Looking for love on all the Wrong Web Pages

I searched high and low, across the internet,

to find, you see, the perfect man

who isn't otherwise: married, gay, or dead.

A swashbuckling hero, he plays on heroically;

without a doubt, I fell for him instantly.

Through the air and with a sword is Robin Hood.

He fights the evil Prince John as only a hero could.

With his trusted friends: Marion, Tuck, and Little John,

and wise, Celtic Olwyn who never steers him wrong,

he dazzles the women with theft and chivalry-

leaving Marion in a fit of jealousy.

Tuck, a hearty friar-with the appetite to prove it-

often prays to the lord to get them through it.

John Little, has brute strength and the heart of a kitten;

only to be stolen by three women smitten.

All to be saved by their friend tried and true,

to steal the hearts of those loyal to you know who.

My reserved place, as it is on Monday nights,

in my chair and the computer www site.

'Til I came here from the other virtual places,

I was looking for love on all the Wrong Web Pages.

I searched high and low, across the internet,

to find, you see, the perfect man

who isn't otherwise: married, gay, or dead.

A swashbuckling hero, he plays on TNT;

without a doubt, I fell for him instantly.

Through the air and with a sword is Robin Hood.

He fights the evil Prince John as only a hero could.

With his trusted friends: Marion, Tuck, and Little John,

and wise, Celtic Olwyn who never steers him wrong,

he dazzles the women with theft and chivalry-

leaving Marion in a fit of jealousy.

Tuck, a hearty friar-with the appetite to prove it-

often prays to the lord to get them through it.

John Little, has brute strength and the heart of a kitten;

only to be stolen by three women smitten.

All to be saved by their friend tried and true,

to steal the hearts of those loyal to you know who.

My reserved place, as it is on Monday nights,

in my chair and the computer www site.

'Til I came here from the other virtual places,

I was looking for love on all the Wrong Web Pages.


This poem was entered for the weekly creative contest of "The New Adventures of Robin Hood" series. Side note: I did win an autographed picture of Matthew Porretta for this work.