Chapter 26:

It turns out, Shikamaru reflected, that adopting someone was an incredibly involved process. The legality part of it anyway. For all intent and purpose Fuyuumi was already adopted. She'd moved her things in, he'd given her his parent's room.

The first few days had been fun, she had been on light duty and they'd taken meals together, had gone to a few child-themed puppet shows. Now, back to her normal schedule he was starting to understand the trials of parenthood.

"Fu, hurry up." He said for the tenth time. He did a shimmying dance outside of the bathroom. Grumpy Jonko did a series of figure eights around his feet while Seito barked enthusiastically at him.

There was a muffled shout, "Girls take time!" from the bathroom and he flung up his hands in frustration. He stomped down the stairs and out his back door. Finding a likely looking bush he groaned as he relieved himself.

"There's a message from Hyaaki at the tower, Hokage." A tori-masked Anbu said, peeking her head over the edge of his roof.

He cursed loudly but before he could vent his ire at her she disappeared again. He sighed as he looked down at his no-longer clean socks and tromped back inside.

He made them both some oatmeal and put strawberries and a bit of honey in hers. He was half done with his before she made an appearance. "Went with the blue sandals today, I can see why that would take forty minutes in the bathroom."

She deigned not to comment on this but instead dove into her food. "What is the class today?" He asked, watching her wolf down her the oatmeal.

Fu-two as she liked to call her came down the stairs. He'd trained in and used a kage bunshin a few times but the shadow-clone technique was far too chakra intensive to make it worthwhile, in his mind. It had its place but it wasn't a tool he'd dusted off in combat.

That she maintained one constantly was amazing...but it was also a bit quirky. Her clone wasn't able to form any ninjutsu but she had got it talking at least. It replied to him as Fuyuumi continued to bolt down the oatmeal.

"Tactical planning and effect." She said while braiding Fu's hair.

He nodded, "I'll have a few hours after your classes get out, we can head to the dojo if you like." Both eyes brightened a bit and they nodded in eerie synchronization.

Fu-two took his empty bowl to the sink and scrubbed it out as Shikamaru tried to enjoy the tea-like substance he had brewed. He quickly gave up that losing battle and stood. He took out some money and gave it to her. "Walking around money." He said by way of explanation and she grinned at him.

"I'll be at the dojo at four, don't give Iruka too much grief."

She stood up as well. "It's Maki-sensei today. She's one of the new Suna teachers. No one gives her any grief." Fuyuumi looked contemplative for a moment. "Is it true that Suna shinobi have to kill their firstborn to make jonin?"

He snorted at this. "Probably...but you should definitely ask Maki-san just to be sure."

She looked at him skeptically and shrugged.

He left before she did and headed to the tower. Hinata fell in beside him and handed him a folder. There was no secret how she knew where he was all the time but it didn't make it less disconcerting.

"Thank you." He said and put on the hat for no other reason than to free his hands. He skimmed the report.

"Are you going to release him?" He asked, trying not to sound interested as he read Ibiki's report on Nara Akatuo.

"In another week, Hokage. He's learned his lesson but I want the Nara council to learn theirs as well."

Bastard shouldn't have tried to grill Fu about the training I was giving her.

He handed the file back and she replaced it with another. He skimmed this one but stopped and restarted it again, giving it his full attention. Hinata put a hand at the back of his elbow and steered him around a lightpost he was about to run into.

"How'd this come in?" He asked, still not looking up.

"A snake summons. I believe Ibiki said it was a cobra."

He instinctively put a hand on the Kusanagi's hilt to make sure she was in her sword form and nodded.

The sword had been unusually taciturn of late. He attributed this to his own mood towards the snakes. He'd been tricked by Manda into giving him dozens of weasels and had come no closer to working off his debt to the cold blooded bastard.

The silence was welcome but he knew that she was still there.

He re-read the note, committing it to memory.

Ibiki-chan,

My visit to Kiri must have been good, I don't remember any of it. Sending two prisoners your way, they'll arrive a day or two after this. They wont have much to say but hold onto them till this is all done.

Not much progress but we did manage to escape from Kakashi. Tell Dances-with-sluts not to chat up every concubine he meets and maybe he'll get some work done.

~A

"No word yet from Baku, Kakashi or Chouji?" He asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

She shook her head slightly and he handed her back the file. Which she replaced with yet another one. That trio still had two more days but the waiting was killing him. Hinata steered him around a vendor's cart as he read.

This one was good news at least. "How long?" Suna had come en force finally. Not the entirety of their active shinobi but enough to be seen as aggressive.

