AN: And so I slowly return, dolls. I hope you all enjoy this next one!
Chapter 4: In Pieces
There's truth in your lies
Doubt in your faith
What you build you lay to waste
So I, I won't be the one
Be the one to leave this
As soon as I heard Bella speak I knew that I was completely fucked over. No one was going to even bother listening to my protests now.
I'd be an idiot to even try to attempt to side against Bella; everyone was going to take her side since she was pregnant.
Even though I knew this it still didn't stop me from trying to be an asshole about it.
"Mom," I stepped closer to my mother as I shook my head "it's not that simple. You can't just expect me to just leave my life behind and move to a new city and not put up a fight about it."
"Jasper, just what do you think you're leaving behind?" My mother stood with her hands on her hips, glaring straight at me. "Don't tell me for a second that you'll miss me or your father because we both know that's a lie. You don't talk to anyone anymore, son. I think you moving here will be a good thing."
"It's the worst fucking thing." I slightly raised my voice, crossing my arms over my chest. "You think that coming to live with her is going to make things any better for me?"
"You need to stop acting like a selfish, stubborn and look at what is right in front of you, young man." I fucking cringed. I knew what was coming next. "It's time you took responsibility for something."
She might as well have slapped me across the face with that last statement, but as much as I wanted to bitch at my mother for saying it I knew it was fucking true.
I had spent far too much time being a complete selfish asshole that only cared about himself and where he was going to get his next fix.
You realize this, but are you going to own up to what you need to do?
"So what, you want me to just stick around here and wait for this kid to be born and then what?" My mind was racing a mile a minute and I couldn't put my thoughts into words quickly enough.
"Jasper!" My mother came closer to me with narrowed eyes. "I do not want to hear you speaking in that manner. I will not allow it, not for a God damn second."
I shrugged my shoulders and glanced around the room taking in the expressions.
Carlisle and Esme were exchanging confused glances and Bella looked like she was about to fucking faint.
Before I could answer someone else decided to throw their opinion into the mix.
"Sarah are you sure that this is the best thing to do? They're both young and not exactly in the best place to just force them together." Esme's soft and tired voice caused everyone to look over at her.
"I'm with her." I nodded towards my aunt. "Making me move in with Bella makes no fucking sense and she doesn't even like me."
"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you two are expecting a child and, I hate to burst your bubble Jasper, but that takes much more importance than anything else."
"How can you expect things to just be fine, mom? What the hell planet are you living on?"
"You can argue all you want Jasper, but you might as well stop. You are not going to run away from this situation."
"This situation is completely fucked up, we're fuck ups. Why can't you see that? Why can't anyone see that? Just cause she got knocked up it doesn't change anything." Turning to face my aunt and her husband, I raised a brow. "Did you two forget the fact that Bella almost fucking died because of me while we were living under your roof? What makes you think that shit won't happen again?"
My mother looked stunned, Esme looked like she wanted to fucking cry and Carlisle appeared to want to punch the shit out of me.
I welcomed it.
I received none of it.
"How dare you?" I heard a mumbled voice coming from off to the side. Turning around just in time I watched as Bella shoved me as hard as she could, causing me to stumble back somewhat. "You think I would so something like that again? I am fucking pregnant!" She hissed through gritted teeth, pushing me yet again.
I tried best I could to not put my hand on her, but I wasn't about to stand there and let her push me around like nothing.
With everyone watching, however, I wasn't about to step over that line.
Before I could open my mouth to speak the door to the room opened and two nurses stepped in with bewildered looks on their faces.
"May I ask what in the world is going on?"
"Nothing," We all answered at once and the nurses rolled their eyes.
"I think it's time that all your visitors head out for the night Mrs. Cullen."
"We're not finished here." My mother tried to protest, but even she was no match for the medical staff here.
There was far too much fucking estrogen floating around in the room for my liking.
"I hate to break up whatever it is that's going on in here, but visiting hours are over and all this yelling and arguing isn't good at all for Mrs. Cullen and her baby."
"Five minutes and we'll be out of here." My mother nodded towards the nurses, holding her hand when they tried to tell her she had to leave again. "You have my word or you can call the police on me."
They finally gave and left the room, leaving all of us to stand there in awkward silence.
