This is Shuuhei Hisagi, temporary editor in chief of the Seireitei Communication, welcoming you back for another advice column! Thanks for all of your questions this week (which were quite a lot!) This week Orihime Inoue and Uryu Ishida from the world of the living will be fielding your questions.

Which captain is the scariest? - Terrified of Authority

Captain Soifon is kind of scary. She says that I talk to Yoruichi too informally and that I need to be taught respect. I was just petting her, she's a cat, right? Cats like getting pet. I don't know why Captain Soifon got so angry. - Orihime

Captain Kurotsuchi. I can't believe that they allow someone so obviously deranged be a captain. - Uryu

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? - Food Critic

For some reason after I eat chicken I always want chocolate, so I got some chicken gravy and froze it to be like popsicles and then dipped them in chocolate. Once it hardened I dipped it in chili powder to make it a little spicy. It was really good but I think that it would be better with some lime as well next time. - Orihime

I had boiled sea slug once. The texture is that of jello but it tastes like meat. I'd rather not eat it again. I avoid all of Orihime's cooking because I enjoy very plan food myself. - Uryu

To Ishida: Who would you consider your best friend? - Ichigo (please be me please be me, I wanna be popular!) Kurosaki

Uryu doesn't have a lot of friends, so yes, I'd think that Ichigo was who he was closest too. Hi Ichigo! - Orihime

I don't have a best friend, and if I did it wouldn't be a shinigami, and if he or she was a shinigami it sure as hell wouldn't be Kurosaki. - Uryu

I love this guy but nobody likes him, he's very distant and he kills people when he's angry. How can I work this out? - Poisoned Lover

I don't know, he sounds kind of dangerous. Don't you think that your affections might be better if turned to someone a little more nice? I know that sometimes there's nothing you can do about it, and you just like a person, but you should be careful. Maybe you can help him with his anger problems? - Orihime

I barely see how that is different from any other shinigami. Maybe he just likes his distance. I'd leave him alone, some people like to be left alone. - Uryu

Orihime, how do you put up with Chizuru always trying to grope you? - Weirded Out

Oh, I'm sure that she's just doing it to be funny, she doesn't mean anything by it! Sometimes when things bother you it's better to just ignore them. - Orihime

Honestly, if anyone attempted to touch me in that way I'd break something. A broken jaw would serve Chizuru right, and maybe she'd learn some important lessons about boundaries. - Uryu

Ishidasan, your marriage papers have gone through successfully. The Seireitei has also forged background information for Ishida Nemusan to enter into your family registry. Uraharasan has already hacked the information into the national records. I (and the rest of the 9th Division) would like to wish you congratulations on your marriage. Also, your doujinshi just came in. I made sure that I got "Chappy's Forbidden Love" signed by Kuchiki Rukiasan (she wishes you congrats too). - Sick of Being Groped By A Drunken Superior

Oh, Rukia wrote a book? Or did she just buy it? If you're an author now Rukia, congratulations! Also, isn't Uryu kind of young to be married? - Orihime

I...I...I refuse to answer this ridiculous question. - Uryu

Of all the shinigami, who has the best sense of style? -Fashion Lover

I like how Captain Kyoraku dresses! It's so colorful and I bet he has lots of room to hide things. I'd carry snacks with me all the time if I had clothes so flowy. - Orihime

Captain Kuchiki carries himself with class and dignity and his wardrobe reflects that. I especially like how his scarf is kind of like a cape and how he keeps his gloves perfectly white. - Uryu

Orihime, do you like chocolate with popcorn? - Weird Food Combinations Rock

Of course I do! Popcorn is the best for mixing with flavors. I drizzle mine with Hersey's chocolate and strawberry sauce when I want something sweet, or melt cheese on it if I want something a little more savory. - Orihime

Those have to be the most normal ideas I've heard from Orihime yet. - Uryu

Ishida-kun, what would your reaction be if you weren't the last Quincy? - SecondToLastQuincy

Oh, wouldn't that be nice to have more than one? It must be lonely being the last. - Orihime

At least then I could train with someone other than my father. I'm pretty sure that he honestly tries to kill me.'re not my father are you? Can't I even escape you in the Soul Society? - Uryu

Inoue-san, What is about Ichigo's qualities that you like? He just scowls all the time. - Fluffy-writer