"It looks as though they arrived the night before last." Hinata said, looking serene as she always did.

"Issue a very formal statement decrying Suna's attempted raid put two Anbu on guard at the academy and have them report on all Suna's doings. Tell them to be slightly less than invisible. Tell them to submit their reports via the jonin commander. Also, get me the rest of team eight, Kurenai included."

"That will take time, Shino is on a mission and your jonin commander is as well. The reports will just sit there."

"It doesn't have to be right away but it does have to be all of them. They can leave the reports in his office. He'll get them eventually." He was hoping they'd sit on his desk just long enough to be read by anyone but Kakashi.

As his mind strayed to team 8 he realized Shino was, by a mile, his most efficient shinobi. He'd never taken a single ryu out for any of his missions. He made a mental note to adjust his pay to reflect the effort.

He grinned at the file in his hand and handed it back.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone so pleased to be invaded before." Hinata said dryly.

"No, it's terrible. They've sundered the little goodwill that we've worked so hard at. Terrible tragedy for diplomacy." He said all this with a grin. "It's just a nice day out. Who can be mad when it's this nice?"

Hinata looked at the steely grey sky. The sun hadn't made an appearance yet and wasn't likely to all day. She glanced at Shikamaru who was navigating under his own power now and sighed inwardly.


As Shikamaru entered his office he was greeted with a loud, "Ohayo!" by Naruto. Much to Shikamaru's increasing pleasure he hugged Hinata fiercely and then shook his hand not noticing that Hinata had gone very still and very pink.

For her part Hinata looked ready to feint and it was nice to see that perfect veneer crack a bit. He looked at Jiraiya who was lounging in the 'comfy' chair as Shikamaru liked to call it. "Akatsuki?"

Jiraiya nodded and went back to plucking at the lyre in his hands.

"Hinata, perhaps...Hinata...Hinata." He poked her in the arm, finally dragging her attention away.

She looked over at him, her eyes slightly glazed and raised her eyebrows, "Hmm...yes, Hokage?"

"Why don't you debrief Naruto..." She blushed hotly but he soldiered on. "...while I speak with Jiraiya. I'm sure he's hungry?" He asked, looking at Naruto.

"Starving. The pervert doesn't even like ramen." He said and caught the pillow Jiraiya threw at him without looking.

Hinata seemed to find herself again and nodded. "Hai, yes of course."

As they walked out he heard Naruto talking, "I heard you're head of your clan now. I leave for..." They trailed off and he shut the door.

He grabbed one of the chairs in front of his desk and set it near Jiraiya. "Make it grim..." Jiraiya raised his eyebrow and Shikamaru sighed, "...please." He said, leaning back, the smile vanishing from his face. His 'good day' was about to evaporate.


Hinata knew that she should be watching the meeting with Jiraiya but she couldn't tear even a part of her gaze away from Naruto. I love you I love you I love you...

Her brain wouldn't shut up about it. She could barely listen to his words over her internal dialog.

"...and I got you this." He said, looking sheepish and embarrassed. He produced a crudely wrapped package and handed it to her.

She stared at it for a long moment.

He looked at her excitedly. "Well...open it!"

"Ano...I didn't get you anything." She said, her feet starting to tingle. It was the first sign that she was about to pass out.

"That's alright, it wasn't for any reason. I just saw it and thought of you." He rubbed the back of his neck and gestured for her to continue. He looked embarrassed. Why would he be embarrassed?

With hands that looked tremulous to her eyes she opened the package. Inside were two violets, cast in silver. She picked one up and realized they were for her hair. Little pins.

"They're violets, I mean your hair is like a violet but these are silver like your eyes. I thought...anyways, if you don't like them it's not a big deal. I don't know anything about girl...er women stuff."

She felt a warm rush that was not entirely centered on her face and hugged him and realized what she was doing and felt light headed. You know more than you think you do.


Shikamaru rubbed his temples and looked at the clock. Barely noon. "I would like to talk with Guy and Tenten please."

The chunin outside his door saluted but the man was probably as tired as he was. He'd been running all over Konoha today.

He signed yet another scroll. "And Sakura!" He shouted after the receding footsteps of the chunin.

Or maybe Ino... He shook his head. Sakura would do fine.

He looked at his Anbu out-box. It was still empty. He wished, for the hundredth time that day, that any of the three he'd sent out, Kakashi, Chouji or Baku would report. Without confirmation he had no clue if missions were backing up.

There were several time-sensitive missions in Kiri that were about to come to a head.