"Bella and Jasper, I know that you two have a lot to work through and there is obviously a history between you two, but for tonight you two are just going to have to deal with it and try to be civil for each other, if just for this one night."
My mother's tone was completely calm and reserved; a total one eighty from her emotional outbursts a few minutes ago.
I didn't really feel like fighting anymore. I knew I wasn't going to win anything right now, regardless of what I said.
I would have to throw in the towel for tonight.
"Fine," Running a hand through my hair I looked around the room "one fucking night let's get it over with."
Though obviously not the answer she was seeking it was enough for my mother for the moment.
"Esme dear I'm going to borrow your car for the evening to take these kids over to Bella's apartment." I snorted as my mother dug around her sister's bag until she found the car keys. She didn't even give anyone a chance to say anything else.
I stood awkwardly off to the side as mom and Bella said goodbye to Esme and the now sleeping baby. I was amazed that she had been asleep during throughout that whole ordeal. I wish I could've blocked them out that easily.
When they finally all started clearing out of the room I briefly hugged my aunt before leaning down to place my hand atop the baby's for a second. I hated to admit it, but there was just something do damn peaceful about looking at her.
Shaking my head I moved away from the bed, not wanting anyone to think that I actually was fond of children.
That was the last thing I needed right now.
The hospital was eerily quiet, most of the visitors having gone home for the night while the majority of the patients were probably settling in for the night already. We got a few sideways glances from the nurse's stations as we walked through, but I paid them no attention.
My mother on the other hand glared at them, mumbling things under breath until we got all the way to the elevators.
"The nerve of some people," She huffed and pressed the button for the first floor before looking back at the two of us. Bella was nervously fidgeting with the hem of her sweater and I was just trying to look anywhere else but at her.
"You know communication is key to any form of relationship, you two."
No one answered my mother's comment.
She might have as well been talking to the elevator doors.
"You two are so damn stubborn." My mother laughed softly to herself just as the doors opened and we all stepped out and headed out towards the parking garage, Bella and I falling in line behind her.
We didn't speak a word to each other as we entered the garage, Bella pointing out where the car was.
"Since you know this city better, I think you should drive darling." Tossing the keys over to Bella with a soft grin, mom turned to look at me. "Jasper, you get in the passenger seat so you can get a bit better view of the roads."
What the fuck did it matter if I knew the streets around here? God this woman was so damn determined to have me stay here it was borderline insane. Just because I had agreed to this one night to stay with this girl it didn't mean that I was going to permanently move in with her.
There was no fucking way.
I was too pissed and tired to even want to fight so I just slipped into the front of the car, slamming the door shut behind me as the others did the same.
"The apartment isn't too far from here." Bella spoke to no-one in particular as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
"Do you hear a lot of sirens living so close to the hospital, dear?" Mom was trying to make small chat and I bit back my laugh. Bella hated when people asked her things. She felt as if people were intruding on her personal life, wanting details of her past.
"It doesn't really bother me." I took note of the fact that Bella had tightened her grip slightly on the steering wheel as she turned a corner. "Since I don't have a car here, it's close enough so I can walk to the hospital for my meetings."
We both glanced in her direction with raised brows.
She laughed nervously as she pulled in front of a building. "It was part of the deal when I moved here, going to my group meetings every week." With a soft shrug she turned off the car.
"This is where I live." Stepping out of the car I glanced up at the brick building, scrubbing my hands down my face as I waited for the girls to join me.
It didn't look like that bad of a place and I didn't know if I was relieved or disappointed. If the apartment was nice I couldn't use that as an excuse to not want to be there.
"Alright, well I'm going to attempt to head back to the hotel now." Bella and I both turned to look back at my mother. "Bella, sweetheart, will you tell me how to get to this address? I don't think it's too far from here." She showed her a piece of paper before Bella quickly rambled off some directions.
"Alright you two, it looks like I won't be that far from here so if you need anything I am just a call away." After a few moments mom added a bit more to her statement. "Not to say that you two will need me, you are grown and care for yourselves."
Rolling my eyes as she hugged me I quickly said goodbye, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I watched her drive off.
