Chapter Name: The Squeeze Play.

Notes: Carly's boyfriend is worried about her relationship with Freddie. Carly blurts out that he's already got a girlfriend. Sam Puckett!

"So, I was on first base, and I noticed the new pitcher threw slower, and looked back at the bases earlier. On his second pitch, I waited till he was about to throw, and sprinted off towards second, I made it before the catcher even got the ball out of his gloves."

"That's so amazing." Carly sat in a booth in the far corner at the Groovy Smoothie, twirling her hair in her hands, eyes shining, makeup fully applied whilst Freddie rolled his eyes. Carly and Don had only been going out a week, but Freddie was already pissed off at yet another stupid perfect guy waltzing into their lives, causing Carly to fall for him without even trying. It was like the universe was directly punishing by throwing yet another example of his inadequacy in his face.

Don had recently moved to Seattle, along with the rest of his family, transferring into Ridgeway in the process for the remainder of the senior year. He'd been the baseball captain at his old school, and he'd been recruited for the Ridgeway team within days. Fast on the bases, middling hitter, good in the outfield, a leader off the field, he was a certainty to get picked up on a sports scholarship by any team looking for a good utility player they could work with. If he stayed focused and professional, he was a potential MLB player.

Unsurprisingly, he'd caused a stir amongst the female students that Freddie was sick of after a day, let alone the week of constant gushing that was pouring from Carly and Sam about him. It was bad enough that they'd all had far less free time to spend together, but when the girls were locked on a new guy, Freddie couldn't help but count down the minutes till he could get away from it.

So of course the guy went straight for Carly without a seconds hesitation the moment he saw her in the hallway.

'Ooh Mr Bigshot baseball guy, he thought with his stupid blonde hair, stupid perfect California tan, and stupid athletic physique. What's so great about that anyway?'

"Stupid nub."

"Sorry?" Don replied.

Freddie snapped out of his daydream of pounding Don's pretty face with a barrage of baseballs, and struggled to find an excuse, "Um, uh, Mr Howard. He's such a nub."

Carly ceased gazing at Don, and her eyes narrowed at the name of their teacher, "He is SUCH a jerk. He sits there jabbering on about stuff we don't even need to know, and I know he's picking on me and Freddie just because we got Principal Franklin back. I can't fail the class, I just can't."

Carly's doe eyed look of worry hit Freddie, and he reached over to cover her hand with his, "It'll be okay Carly, I'll be there to help you." Neither Carly nor Freddie noticed Don's eyebrow raising, nor recognized the turning of cogs in his brain.

Carly and Freddie were interrupted by a sharp sucking sound, "Looks like I'm empty. Hey Freddie, you mind going up to get us another round?"

"Sure Don. Same as before?"

"Yep, Banana Deluxe Protein Shake."

'So try hard.' Freddie thought as he stood up to go stand in line.

"I wonder what's taking Sam so long. Bring back one for her too!" Carly pondered, then called out to Freddie.

Don waited till Freddie was standing in line, hopefully out of earshot, before he turned to Carly, "So you and Freddie huh?"


"You seem really close." His words weren't especially disconcerting, it was more the slight undertone of jealously, and annoyance that caused Carly to dislike where this conversation was heading. She'd heard it before on several occasions, the outcomes were never good for her, and once the end result had cost her a relationship, "Oh yeah. We've been friends for years."

"You sure that's all? Just friends?"

Carly sighed, "Yes Don. He's just a friend."

"I heard you were a couple before?"

Carly looked him in the eye and recited the spiel she'd given more than a few times, "Yes. Freddie and I are just friends. We went out once for a week, but that was like some hero worship thing, Freddie broke up with me when he found out. It never came up again, so we just went back to being friends."

"Hero worship? What'd he do, push you out of the way of a speeding train or something?" Don chuckled.

"Truck actually."


"Yeah. The cops said I would've been broken in half if he hadn't saved me. That's the story."

"He broke up with you..." What an idiot, Don thought as he leaned back in his seat, his mind turning about what Carly had told him.

Carly knew that it was the 'moment of truth'. If the guy stopped with the questions, Carly knew it wouldn't cause any problems. If he asked more, then they might be in trouble.

Freddie started making his way back over to the booth.

Don however, opened his mouth, "You sure? The way he looked at you-"

Carly, struggling to stop the line of questioning, threw out a desperation play to stop another relationship from crashing and burning, "Freddie already has a girlfriend!"

"What?" Don was surprised, he was sure that it would've been brought up already.

"Yes! Freddie's girlfriend is.." Carly hesitated, unsure what name to say. Freddie couldn't help but have heard what she said, and was looking at her in near-shock. But it had been said already. Freddie would go through with it. For her. All it would take was a 'please for me', Carly thought, and he'd do it.

Rebecca Berkowitz? Wendy? Rhona? At that moment, the doorbell jingled, her blonde best friend walked into the shop, sat down in their booth and that was it.

Carly blurted out, "Sam. Freddie is dating Sam!"

Freddie barely managed to place tray of smoothies on the counter without spilling them.

"Sam?" Don asked, eyebrow raised once more.

"Yeah. They've been going out for a while now, it's kinda secret though."

"Oh, I see. I'll keep the secret hon." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey, no-one's looking, why don't you sneak a kiss?" Carly suggested eager to have Freddie and Sam play along.

Sam looked up at Freddie from the booth seat, noticing Freddie's nose and upper lip twitching. "I have to go. I'll see you later. Bye Sam. I got 2 smoothies for you, bye Don." Sam let out a silent sigh, glad to not have to go through with the kiss. Once was enough for her.

He stomped out of the shop, his feet heavy, the door slamming shut behind him.

Carly did not fail to notice the omission of her name, and weakly offered an explanation when Don turned to her with a quizzical look on his face, "Maybe he just didn't want anyone else to know."

Sam sat there with Freddie's smoothie in her mouth. It was obvious to her that Freddie was pissed, hurt that Carly said something so stupid in the heat of the moment. If like all the trio's previous fights, the one not involved would need to sort it out.

Sam was already planning an epic dumping in front of Don, maybe throwing in some mutual cheating, or perhaps some teary heartfelt confession that they both liked each other as friends but not anything more.

Or just throwing a bucket of pudding on his head and screaming "IT'S OVER BENSON," after giving him a few days to chill.

Sam didn't expect just how badly the idea of letting him 'chill' would turn out.

AN: Okay, this is another story in the same vein as "The Twilight of iCarly's Existence," or "All The World's A Stage." If you haven't read them, well, I hope you get the chance. It's not a series, but maybe you'll get a kick out of it.

For anyone who read the first two, I said not every story is going to be funny/comedic? This is one of them. Also, this will include a couple more chapters, probably 3/4 all up.