The second part of his plan to pull up the Root was simple in theory and entirely, ludicrously complicated in commission. The Root was an independent form of the Anbu. Their leader, Danzo...had decades of paranoia and covert operation experience locked in his wrinkled, old head.

He would have contingencies in place if he was ever killed. Contingencies that would splinter the Root into a dozen sub-factions working wholly independent from Konohagakure law. Or at least...that's what Shikamaru would do.

So he had to remove Danzo's agents from his control. To that end, he'd given all the Anbu missions currently active to his three shinobi. They had orders to locate the Root dead-drops, replace their mission load with his and report back.

He'd hoped to get around half of Danzo's Root with the ploy but he wouldn't know anything until the missions he'd given them started getting completed. He'd broken the drop-code during one of Fu's training sessions. If it rotated (which is what he would do) it would all be for nothing and it would bring all the Root back to Konoha, consolidate Danzo's power and put him on high alert.

If that happened, there was nothing that he would be able to do to prevent in-fighting. He didn't have accurate assessments of Root personnel abilities so the outcome of a civil war was all but a dice game.

It was risky but if it prevented outright fighting then he had to take that risk. He had a few alternate plans if Chouji, Kakashi and Baku came back empty handed but if he had used the wrong code...he'd have nothing left up his sleeve but to hand Danzo the mantle of Hokage and retire.

Very very far from Konoha.

He barely noticed as Guy, Tenten and Sakura were escorted into his office.

Guy cleared his throat and Shikamaru looked up at them. Sakura flinched. He supposed she still wasn't recovered from the trick he'd played on her before she'd died.

"Close the door, please." After the door clicked shut he stood in front of his desk and leaned against it.

"This is going to take a while, have a seat." He didn't wait for them to comply but instead went to his window shades and closed them.

When he turned back around they were all looking at him with varying degrees of wariness.

"This isn't something I ask of you lightly. I know for you in particular..." He said, nodded at Sakura. "...this will be a difficult decision. The unfortunate part is that I need you to volunteer for this mission without being told what it is. Once you've accepted, you will take it until it's conclusion or I will have you imprisoned indefinitely until the matter is resolved by someone else. You may walk away now without repercussion." He fixed them each in turn with his eyes.

Tenten stood with Guy, "Whatever you need, Shika...er, Hokage." She said, grinning lopsidedly. Guy was more reserved. His file had huge earmarks dedicated to explaining how unfit he was for Anbu duty. He didn't have the stomach for assassination. He could kill a man but he had to be looking him in the face and it had to be completely unavoidable.

This is where he stood on the backs of his predecessors. This is where he spent the loyalty that other people had earned. Guy knew what he was going to ask, he just didn't know who he was going to unleash the three on but he had stood and quickly.

While not central to the team, as he had toyed with the idea of giving the mission to Ino, he never-the-less held his breath until Sakura stood as well.

"You three are going to kill the Kazekage." He said heavily.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anko slapped the unconscious shinobi hard. "Wake up...idiot." She grumbled.

Temari was laying on her back, she had her hands behind her head, her legs bent and crossed, kicking one sandal lazily. "I don't get it." She said, looking at the sky, the clouds scudding past her vision slowly.

"It's about the quiet I think." Anko said and slapped the man again.

"It's boring as hell." Temari retorted but continued to stare at the clouds.

Anko shrugged. "I think that's what he likes about it."

"Who likes being bored?" Another slap.

Anko sighed and stood up. "How hard did you hit this moron?" She opened her canteen and dumped it on the man's face. His Suna Hitai'ate sparkled with the water as he came awake with a start.

"There he is." Anko said, sounding pleased with herself. "You sure you got his tooth-thing?"

Temari held up the false-tooth with the cyanide capsule hidden within. "Yep." She looked at it for a moment more and then stuffed it into a thigh-pouch.

Temari flipped up to her feet with graceful ease that caused Anko to make a face and fixed the shinobi with a steely eye. Recognition dawned on his face. "Traitor!" He spat.

"The worst kind, Mujin." She leaned down close to him, though not close enough that he could lunge and bite her. "I want a name. Who's giving the Suna Anbu extra-missions?"

The man at her feet snorted. "You know I wont break under torture. Lets get it over with, make it slow, make it fast. The only thing you're getting out of this is a dead body."

Temari laughed loudly. By the look on his face, this wasn't the reaction he was looking for. "Two dead bodies, actually...neither of them yours though. Why would I hurt you, Mujin? You're going to be my little canary or I'm going to kill your baby sister and that sow you call a girlfriend."

