The Five Little Ronins and the Big, Bad Talpa

Disclaimer: You got it. I don't own Ronin Warriors and all related titles, and I don't own the classic story of "the Three little Pigs."

Once apon a time there lived five hot guys named Ryo, Sage, Cye, Kento, and Rowen. These five teenagers were the Ronin Warriors. They lived with a nice lady named Mia and a little boy named Yuli. One day, Mia decided that the five Ronins had out stayed their welcome and you guessed it- booted them out of her house.

So, the five boys split up to built their own houses. The first boys, Ryo and Kento, were not the brightest crayons in the box and built their house out of toothpicks. Cye was a little brighter, but not by much, since he built his house out of coral. Rowen and Sage were by far the smartest of the five boys and made their house out of industrial strength titanium steel.

Well, one day, the big, mean, old, ugly, and evil dude named Talpa decided he was going to pick on someone. So, he went to Ryo and Kento's toothpick house. He knocked on the door. "Hey! I'm going to take over the mortal realm using your mystical armors!"

Ryo and Kento shook their heads and said: "Get lost!"

"No!" said Talpa. "All right, I'll send my Dark Warlords out on you!" Four men in really dangerous looking armors by the names of Anubis, Sehkment, Cale, and Dais all blew up Ryo and Kento's house. Once the two Ronins realized their house was unsalvageable, they ran like heck towards Cye's house.

They began to frantically bang their hands on Cye's door. "CYE! LET US IN! TALPA BLEW UP OUR HOUSE!!!" They screamed.

Cye opened the door. "All right, and you're just in time for lunch."

"Yippee!" Kento said, knowing that Cye's cooking was very good. So the three sat down for lunch and after the finished, they heard a knock on the door.

"I want those armors!" Talpa.

"Ugh, not again," said Ryo.

"No!" said Kento.

"Go away," said Cye.

"Make me!" Talpa answered. "All right, I'll send Lady Kayura after you." A young girl with a bad attitude appeared and demolished the house. Ryo, Kento, and Cye didn't think twice about running to Sage and Rowen's house.

The three Ronins began to pound on the door. Sage opened the door. "What?"

"Talpa blew up our house and Cye's house, can we crash here for a while?" asked Kento.

"Sure, just don't make a mess," said Sage. He let his friends in and closed the door. After managing to get Rowen the Stiff out of bed, they heard a banging on the door.

"If it's Talpa, we'll let you in when disco comes back," said Rowen. All of a sudden, the sound of music from the seventies could be heard. Apon looking through the window, they saw Talpa had somehow gotten a disco suit and was dancing on one of those funky light up floors with a mirror ball above his head while "Stayin' Alive" was blasting from some unknown stereo system.

"We're still not letting you in," said Sage.

"All right, then I'll send the Warlords AND Kayura after you," said Talpa. The sound of banging and pounding on the walls was heard, but the evil henchmen could not get through the industrial strength titanium steel walls.

"Nah, nah, Na nah, nah!" the Ronins sang, sticking their tongues out at the end of their very immature song. Talpa roared in anger and decided he'd try to go through the chimney. Of course, Sage and Rowen had already set the chimney from "OFF" to "WOW DAT'S HOT" and Talpa got one really nasty burn.

"YAHHHHHHH!" the bid bad demon shouted as he was blasted off into orbit and nearly crashed into a Russian space station.

So, Talpa was defeated and did not get to take over the mortal realm. The moral of this story is: houses made out of toothpicks or coral just don't cut it.