OK guys a new story from me. This one will be a slower paced one and will hold more thoughts and feelings.
I kept my beta the same for this story too because she is that awesome… big thanks and hugs to my beta Jigsawrose!
Fixed by an Angel
With every glance in the rear-view mirror I see the life I have lived fall farther and farther into the distance, with every mile I wonder what is so wrong with me. My name is Bella, I am a twice-divorced mother of two, running home to Forks yet again. With my children in the back seat, one reading and the other one playing with transformers, I worry about what my parents will say about this failed excursion, I will be staying with my parents until I get on my feet again, for the second time. The first time I left my husband, James, was for a good reason. He used to think I was his person ragdoll and would throw me around a lot. I worried daily about my sons' safety, so when he started to take all I had and go out only to smell like another woman's perfume when he came home, I was beaten in the head with an obvious stick and took my leave with my oldest, and only, child at that point. Now I feel guilty as a person can be because I left a hard working man who gave me yet another son. Really Jake is a good man and a wonderful father but after being together for nine years and married for three, something happened. We just drifted apart. I knew when we got married that we really shouldn't have, but I guess I just thought it was the next step; I mean we were happy at the time. Now I still love him but I'm not 'in love' with him. He didn't seem too broken up about it either though so I think he felt the same way. My divorce from Jake was nowhere near as messy as James's. James took me to the cleaners but Jake, he was calm. We split everything, what was his he kept what was mine I kept. I have both of my children. James was stripped of his rights but Jake as agreed to the weekends. We moved to Seattle while I was pregnant, now I'm on my way back to Forks and he is back to the reservation only fifteen minutes away. At least I am still able to be friends with him.
I pull up along the curb to my parent's house and park my car. My shoulders involuntarily slouch in defeat.
'Here we go again Bella just remember we are done with men. It's just you and your boys.'
"Mama are we gonna live with grandma and papa again?" Seth my oldest asks. Poor kid I've put him through hell but he is my trooper.
"Yes baby. Jake is close though, remember?" He seems to find comfort in the fact as I get out of the car.
"Bella…Boys!" My mother's screech for a greeting could never go unnoticed.
"Hi mama." I wave to her and I open the back doors of my car.
"Grandma!" My boys squeal as they run into my mother's arms and they begin to chatter about anything and everything.
My dad leaves them to talk and comes and wraps me in a hug.
"I'm sorry daddy I know you liked him but I just… couldn't anymore. I'm so sorry."
"Shhh baby its okay at least he is still good to you now lets not worry anymore." He puts his arm around me as we lean against my car.
"But daddy aren't you mad… I'm back again and this time for no good reason?"
"No I told you when you where little and when you left James, this is your home whenever you need it and who you bring is up to you. Someone will be your person baby just don't rush next time, okay?"
"No daddy I'm done. It's just and my boys." I look over at the boys and see them laughing and can't help the smile that appears.
"Don't be so quick with decisions Bells. You never know what's meant to be. Now enough on this lets get you guys inside." He closes the discussion and leads me inside calling the boys and mama to follow.
As we get inside I see my father has had an addition put on his house for the boys to have their own rooms. My father is a police chief of a small town and my mother is a house wife, so the fact that they did this shocks me.
"Daddy you did have to do this." I can feel the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. "The boys could have stayed in my room with me."
"Bella don't be ridiculous that room is way too small for all of you. Besides, I've wanted to add to the house anyway." He shrugs.
My boys run ahead to claim their rooms and I go straight to mine followed by my mother.
"Bella are you okay?"
"Yes mama I'm fine."
"Ok well I'm glad you home." The sorrow from her voice rings in my ears.
"Because, sweetie I only want you happy." It's amazing how she knows what I'm feeling without saying it.
"You unpack and settle in; I'll go help the boys."
"Send in little Billy will you?"
This whole thing seems to be sliding off of my youngest son, Billy. I worry about him the most because he is Jake's biological son. I know we are close to his father, but they used to spend so much time together and now things will be different. Billy got his name from Jake's father and seems to carry it with pride. I guess I just want to make sure both my boys are happy and safe, even with me feeling so lost.
"Mommy - Grandma said you wanted me."
"Yes baby, I wanted to know how you are doing…"
"I'm okay, will I see dad this weekend?"