He shuddered a little, his face going pale. "You wouldn't..."

"Wouldn't what, Mujin? Betray both my brothers and my village? Please...you have no idea what I'm capable of...well unless you count me fooling all you Suna idiots for years. Test me, Mujin. Your buddy Sajin did..." She upended a bag in front of the increasingly pale Mujin and two heads tumbled out.

"I know it's hard to tell but those are your teammates. Mijin was retired...but he and Sajin were an item. Unfortunately Sajin said you're the group captain. So...either I get a name or I'm going to take my little bag to your house and I'm going to fill it up again."

She ignored Anko who was turning purple with trying not to laugh behind the terrified Anbu.

"We...we didn't take the missions." He said finally, looking defeated. "It was all triple blind. Dead-drops linked to dead-drops."

She rolled her eyes. "I need a name Mujin. All you little Anbu assholes gossip like hair-dressers." She picked up the bag again and started to walk off and he flinched.

"It's...We never knew exactly but there was just a rumor...one of the missing nin from Konoha, Orochimaru's man. They said he's got the missions. I don't know who his contact is in Suna, I swear."

Anko's mirth faded and she snarled, "Kabuto."

Mujin nodded, looking defeated. Sweat stood out on his upper lip.

"And you called me a traitor. Did you even submit a report?" The shinobi wilted a little. "At least I'm honest about it. You should have scratched through your hitai'ate the second you didn't inform the Kazekage. If you had half as much honor as you think you do...you'll submit yourself to him and give a full accounting and accept every punishment he gives you."

She released the bunshin on the two honey-dew melons that had served as the 'heads' and turned away from him in disgust. "You're free to go, Mujin. I wouldn't sully a kunai with your blood."

Anko followed her out of the clearing. Once they were out of earshot she began speaking, sounding angrier and angrier. "He might be behind this little plot but he wouldn't have gotten traction without some bait. On my side...it's Danzo. He wants to be Hokage, that's no secret...I don't have a clue what..."

Temari cut her off, "Weapons. Suna is the largest distributor of weapons. I don't know what his endgame is..."

"You can bet my shapely ass Shika knows." Anko grumbled, looking cranky.

"...but the punchline is power and money." She swished her fan angrily and a swathe of dandelion heads popped off as the wind struck them.

"What's our next move?" Anko asked after a few minutes of silence.

The blonde kunoichi looked at her sideways. "Mujin was my idea. Your turn."

Anko didn't look at her, "We're in Suna, once we start stomping around Konoha I'll take over. We're missing nin but if I mess up it's still Konoha that gets blamed, whereas if you..."

"Screw the pooch it's just my fault, I get it. We gotta find the Suna contact. Our Anbu don't have a leadership structure...so it makes it a little problematic."

Anko thought about this, "Neither do Konoha's. We just sort of...take it to the pit until we're tired of getting beaten up by Baku."

Temari laughed again, "Ok, then it works the same. So..."

They both thought on the problem for a while.

Not liking long silences Anko spoke up first, "Garaa have a girlfriend?"

Temari snorted, "I wish. He needs something like that in his life. I can't get him to relax. Sometimes when he's with Naruto he can..." She trailed off, looking wistful.

"Get him drunk." Anko suggested.

Temari shook her head. "He can't drink. Even with Jiraiya's new seal it would be inviting Shikaku to try to seize control."

"Bummer."

Temari nodded. "Plus with his sand armor...it's hard to get close to him."

Anko thought about this for a moment. "You know, Cherry wouldn't be bothered by that sort of thing. She's strong. Like butt-puckeringly strong. Didn't he give her a spear or something? Pretty phallic."

She'd meant it to get a laugh but Temari stopped walking, her face deep in thought. "You know..."

"God...not her. She's such a pain." But Temari wasn't listening anymore.


Shikamaru rubbed his temples as Fuyuumi tried again to make a passable Kagemane. She'd been able to complete it consistently but only when he wasn't distracting her. He didn't expect her to overpower him, he had almost 50 kilos on her and years of experience.

Every time he tried to move her with her own Kagemane though, it shattered. She was sweating freely now.

"That's enough on the Kagemane." He said finally, and opened the shutters of the dojo.

Fu grumbled something that he heard but chose to ignore.

"Relax, I'm going to teach you something else. All the kage training is a clan secret but this is a family secret."

The surly look disappeared from her face and she rubbed her hands together. "All right!"

He pointed at the clan symbol hanging from a post that had seen better days. He supposed he should have it replaced...or mended it or something.

