beat you at next, Fuji-sempai. Food."

Fuji's eyes opened, a smirk playing on his lips. "You should know better by now than to challenge me, Momo."

Ryoma groaned mentally. It was going to be a long night.

Nearly three hours passed before the other Regulars left, leaving Momo and Ryoma alone. Tezuka had promised to return at noon tomorrow with the key.

Momo examined the heap of presents scattered about the living room. "You know, Echizen," Momo said, "I don't recall getting anything from you."

Ryoma gestured at himself with his left hand. "This isn't good enough for you?"

"Seeing as you didn't want to do it? No."

Ryoma rose to his knees and situated himself to straddle Momo's lap. "You could..." He ducked to rest his forehead against the side of Momo's neck. "You could have me as your present... Takeshi..."

"Well, that's all I wanted in the first place, really," Momo said with a grin and used his right hand to tug Ryoma in for a kiss.

"For my birthday, we're fleeing the country. I'm not letting Fuji-sempai throw some stupid party for me, I'll end up dressed as a princess or something."

Momo sniggered. "Even I don't think you could pull off a ball gown."

"Gee, thanks."

"Hey, it's a compliment to your masculinity. You're the one with the obsession with topping."

"Stop talking or the only time I take off this stupid outfit will be to put on pajamas."

"I was kinda hoping for a striptease."

"Don't push your luck."

"But I'm good at it."

Ryoma nodded. "You are."

"I guess we can't really get undressed all the way, though." Momo lifted his hand to clink the handcuffs together. "Shirts."

Ryoma shrugged and began to wiggle his free arm backwards through the sleeve and shoved the material over his head before sliding it down the cuffed arm, stringing the top on the handcuff's chain. "Could be worse."

"How's that?"

"Could've cuffed our ankles together."

Momo grimaced at the thought. "Mnrr. Upstairs." He stood, dragging Ryoma up too, and weaved through the sea of discarded wrapping paper to get to the stairs.

When they got to Momo's bedroom, they managed to get the rest of their clothes off without too much difficulty, both their shirts hanging from the cuffs between them.

Ryoma stumbled as he jerked away from Momo, who had pulled Ryoma's arm into an awkward angle in his attempt to pick the younger boy up from around his waist.

"Momo-sempai!" He yelped as they tumbled into the floor.

"Sorry," Momo said worriedly, trying to untangle them.

"I don't think Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-sempai thought this out." Ryoma looked up at Momo.

"Obviously not." Momo, hovering over the younger boy. "C'mon. Last time we did it on the floor you were mad at me for weeks."

"Only because I got rug burn."

Momo rolled his eyes. "Up."

"So," Ryoma said tonelessly as Momo pushed him onto his back on the bed, "any special fantasies you've been wanting to act out? I'm in a rare mood to accommodate you, it being your birthday and all."

Momo pouted at the handcuffs. "None that can be acted out very well with these on."

"Well, there's always next year."

"Tease." Momo groped under the pillow, with some difficulty as it was currently under Ryoma's head, and pulled out a bottle of lube. "Well, there's one thing you can do that I don't think would be too bad with the handcuffs."

"Being?"

He pushed the bottle of lube into Ryoma's hand. "Do it yourself."

Ryoma's face instantly turned a shade of dark crimson. "I don't want to." He pushed the bottle away.

"Please?" Momo nuzzled Ryoma's ear and petted a hand over his side. "It's really really hot..."

Ryoma snatched the bottle back, grumbling, "Only because it's your birthday," and lubed the fingers on his free hand.

Momo watched, holding his breath, as Ryoma settled onto his hands and knees and reached behind him to probe his entrance with his middle finger. Much to his own embarrassment, the freshman heard himself moan. God, this was humiliating. How did he get talked into this?

He added a second finger. It felt different from Momo's—his fingers were so much smaller, of course—so there wasn't even a twinge of discomfort yet. He wasn't sure he could do this efficiently. Maybe if he just did it for a few minutes he could get Momo to take over...

"Nngh—!" A jolt of pleasure shot straight to his groin as he accidentally nudged his prostate.

Momo reached for the lube with his free hand, maneuvering it awkwardly to drip the liquid into his palm. He curled his hand around the quickly hardening member in his lap.

"Quit that." Ryoma glared.

"Why?"

Ryoma pushed a third finger inside himself as he scooted closer. "Because." He laved his tongue over the head of Momo's cock.

Momo groaned loudly and buried his fingers into his boyfriend's dark hair.

The first year pulled back. "I can't do it, Momo-sempai."

"What?"

Ryoma flushed and glared at the arm that was disappearing behind him. "Not... enough..." he mumbled.

"What's not enough?"

"Your fingers are bigger than mine."

"...Oh. Oh! Okay." Momo wrapped his arms around Ryoma and hoisted him up so that the freshman was straddling his lap. Ryoma's fingers had slipped from inside him, replaced moments later with Momo's much larger ones. Ryoma groaned and arched against him. This was so much better than doing it himself.

Momo grazed over his prostate with each stretch and stroke and the prodigy was soon panting "Takeshi" in Momo's ear.

"Ready?"

Ryoma nodded and let the second year lower him onto his cock, then lay him back on the bed.

"You okay?" Momo pressed a kiss to Ryoma's forehead as he positioned their cuffed hands, fingers now laced tightly, next to Ryoma's shoulder on the bed.

"Not if you don't move."

"I think someone needs a bit of taming." Momo grinned.

"If you don't stop making stupid jokes, this will never happen again."

"Your threats are empty." Momo pushed forward a bit. "Mostly because I make stupid jokes all the time and you continue to have sex with me anyway."

"Yeah, well—" Ryoma choked on his words as Momo slammed into him. "I—oh—I'm serious."

"Maybe I don't believe you. Why do you always insist on doing this witty banter thing during sex?"

"If you don't like it, then make me stop." Ryoma smirked in challenge.

"Maybe I will." Momo pulled Ryoma's leg around his waist with his free hand and pulled out. Ryoma tossed his head back when he pushed back in.

"Momo-sempai!"

"That's better." Momo laughed, leaning down to nuzzle Ryoma's neck as he pushed in and out of the prodigy. Ryoma bit his lip when his prostate was repeatedly teased by the new angle.

When Ryoma clenched around Momo with a moan, Momo pushed in once more and leaned down, biting down on Ryoma's shoulder as he came.

"Who..." Ryoma panted after they'd come down from their high. "Who's the wild animal now...?"

"It's not funny when you do it," Momo muttered.

"I don't think it's funny when either of us does it," Ryoma replied.