Oh, he's happy sometimes too! But I think his scowl is very much him. He's just so serious all the time, but that's ok. I like how smart he is and how strong he is. Plus his hair is fun! I know that he'd always protect his friends even if he doesn't let them get close. - Orihime

Nothing. He's annoying. - Uryu

To both of you, are you guys like an item? And if not, then who are you seeing or hoping to get together with? - CuriousBleachFangurl

I'm not dating anyone, if that's what you mean... - Orihime

I'm a little too busy to be dating right now. I have to protect the city since Ichigo sucks at it. - Uryu

Inoue, you're so pretty! How come you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet? - I volunteer for being said girlfriend

Oh that's very nice, but I don't even know you. I think Tatsuki might get mad at me anyways. She is always telling me to just ignore all the people that look at that way. I'm not really sure how to deal with it most of the time, so I try to look past it. - Orihime

I'm fairly sure that Chizuru has called dibs already. - Uryu

Quincy-boy, where does that obsession of capes come from? They're lame. - Karl L.

Maybe it's to keep dust of his shoulders? To make it look cool when he jumps? Maybe he has a superhero fetish? - Orihime

Karl Lagerfeld? I enjoy your designs, although I'd prefer it there were more white. And more capes. There's nothing wrong with capes, they're an on old school class of elegance and will never go out of style. They might not be the most practical but they always add something to an outfit. - Uryu

To both of you, if you guys were in a relationship wherein you knew your partner was cheating on you, what would you do, especially if you truly loved this person? - Girl-in-the-corner

I would confront them and try to work it out. Maybe I just misinterpreted things? I believe in second chances, and that most people are good. - Orihime

Cheating is disgusting. If the relationship isn't working out then end it, don't continue dating that person while going after another. Everyone loses in that case. I would dump the cheater, you clearly couldn't trust them anymore. - Uryu

Orihime, out of all the captains you've been must close with Captain Ukitake. Any reason you haven't offered to heal him? - Squad 4 Member

Oh, why, is he sick? - Orihime

Wow, Orihime, - Uryu

Do you have a hobby ? (You can write everything, even if it's something as lame as sewing) - Quincy hater

I like cooking and experimenting in the kitchen. I tried photography for awhile but I'm not very good at it, I think. I'm a good artist though! - Orihime

I sew as well as crochet and knit. There's nothing wrong with those things, they're not lame, they're useful. - Uryu

You two seem to be pretty nice, responsible kids. What's the craziest thing you've ever done ? - BadAss

I once was in a contest with Tatsuki to see who could hold their breath under water the longest but I held my breath too long and almost drowned! Tatsuki saved me though because she used to be a junior lifeguard. Also, I don't have a curfew since I live alone so sometimes I stay out really late! - Orihime

Joining up with Ichigo to crash into the Soul Society was definitely the stupidest and craziest thing I've ever done. - Uryu

Inoue, this is a request. A serious request. Stop shouting "Kurosaki-kun" all the time ! It just makes everyone want to kill you. And it's very distracting and embarrassing - K.I.

Um, ok. But it's hard because he's always in danger and I just can't help it. And when he's not in danger he's looking sad so I want to cheer him up. - Orihime

Please, Orihime, listen to this person. - Uryu

For Ishida: What's wrong with your father? Why do you hate each other so much? And don't tell me it's about different philosophies, that can't be it. - Loves My Father

Your dad does seem kind of scary. - Orihime

What's wrong with my father? Ha. If I knew that I'd make him write a prescription for himself and take whatever anti-psychotic meds he obviously needs to be on. He's arrogant, disinterested, disapproving, and pretty much a jerk in every way. I'd rather not even confront him, just live my life and ignore him. I think it has to do with my mother and with me being a quincy, but I honestly have no idea. - Uryu

Oh oh! I adore Uryu and just wanted to know more about the training his dad put him through to regain his powers. - Trainee

I'm not sure how he regained his powers. - Orihime

I don't really know what he did, just that he practically killed me doing it. He told me that I needed to fight him, and I was definitely willing to do that, but it's hard fighting against someone like that without any powers. I did the best I could but failed, and yet when I woke up I had my powers back. He said that he only shot me near the heart when I was exhausted because that's how a quincy can regain their powers, but I never trust what he says. - Uryu

To both: Ever thought of hooking up? You guys seemed like you got very close in Soul Society. - Matchmaker