"Your...our clan is proficient in a number of things. We don't have any Kekkei Genkai, we're not particularly influential, we don't have the numbers that other clans do...everything I've taught you, anyone from any of the other clans can learn." He squatted down in front of her and motioned for her to do the same.

He grinned at her and she grinned back, looking excited. "We're smart. Everything we do, we do to the most effect for the least effort. That may sound like laziness to some but it's economical, intelligent and keeps us from overextending ourselves. Why throw a forty foot ball of flame when you can throw a kunai? Why level a city when you can poison a drink? We're smart, Fu. You're every bit as smart as every Nara and smarter than most."

She blushed a bit under the praise.

His hands formed a circle. "This is the eternity pose. It's nothing special on the outside. You can perform this in front of anyone you want. They may understand what you're doing but they can never duplicate it."

"Everything is a circle. We just come into it a different places. This is how I clear my mind. In time you'll be able to enter the state of mind without performing it but for now we'll work on the meditative stance."

He stood, and watched her as she tried to get comfortable.

"I'm going to give you a problem. I want you to think about it as a circle. You can accomplish this in many ways but the most common is to think of an answer, find a set of circumstances that bring it about then form a plan to bring about those circumstances."

He took a sip of water. "To that end, I will give you a riddle: What has a head and tail but no body?"

She glanced at his sword and he shook his head, chuckling. "It's not a snake. Think of the circle. How is it our secret? People expect you to think a certain way. Their whole lives are lived on this boring straight line. They never branch out. Don't think the way the question wants you to think, think the way that the answer allows you to."

"Close your eyes and start anywhere you like with the problem."

He pulled a coin from his pocket and began flipping it idly. It made a small ringing sound in the silence of the dojo. About the fifth time he did it he could tell that it was annoying her and smiled to himself. It was the same way that he'd been taught.

Flipping the coin he watched and waited. It was about five minutes before she opened her mouth to tell him to stop it and then her eyes snapped open, "Oh!" He flipped the coin at her and she snatched it out of the air.

"A coin, correct. Lets try one a bit tougher."


The council meeting was held a bit later than normal. The sun was almost completely gone as he walked into the council chamber. The seven members stared at him as he entered. Danzo was already there. He'd likely already spoken to the council members in private in one form or another.

That Hinata hadn't mentioned it was a testament to how she limited herself in this particular part of her clan's dealings. As though summoned by thoughts of her, Hinata strode into the council hall. She nodded to him politely but he could see that she was...more than a little disheveled. Not in appearance but...emotionally. It was something he had rarely seen in her.

When she saw him looking at her her countenance shifted sharply and the uncrackable veneer was back. He sighed. Naruto really could bring out the humanity in people.

There was a wooden, hollow knocking and he turned towards the seven elevated chairs of the council.

"This meeting is called to order."

Like most town meetings, this one was largely innocuous. There were motions about roadways, seconded and then voted on. Another motion about ordinances regarding loud noises before or after sunset.

He dozed through most of it.

It wasn't until Hinata nudged him that he started to pay attention. He felt hot rage on his face like sunlight and saw Hinabi staring at him. She was glaring murder at him while Danzo spoke.

"The Hokage has commanded my retirement as well as the complete recall of one quarter of Konohagakure's forces from vital peace-keeping missions."

There was a general, unhappy grumbly both among the spectators and council members alike.

He yawned, still trying to wake himself up. Danzo's appeal to the council was something he could have predicted from the moon. It still complicated things...but no one capitulated on the shogi board before they'd made a single move.

There was pride to be considered. Or perhaps denial. He didn't know and didn't care. Danzo pushed his piece forward, Shikamaru would push one of his own.

"What reason do you have for this decision?" Asked Hanabi. She looked murderous. He got the feeling that she was being steered by the elder members.

"Well...there's no decision, Hyuga-sama." He said, covering his mouth from a particularly jaw-cracking yawn. "I asked Danzo-san to join with the majority of our forces to the north under my command. I have..." He paused as he held out his hand to Hinata. "...the transcripts from our meeting if you'd care to read..."

He had been about to speak more but Hanabi cut him off. "To what end, Hokage?"

Hinata actually tsked. Naruto really must have broken her composure. "Defense, Hyuga-sama. Suna has invaded our borders. I came here tonight to inform you that Suna has declared war on Konoha." He stood now, finally awake. "I can't divulge every source I have access too. I had hoped that Danzo would accept my word in the matter. He has, instead decided to take it as a personal attack. His reaction is my failure, not his. I hope that in the future we can avoid these sorts of misunderstandings through mutual trust."