After a few awkward moments out on the sidewalk Bella finally got the hint and started walking towards the entrance without so much as saying a word to me.
Which was fine by me, I didn't want to talk to her either.
Truth be told I was still trying to process the bomb she had dropped on me earlier. I had a million thoughts and questions running through my mind, but I didn't want to exactly sit around and actually talk about them with her.
I wasn't ready for that quite yet.
We quietly rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, the same silence following us as we walked down to the hall until we eventually reached the door.
Leaning against the wall I watched with irritation as Bella fidgeted around her bag until she found her keys. What all did she have in there that should couldn't find her damn keys?
"We going to stand out here all night or what?" My question went unanswered just as Bella pushed open the door that led into her apartment.
She stepped inside first, taking a few steps to turn on a lamp that was in the corner of the room. Giving off light into the room I took in a few of the surroundings before reluctantly taking a step inside.
There wasn't much to look at, but it wasn't shady looking either.
There was a couch, a coffee table with papers strewn about and a TV right across from them. It wasn't anything extravagant, but somehow I knew that this is what her home would look like.
Shutting the door behind me I walked to the center of the room, catching a glimpse of the small kitchen and a hallway that led to Bella's bedroom.
I figured that would be the place that would have all her shit that mattered to her, not out here in the living room where anyone could see.
The tension was thick as we stood there for what felt like fucking ever, neither of us not really knowing what to say to the other. Even though she hadn't said anything I knew she was nervous and she didn't want me to be so close to her, let alone in her new home.
"Can we stop with this silent bullshit, Bella?" I grumbled under my breath, stepping a bit closer to her.
She turned around to face me, eyes narrowing slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What bullshit? Look, I know you don't want to be here Jasper and quite frankly I'm not exactly thrilled that you are spending the night in my apartment." Though her words were slightly cold, there was a softness and vulnerability in her eyes that lead me to believe otherwise.
"Well it'll just be for this night and then I'll be out of your way, alright? I don't want to talk through anything with you, or have some heartfelt conversation over your current condition. Not right now, because I honestly have no fucking clue how to respond to any of this."
Finished with my mindless rambling I glanced back up at Bella, her shoulders slumped slightly while her brows were pinched together in thought. For a second I thought she was going to start crying, but after a few moments she just shrugged.
"I expected nothing less from you." Her voice was tired, but the hurt didn't go unnoticed.
Without another word she disappeared down the hall for a few minutes, coming back to throw a few blankets and a pillow on the couch before glaring back at me.
"The bathroom is through that door right there," She nodded with her head towards the hallway "I'm going to bed, there's no point in standing out here all night with you trying to even attempt to have a decent conversation with you. So, goodnight Jasper I'll see you in the morning and then you can go back to your life and forget that you ever even saw me."
I stood, slightly dumfounded by the words that had just fallen from her lips. I had to admit, for someone who had claimed to be changing her life around Bella still knew all the buttons to push with me.
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of know that though. Though I'm sure by the slight shift in my posture she knew something was up. Regardless of the time that had passed between us, the ever present challenge to break the other was still hanging over our heads.
Without another word she left the room, the sound of her door slamming shut a few moments later.
I knew that I was driving myself into an even deeper hole with every comment I made, but I couldn't stop myself from being an asshole even if I tried. Something inside me was always pushing, always wanting to hurt people; especially Bella.
Always driving away the people who care about your stupid ass
"Fuck it," Shrugging out of my sweatshirt before kicking off my shoes I grabbed one of the blankets and threw it over the couch. Taking a moment to switch off the lamp I all about collapsed down onto the damn sofa. The weight of everything that had happed over the past few hours was finally hitting me and I could feel my mind spinning once again.
Unfortunately I had taken my last few pills earlier and the rest of them were stashed away in my suitcase at the hotel. It was just my fucking luck.
My heart was pounding and I felt anxious as hell, but the desire to completely fall asleep was quickly winning and before I knew it I was succumbing to that darkness that I always seemed to be craving these days.
I wanted to hope for a calmer day tomorrow, but I had a feeling that this was just the beginning.
I wasn't sure what, but I knew that whatever it was…was going to fuck Bella and I up even more.
Leave me thoughts, darlings! I adore you all and thank you for bearing with me!