Warnings/Codes: Post-series, Naruto and Sasuke friendship, humor
Pairings: mentioned NaruSaku and SasuKarin.
Naruto, sixth Hokage of Konoha, is having a good day. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, and the paperwork has been lighter than usual. In fact, things are so good that he's decided to pick up Sakura a little treat and join her at the hospital for an early lunch. Said treat in hand and his totally awesome new orange coat on, the blond walks towards the shiny new hospital where the love of his life works.
And then, as he rounds the last corner, he notices something out of place in the alley next to the hospital.
"Sasuke, what are you doing?" Naruto asks.
The Uchiha in question appears unscrewing the grate covering the primary exhaust for the hospital's ventilation ducts with a kunai.
"Visiting my wife," Sasuke replies, grimacing as he stops to tug another screw out of place.
Naruto sighs. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the work order I received this morning to replace the tiles in the maternity ward, would it?"
"I wouldn't know anything about that," Sasuke lies, continuing in his task.
Naruto can feel the headache coming on. "And this wouldn't have anything to do with Sakura's orders to have you barred from the hospital either, right?"
"I haven't a clue what you're talking about," Sasuke responds in what is probably the most blatant lie he's ever told and another screw hits the ground. "I'm just going to check on Karin, nothing else. I have a right to do that, you know."
Naruto sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefingers. And the day had started out so well, too. "Sasuke, you are not sneaking into the hospital through the ventilation ducts."
"It's not sneaking in if you're supposed to do it," Sasuke says, pulling the last screw loose and moving to pry the grate off.
Sometimes Sasuke will say something and Naruto will wonder how Sasuke passed the "fit for duty" psychological exam. This is one of those times.
Sasuke pries off the grate, revealing the open duct beyond. "Look at this, Naruto," he says, gesturing to the rather broad opening. "Why are these ducts so large? I'll tell you why: so ninja can crawl around through them. ANBU do it all the time."
"I'm pretty sure they get smaller inside," Naruto states flatly. "And you're not ANBU."
"That's what they want you to think," Sasuke replies, pointing at him. "Maternity's the third floor, right?"
"If Sakura catches you, she's going to flay you alive," Naruto sighs.
Sasuke waves him off, hauling himself up and going feet first into the duct. "She's not going to catch me."
Naruto rolls his eyes, leaving the alley. "I'll see you in fifteen minutes," he calls over his shoulder.
"Hey, dead last: you'll understand when it's your turn!" Sasuke shouts, and then disappears inside.
Naruto walks slowly to the front of the hospital and sits down on one of the several, nice decorative benches before it. It's all new, very new, with enough rooms to support the growing population, no less than five major trauma rooms, six operating theaters and fully-integrated teaching facilities. It's one of the things he's worked hand-in-hand with Tsunade and Sakura to get finished. He's very proud of this hospital – his hospital, really – and it's going to change a lot about their mission casualty rates.
The sun hits the building, bathing it in white, and he closes his eyes, soaking up the warmth contentedly.
The sound of breaking glass and the distant shouts of a thoroughly furious Sakura make him open his eyes again, just in time to see Sasuke smash into the dirt in front of him with a black eye, probable internal bleeding and several gashes from the glass.
"Did you enjoy your flight?" Naruto teases, resisting the urge to grin at his friend's expense.
Sprawling in the crater left by his impact, the Uchiha takes deep gasping breaths of air as he tries to get his breath back and slowly raises his hand to give Naruto the finger.
Naruto snorts in amusement and, after a moment, looks down at him, curiously. "So, what's the story?"
Sasuke gives him a crazed, stupidly happy smile that could light up the village for weeks. "It's a boy!"