Danzo bowed contritely, but his face was tight. "Hokage-sama...of course every shinobi is needed for this. How can my contingent help?"

Lies galled him but they also made the world go around. "I couldn't...you made it very clear that your missions are critical." He said, grabbing the 'transcripts'.

"Please, Hokage-sama." He said, his voice tight and his eye a murderous ball of steel. "How can I help?"

Shikamaru made a show of pondering. "I need forty-two shinobi for two weeks. I know you've your own, critical missions to handle. If you can managethat, I think we can win this war in short order and without major disruption to Konoha...economically."

Danzo gritted his teeth, "It shall be done."

Hinata spoke up now, "Danzo-sama...these forty-two shinobi will need to be published as active duty. If you wish I can coordinate with your second and complete that task and give a full accounting to the council."

Tinow, who had been quiet thus far said, "Seconded."

Danzo turned to her sharply but she ignored him. Hanabi, who was staring at her sister, looked almost confused as she commanded a vote in the matter.

"All in favor?"

The motion passed unanimously.

Shikamaru whistled low and grinned widely. "I do love a well-oiled republic."


He rubbed his temples. He could have just said forty shinobi but he wanted Danzo to know that he knew exactly how many of his ninja that he had. Forty two was exactly half. It was the active force that wasn't out on mission.

He'd had to insert pride into it. He had had to show Danzo that he knew. Now Danzo knew he was well informed.

It had been a stupid decision, born of something that logic couldn't account for. Your best! Do you even know what the means, Marumaru? That's what pride gets you. A bucket of...

He kicked at the Hokage's desk in front of him and toppled it over. He wished he had Tsunade's strength. He would have thrown it right at the monument where his own visage was under construction.

This is why he didn't indulge in pride. It made you stupid. It made you worthless. He dropped into the eternity pose to try to calm himself.

Hinata glanced at the desk, entirely on it's side and looked back at Shikamaru. "That went better than you seem to be giving it credit for, Hokage."

She walked over to the 'comfy' chair and sat down.

"I know what you struggle with...Shikamaru." She said, not looking at him.

He knew how to hurt her and he reached for it. "You could have stopped your father but you let him keep going." He snarled angrily.

"That's not what you're upset about." She said, her face not changing one iota from the perfect placidity it always held when she dealt with him.

He rounded on her. He gathered no chakra, it wouldn't have mattered if he had. She would have taken the attack without reprisal be it psychological or physical.

"Why don't you tell me what I'm mad about with those damned eyes?" He growled.

She made a few hand symbols to the Anbu present and watched them leave the room.

Hinata stood and walked over to Shikamaru who looked at her sadly but defiantly. Her heart went out to him. His pain was as plain as the nose on his face. As she stepped closer she watched him step into an academy taijutsu stance.

She knocked his defense aside easily and pulled him into an embrace he stiffened for a moment and then melted into her, crying pitiably.

Loud sobs wracked him as his heart tried to catch up with his mind. She held him close and tried to keep herself from crying as well.


He woke with a start, his mouth already forming Fuyuumi's name. Hinata poured a cup of tea for him, her demeanor unchanged despite his break-down. "Ino is looking after your daughter. They are having eggs over easy. Ino is explaining to her that everything you say is a bit stupid because...and I quote, "You're too smart."

"Thank you." He said, simply. He could feel shame rising up and knew that Hinata could see it all over his face.

"You cried on my shoulder, Hokage. You cried because your pride got the better of you. Are you going to lament that because of your pride now?"

He chuckled when he recognized the impossible question and shook his head. "No, I suppose I wont. As far as shoulders to cry on, yours were very soft."

She looked down at her tear-stained blouse and glared at him. "Perhaps I shall tell Naruto of your fascination with my 'shoulders', Hokage."

Shikamaru waved his hands in front of him. "You win."

She smiled at him, "Kakashi, Baku and Chouji have arrived for debrief."

He hadn't meant to say it out loud but a cry of, "FINALLY!" Escaped his lips.

They were in the side-room of the Hokage's office. He allowed Hinata to precede him through the door and tried to suppress the grin that threatened to burst out of him at seeing the three shinobi. Baku began, all business as always.

"The western route was infiltrated and replaced, Hokage-sama." He said with a slight bow.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head as though he was embarrassed about it. "The northern route is also clear. It wasn't easy."

"You're already getting S+ pay for this, don't try to milk it." Shikamaru said sternly but he was already turning from Kakashi, looking forward to Chouji's report.