Uryu will make someone a very good boyfriend, but we're not dating. He's a little too mellow to deal with me for too long...I think I annoy him sometimes. - Orihime

It was chivalry and common sense that made me protect Orihime in the Soul Society. She's too innocent and naive in general, people like that should be watched over so that they don't get hurt. - Uryu

For Orihime: Can you send me one of your wonderful recipes? - Cook

I want to make a cookbook one day so that people can try all of my recipes! Here's a recipe for edible cookie dough (no baking!). Use your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe and instead of eggs use one tablespoon of water. Then, instead of chocolate chips add other things that will be tasty. I like crunchy stuff in my cookies so I put croutons and pistachios in mine, and substitute the vanilla extract for mint extract. - Orihime

I don't know why, but even though the recipe doesn't sound as bad as some of her others, it made me feel really sick just listening to the ingredients. And you eat it raw like that? - Uryu

Uryu, if Ulquoirra came back from the dead and took Orihime from you, would you save her? - I Love Espadas

It was so sad the way he died. If only he hadn't been so stubborn and just let Ichigo rescue me. - Orihime

Of course I would. I know that she would come for me if I needed help. It's honorable to help your friends. - Uryu

Uryu, is one of the reasons you have the Seele Schneider is because you look like a Star Wars fan? - Scifi Geek

You consider me a friend, Uryu? That's so nice! - Orihime

Er, well yeah. I mean, more than an acquaintance, obviously. And no, I took the weapon because I needed it. Sure it looks cool, especially with my cape, but that had no effect on my decision. I am a Star Wars fan though, but only of the original movies. - Uryu

If you both were stuck in an empty room together, what would you two do and what would you bring? - From Squad 5

Well, snacks obviously. Maybe we could have tea party? I've always wanted to have one and it's not like Uryu could run off anywhere. - Orihime

I usually have my sewing supplies on me at all times. I'd try to do some tricky sewing to keep my mind off of Orihime babbling. And avoid tea parties. - Uryu

Orihime-chan, what are your measurements, exactly? I've looked EVERYWHERE, but I just can't find them. Even on stalker sites! Uh... not that I stalk you or anything... really." - Not Uryuu Ishida or Matsumoto Rangiku. Really.

Oh well I have to get my bras special ordered from France and they cost a whole lot. They just don't come big enough here in Japan. It's really had to get clothes that fit since I have such a tiny waist too. But I'm not going to give you my measurements because that seems kind of personal, and I don't even know you! - Orihime

It's really hard to guess how to make clothing for you when you won't tell me how big you are. - Uryu

Ishida, how did you learn to sew? - Sewer

Well, he does takes classes at school but he already knew how to sew before then. - Orihime

I'm completely self taught. I bought a bunch of books and learned that way when I needed to make myself my first quincy outfit. I'm a perfectionist so I dedicated quite a lot of time to it, which is why I'm so good now. - Uryu

"So... Inoue-san? When are you gonna wake up and figure out there's a jerk out there who actually likes you back? Then you can have crazy-weird dreams and feed HIM your psychotic cooking instead of trying to get me to do it. Oh... thanks for the bread that one time, though." - Kuchiki Rukia; who is only doing this because Ichigo is too much of a coward to put his name in print. And because she likes to help her friends. And because writing is the third person is surprisingly fun. Maybe I should tell Nii-sama about this...

What? Who? I already know that Uryu is in love with Rukia so... - Orihime


Orihime: What's your favorite memory? - Ms. S

I have a lot of favorites memories. I remember one day when my brother took me to the park, a trip to the beach with Ichigo and Tatsuki and everyone else, I remember when Tatsuki and I first met, of a happy birthday I had with my brother, and of the painful but still sweet memory of when Ichigo saved my brother from being a hollow. - Orihime

Mine is of my grandfather, but it's kind of private. I'm not sure why I'd tell you. - Uryu

Ishida, are you in a love battle against Ichigo fighting for Orihime's love? - A Lover

What? - Orihime

Make up your minds people, unless you suppose I'm some sort of playboy dating half of the women I know. Besides, Ichigo wouldn't have a chance. I can beat him at anything. - Uryu

Thanks for reading! Next week we have our two female captains answering questions. Captain Soifon of Squad 2 and Captain Unohana of Squad 4 will be here, so send in your questions!