Exist

First – Useless

('cause that's all she was - useless. and there he was, top of the tribe, hand in hand with a golden beauty. etcetera -} munkustrap.)


Disclaimer: Yeah. I admit it. I actually own CATS, which is why I'm writing fanfics on it. Lovely characters I've created, eh? NO JUST KIDDING. If I owned them, I'd be making stuffed up pairings that would probs kill off the entire fandom. Yay.

I'll post any warnings at the top of every chapter. Rating is subject to rise. I will not go over a T – I just don't do graphic, not on FF.N anyway. In this chapter? Implied violence, but nothing more.


As he looked at me, I glanced away. What was I to him? Little more than another, useless kitten to protect. He'd probably be happy to get rid of me and my useless, squealing antics. Useless, useless, useless. I watched with a practiced blank gaze as he slipped his hand into Demeter's and smiled warmly at her.

The perfect couple.

What chance did I stand? So instead, as one huge pretense, I went after his brother. I started a trend, in a way. Before I'd attached herself to Tugger, he'd been nothing. I merely tried to be his friend, hoping that he could help me win his brother's love. Instead, it had turned into something entirely else – false admiration. And suddenly, Tugger found himself swarmed with queens, and I got absolutely nothing out of it.

I sighed and began picking at my claws. It was a bad habit, but oh well. It wasn't as if he was going to look my way anyway. Jemima, his daughter (is it sad that she I'm jealous of her for being his daughter? After all, I've wanted a goodnight kiss from him all my life and Jemima got one every night) waved a hand in greeting, and wearily, I lifted my hand. I was tired. So tired.

So I got up and I found herself on the streets, because that was where I went when I needed loneliness to wash over and cleanse me. I released a breath into the air, and it misted upwards and faded. "Goodbye," I told it, reveling in my aloneness.

But was I really alone? And suddenly – what was that? I jumped up and glanced around, frantic. The disadvantage of being alone? There was no one to save you, ever. A cry of panic bubbling from my throat, I twisted away from his scarlet, clutching paws and ran. Well, that's what I would have done, if I wasn't so uselessly clumsy. I stumbled over my own paws, right into his arms.

He chuckled a low, menacing chuckle. It was a chuckle that stabbed right into the depths of my soul.

Suddenly, I understood why Demeter woke up screaming every damned night. Suddenly, I knew why the golden queen jumped at every little movement. Suddenly, I understood why she always needed Munkustrap's secure arms wrapped around her.

"MUNKUSTRAAAP!" I screamed, passion and terror mingling within the tones of my voice. "MUNKUSTRAAAP!"

Of course, I was going to die. What were the chances of the silver-grey tom showing up? Nil.

But I'd underestimated him.

Silver or scarlet? Before my blurred vision, they seemed in entwine together. They seemed to dance, bodies twisting in utter grace. Silver was always there to berate the scarlet. How long, I wondered, would they be able to co-exist?

But for now, they broke off and scarlet yelled his curses and left. Burning tears streamed from my eyes. I'm okay, I'm okay, my mind's voice whispered. Munkustrap came to me and smiled.

"He's gone," he said.

"You always chase him off for Demeter's sake, huh?" I sniveled miserably. Munkustrap blinked.

"You were the one in danger just then, kitten," he said quietly. "I warded him off because it is my job to protect all the tribe, not just my mate."

"I see," I whispered. It was almost no better than my own theory.

Munkustrap sighed and lifted me into his arms. He took me back home, stroking my forehead and cheeks soothingly all the way.

Never, never would I admit how much I enjoyed that last journey.


Yah yah, it's random drabble time, my littlies. Actually, more like 'remove rawrrkitty's writer's block so she can get on with FUN'. And since I love weird-face pairings? Here we are.

To Nekosoda, if you happen to read this... I stole this pairing from DL, sort of. I just wanted to write something 'bout them. 8D They might pop up again… Oh, also, I swear I didn't do this just cause you started writing drabbles on pairings you don't usually do (though I probs would have anyway). I wrote this yesterday while fighting a severe case of /shudder/ writer's block.

Pairing suggestions, 'nyone? Think WEIRD. I can try slash, but considering I didn't even read it just a couple of months ago…but yeah. Strange is good. I'll credit you, my dahlings.

Who's on drugs? Rawrrkitty, rawrrkitty! (but don't report me to the police, cause I'm kidding).