"Yes baby you can still see your dad when you want and you can call him everyday, I'm sure he misses you."
"I miss him too."
"How about you get unpacked and settled in and we'll call him before dinner. Okay?"
"Sure sure." I can't help but smile at Jake's passive way of agreeing coming out in his son.
"Okay give me a hug and go get your stuff done. I'm going to go get more from the car?" He leaves and I go to get things form the car.
On my third trip back out Jake's black truck pulls up, behind my car.
"Bells, I can still call you that right?"
"Yes Jake we are still friends."
"Good, well here, Billy forgot this and you know he needs it to sleep at night."
He hands me the reddish brown wolf that Billy sleeps with every night. My mind wonders back to when we would hunt the house for that at bed time, and how he would settle for nothing else.
"Thanks, why don't you take it in to him I'm sure both boys would like to see you."
"Sure sure." He says as he walks in. I grab two boxes and walk in a few minutes later.
"Let me help you with that Bella." My dad offers as he takes a box.
"Oh thanks daddy."
On our way back out for yet another trip I hear Jake stop my dad and let him know there is more in his truck and ask if he can bring it in. My dad tells him it's no problem and they head to Jake's truck and start to move the beds in for the boys. After they put both beds together and mom has the clothes put away we all head down stairs.
"Well do you guys need anything else?" Jake pauses and turns to us.
"I think we have it from here thanks Jake." I respond. "Boys tell daddy bye."
"Bye Jake." Seth said with a slight wave as he heads in to watch the game with his grandpa. The hurt that appears on Jakes face as he waves good bye makes me feel like I'm going to cry.
"Bye dad" Billy said as he gave his dad a big hug. "I'll miss you."
"Bye Bill I'll see you in a few days and mom says I can come see you when I want okay?"
"Okay" I can tell by the crack in his voice the tears are about to fall.
Jake hugs his son back picking him up to cuddle him a little more and hands him to me so he could leave without Billy seeing his own tears. I take him and let Jake know he will be fine. After he is gone I take my crying son into the living room to rock him until he calms down. Thankfully my parents have always been the type to let me parent my kids in my own way; they don't interfere unless I ask for help. As I sit and rock him I begin to think that maybe it best to let him stay with his father and that I am being selfish to keep him with me. My inner turmoil is interrupted by my mother to tell me Billy has fallen asleep. So I take him upstairs and put him to bed kissing his forehead before I leave. At the bottom of the stairs my mother calls for me.
"Bella, come here please?"
"Yes mama?" I ask as I round the corner
"I know what you where thinking just now and I don't agree."
"Mama please just stop!" I hold up my hand and look down.
"No Bella you may be his mother but you are a woman too. Now, you are a damn good mother and no matter what that boy of yours is better off with you." I raise my brows at her language, my mother just doesn't swear. "Jake may be a good guy but if you where not happy then you had to go before you hated him and caused more problems for both the boys. An unhappy mama makes for an unhappy home. You have done the right thing Bella and he will be alright - it will just take time to adjust, remember Seth had problems adjusting too and Billy will get to see his father unlike Seth, and you helped Seth pull through now Billy needs you. I understand you are feeling lost Bella but do it on your own time not in front of them they need you to be strong and sweetie I have never known a stronger person than you. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Trust me and your father and I will be here with you the whole way." I have never been one to run to my mother but she seems to see things my father misses and seems to know how to pick me up if only for a short time.
"You really think so mom…I mean I just want to do what's right and I don't know what that is anymore?"
"Yes Bella you are doing fine, you will be fine. You will find love again."
"No mama I am done with that, it's just gonna be me and my boys from now on."
"You never know what's meant to be Bella." She starts supper and drops the conversation at that.
What the hell is with these two; did they have some kind of trip Bella out meeting. I hate it when my parents get all cryptic on me!
I shake my head to clear my thoughts and start helping my mother with supper.
Just as we are finishing up I hear the creak of the stairs and look at my mom, she nods that it's okay for me to go. I get to the steps to see Billy rubbing his eyes.
"Hi baby feeling better?"
"Yeah I'm hungry though."
"Well it's a good thing dinner is done then huh?" My smiling mother appears and leans against the wall. "Come on let go." She takes his hand and calls to Seth and my dad. I follow her and they follow me in. We all sit down and begin the first night of many in our new arrangement.
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