Chouji bowed deeply and spoke in a low voice. "My mission was completed, Hokage-sama. There was..." He started and then kneeled on the ground in front of Shikamaru. His heart started pounding in his chest.

"...a complication. Anbu-root Yiau was killed during the exchange."

Shikamaru felt as though he would pass out. He heard Hinata starting to speak, "The tower appreciates..."

He spoke over her, his voice wooden. "Was the battle seen by anyone else?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Chouji said, his head still bowed.

Small miracles. If it had been seen he would have had to abdicate on the spot. "Baku, place Akimichi Chouji under arrest. Place him with Ibiki pending trial for treason." He heard himself say woodenly.

Baku, his mask still firmly in place thought about this for a moment and said, "No."

In his already shocked state it took Shikamaru a moment to realize what he'd said and he turned to Baku. His mouth opened and he started to speak but Baku interrupted him.

"Anbu, give me the room."

Four Anbu materialized from their hiding places around his office and escorted Chouji, Kakashi and Hinata from the room politely but firmly.

The last thing he heard Kakashi say was, "Come on...At least let me watch."

"Yiau was a dog." Baku said simply, sitting down in a chair after the door was firmly closed behind them.

"He was an active member of Konoha's shinobi." Shikamaru said, his eyes narrowing.

Baku snorted. "No, he was a spoiled, one-trick pony on a Root roster. He hasn't been active duty in four years. You know why the third gave him to Root? Because his own team were about to give him a kunai breakfast."

"That doesn't mean..."

"Shut up." The Anbu said without ire.

He stood up then and walked towards Shikamaru. "I asked Hinata to have this little chat with you because she's good at this sort of thing. Apparently the message didn't stick."

There was a flash of movement and a dull thud of flesh on flesh before Shikamaru's rump hit the floor. "Grow up." The masked man said firmly, massaging his freshly-used knuckles. "Fair doesn't come into anything. Do you think it's fair that I have to train some snot-nosed Hokage? I'm fifty years old, I should be spoiling my grandchildren."

Shikamaru was clearing his vision and rubbing his jaw tentatively.

"Do you think it's fair that you had to take on the mantle of Hokage at the ripe-old age of seventeen? Do you think it's fair that Hinata has to wipe your bottom for you?" His voice wasn't angry. If anything it just sounded like a tired instructor stuck with explaining the same thing over and over.

Shikamaru started to get up and Baku pointed at him. "You sit your ass right there." His tone changed to a razor thin growl of menace.

The Nara glared up at him, "You are relieved of duty."

"Sure sure." Baku said, flapping his hand back and forth dismissively. "The Third and the Fourth both relieved me of duty too but they still got their medicine."

He crouched down next to Shikamaru whose lip was bleeding. "Nothing is fair, Shikamaru. Nothing is right or just. That's why we have a Hokage. To arbitrate, to make things as equitable as they can possibly be. Chouji killed a dog, a dog who served a man who tried to kill you. Put any spin on it you want but if you send him to prison for treason, he's going to tell the truth at trial. I know the sort. He's a better man than you or I could ever be. He'll tell the truth, face the consequences and die for a piece of dog-shit I would have dirked his first mission back."

He straightened and looked down at Shikamaru, his voice, when it came was not unkindly. "We want you to hold the world to that standard, so you suck up the evil and you spit out rainbows and I don't care how much the hypocrisy galls you and I don't care if it puts you in an early grave knowing that you're not what you want the world to be. You be a two-faced, lying and conniving bastard and you make the world better or I'll stomp a mudhole in you and give that damn hat to the next idiot I see."

He stood up and offered his hand to Shikamaru.

"I don't know your whole plan but I want you to think about everything I've said. If you still need a fall-guy for the death, then I pinched that turd. At least I have the common decency to lie about it during a trial or escape before the headsman comes."

Shikamaru took Baku's hand and with its help he stood up. A dawning light of comprehension fell over Shikamaru's face and Baku chuckled. "Figure something out?" He asked but Shikamaru ignored the question.

"Bring them all back in." He said, sounding excited.

Baku opened the door and the three walked back in. Hinata looking at his split lip apprehensively, Kakashi looking surly and Chouji looking devastated. "Baku, take Akimichi Chouji into custody pending a trial for treason."

Chouji looked up, hearing the light-hearted tone of a plan in Shikamaru's voice. "You're just going to have to trust me, Chouji."

He walked up to his best friend and clapped him on the shoulder. "You did really good, this is all about politics."

Chouji grinned at him. He was back on familiar ground now. Shikamaru had a plan.

Shikamaru went to his desk and pulled out a pen. With it he scrawled a hasty note and handed it to Baku. "Read it if you like but that gets into Ibiki's hands the same second you turn over custody."

He looked at Kakashi who was still smiling. "Bring me Ino and Kiba, please." He said, wiping the smile off of Kakashi's face.

Baku leaned over and whispered something to Shikamaru. "Just Ino." He amended and Kakashi kwarmi'd out of the office, a huge stack of papers exploded into a flurry of noisy ruffling.

He did that just to annoy me. Shikamaru thought. But for once his mood wouldn't be waylaid. This couldn't have come at a better time.

He sat down at his desk and began to write on a scroll. "A moment before you take Chouji..." He blew on the parchment to dry the ink, rolled it back up and handed it to Chouji.

"You were on a b-ranked mission. Yiau attacked you, you defended yourself. In the heat of the battle Yiau was killed. Every other fact remains as it happened. Push it into the mold of those three things." He grinned at Chouji who nodded. "That scroll contains the mission you were on, study it."

He gestured at Baku who led Chouji away.

Hinata looked at him. "You're excited." She said simply.

"You bet your shoulders I am." She rolled her eyes at him.

After a moment Kiba walked into the office, his Anbu mask absent. "Genki, Hokage-sama?" He said in a bored drawl. Akamaru was close on his heels. How he managed to henge the dog to never be seen with him was beyond Shikamaru.

Shikamaru wiped the blood from his lip and grunted. "I'm fine. I need you to spread it around that Chouji has been imprisoned for treason. Nothing too overt but make sure the message gets around. Speculate and pontificate on the rumor that it was a battle with a Root member." Kiba hadn't even stopped walking into the office before he turned around and walked about out, his hands still on the back of his head.

He scratched out another note. "To Danzo, if you please." He said to the chunin outside his door.

Hinata, who had watched him write the note tapped a finger on her lip and then smiled to herself. "That is...very intelligent."

"It's the only thing I'm good for." He said absently. "I still need the rest of your team."

"When Shino arrives, you will be the first to know, Hokage."

He hadn't thought of it before and he couldn't have planned it better. He could have ordered Kakashi to do something similar but while respected, Kakashi was not as beloved as Konoha's poster boy, the savior of the Academy Chouji and he couldn't have ordered Chouji to kill whoever showed up at a dead drop.

Well, in point of fact he could have but he wouldn't have. Partly because he couldn't be sure who showed up and sending shinobi blindly into battle was unconscionable but mostly because Chouji would have actually done it.

He wondered if this might not be enough to tear up the root. It could do it but he'd stick with the plan and call this icing on the cake. It didn't help with Suna at all but he had to trust that Gaara was sticking with his part of the plan as well.

He sat at his desk and stared at nothing, his mind racing. Hinata watched him, though he seemed not to notice.

It was almost half an hour of silence before Ino was admitted to the room. Even then it wasn't the chunin announcing her that dragged him out of his reverie but instead Fuyumi who bounded into the room behind Ino and shouted, "Wake up!" at him from the other side of his desk.

He blinked twice and then smiled at her. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

She shrugged. "Fu-two is..." She paused a moment and her butt hit the seat behind her with a thump. Ino looked worried for a moment and Shikamaru shook his head.

"She's just looking in on Two." He said and waited.

A long blank moment passed across Fuyumi's slack face and then she continued on as though there had been no pause, "Doing kunai practice. Plus Ino-san has been helping me with congo-dueling."

Ino sighed, "Cognitive-duality and it's something the Yamanaka have a lot of practice with."

Fuyumi nodded brightly, "That."

"Well go congo somewhere else. This is grown up stuff. Beat it." Both Ino and Hinata gave him stern looks. "Er...and get some ice cream or something. I don't know. Do kid stuff."

She stared at him for a long moment, her feet swinging beneath her chair as she contemplated this. "Mmm...ok." As if she was just agreeing with him instead of being ordered.

He waited until she was gone and Hinata had shut the door.

Ino leaned back in her own chair. "You know, you could be a little more nurturing with her."

"Oh yeah? Got a lot of experience being a parent?" He asked, growing surley. "She'd walk all over me if I give her an inch. I already don't have a bathroom anymore."

Ino sniffed and deigned not to respond to his statement. "Well?" She asked after a few seconds of staring at each other.

He blinked, still expecting a tirade but shook himself. "What? Yes. Ok..."


Still kicking. Enjoy, dave